Bipolar Check-in #86

My gp appointment was so nice. She’s just so lovely. I rang and booked an appointment with my pdoc for 13 February so that’s a win. Just have to get pesky bloodwork done for my lithium. Ughhhh.

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Originally Posted by Moose72 Never heard of lactulose! Is it prescription? I’ll make sure to ask about it. I’m taking colace too.

Lactulose is prescription at least it was when I was on it. My GI doc had me taking lactulose, colace & Miralax at the same time, and I was on most of the same psych meds too, so I would assume it's not too terrible to add. It's only a synthetic sugar, so different from other meds. I'm still on colace, but that's the only one now.

Hiya from Oz to one and all. I'd love to have come and join in earlier, hopefully tomorrow. Tonight, my Friday night, my intention is to share a feeling with each one of you, everyone that reads. And that is your loved. By me, by everyone around you.

Because I dont need to know you to love the spirit you show when I read your posts. To be inspired that you're here encouraging others, continuing to navigate life's challenges, continuing to hold onto hope and release the things you cannot control.

Hopefully one day I'll know you a little more. Until then, I'm 100% sure, you're amazing. And loved. Believe me. And if you're still unsure how amazing you are, ask the person in the post before or after this one.

Thank you for being you.

Sent from my SM-S908E using Tapatalk

Oh, Moose, I forgot there is an alternative to lactulose to ask about that is OTC to ask your doc about which is taking a magnesium supplement. Magnesium works even better than lactulose. Though you have to find the right dose for your body; if you take too much, it can have a laxative effect. I've found it works quite well and doesn't cause stomach cramps the way a laxative does (on the right dose). I still do take magnesium; in fact so does H (as probably TMI he has problems with **** fissures). However, the dose is very subjective to the person. H takes 250 mg daily and cannot take more whereas I take 2 400 mg daily (which is on the high side, but every time the doc has checked my magnesium levels it's been fine as long as I don't take the magnesium the day before or of a blood draw, but calcium is the same way too). We use the liquid gel tablets which are a bit more expensive but I find work better (at least for me). Also, a good prescription for external hemmroids and I believe some internal hemmroids at least to ask your doc about is A**lpram if you are not already on it; H sometimes uses it (sorry, can't spell it out as it is not allowed, just add an "na" to the word); however, brand name works better than the generic.

Does the word “anal” really get censored? (Testing testing )

Yep, I tried it again in my previous post, and sure enough, it did?? Weird. Trying again: ****

It censors me on it; isn't that strange?

The positive about magnesium too is it is good for muscles; that is why I originally started taking it; then, I noticed the effect on constipation. Some people say it helps with their sleep, but not for me.

muddy, did clonidine help you with sleep again? I was on it before for ADHD, and I remember it made me tired (though not tired enough to sleep the way Seroquel does). It didn't really help the ADHD, so the doc took me off it. I'm not even convinced I have ADHD, the pdoc diagnosed it, but maybe I could have been hypomanic when he did? I mean, isn't it hard to tell the difference?

I feel so much better today. I wonder if I just had some slight stomach bug. Plus whatever I ate. I did my full workout as soon as I got up and I feel good today in general.

mu husband went and got me some sprite last night. since last year i get random times when mystomach just aches and usually sprite helps. thankfully i feel fine this morning. i have a lot of plans plus work and practicum today so i needed to be ok.

lots of homework. ugh. 11 weeks left and im done with homeowkr! i also ordered a book to study for my boards.

How are you censored for **** and I'm not?!? I get special privileges lmaooo

edit: What? It didn't censor the first timie when I put "****" in quotes!

edit2: I must've found a glitch in the system

i also added the extra 2mg of risperdal yeterday and managed to not get super sleepy on it. didnt see anything either. maybe i jsut need extra in the afternoon

It did! I got 7 hours last night again! (I woke up twice from nightmares) That's two nights in a row! edit: will add that I've been waking up really groggy and with a headache, but I started Trileptal/oxcarbazepine at the same time so I'm not really sure which would cause that. Pdoc did say the oxcarbazepine can cause sedation which is why I'm on a little in the morning and more at night.

I think it is hard to tell the difference between ADHD and hypomania. If I didn't recreationally use adderall and fall asleep instead of get "more manic," I probably would've been told I was hypomanic at the time anyways. My old pdoc actually said something like "oh, you've got classic bipolar and a hyperthymic temperament so of course you're essentially hypomanic at baseline." I visited him a year ago and told him it was suspected, and he said, "oh, now that you mention it, I can see it. Ask to try a stimulant next time you're inpatient." Except I didn't wait I just took my then-bf's haha (don't do that).

My inpatient pdoc said my ADHD is really severe though--like to the point my constant non-sequiturs looked like psychotic disorganized speech at times if the person I was talking to wasn't as good at connecting the dots I was leaping to and from.

(As a side note, if you're into personality theory, the MBTI types that have strong extroverted intuition (Ne) like ENTPs and ENFPs and to a lesser extent INTPs and INFPs, will look like, or commonly have, ADHD. Ne is basically the ability to observe an idea and create a bunch of possibilities from it). (ENTPs can be the best or worst people depending on how you perceive them and ENFPs are the best and worst people depending on what day of the week it is haha) (huge generalization, I spent too much time on r/mbti and after a week r/******mbti when I was on reddit).

Good morning. Took a 40 minute walk outside this morning. Slept decently. The PRN Thorazine is helping a lot. I wasn’t doing well yesterday evening and I took one and it helped a ton.

There’s bingo today downstairs in the community room at 2pm so I’m gonna go to that later. Hoping they make coffee for us too. Usually they do.

I had an appointment with my primary care doctor yesterday and he ordered some tests for the GI issues. I see him again in two weeks to go over the results.

Gonna get back to practicing violin today. My goal for 2025 is to learn vivaldis concerto in A Minor.

I’m now my own payee, so that’s nice

I (kinda) fixed my computer with duct tape. I'm waiting for it to shut down randomly, but whatever. My background screen got deleted too, but it was an opportunity to get something new! Now it's a picture I took during a hike of Pinkham notch in stick season from above. I guess I'm on a roll because I put air in my tires again finally (lugging up the compressor sucks so much).

I see a new therapist today. Kinda afraid. I don't want to have a good appointment, expect her to help, and then her be like every other therapist who cancels every third appointment and only makes me understand why I am the way I am (which I already do get that when your dad is mean to you and says that that's love you confuse meanness and love later on) rather than change the way I am.

Drawing this morning and having fun at it; I have a book called Awesome Things to draw with really quirky things in it; a hand with fingers holding a squishy eyeball; little sideways view of an eye with a heart as the pupil. Some of the other drawings are super weird like a baby head on spider legs (haven't drawn that one yet); however, interspersed in the book will be a few normal pictures like a pretty lady, so it's hard to figure out the exact theme of the book. I want to go back to drawing; I've done those first two eye pics; I'll see what I feel like drawing next. Maybe I should try the hand with an eye in the middle of it pic; make it an eye of it today! Having so much fun, feel I could spend all day drawing!

Therapy went okay. I guess because of the team shyt she knows a lot about me already. I've already shared "wisdom" that she said she's going to use with other clients. Basically the idea that if you're in crisis and think "I'm not going to use my coping skills because they won't make me feel better," think "my options are use healthy coping skills to at least pass the time, use unhealthy coping skills and regret it later, or sit and do nothing and let these emotions/thoughts get worse" instead and give yourself the freedom to decide.

Surprise surprise, I slept pretty well on my reg meds. Cool dream of art classes. Woke up at 9 so 8 hours of sleep. I probably should go to bed earlier but why. I like my late night shows. I’ve nothing to do in the ams. My time is wholly my own. Besides going to bed early doesn’t mean I’ll sleep earlier. I’d just toss and turn until my regular bedtime.

I’ve a haircut in 20 minutes, gotta go.

@Moose72 my family dr recommended chia seeds for constipation. They work great, as well as prescription meds I've been on in the past. I put 2 spoonfuls in oatmeal twice a day and it real ly works.If I were in your situation I'd still need a stool softener but barely. It's pretty impressive since I'm on quite a few meds that cause constipation.

I've had a good today today, did plilates, read & used the SAD lamp, then I drew a long time. 4 images today but a few took awhile to shape the initial outline right. Basically all my drawings today are weird and creepy drawings that have eyes in them (all in the creative corner forum). I'm posting the most normal one here, which is just an eye with a heart-shaped pupil.

That’s really good Blueberrybooks, very impressive! your enthusiasm for drawing makes me want to get better at being consistent with it

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird That’s really good Blueberrybooks, very impressive! your enthusiasm for drawing makes me want to get better at being consistent with it

I think I have definitely sharpened my skills. And even those drawings I've done that haven't quite turned out have given me new ideas as ways to approach drawing something similar or if I try to draw it again. My philosophy is I can only get better with practice, not worse so might as well keep trying! And today, the eye pictures, I had a blast drawing those! I may be crazy; I really, really like to draw eyes!

Eyes are definitely fun to draw I’m happy you found something you love that brings you joy everyday that’s awesome! It makes me happy when people find hobbies that they are passionate about. As someone who plays violin and does art too I love it and it also inspires me to see people’s enthusiasm

I went to bingo today. It was pretty fun. I didn’t win any of the 3 games but I got free coffee and that is always worth it as a coffee fiend lol but yeah I saw Papi’s previous owner down there at bingo. She’s doing okay. I mean as well as she can considering she was just in the hospital for congestive heart failure and her sister died the day before yesterday. She gave me papi’s bed and the rest of his treats. She is gonna come up and visit sometime. She said her family wants her to move down to Florida with them which is understandable them wanting her closer due to her health issues. I’m still gonna keep in touch with her even if she does move, and call frequently cause she likes to talk to Papi over the phone and check in to see how he’s doing. She’s a really nice lady.