Bipolar Check-In #92

I hope Blueberry is okay. She’s one of my MSF moms. Not sure I’ve seen her THAT manuc before.

Here’s my office

I made the chicken recipe last night. In the crockpot. I fell asleep and by time I woke up it was just about done. It took 8 hours. Came out really good. Waiting on my grocery delivery to come now so I can make a batch of homemade brownies. Then my sister is coming over tonight and we’re gonna have brownies and cocoa and I’m gonna give her some of the chicken to take home.

Did a load of laundry this morning and took out all the trash. Cleaned up my apartment a bit. Still need to vacuum a little later. Gonna practice violin in between baking brownies and my sister coming over. She’s not coming over till 7pm so I have time. Learning the Siamese cat song from Disney on violin. My next lesson with my violin teacher is September 14th. Looking forward to it.

I feel good. Dissociated a lot yesterday and panicked but got it to go away eventually and enjoy the rest of the night. Always feel better after sleeping. It’s like my brain reboots and instantly I feel 100 times better when I wake up the dissociation is gone. Too bad I can’t nap on demand. I’d just take a nap any time I started dissociating. And it’d stop it but I’d have to be tired at that particular time and usually I can’t sleep during the day time.

Anyway, I only slept 6 hours last night. On the loveseat. So it wasn’t great sleep. I am hoping to get some better sleep tonight. Tomorrow I’m gonna try to go to mass @9:30am but if I oversleep it’s okay because I do need to get some sleep. But if I happen to wake up early I’ll go ahead and go to mass.

Monday I have a shift at my volunteer job.

I guess I slept ok. Our new TV is really loud so it scared me awake. I've been waking up feeling scared lately. Idk why. I just had the same endless mall dream I normally have. I got up at 3 to eat some cold pizza. I thought I'd be up but then I fell back asleep until 7. I was so tired even after my fullwork out. I feel ok now. I picked up a crap ton of groceries for the new fridge.

Not sure on the rest of the day. I'll probably use my stepper some more. Its a lot better then the treadmill.

I think swimming is on today. Gymnastics is on tommorowm.

Idk. I'm just shooting the breeze. I've only been working out for a few weeks but theres already a notiiceable differnce. I've stopped focusing on the number and am focusing on just getting into shape.

My mom did say I was talking a lot today. But I think its just the caffeine I had.

Now I'm kinda in a slump. I guess I'm just wondering if I'll be cut open or not. I think my stress is understandable and I'm handling it good.

They make B12 pills that dissolve in your mouth and they taste good.
Maybe he has gone that route. poor guy.

Had a pretty good day so far. Went to eat Mexican with my friend from my sci-fi group. Had Chimichangas wtih some rice, it was really good. It was nice getting together with her. My other friend canceled because she wasn't feeling well, as well as my friend from Poland. I am okay though, it gives me more time to clean and get things done around my house preparing for my big weekend, next weekend, when my friend stays over Friday night when we go to our Edgar Allan Poe Speakeasy show. Also, it gives me more time to watch Xena: Warrior Princess, lol.

Glad you're feeling better @Blue_Bird - I hope you have fun with your sister tonight. I know things can get overwhelming.

I feel really good that I got out and bought myself some new fuzzy slippers yesterday. I can't believe I let mine get so old and broken up. It was time to let them go.

I also heard the store "Claire's" is closing too, they declared bankrupcy. That's where I got all six of my holes pierced in the early 90s. I loved all their cute hairties, earrings and accessories. Shame to see them go.

Yeah where are people going to get their ears pierced now? The only places I know of is expensive tattoo shops. Hmm I wonder where my granddaughter got hers pierced? I never asked. She was seven. She’s a girly girl like her mom. Me I never was into that stuff as a child. I got my ears pierced by Clair’s when I was 16-17. Most of my friends had piercings long before I did.

Shadow that sounds so much fun. I don’t know anyone here to share sci fi stuff with. Decades ago I had a good friend I went to the cons with, we saw Shatner but I really wanted to see Nimoy. But he rarely appeared and not at any up here in Minnesota.

Blue bird hope everything goes well with your sister.

Well I’ve worked my 6 days this week. 49 hours. I’m exhausted and ready to have two days off.
Having breakfast with friends tomorrow and then starting mandolin lessons tomorrow afternoon. Tuesday I’m
Going to
See a movie with two other friends.

Life
Is looking up

Happy Sunday to me. Taking my son for his Vitamin B12 shot. Ughhh. A prescription from his paediatrician so we have to do it. Then going to take a drive past our wedding venue just to have a sticky beak lol. Will have to stop off for lunch somewhere. Yesterday I had a cheat day. I ate tiramisu. Oh my it was sooo freaking delicious I devoured every single bite. It was well worth the misadventure lol. I’ve got allergies this morning. My eyes are so itchy and I can’t stop blowing my nose. Not sure what’s kicked it off. Usually I get this from dust but I haven’t been cleaning I just woke up like this. Maybe it’s the cold weather that’s offset my nose. I’m not sure. Have to take a bath when we get back later on. I really don’t feel like it but I force myself to bath every Sunday and then I just shower during the week.

Hope you’re all having a good day or at least an acceptable one.

We did find B12 gummies that we’ve been giving him but as his levels are critical he has to have the injections to boost them up. And that injection is HUGE. I feel so bad for the poor guy. I don’t like it but I feel we must do it because that’s what the paediatrician ordered. She said low - critically low in his case - can cause developmental delays.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Yeah where are people going to get their ears pierced now? The only places I know of is expensive tattoo shops. Hmm I wonder where my granddaughter got hers pierced? I never asked. She was seven. She’s a girly girl like her mom. Me I never was into that stuff as a child. I got my ears pierced by Clair’s when I was 16-17. Most of my friends had piercings long before I did. Shadow that sounds so much fun. I don’t know anyone here to share sci fi stuff with. Decades ago I had a good friend I went to the cons with, we saw Shatner but I really wanted to see Nimoy. But he rarely appeared and not at any up here in Minnesota. Blue bird hope everything goes well with your sister.

Yeah @Nammu - I don't know where girls are going to get their ears pierced now, Claire's was the best place to go when I was a teenager. Those tattoo places are definitely pricey.

I am sorry you don't have many people to talk sci-fi with - this group meets an hour away so it gets difficult to do things with them, but I am grateful to at least have that. Thankfully the friend I met from the group is willing to drive half way between us, she wanted to try the vegan bowl this Mexican place had, so I am glad we were able to meet and she liked everything.

How have your dreams been lately?

I got mine pierced at Claires when I was 7. I let them close up and then I got them pierced again when I was 10. I can still feel the hole a bit.

My stomach hurt badly but I ate a small cup ot Noosa yogurt and it helped.

I wonder it 2 Bayer this morning, 2 Tylenol around 12 and then 2 Aleeve tonight is a bad combo

Slept in until 10 am. Woke up to a text and email from the same coworker expecting work to be done over the weekend even though our boss made it very clear not to expect people to work in the evening of over the weekends. It's just another instance where this coworker is acting like she is in charge of us which is frustrating.

Really struggling with SI and irritability today. But, what I call Holy Spirit moments that tell me to stick around keep happening.



I don't want to up my meds, but I think I'm going to have to ask my pdoc about increasing my seroquel when I see him this week to help with this depression that won't go away.

I cleaned out my fridge-I sure do waste a lot of food when depressed because I end up getting easy food, like a frozen meal, instead of cooking some nights.

My dreams have been goofy and fun lately. Last nights featured a guy who lives here who only has one lag, but in my dream he had both legs and was building a huge art walk in vivid color. Was fun.

I want to go to bed and it's only 7:00pm. More out of weariness than fatigue. I'm tired of trying to entertain myself. I checked out a new hotel bar but it was not appealing so i guess i am doomed to spend my weekend nights at home alone. I got back to playing online Scrabble today. Killed and won all three games. I still got it! Noted i lost interest in socializing with the gang in the dog park today and excused myself. Just no interest in talking anymore. My high mood evaporating and it's about time. Have discovered smoothies and bought an individual mixer unit. They are delicious and nutritious.

@HALLIEBETH87: Your office looks marvelous! Perhaps something for the wall above the sofa ~ a nice colorful quilted wall-hanging with lots of red would really cozy the space up!

Yes I need something on that wall. I looked at hobby lobby but nothing stuck out

N3 and his dad are singing two old duets from the 1600s and 1700s tomorrow at church. I’m looking forward to it.

Shame my poor little man took his vitamin b12 shot like a champion. He cried but I told him being brave doesn’t mean you don’t cry. You can still be brave but cry from the sting. Gp said it’s a nasty injection because it really stings. Ouch.

I finally figured out whats up with these joint and muscle aches. I found out its a very common side effect of my cholestrol med. Even the swelling part is a side effect.

I just need to talk to someone to figure things out.

How do you deal with a close friend of many years who suddenly starts giving you one word replies without explanation? I just said “I’ll catch you later since you don’t seem to want to talk”.

Had a good time having my sister over. She had hot chocolate and some of the brownies I made for her and I gave her some of the chicken to bring home. She gave me a 6 pack of fruit infused water and she also got me a couch cov r from Walmart since I needed one. Papi immediately decided to lay on it cause it’s soft and cozy. Now I’m laying in bed listening to music and watching the galaxy projector moving on my ceiling

I slept several hours last night with no breathing problems. I’m doing much better today.

@Blue_Bird: That Galaxy projector is neat! You youngsters have such great ideas!

@Moose72: Sorry to hear your friend is being uncommunicative. I speculate endlessly about peoples' behavior too. My friend made fun of me one time saying, "Maybe he behaved that way because he is an alien!" So now when i drone on about why someone did something, all the possible permutations, i just stop it by saying, "Maybe he is an alien," and we laugh about it.

~~~~~~~

I took my meds super early. I got a med increase as i am tired of struggling with sleep. I've actually slept a long time already, just not at the right time of day. I took a melatonin and hope to fall asleep again.

@JaneOnceMore. I don’t think it’s fair of him to suddenly act this way without explanation. He has threatened in the past to stop talking with me altogether- which just made me realize that he can be manipulative which is highly irregular for someone who is a therapist “in real life “! This is a 20+ year friendship. So I’m just going to let him cool off and hopefully want to tell me what’s going on in his head. Because I am not a mind reader as they say!

Now I’m at Starbucks near church. I’ll stay here till I take my pills and the 8:00 service starts. N3 and my ex aren’t singing until 10 and I didn’t sleep that well last night. Just when I got comfortably snoozing, my alarm went off!