.....a little better....hopefully I"ll rebound....

[Landoflimbo]

I'm quite unwell, this doesn't help my mood much at all. Infact I'm feeling extremely sorry for myself..

[greentires4me]

I am quite down from yesterday...

[Trigger] I'm miserable today. Every day college gets closer and closer and I know I won't be able to handle it. The classes, the social contact, trying to settle on a major, living in the dorms within such a close proximity of others. I know I'm going to feel so alone. And then after college, what then. I won't have any friends, I won't have anyone except my mother, but I can't live with her, because I have to make something out of my life, but I won't be able to. I don't know if I can handle a job, but even if I could, what's the point of a job when there isn't even a point to my life. I'm just tired. I don't have the energy to do anything. I just want to go away.

Very bleak message today. I'm sorry.

[youwillrise]

im mostly okay?

my family got a dog yesterday.

i am not a fan of dogs. they scare me....so, ive been trying to move myself past my personal feelings about having a dog in the house. it would be so wonderful if i could afford to move out, but i dont make enough to do so. i might be able to pay rent, but i wouldnt have money for food, other utilities, etc. arrrgh.

im just not into it.

it took me a while to get up the nerve to go upstairs to get food today because the dog was there.

[visiblestars]

I am terrible today. I've spent the whole day wallowing about last night. I'm not sure where I should post these thoughts. I don't want to glut the forum with new threads specifically about my issues, but boy could I use some solidarity.

I feel useless.

Expendable, invisible, ancillary. I could disappear and the world would roll on without me.

Last night I went out with friends, and my one friend wouldn't even look at me. He just...I know I can't make him look. I can't make him text me back. But I am dying for him to see me and he just refuses. I don't know what to do. If I hadn't been there last night, nothing would be different.

I am just a novelty that at any time can be discarded.

God I sound so BPD.

[greentires4me]

I brought some...

Not doing well. I had a pretty run-of-the mill day; I worked from 9a-9p and then, just after I left work, my mood plummeted. I hate myself tonight.

[greentires4me]

since my little overdose last night I am feeling perplexed by all the feelings that brought it up

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I hate my rage.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by youwillrise

im mostly okay?

my family got a dog yesterday.

i am not a fan of dogs. they scare me....so, ive been trying to move myself past my personal feelings about having a dog in the house. it would be so wonderful if i could afford to move out, but i dont make enough to do so. i might be able to pay rent, but i wouldnt have money for food, other utilities, etc. arrrgh.

im just not into it.

it took me a while to get up the nerve to go upstairs to get food today because the dog was there.

I am afraid of dogs, too. My roommate has a cat, th ough I am trying to make friends with her.

[TheRealFDeal]

Why does it have to hurt so bad?

[youwillrise]

anxiety for the first night in about 2 weeks. =/ cant sleep. im sitting here with the back massager on. why does this have to happen when i have to work later in the morning?

Up and working...day 3 of 11...or something like that. So far, so good. Gotta watch the emotions creep out when I get bored or frustrated. The hard times are once I'm off and have time to think of the stuff I couldn't think of all day.

[hungryghost]

Meh... Sick of myself and sick of everyone being sick of listening to me talk about it. Ah ha ha.

[greentires4me]

I am exhausted...I been up since 4:30am this morning and its now 7:26am and the sun in peeking through my blinds...

irritated with the world. not necessarily my own family. except daughter refuses to listen when we tell her to stop standing on things. she's going to end up breaking something and the pieces are going to cut into her foot and then what's she going to do? bawl. sigh. been putting her in time out for it, but not sure it works, ha.

anyway...otherwise doing alright. crocheting a large doll. it's going to be pretty awesome when i'm finally finished. still working the first leg. it's going to be about 3 feet tall so yeah, haha...

blah.

[greentires4me]

just a check in still feeling tired but its now 11:26....and I had an apple for breakfast and some chocolate covered almonds. I have made and eaten lunch it was ichiban noodles on a plate I didn't want the broth. I have done all my dishes I have sanitized my counters. I have also gone for a walk to the pharmacy and back. I have taken out the trash.

[youwillrise]

about to head back to the classroom as my break is almost over. tired. hopefully sleep well tonight.

I'm Here.

Sorry I was late, again. Been Surfing.



-Fleeing Bellocq

Hate myself.

[greentires4me]

its the Monday blues I been seeing a trend on here...

I feel relaxed but just tired of all this nonsense in my life right now and trying to fix it.

[youwillrise]

i feel like therapy is getting more challenging...i almost felt another side of myself come out during the last session i had. the annoyed, snippy, agitated, defensive side of me...i really need to make this therapy thing work...i cant sabotage it by feeling criticized or feeling like she's trying to catch me in some kind of lie because it probably isnt true? i think it isnt...i dunno if it is or not, but yeah...whatever. i dont know

[youwillrise]

i feel like my empathy has shut down...and i feel like im a jerk because of it.

Monday doesn't exist for me. I can work 7 days a week.