[lynn09]

The gaping jaws of Depression have swallowed me whole...can't move...can't think...can't see...can't breathe...pounded by wave after wave of too much sorrow, grief, loss, hopelessness, futility, frustration, damage, injury, destruction, agony, torture, indifference, betrayal, injustice, judgment, condemnation...my abusers are never going to stop until they have crushed the very life out of me with their vicious lies...deceiving and manipulating others into doing their dirty work for them...my mother always said that she wanted to kill me slowly by inches so she could enjoy watching me suffer, and my siblings, the products of my parents' handiwork, are doing just that...fulfilling the destinies for which they were trained...punishing me unto perpetuity for crimes I have not committed...punishing me for existing...imprisoning me in a living death...determined to make me into the nothingness they have defined and portrayed me to others as being...

[turquoisesea]

(((((((lynn))))))))

I'm sorry there's not much I can say here except I do know how you feel I think. Except... your mother. I'm horrified she said that. For what it's worth you're not nothing to me *hugs*

[Landance]

Hope you feel better soon. Don't believe what your mom tells you.

[Gus1234U]

aahh Dear Lynn~!! i had to leave my family, go far away, and start a new life... it wasn't easy, it was incredibly lonely for a long time, but in the end,, it was well worth it,, i could never have done the healing work i needed in the environment where i was. i hope beyond hope that you find a way OUT ~! {{{{BIG HUGS}}}} Gus

[Rohag]

((((((( Lynn09! )))))))

What's behind your words -- the whole of the situation or some new development (or non-development)?

[lynn P.]

((Lynn09)) - sorry to hear depression has a strong grip on you ATM. Do you still communicate with your family? I wish I had more wisdom to share.

[Viza]

I've read many of your posts in Q&A section, you are doing something positive with your life. It is very admirable.

Don't let other people take away your sense of peace. Let them play their games, they mean nothing. You are worth more, I've seen it.

[Cherrios]

You are MAGNIFICENT! I am so SORRY that someone, so close to you, could be SO MEAN! I know this might sound like it is IMPOSSIBLE because you have such a BIG heart, but you have to NOT CARE what your family says. I know this makes it harder than just not listening, but it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE! Sending strength your way!

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by Viza

I've read many of your posts in Q&A section, you are doing something positive with your life. It is very admirable.

Don't let other people take away your sense of peace. Let them play their games, they mean nothing. You are worth more, I've seen it.

I think you might have your 'Lynns' mixed....... unless Lynn09 is in the Q&A section and I don't know it lol. Not that I mind being confused with Lynn09 - who is gifted with words.

[lynn09]

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

(((((((lynn))))))))

I'm sorry there's not much I can say here except I do know how you feel I think. Except... your mother. I'm horrified she said that. For what it's worth you're not nothing to me *hugs*

Thanks, (((sea))). Actually, that's probably one of the nicer things my mother has said to or about me during my 60 years on this planet - but, that's who she is - who she has chosen to be. She and my older siblings, just like all abusers, believe that if they can convince enough people that my identity is as they portray it in service to their self-interests, and can manipulate others into abusing me for them according to that false portrayal of my identity, then they can justify abusing me themselves. In other words, "I can manipulate others into perceiving you as thus; therefore, you are." My family members firmly believe that truth and reality are mere products of perception; therefore, by controlling other people's perception of reality, my family members believe that they can create the "reality" that best suits their purposes - they can control not only how others perceive and devalue me, but enhance how others perceive and assign value to them, as well.

I do not put any store in what my mother or siblings say about who I am - never have and never will since I know that there is no factual basis for any of it. My parents were accusing me of doing things before I was old enough to do those things or even know what they were talking about! The problem comes when others allow my family members to control how they perceive me, and allow themselves to be manipulated into abusing me, thereby becoming abusers themselves.

After 60 years of this nonsense, sometimes it just seems that it is never ever going to end - even when I die, I know that they will never stop abusing me - never stop defaming and discrediting me to others - never stop shoving my face in the dirt just so they can manipulate others into perceiving them as being of superior quality and value compared to me in order to validate their worthiness to exist! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........

Ah, well...this too shall pass, I guess. Thanks for the hugs, sea.

[lynn09]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

aahh Dear Lynn~!! i had to leave my family, go far away, and start a new life... it wasn't easy, it was incredibly lonely for a long time, but in the end,, it was well worth it,, i could never have done the healing work i needed in the environment where i was. i hope beyond hope that you find a way OUT ~! {{{{BIG HUGS}}}} Gus

Thanks, Gus. I did leave my family - for about 30 years - my family members, especially my siblings, had never expressed any interest in being in my life even when we were growing up. It wasn't until I became disabled in 1999 by a series of life-threatening allergic reactions that they suddenly "reappeared" in my life. During my 3rd reaction that year, my mother was having heart bypass surgery here in Texas. That's when my siblings realized that if she passed and I survived, 1/3 of her estate would come to me in Michigan beyond their reach and control. That's when they started "romancing" me - took them almost 2 years, but they finally convinced me to give them the benefit of the doubt that they actually cared about and wanted to help me - if I would move back to Texas so that it would be easier for my brother to help me find the specialists I needed, blahblahblah, lie, lie, lie.....

Of course, as soon as I arrived in Texas, the old abuse started all over again in earnest - their goal was to get control over my share of the inheritance in our mother's will by any means necessary and at any cost to me. It took them almost 6 years and they had to completely destroy my life, but they finally managed to get what they wanted - the only thing they ever cared about. But, in order to hang onto their "reward," they can never stop abusing me - they can't afford for anyone to learn the truth about or hold them accountable for what they've done - they have to keep defaming and discrediting me, and manipulating others into doing the same thing, in order to justify what they've done.

It is just very difficult for me to deal with all of this, to try to just live much less recoup any of what I have lost without appropriate medical care. Trying to do all that is required to survive this mess by myself without any help and without any medication for my Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD, ADHD/ADD, Chronic Pain, etc., due to my immune-system disorder is nearly impossible. I know what needs to be done - I have the intelligence, experience, and skills - but concentrating and focusing so I can do what needs to be done while simultaneously dealing with the distraction of all of my symptoms being triggered by trying to do it is frustration and agony to the Nth degree. Thanks to my siblings' illegal interference in my healthcare, I have lost a considerable portion of my disability and retirement benefits, so I don't have the money now to be able to move out of state - which is probably the only way I will ever be able to get medical care. I guess what really hurts the most is that all the pain, damage, and destruction that my siblings, et al, have inflicted on me was deliberate, intentional, premeditated. Without the slightest hint of conscience or remorse, they never intended to do me anything but harm.

At this point, there is only one way "OUT" for me - so I either take the "OUT," or I battle all of hell in order to live. Don't worry - I prefer the latter to the former - but, I'm already 60 y/o and 9 years of this level of abuse has taken its toll, and I don't know how much longer I can fight this battle alone.

Thanks for the BIG HUGS, Gus - they do help.

[lynn09]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I think you might have your 'Lynns' mixed....... unless Lynn09 is in the Q&A section and I don't know it lol. Not that I mind being confused with Lynn09 - who is gifted with words.

Thanks (((Viza))) and (((lynn P.))).

Viza, I don't mind being confused with lynn P. - it has happened before, and I always consider it a compliment. lynn09

[so_punk_rock]

I DONT HAVE THE BEST ADVICE BUT I DO HOPE YOU KEEP FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE. YOU MIGHT BE PHISICALLY ALONE BUT THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE THAT THINK ABOUT YOU AND WISH YOU THE BEST. I KNOW THAT FAMILY SOMETIMES ARE VERY DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR HEALTH, IVE THOUGHT THAT ABOUT MY OWN FOR A WHILE. I HOPE YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO SEPERATE YOURSELF FROM THEM, AGAIN. OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS DONT MATTER, ESPECIALLY IF THEY DONT KNOW YOU OR YOUR LIFE STORY. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, LYNN.

[lynn09]

Originally Posted by Rohag

((((((( Lynn09! )))))))

What's behind your words -- the whole of the situation or some new development (or non-development)?

Hello, Good Friend (((Rohag))). Pretty much the whole of the situation, plus some non-development. I haven't heard anything further from the SSA, so I don't know if they are actually going to investigate or not - perhaps they are waiting to see what, if anything, I manage to accomplish on my own. (HA!) Although it is helpful to know that the severity of my ADHD/ADD is a main contributor to the difficulties I'm having dealing with this mess, that knowledge alone does not stop the triggering of those symptoms, as well as my depression and PTSD symptoms, whenever I try to make some headway on this mess.

Right now I have to change to a new Medicare Advantage Plan so I can get an appointment with the immunologist I need to see. I will have to find a new Primary Care Physician (PCP), too, since I'm still getting the same dismissive, condescending, insulting, demeaning, accusatory attitude from my present PCP that I have gotten from the rest of the doctors here thanks to my siblings and the fact that they all share records electronically now. She has not made even the slightest effort to listen to me, or to help or advocate for me in any way whatsoever - she just keeps asking me if I use illegal drugs, and do I remember this and that, and phonetically sounding out "big words" for me - like "imm - u - no - lo - gist" - as if I have the IQ of an amoeba!!!!! I was a surgical assistant, providing pre and post-op patient care, and transcribing THOUSANDS of hours of medical reports, physicians' notes, surgery notes, histories and physicals, admission and discharge summaries, as well as manuscripts for publication in medical journals on an IBM Selectric long before there were computers to do the work, and long before my PCP was even born!!!!!

Nevertheless, just like all the rest of the doctors here, my current PCP has chosen to perceive and devalue me according to the false identity that my family members have created and portrayed to everyone - that being, "a demented, delusional lunatic, a neurotic hypochondriac, a pathological liar, a criminal, and an illegal drug user/addict!"

Sorry, Rohag - I guess I can only keep it all in for so long and then the dam bursts. Oh, well - back to it. Take good care, Rohag, and thanks for stopping by. lynn09

[lynn09]

Originally Posted by Landance

Hope you feel better soon. Don't believe what your mom tells you.

Thanks, Landance. I don't believe what my mother tells me; unfortunately, many other people have chosen to believe what she and my abusive siblings tell them about me instead of seeking out the truth for themselves. The destructive power of petty, malicious gossip.

Thanks for your well-wishes. lynn09

[lynn09]

Originally Posted by Cherrios

You are MAGNIFICENT! I am so SORRY that someone, so close to you, could be SO MEAN! I know this might sound like it is IMPOSSIBLE because you have such a BIG heart, but you have to NOT CARE what your family says. I know this makes it harder than just not listening, but it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE! Sending strength your way!

Awwww - thanks, Cherrios - you're so sweet. I could fill a book with the hateful, demeaning, degrading things she and the rest of my family members have said to me over the past 60 years. Actually, I don't care what they say to me because I know that their hateful words reveal who they truly are, and nothing about who I am. As I've said in other replies here, the problem comes when others choose to judge, condemn, and abuse me because they choose to believe the horrible lies my family members tell them about me. Even though I have had no communication with any of my familly members since early 2007 (and never will again unless it's in a court of law), I am still being abused by others my family members deceived and manipulated into judging and condemning me (other relatives, life-long family friends and acquaintances, my childhood friends and classmates, and my own healthcare providers I started seeing when I moved back to my hometown in 2001).

I have never been close to my family members - they have always abused me, so I never bonded with any of them. I made the mistake 9 years ago of giving them one more chance to be the kind and caring people they spent almost 2 years convincing me they had become. Instead, they have used this one last chance to completely destroy my life for their own personal pleasure and financial profit. I am having to fight for my own identity against the false identity my family has created and imposed on me to serve their self-interests. And it is those who have chosen to believe the lies and abuse me according to those lies that have given my abusive family members the power to destroy my life - those who have allowed my abusive family members to control their perception of reality - those who have willingly allowed themselves to be used as instruments by my family to inflict abuse on me, thereby becoming abusers themselves.

Thanks for the strength and good thoughts you are sending my way - I promise to make good use of them. lynn09

[lynn09]

Originally Posted by so_punk_rock

I DONT HAVE THE BEST ADVICE BUT I DO HOPE YOU KEEP FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE. YOU MIGHT BE PHISICALLY ALONE BUT THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE THAT THINK ABOUT YOU AND WISH YOU THE BEST. I KNOW THAT FAMILY SOMETIMES ARE VERY DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR HEALTH, IVE THOUGHT THAT ABOUT MY OWN FOR A WHILE. I HOPE YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO SEPERATE YOURSELF FROM THEM, AGAIN. OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS DONT MATTER, ESPECIALLY IF THEY DONT KNOW YOU OR YOUR LIFE STORY. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, LYNN.

Hi, so_punk-rock! Thanks for stopping by - I'm glad to see that you're feeling at least a little better - enough to be out and about.

I agree - family (especially abusive ones) can be extremely detrimental to your health! I like that saying, "Friends are God's way of apologizing for your family!"

I guess the real fight we all struggle with is identity and reality - how we choose to define and perceive ourselves - who we choose to be versus how others choose to define, perceive, and portray us to others to serve their own purposes whether good or bad.

Thanks for being a Friend, spr, and for choosing to perceive my identity in a positive light. lynn09

[lynn09]

Okay, Friends – this is my final rant on this subject (for now) – and then I'll shut up about it and just get on with it...

My older brother and sister were taught to view me as worthless, of no value, nothing by our abusive parents - as property to be used and abused according to their whims and sick wills. All these years later, my brother still says to me, "You're nothing. You're nobody. You don't have any rights;" and, "We're doing you a favor by even associating with you at all;" and, "You don't deserve to be treated with the same respect and consideration as normal, decent people do." They have and never will change these attitudes because they derive justification for abusing me from those attitudes, and a tremendous sense of superiority to validate their worthiness to exist; and by manipulating others into devaluing me according to my family's deprecating portrayal of my identity, they enhance how others perceive and assign value to them in comparison to my abject worthlessness.

My brother has told me on several occasions, "I'll believe anything that anyone says about you before I'll believe anything you say." These are the very same words that our parents said to me throughout my childhood, and even throughout my adulthood - my abusive siblings were apt students of two Master Abusers. What absolutely amazes me is that my brother, as our parents before him, truly believes this pronouncement is "proof" of the diminished quality of my character even though he is clearly expressing his willingness to give others the power to control his perception of reality - his willingness to embrace the non-life of a puppet by submitting to the whims and wills of others in order to garner their acceptance and approval, and to thoroughly delude himself into believing that truth and reality are mere products of perception!

I don't put any store in their opinions of me - never have, never will since I know that they are not based in fact; unfortunately, others have and still do, since my family members are quite adept at masquerading in their false public personae as kind, caring, honest, respectable, pillars of the community - deceiving and manipulating others into abusing me for them - into punishing me for crimes I have not committed. Once others have been manipulated into allowing themselves to be used by my abusive family members as instruments to inflict pain and damage on me, more often than not they will further defame and discredit me themselves just to protect their own egos and reputations, reluctant to admit that they could be so easily fooled, taken advantage of, and USED by my family.

This is what my family members have been doing in earnest for the past 9 years since I moved back to my home state from up north. They have been feeding false information regarding my personal and medical histories to my new healthcare providers WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE AND CONSENT in order to control and direct my healthcare to suit my family's purposes - especially to suit my siblings' purposes. They were determined to coerce our mother into changing her will to give them control over my share of the inheritance because they could not tolerate the thought of me, the unworthy, being assigned value equal to their own. I knew nothing of their illegal interference in my healthcare for almost 6 years because my healthcare providers did not inform me of it as they are legally obligated to do.

As a direct result of my siblings' defamation campaign and interference in my healthcare, I have lost in excess of $100K in disability and retirement benefits, have been deprived of access to appropriate medical care, access to transportation and any other assistance, and completely socially ostracized and isolated - but, my siblings were finally able to get what they wanted - control over my share of the inheritance by any means necessary and at any cost to me. Once my healthcare providers realized that they had jeopardized their own reputations and careers by compromising their ethics, betraying my trust, and violating my rights, they chose to conceal their and their staff members' incompetence and misconduct at my expense by further defaming and discrediting me to everyone - so I have been essentially "black-listed" by the local medical community.

I will most likely never receive appropriate medical treatment for anything unless I leave the state or am able to build the legal case against them all myself in order to “clear my name” - apparently, it's just too complicated and there just is not enough money involved to interest the attorneys I've contacted thus far (“That's terrible – that's horrible – good luck with that!”) I just had my SSA Disability Review and updated them on my situation - they were already aware of it from my 2003 Review. I asked them to please initiate an investigation, and they wrote back that they had decided that they did not need to review my case at the present time, but were keeping the information I sent them - but I haven't heard anything more from them so I don't know if they are going to investigate or if they are waiting to see what I am able to accomplish on my own.

Although I have been criticized by some here for mentioning my diagnoses (), I am going to mention them here anyway since they are germane to the issue. I have Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD, ADHD/ADD, Chronic Pain Disorder, and a number of other chronic medical conditions, including a "still-undiagnosed" immune-system disorder which prevents me from taking medications to help me deal with the other disorders. (It has just occurred to me, too, that having to take massive doses of antihistamines daily (400mg Benadryl and 300mg ranitidine) to suppress my immune system is probably really exacerbating my ADHD/ADD symptoms!)

I have been hanging on to the edge of the abyss by my fingernails since 2001, and every time I try to work on this mess, the MDD, PTSD, ADHD/ADD symptoms are triggered and I am thrown in and pinned to the bottom of the pit - overwhelmed and paralyzed by the hurt, anger, frustration, outrage, damage, destruction, injustice, and, most of all, the sorrow, grief, and sense of unfathomable loss. I'm 60 y/o - I am in the last years of my life, and these people have deliberately and intentionally made these past 9 of the few precious years that I have remaining an absolute living hell for me for their own personal amusement, image enhancement, and financial gain. This is all just a big game to them, especially to my brother – just a big power struggle and popularity contest; i.e., “People like us better than you;” and “I can convince just about anybody of just about anything.” Frightening, but true apparently.

Although I am still breathing and walking about, I have no presence and no voice! What my abusers have done is far worse than character assassination - it is identity annihilation - in essence, they have committed identity murder - have done everything in their power to make me the "nothing," the "thing of no value whatsoever" they have always defined me as being. As all abusers do, they chose the victim who is least able to defend herself - who does not possess the social, political, or financial clout to fight back, and they honestly believe that this is verification of their superior quality and value. They stand atop those who are less fortunate in order to elevate themselves, forcibly imposing their sick wills on those who can't fight back to keep them underfoot where they belong. They create the false impression of being honorable, caring, respectable, and generous people without actually helping anyone too much – just enough to be able to brag about to others.

The thing is, my abusive family members did not possess the POWER to destroy my life and inflict this damage on me until others gave it to them - until my new healthcare providers gave my abusers that which was NOT theirs to give, and that which my abusers are NOT worthy or authorized to possess and wield! My healthcare providers - the ones that I, as any other patient, should have been able to trust to respect and protect my rights and confidential personal and medical information, to act in my best interest, and to advocate for my welfare - handed my abusers the POWER to destroy my life on a silver platter when they chose to judge and condemn me - when they chose to become a lynch mob - based NOT on my medical records or their own clinical evaluations, but on nothing more than the petty, malicious gossip manufactured and spread about by my petty, malicious, abusive family members! And these supposedly upstanding, compassionate, intelligent, educated, principled, competent, experienced, accomplished, respected, ethical, medical "professionals" have willingly sacrificed me and left me to deal with the consequences of their misconduct in order to protect their careers, egos, social status, and bank accounts, the value of which they have deemed as far exceeding the inconsequential life of one of their own patients - MY ONE AND ONLY LIFE!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............

Okay – that's it. I feel a little better now. Thanks for listening. lynn09

[DancingAlone]

ohhhh dear lynn, i had no idea the depths of their treatment of you!!! the words that come to mind? L-A-W S-U-I-T!!!!!! even tho you say you can't afford a lawyer right now, after you get re-instated as far as your benefits, DO THIS my dear. at least your suggestion of obtaining a restraining order for now is an excellent idea.

i have already written you about reporting your sister to the Massachusetts Nursing Board, and writing an Affidavit signed by a health care professional, notarized, stating you are of sound mind, and a Last Will and Testament that clearlly states "I, -----, of said State and County, being of sound and disposing mind and memory, do make this my Last Will and Testament...."

...so they can't touch you legally as far as your inheritance, but the following...that's going beyond waaay too far.

"I will have to find a new Primary Care Physician (PCP), too, since I'm still getting the same dismissive, condescending, insulting, demeaning, accusatory attitude from my present PCP that I have gotten from the rest of the doctors here thanks to my siblings and the fact that they all share records electronically now."

"They have been feeding false information regarding my personal and medical histories to my new healthcare providers WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE AND CONSENT in order to control and direct my healthcare to suit my family's purposes - especially to suit my siblings' purposes."

from my understanding, NO ONE can have access to your medical records unless you sign a consent form with their names on it. if you did include them, have it changed immediately! and here's a site stating HiPAA laws (that protect patient confidentiality):
http://betterhealthcaremanagement.co...IPAA_Resources.
they are very explicit about protecting the rights of patients, and broken confidentiality is AGAINST THE LAW. another word comes to mind...MALPRACTICE.

now the money issue. you know what my SIL and bro**** tried to do to me. they spent over $5,000 trying to get me away from this property, even tried to get me to sign a LEASE!!! they want money so bad they can taste it! these people go over the edge with their total greed controlling their every move and intent. i still don't understand why my bit** SIL didn't think of proving mental incompetency, but i'm sure it was an oversight.

finally, i really really feel for you my dear. i am and always will be praying for you. and am here to listen, to support, and will if you need me to write a letter of fact stating how intelligent, competent and clear-minded you are. depression and ADHD, PTSD doesn't render you stupid or senile. stay strong my friend.

all my support and love,

Don’t give up:

[lynn09]

Thanks, (((((DancingAlone))))).

Let me clarify a couple of things:

I am still receiving my Social Security Disability benefits; the SSA has NEVER questioned my disability, nor the fact that my disability is both physical and psychological. In fact, at the time I was required by my former employer's long-term disability insurance carrier, 1st UNUM/Provident, I had no primary care physician because my employer's new medical insurance carrier, Empire BC/BS of New York, had not contracted with any medical doctors or facilities in the area where I lived. So, the SSA awarded my disability based solely on my medical records - 30 years worth of medical records that they requested and received directly from my healthcare providers because I gave the SSA access to ALL of my records dating back to the 1970s when I had my back surgeries since that has contributed to my disability even though I worked for over 30 years before becoming disabled. Furthermore, based on my medical records, the SSA awarded my disability on the first submission!! The SSA caseworker called me and said that my medical records had been reviewed by just about every specialist on the review board and that they all had only one question: "How did you manage to work full-time for over 30 years with your medical conditions?" I responded, "Because I wanted to work; I wanted to have as normal a life as I could possibly manage despite my medical conditions and have the opportunity to find out what I was capable of achieving."

The SSA has been waiting since 1999 for my doctors to give my immune-system disorder a name so they can assign it a code so it can be listed in my primary disability diagnosis. They have also been waiting for my doctors to evaluate my other chronic medical conditions to determine to what extent they contribute to my disability, as well. THIS is what my siblings have worked so hard to prevent. They do NOT want my medical conditions evaluated, diagnosed, or treated - they do NOT want my disabling medical conditions substantiated because they want to convince everyone that all of these conditions that my doctors have treated throughout my life and all of the surgeries I have had over the decades are all "delusions" and "hallucinations" asserting that I have been fooling ALL of my doctors my entire life, and somehow causing them to see in lab results and on x-rays, MRIs, etc., things that really didn't exist - even tricking them into doing surgeries on me for non-existent conditions!!!!!! My siblings have even accused me of defrauding all of my doctors, employers, medical and disability insurance carriers, the IRS, SSA, and Medicare, and accuse me of "tricking" the SSA into awarding me disability, and assert that I "chose to be disabled." (Right - I "chose" to live in abject poverty for the rest of my life! )

What I lost as a result of my siblings' illegal interference in my healthcare was approximately $90,000 (just under $500/month after I started receiving SSD benefits) in long-term disability insurance benefits through my employer's carrier. In fact, I lost those benefits twice - when the carrier illegally terminated them in 2001, and again in 2006 when I was dropped from the class-action suit that had been brought against that carrier for illegally terminating my and so many other eligble beneficiaries' benefits. I informed my new doctors here of the lawsuit, but they never informed me that my family members were illegally directing and controlling my healthcare without my knowledge and consent - nor did my doctors inform me that they deliberately made certain that I lost out on recouping any portion of those benefits from the settlement because my family members had convinced them that I was a "demented, delusional lunatic," "pathological liar," "criminal," and "drug addict." That $90K is lost to me forever - there is no legal recourse available to me. This left me with only SSD as income - just a little over $1,000 per month at the time - just over the income limits to qualify for Medicaid, food stamps, assistance with utilities, housing, or anything else; so, I had to pay full price for everything. My brother's solution for my dire financial situation (that he and my sister deliberately created) was, "Put on some makeup, dye your hair, find someone to date, and get a job!" The other $30K that I lost later on was because I had to take early distribution of my retirement benefits in order to survive forcing me to forfeit about 1/2 of that fund.

As for my doctors here allowing my siblings to interfere in my healthcare and giving them access to my confidential personal and medical information - I NEVER signed any authorization or release of any kind whatsoever that would permit my doctors and/or their staff members to do such a thing! When I first moved back here from up north, I wrote an emergency contact designation letter TO MY APARTMENT MANAGEMENT that authorized my apartment management to give my siblings access to my apartment, pets, vehicle, and personal property ONLY IN THE EVENT THAT I WAS HOSPITALIZED, UNCONSCIOUS, AND COMPLETELY INCAPACITATED. At no time since I have lived here have those 3 criteria been fulfilled; therefore, those authorizations were NEVER legally executable. Anyway, as soon as I learned that my brother had lied to me to TRICK ME into moving back here so he could coerce me into signing my Power of Attorney over to him in exchange for access to medical care, I revoked his authorization (2002); and as soon as I found out that my sister had been a part of this "crazy-making" scheme all along, I revoked her's, as well.

But, unbeknownst to me, my siblings used those apartment management emergency contact letters to misrepresent themselves to my healthcare providers as possessing my Power of Attorney!!! ANYONE capable of reading at an elementary-school level could see that those letters did not authorize my siblings to do anything at all with regard to my healthcare. They have NEVER been authorized to participate in my healthcare in any way whatsoever, nor to have access to my confidential personal and medical information!!!

These healthcare providers and their staff members here allowed my abusive family members to manipulate them into becoming abusers themselves - and, now, the only way that they can protect their reputations and careers is by defaming and discrediting me and destroying my life - the very thing that my abusers wanted them to do. It's perfectly obvious to me, too, that the rest of the doctors in the local medical community intend to protect the reputations and careers of their colleagues at my expense, as well. The thing that hurts the worst is that all of the pain and damage that my family members and these healthcare providers have inflicted on me is deliberate, intentional, pre-meditated - none of them ever intended to do me anything but harm.

Thanks for your input, links, prayers, and support, DancingAlone - I need all the help I can get if I'm going to survive this. lynn09

[DancingAlone]

lynn09 says (in blue):

The SSA has been waiting since 1999 for my doctors to give my immune-system disorder a name so they can assign it a code so it can be listed in my primary disability diagnosis. They have also been waiting for my doctors to evaluate my other chronic medical conditions to determine to what extent they contribute to my disability, as well. THIS is what my siblings have worked so hard to prevent. They do NOT want my medical conditions evaluated, diagnosed, or treated - they do NOT want my disabling medical conditions substantiated because they want to convince everyone that all of these conditions that my doctors have treated throughout my life and all of the surgeries I have had over the decades are all "delusions" and "hallucinations" asserting that I have been fooling ALL of my doctors my entire life, and somehow causing them to see in lab results and on x-rays, MRIs, etc., things that really didn't exist - even tricking them into doing surgeries on me for non-existent conditions!!!!!!

Lynn, here's the web site for Immune System Disorders (SSA Disability Evaluation Section):

http://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/14.00-Immune-Adult.htm

for other physical disorders, go to:
http://www.socialsecurity.gov/disabi...ltListings.htm

and choose the correct one.

DISCLAIMER (meaning i am really searching my brain to remember this one!): there is also something called the ICD-9 which are diagnostic codes for all illnesses as well. the above are the SSA's codes they use in determining disability. the ICD-9 codes are the one's used by medical practitioners. they also will be on the doctor's printout after they tested you originally, they HAVE to enter a code to be reimbursed by the insurance company. you can request a printout of your diagnoses from your doctor with the codes on it. it's not your medical record, is usually a 1-page document (if they keep their patient files in a computer?).
http://www.ehow.com/about_6586074_de...d_9-code_.html

What I lost as a result of my siblings' illegal interference in my healthcare was approximately $90,000 (just under $500/month after I started receiving SSD benefits) in long-term disability insurance benefits through my employer's carrier. In fact, I lost those benefits twice - when the carrier illegally terminated them in 2001, and again in 2006 when I was dropped from the class-action suit that had been brought against that carrier for illegally terminating my and so many other eligble beneficiaries' benefits. I informed my new doctors here of the lawsuit, but they never informed me that my family members were illegally directing and controlling my healthcare without my knowledge and consent - nor did my doctors inform me that they deliberately made certain that I lost out on recouping any portion of those benefits from the settlement because my family members had convinced them that I was a "demented, delusional lunatic," "pathological liar," "criminal," and "drug addict." That $90K is lost to me forever - there is no legal recourse available to me. This left me with only SSD as income - just a little over $1,000 per month at the time - just over the income limits to qualify for Medicaid, food stamps, assistance with utilities, housing, or anything else; so, I had to pay full price for everything. My brother's solution for my dire financial situation (that he and my sister deliberately created) was, "Put on some makeup, dye your hair, find someone to date, and get a job!" The other $30K that I lost later on was because I had to take early distribution of my retirement benefits in order to survive forcing me to forfeit about 1/2 of that fund.

As far as the lawsuit, all lawyers are online now. Could you go to their website and write the lawyers in the class action suit and at least challenge why your were dropped from it? And also explain your family's interference with your medical care and being instrumental in trying to defame you and preventing you from receiving these benefits? Those doctor's also need to be reported to the Medical Board. Oh this is so awful Lynn.

As for my doctors here allowing my siblings to interfere in my healthcare and giving them access to my confidential personal and medical information - I NEVER signed any authorization or release of any kind whatsoever that would permit my doctors and/or their staff members to do such a thing! When I first moved back here from up north, I wrote an emergency contact designation letter TO MY APARTMENT MANAGEMENT that authorized my apartment management to give my siblings access to my apartment, pets, vehicle, and personal property ONLY IN THE EVENT THAT I WAS HOSPITALIZED, UNCONSCIOUS, AND COMPLETELY INCAPACITATED. At no time since I have lived here have those 3 criteria been fulfilled; therefore, those authorizations were NEVER legally executable. Anyway, as soon as I learned that my brother had lied to me to TRICK ME into moving back here so he could coerce me into signing my Power of Attorney over to him in exchange for access to medical care, I revoked his authorization (2002); and as soon as I found out that my sister had been a part of this "crazy-making" scheme all along, I revoked her's, as well.

did you go to this site Lynn?
http://www.caringinfo.org/userfiles/File/Texas.pdf
when you have a durable power of attorney and living will in place, they can't touch you. Those forms are very specific and don't leave any room for misinterpretation or misrepresentation. A copy goes to your doctor as well. I even keep one in my car in case i am incapacitated in a wreck. I don't want my family anywhere near me except sis. The others are like circling vultures waiting to fly in to pick over the remains. They also appoint my neighbor as my guardian, beneficiary, and power of attorney. And, separate document, my Last Will and Testament pretty much says who doesn't get what and why not.


They have NEVER been authorized to participate in my healthcare in any way whatsoever, nor to have access to my confidential personal and medical information!!!

These healthcare providers and their staff members here allowed my abusive family members to manipulate them into becoming abusers themselves - and, now, the only way that they can protect their reputations and careers is by defaming and discrediting me and destroying my life - the very thing that my abusers wanted them to do. It's perfectly obvious to me, too, that the rest of the doctors in the local medical community intend to protect the reputations and careers of their colleagues at my expense, as well. The thing that hurts the worst is that all of the pain and damage that my family members and these healthcare providers have inflicted on me is deliberate, intentional, pre-meditated - none of them ever intended to do me anything but harm.

Personally? i would call everyone of the danm doctors and demand proof in writing why they thought they had a legal right to allow your family privy to your personal information. ohhhh i would be livid!!! You can also write to the State Medical Board that oversees the licenses of these so-called practitioners and report them. HIPAA laws are very strict Lynn and it's against the law to violate your confidentiality. At work, at every staff meeting, we are reminded: don't discuss your clients' diagnoses, you can be sued. They tell us that over and over.

Thanks for your input, links, prayers, and support, DancingAlone - I need all the help I can get if I'm going to survive this. lynn09

i'm here my friend. i wish i was a lawyer, i'd help you in a heartbeat. but am holding your hand, saying prayers. take care Lynn.

[madisgram]

lynn will pass on to you what my T suggested to me re my hurtful family...how do you stay healthy in an unhealthy "relationship"?-emotional distance and in my case i do miles as well. it's not your fault. they are unhealthy, not you, imho.

[lynn09]

Hi, DancingAlone! My latest responses are embedded in pink.

Originally Posted by DancingAlone

lynn09 says (in blue):

The SSA has been waiting since 1999 for my doctors to give my immune-system disorder a name so they can assign it a code so it can be listed in my primary disability diagnosis. They have also been waiting for my doctors to evaluate my other chronic medical conditions to determine to what extent they contribute to my disability, as well. THIS is what my siblings have worked so hard to prevent. They do NOT want my medical conditions evaluated, diagnosed, or treated - they do NOT want my disabling medical conditions substantiated because they want to convince everyone that all of these conditions that my doctors have treated throughout my life and all of the surgeries I have had over the decades are all "delusions" and "hallucinations" asserting that I have been fooling ALL of my doctors my entire life, and somehow causing them to see in lab results and on x-rays, MRIs, etc., things that really didn't exist - even tricking them into doing surgeries on me for non-existent conditions!!!!!!

Lynn, here's the web site for Immune System Disorders (SSA Disability Evaluation Section):

http://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/14.00-Immune-Adult.htm

for other physical disorders, go to:
http://www.socialsecurity.gov/disabi...ltListings.htm

and choose the correct one.

DISCLAIMER (meaning i am really searching my brain to remember this one!): there is also something called the ICD-9 which are diagnostic codes for all illnesses as well. the above are the SSA's codes they use in determining disability. the ICD-9 codes are the one's used by medical practitioners. they also will be on the doctor's printout after they tested you originally, they HAVE to enter a code to be reimbursed by the insurance company. you can request a printout of your diagnoses from your doctor with the codes on it. it's not your medical record, is usually a 1-page document (if they keep their patient files in a computer?).
http://www.ehow.com/about_6586074_de...d_9-code_.html

The testing has never been done. I was diagnosed with Stevens-Johnson Syndrome up north (those 3 major allergic reactions in 1999, plus numerous other allergic reactions since 1969). My doctors up north wanted to start the testing, but I had no insurance. I had to pay $300/month beginning in September 1999 to COBRA my medical insurance; but the carrier wouldn't contract with any medical doctors or facilities in my area because they knew I had a chronic immune-system disorder and they didn't want to pay benefits. I finally had to drop my insurance in January of 2000 because I could not afford to pay $300/month to be denied access to medical care by my insurance company. I then qualified to be treated at a reduced fee at the county hospital and finally had medical doctors again. But I was not eligible for Medicare until November of 2001, so from January 2000-November 2001, I had no medical insurance coverage at all. This is when my brother offered his assistance if I would move back to Texas. My immunologist told me that the doctors down here needed to start that testing immediately after I moved to find out what the underlying immune-system disorder was that was causing the repeated SJS reactions.

This testing is what my family members have prevented from happening - this is why my brother and sister wanted me to move back here so they could make certain that that testing was NEVER done. In 2002, my PCP/internist referred me to a huge specialty medical center in a nearby city for testing, but I had no way to get there. I begged for over a year, but my family refused to drive me there knowing full well that I could not make that drive by myself, and no one else here would even speak to me because of the lies my family had told them, so I was stuck. I do not qualify to use Handitran because I am under the age of 65 and my disability doesn't specifically prohibit me from driving - and I certainly could not afford to pay $200+ to take a cab there and back. A few years later, I asked my brother why he wouldn't help me get to that medical center, and he replied, "WE decided that it probably wouldn't be worth our time and money." That must have been the "royal" WE because I most certainly was not involved in making THAT decision. As for the "money," I guess he meant for gas because I had already refused to sign my Power of Attorney over to him in exchange for a ride or assistance with the co-pays.

In late-2004, my PCP/internist finally referred me to another specialist here in town. He diagnosed "Chronic SJS" and wanted to start running a huge battery of tests. He knew that I was waiting for the settlement from the class-action suit against UNUM that had just been filed so that I could afford the co-pays on the tests. My brother contacted that specialist immediately following my appointment with without my knowledge or consent and fed him the same batch of lies he, my sister, and my mother had been spreading about.

I did not find out until June of 2006 that that specialist had turned around and reported to my PCP/internist, UNUM, and everybody else that my chronic medical conditions "may be psychiatric in origin." He made no mention of the chronic SJS, nor of his instructions to me to continue with the high-antihistamine-dosage regimen prescribed by my doctors up north and to strictly restrict my exposure to heat and light. I had requested a copy of that specialist's report again and again, but his staff never sent it to me. I never saw his report until June of 2006. When my internist called him and asked why there were so many discrepancies between what he told me and what he reported to my PCP/internist and everyone else, the specialist replied, "She was talking fast during the exam." He had also told my PCP/internist and some other doctors that, "She's uncooperative, unresponsive, and dragging her feet" because I had to save up the money to pay for the tests he wanted performed.

My brother had told me that he would help me with the cost of the co-pays, but only if I signed my Power of Attorney over to him and gave him unfettered control over my healthcare and life - his terms were unwarranted and unacceptable, so I refused. A few days after that June 2006 appointment with my PCP/internist, I received the letter telling me that I was dropped from the class-action suit and would not receive any portion of the settlement. That specialist's billing clerk also reported me to the SSA and Medicare as a "criminal" because she input my SS# into her computer program incorrectly and couldn't be bothered to pull my chart and look at the copy of my Medicare card.

Furthermore, my PCP/internist still had not requested my medical records from up north. I gave him the list and signed releases in June of 2002, October of 2004, and June of 2006. At no time did he or his staff ever inform me of any difficulties getting my records - by the time they requested and received them, it was too late - that $90k in long-term disability benefits was lost. Once he received my records, his staff informed me that I could not see or speak to him until my account balance was paid off. Without my LT benefits, it took a while. I called in every month to make a payment when I received my SSD check. On October 9, 2008, I called his office to make the final $20 payment and found out that he had committed suicide just 3 days before.

None of the doctors here that I saw prior to my current PCP will communicate with me. I have requested copies of my records, as well as copies of any Michigan records they have (only 2 ever requested them), and copies or a summary of whatever verbal and/or written information regarding me has been provided to them by my family and/or any other individual/entity. I've received some of my records, the copies they sent me of my Michigan records do not match up with what my Michigan providers have recorded as having been requested by and provided to these 2 doctors and are in no way representative of 20 years-worth of records; and, of course, they have refused to tell me what information that was provided to them by my family members and what information they provided to my familiy members. They have also refused to provide me with a printout of my SSD diagnoses and codes. Basically, since I arrived here in 2001, my rights have been completely suspended and I have not been permitted to know anything about my own healthcare.

What I lost as a result of my siblings' illegal interference in my healthcare was approximately $90,000 (just under $500/month after I started receiving SSD benefits) in long-term disability insurance benefits through my employer's carrier. In fact, I lost those benefits twice - when the carrier illegally terminated them in 2001, and again in 2006 when I was dropped from the class-action suit that had been brought against that carrier for illegally terminating my and so many other eligble beneficiaries' benefits. I informed my new doctors here of the lawsuit, but they never informed me that my family members were illegally directing and controlling my healthcare without my knowledge and consent - nor did my doctors inform me that they deliberately made certain that I lost out on recouping any portion of those benefits from the settlement because my family members had convinced them that I was a "demented, delusional lunatic," "pathological liar," "criminal," and "drug addict." That $90K is lost to me forever - there is no legal recourse available to me. This left me with only SSD as income - just a little over $1,000 per month at the time - just over the income limits to qualify for Medicaid, food stamps, assistance with utilities, housing, or anything else; so, I had to pay full price for everything. My brother's solution for my dire financial situation (that he and my sister deliberately created) was, "Put on some makeup, dye your hair, find someone to date, and get a job!" The other $30K that I lost later on was because I had to take early distribution of my retirement benefits in order to survive forcing me to forfeit about 1/2 of that fund.

As far as the lawsuit, all lawyers are online now. Could you go to their website and write the lawyers in the class action suit and at least challenge why your were dropped from it? And also explain your family's interference with your medical care and being instrumental in trying to defame you and preventing you from receiving these benefits? Those doctor's also need to be reported to the Medical Board. Oh this is so awful Lynn. There is no challenge - to be part of that class-action suit, I had to sign a document that stated that I would abide by the court-ordered review decision.

I made the mistake of trusting my doctors and their staff members to respect and protect my rights and confidential personal and medical information, to do their jobs and advise me of any difficulties they encountered doing their jobs, to direct their questions to and discuss their concerns with me directly, to advise me of any apparent discrepancies between information I provided to them, information contained in my medical records, and information they received from any other source so that I could make certain that my medical records were accurate and complete as provided under HIPAA regulations, and to adhere to the highest standards of professional and ethical conduct. I will NEVER make this mistake again.

As for my doctors here allowing my siblings to interfere in my healthcare and giving them access to my confidential personal and medical information - I NEVER signed any authorization or release of any kind whatsoever that would permit my doctors and/or their staff members to do such a thing! When I first moved back here from up north, I wrote an emergency contact designation letter TO MY APARTMENT MANAGEMENT that authorized my apartment management to give my siblings access to my apartment, pets, vehicle, and personal property ONLY IN THE EVENT THAT I WAS HOSPITALIZED, UNCONSCIOUS, AND COMPLETELY INCAPACITATED. At no time since I have lived here have those 3 criteria been fulfilled; therefore, those authorizations were NEVER legally executable. Anyway, as soon as I learned that my brother had lied to me to TRICK ME into moving back here so he could coerce me into signing my Power of Attorney over to him in exchange for access to medical care, I revoked his authorization (2002); and as soon as I found out that my sister had been a part of this "crazy-making" scheme all along, I revoked her's, as well.

did you go to this site Lynn? Yes - thanks!
http://www.caringinfo.org/userfiles/File/Texas.pdf
when you have a durable power of attorney and living will in place, they can't touch you. Those forms are very specific and don't leave any room for misinterpretation or misrepresentation. A copy goes to your doctor as well. I even keep one in my car in case i am incapacitated in a wreck. I don't want my family anywhere near me except sis. The others are like circling vultures waiting to fly in to pick over the remains. They also appoint my neighbor as my guardian, beneficiary, and power of attorney. And, separate document, my Last Will and Testament pretty much says who doesn't get what and why not.

I have those covered, but as things stand now my family can still challenge them. That's why I want to get a permanent restraining order against them because that process will reveal the truth about the entire situation to everyone.


They have NEVER been authorized to participate in my healthcare in any way whatsoever, nor to have access to my confidential personal and medical information!!!

These healthcare providers and their staff members here allowed my abusive family members to manipulate them into becoming abusers themselves - and, now, the only way that they can protect their reputations and careers is by defaming and discrediting me and destroying my life - the very thing that my abusers wanted them to do. It's perfectly obvious to me, too, that the rest of the doctors in the local medical community intend to protect the reputations and careers of their colleagues at my expense, as well. The thing that hurts the worst is that all of the pain and damage that my family members and these healthcare providers have inflicted on me is deliberate, intentional, pre-meditated - none of them ever intended to do me anything but harm.

Personally? i would call everyone of the danm doctors and demand proof in writing why they thought they had a legal right to allow your family privy to your personal information. ohhhh i would be livid!!! You can also write to the State Medical Board that oversees the licenses of these so-called practitioners and report them. HIPAA laws are very strict Lynn and it's against the law to violate your confidentiality. At work, at every staff meeting, we are reminded: don't discuss your clients' diagnoses, you can be sued. They tell us that over and over.

I did that in early-2007 after I found out what my family had been up to; like I said, those doctors refuse to communicate with me. I didn't want to go after the doctors and ruin their reputations and careers because I know that they have been victimized by my deceitful, manipulative, abusive family members just as I have. But, since they all have been concealing their misconduct and protecting their reputations and careers at my expense all this time even knowing since at least 2007 that my family's activities were illegal and none of them have done anything to rectify the situation, I'm done. My compassion for them is all used up.

Thanks for your input, links, prayers, and support, DancingAlone - I need all the help I can get if I'm going to survive this. lynn09

i'm here my friend. i wish i was a lawyer, i'd help you in a heartbeat. but am holding your hand, saying prayers. take care Lynn.

[DancingAlone]

A NOTE: to those reading this post and my previous responses in this thread. i am being blunt, outspoken and direct about laws, rules and regulations, etc. to help protect my friend lynn09 and help her try and regain her sense of freedom and right to fair medical treatment. i'm not a lawyer, but i know how to use the internet and the forms, laws, policies etc. are all out there to protect our rights as patients.

ohhh i am praying for you my friend. this is just way too much you have had to deal with. in further research, here is a bit about a couple of nurses in Texas who were sentenced to jail time...hint: DA also stands for District Attorney, and don't they operate for free?

[because the two nurses worked for a county hospital - and included medical record numbers of the patients in their letter to the TMB in April - the county attorney's office indicted them on "misuse of official information" - a third-degree felony that carries potential penalties of 2-10 years' imprisonment and a maximum fine of $10,000. Additionally, the prosecution asserts the nurses used patient records as part of the evidence they offered to the TMB to "harass or annoy"]

i know so much damage has already been done, but people rebuild after the greatest of disasters, with little or nothing. you have "right" on your side my dear.

as far as the dementia claims by them, you have the definition now, and heresay from unqualified sources is NOT enough to prove it. your cognitive skills are superb and your family members are standing on quicksand. i'm really mad and appalled at the doctors that bought this diagnosis without properly testing you and giving you a chance to prove them wrong.

and please don't forget that your will, which states "being of sound mind" can be witnessed by your BANK. that's who notarized and witnessed mine. nobody asked for any medical proof at all.

as far as not going after the doctors? they are as culpable as your siblings Lynn. and now they're using the old medical CYB method of getting out of sticky and illegal situations..."Cover Your Butt". it's rampant in the medical field. one reason i hated nursing was because of the incredible amount of charting so if anybody sued, the documentation would be accurate. and i saw a LOT of questionable treatment of patients by doctors and learned to distrust them as well. i wouldn't have any qualms at all about holding them accountable.

also, as far as transportation to another city for testing? when i was hospitalized in March (psychiatric) and was taken by ambulance over 200 miles away (room availability), Medicare actually did pay for most of it. the rest? i worked out a payment plan of only $10 a month to pay them off. but i would check first. i was told Medicare wouldn't pay, but they did.

ohhh family can be so incredibly cruel, evil, and very scary.

rest well Lynn, post when you can.

[DancingAlone]

am just home from working 12 hrs. last night, then to sleep, then 12 hrs. tonight fill-in. but in one of my inservice's for work, these words came up: libel, invasion of privacy, malpractice and misconduct, and slander. the heading for these words is "Legal Terms".will post more when i come up for air friday night. take care lynn, stay strong.