HELP-I CAN'T GET IN THE SHOWER

HI
This is my first post since joining this forum. I am on antidepressants for the
depressive part of my bipolar. I have been up and down in the levels of my depression
and anxiety for 3 months now. I am in my apartment 23hours a day, and on social
security disibility. I sit in the living room looking at the dreaded bathroom
knowing I need to take a shower. I am not afraid of the shower or afraid of taking
a shower I think back to when something that was so easy, has now become a
dreaded procedure. Once I get in the shower I am OK, it is just that I don't have
the will to "get in there" everyday. This is causing me distress, because I am
not a dirty person and I want to be clean, it has become a battle.

has anyone else battled the shower? If so please Ideas on how to overcome this

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING--KRZYKRIS

KRZYKRIS

I understand about the shower issue, Kris, and it is a common occurance when very depressed to have a hard time getting up the energy to do. Sometimes it seems to take a monumental effort, but, like you said, after you're finished, you feel so much better. Because of not going out often, taking showers also becomes sort of an anxiety provoking event if it signals going out - in that case, doing it the night before helps. Also, when one is out of their normal daily schedule of showering and getting ready for the days activities - again, it can become a source of anxiety. I hope you will keep posting here, and mayby you can make 'contracts' with yourself on here, so that you feel more accountable for making yourself do things; I've done that before, and sometimes it helps. Warmest regards, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

Peanut,
Thank you for sharing with me this information. It helped me feel better about
the problem. This is short because I am having trouble with this reply, because
I am having anxiety that I am not saying the right things or that i am wrong.

Thank you again-
kris

KRZYKRIS

ok, you are not wrong
This is for you to tell us what is buggin you and we are supposed to help you..

One way I like to help me take a shower is to listen to ocen music while taking a sshower it helps me relax and understand this issomething you do daily, but it can also be fun.. Buy a new saop for yourself something that you would never do, but hey, it can be an exotic smelling soap, or even try that new Herable essacne shampoo.. it worked on me for awhile..

Always try to make yourself feel better
"Baby steps" is where we have to start out at.. I have been told that by a very good freind on the fourms here and I am starting to do that Just baby steps..

One day you will overcome this I belive you will..

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
<font color=purple>

Lady D,

Thank you for your kind words. I have been feeling somewhat better lately, and
finding it not as difficult to take a shower. I have been taking them at night, because
I have finally realized in the mornings it is hard for me to get going, and get motivated
I do have diffrent body wash and shampoos and Conditioners. I think I will switch
brands of them all every time I shower. It can be kind of like a game.

thanks alot
Happy Holidays

Kris

KRZYKRIS

krzykris it is excellent that you found something to help you through this problem. That's what places like this are all about. For some people showering seems like such a little thing but finding a way to be able to do it will have such a huge benefit toward helping fight the depression.

I haven't had particular problems showering, it is always sort of a ritual for me. I've had HUGE problems getting out of bed in the morning. Once i am out i don't have any problem showering and dressing. My biggest problem in a similar vain is that i haven't been able to go through my mail or pay my bills since i left the hospital. it is all piling up on my floor. i've tried tackling it just a little at a time and i've tried other things. some small success but overall it is just piling up more.

People who are not suffering from depression will never know or understand how hard it is to do something "simple" like shower or open mail. Sometimes they think you just don't care about doing those things anymore, but it is actually more frustrating because you do care and yet are unable to accomplish what you believe should be such an easy task. It becomes a big endless cycle of feeling even worse about yourself.

Hey there KrzyKris, it's nice to meet you

Well done for taking the step of posting, it's quite scary isn't it? Especially when confidence is low.

Hey man I know exactly what you mean about the shower. I had it for a couple of years. I tried to explain to my boyfriend at the time and he thought I was an idiot. He just couldn't understand it because he thought showering was great, a nice thing to do. I just shut up about the shower thing after that.

Anyway, I figured that it was something to do with procrastination or putting off the beginning of my day. I guess I knew that once I had had a shower I would have to do something about my life, go out and do something with the day/try and interact with others which I knew would be painful and that the longer I put off having a shower the more time I could spend switched off, in front of the TV or trancing out staring at the wall - just switching off.

NOwadays I reckon I've got over getting in the shower, I can pretty much jump in without thinking, it's more the next stage of getting dressed which is more of a problem for me. It seems to take every bit of determination and willpower some days and it can have me on the verge of tears but I agree that once I've got past this and I am ready to face the day I feel so much better.

I think a book I read called Self-Help for the nerves really helped me get over the shower thing, I don't recall the author right now, I can find it for you if you like. The author really hit home when she said that you will almost certainly feel better if when you wake up you GET up and that once you have had a shower and tea you will feel much better also.
I guess I couldn't figure this out myself, I was constantly thinking that perhaps I would feel better if I stayed in bed or that I shouldn't try and get ready because it was too stressful but I believe she is right!!!

Jesus I've blabbed on a bit tonight, I'll stop now. Hope this is helpful. Thanks for your post
marie x

Hi Dexter,
Thank you for the words of encouragment and support. I am grateful.
With the mail issue have you tried sorting it into priority most to least?
Possibly try to open first those you know you must open to survive--utilitys
-car payment etc, Try baby steps Maybe even just one a day for starters,
Hope you start feeling better. Take care.

Kris

KRZYKRIS

I've been trying everything. it isn't really even such a big deal... 99% of it is junk mail so it won't take any sort of significant amount of time to go through it. now of course i am worried about all the bills but that is only a recent issue because i'm not out of money yet and could have easily kept on top of this at any point. i am still struggling with it. i seem to be sabotaging myself. for instance i have bad arthritis in my knee so i can't bend down. my floor is a mess (i drop stuff there and can't/don't want to pick it up) i keep bringing in the mail and just dropping it on the floor and then not looking through it because it hurts to bend down.

i've been so incredibly down recently and have felt so abandoned. i have some good friends but they really don't have the time or energy to help me with this (the depression) even though lately i have been outright asking for help. i'm between doctors because of insurance and waiting way too long for my next appointment. i managed to call and get a new appointment a week earlier, for tomorrow, but now i haven't been able to find anyone with the time or who cares enough to come and shovel my snow so i'm trapped here and may likely miss the appointment.

i've been seeking out support groups to try to get through the periods between doc visits. last week i missed ALL of them. new one on tuesday that i was really looking forward to, but i got lost and couldn't find the place. figured it out for next week (tonight, actually) and clung to the fact that i had a good friday group to get me through, but i made it to the friday group and no one was there (apparently cancelled because of snow) so i really struggled this weekend, tonight is that new group again, but once again i will probably miss it because of the snow. i keep feeling like i;'m getting "signals" from the universe.

i;ve been pretty hopeless and desparate for more than two months now (home from work for that long, unable to function) and this depression has been a growing problem for more than two years. one of my biggest regrets now is that i don't have anyone who can help me when i need it, not for little things like shoveling my snow or more importantly to visit once in a while to give me some emotional support. i have no family of any use (my dad is a huge source of problems, not a solution in any form) so if i stumble here, i.e. hospitalized again, get sicker, can't keep up with my bills... i will be completely on my own and i don't know if i can survive this on my own. every day has been a huge struggle and i don't know how i made it this far. it may be a good sign that i've made it this far except that things keep looking bleaker and bleaker on all fronts and i really feel like i am sliding downhill with no brakes.

this should all have been in a new thread... i've been waiting to post wanting instead to just hang around for a while. there is a lot more to this sometime soon i'll have to repeat it all again.

Dexter,
I understand about the floor thing, it is hard for me to bend over and pick things up
off the floor myself. I suffer from chronic pain I have arthritis and bone spurs on
my spine. The physical pain can trigger the depression, as well ive found that the
depression triggers the pain, so I understand that. I get so upset when I drop things
on the floor, and alot of times I just leave it. Then become frustrated because of
the junk on Floor.

I strongly encourage you to post a thread, all the issues you stated are depression
related and I'm sure you can get alot of feedback without having to leave the house.
All depression is different, but all in some way related. I was really scared and
nervous about my first thread, more so the fear of rejection or not being accepted
But I did it and now I feel much better. I dont even understand computers.

I hope you are able to get to your Drs appointment. I have one tomorrow myself.
I am hoping I will not stay up all night out of fear that I won't wake up for or miss
The appoitment.

Good luck and Don't give up,
Chris

KRZYKRIS

Hi Goggles,
So sorry it has taken me this long to repy. Yes indeed posting was a very scary
thing to do, it was a fear and now I have done it and it doesn't feel quite as scary.
Thank you for sharing your shower story, it helped me realize that someone else
had a similar experience. I am working on it and it is getting easier but still not
something I jump up and down excited about, but I am getting there.

Thank you so much for your reply!

Take care,
Kris

KRZYKRIS

I have a similar problem and at the same time totally unsimilar...its about 20 degrees outside and i cant get a coat. seems strange but i cant open the closet. I used to target shoot alot, and my rifle is in the closet i am terrified that if i open the door and see it i wont be able to keep myself from blowing my brains out. id move it but in the last week i havnet been ok to trust myself with handeling it. i have sweaters and such so im not going to freeze but it still bothers me

-David

A great ship can weather the storm...as I float here in this rowboat and watch the storm approach I wish I had a friend to pull me up onto a ship.

>>I used to target shoot alot, and my rifle is in the closet, id move it but in the last week i havnet been ok to trust myself with handeling it.

bipolaralone I hope you can give yourself a huge amount of credit for recognizing this and making decisions to keep yourself safe. Hopefully a solution will present itself that allows you to get your coat and get out a bit. Maybe someone will be able to take it and store it someplace for you so that it isn't in your way. In the meantime stay safe.

Hello KRZYKRIS and welcome to the forum.

Depression sure can throw all kinds of obstacles in one's path. I could be wrong but I think the shower thing is your way of not wanting to get the day started.

I have a similar deal, although it isn't the shower. It is just getting going in the morning. Once I force myself to move around - I'm ok.

I think also, that if you were to get outside for some of the daytime it would be helpful. Sitting around the apartment isn't a good thing. It keeps you secluded and away from others. It keeps you from living friend.

Sam

"You'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try."

Bipolarone,

First of all, from the way it sounds you are severly depressed. Severe depression can alter ones
judgement. It sounds like you really do not need to be alone right now with a gun in the house.
Depression lies to us, it tells us things will never get better and there is no hope. I have hope
in you and would suggest that you call a friend or family member, and have them remove the
firearms from your household, until you feel better. Do not be afraid to seek professional help
if you have not already. Depression is a severe medical condition which can be treated, If you
feel strongly about the urge to no longer be alive CALL A MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE IMMEDIATLY!
YOU ARE SOMEBODY! PLEASE CALL A PROFESSIONAL, MOST HOTLINES DO NOT REQUIRE YOU TO
GIVE YOUR NAME. I have confidence that you will seek help. let us know how you are doing!

peace and happy holidays-kris

KRZYKRIS

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

Thank you
Sam

I have been doing better with the shower thing lately, and I agree I need to get out of the house mopre and I have been trying to get out at least once a day. I have a hard time waking up in the mornings, I think it is a Hangover from my nightly medication. Thanks again for your reply.


KRZYKRIS

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

Your very welcome sweetie - you just keep hanging in there and working on it and I am sure it will get better. I'm glad you came and hope you post and reply as often as you like.

Your friend Sam

"You'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try."

I am doing a lot better recently. The new meds are kicking in and my friends have taken good care of me for the most part...one of them removed my rifle (dont know where and dont really care) but it hasnt seemed as tempting since i got onto the forums i dont know but just getting things out helped a lot and thanks for your reply kris...believe it or not that helped too i was to the point i thought noone cared and the forum helped prove me wrong. thanks everyone

A great ship can weather the storm...as I float here in this rowboat and watch the storm approach I wish I had a friend to pull me up onto a ship.

thanks for pointing that out i actually never thought of that as something to be proud of that i kept myself safe. to be perfectly honest, sometimes im ashamed that i have to though i suppose that since i respect others for endureing i should respect myself as well. thanks

A great ship can weather the storm...as I float here in this rowboat and watch the storm approach I wish I had a friend to pull me up onto a ship.

>>one of them removed my rifle (dont know where and dont really care) but it hasnt seemed as tempting since i got onto the forums

Hey there's a lot of good news in that post. First of all the most excellent thing is that you have felt a little better as a result of being here. I am so glad you found something that can be in your "toolbox" to help you get through this. With depression comes so much negativity that it is great to hold onto anything you find that can help.

It is also great that you found someone to move your rifle. Even if you feel safer about it right at this moment, with it gone you don't have to even worry about it becoming a temptation in the future. Really best to get it out of there, it is just one less negative thing to have sitting around so now you can focus better on getting through this and getting well again.

Also kudos to your friend who came over to help. We at this forum all know and understand what you are going through, and because of that we can be a great source of support, but it is also good to know you have someone who can help you out with physical things when you need something. Clearly you have people in your life that know you and care about you and are willing to help. The negativity from depression can often hide that fact from your "reality", so try to remember that there are people there and here that love you and want to help you through this!

--The world is what we make of it--
--Dave <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

Bipolarone

Thank you for your reply, and most of all I am thankful for your safety and that you have friends who care enough about you to step in and help. Being bipolar is so frustrating, when I get out of bed I never know what the "mood of the day" is going to be. I hope a slight upswing for the day. Thanks again for letting us know your ok.
I to have found comfort in the forum.

Take care,
Chris

KRZYKRIS

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

((((((( Chris ))))))))))))
sometimes the littlest things seem impossible with depression or bipolar. I have a similar problem but, it comes from being abused. I have a paranioia of someone watching me. so I always have to look out. when I have soap in my eyes I quickly have to rince it off. But, when I find myself to be really depressed. It's a battle just to try and get in. once I'm in everything is a ok. it's just the whole getting out of bed. I shower everyday but, I find it to be a war against myself. Like the choo-choo that said he could. just know you can. I think I can, I think I can. ((((((( hugs)))))))) too you..

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth & love have always won. there have been tyrants & murderers, and for a time they can be invincible, but in the end they always fall.
think of it... always.
Mohandas Gandhi...