[Doingmybest]

My feelings of depression are so much worse in the morning...I can tolerate it during the day but in the mornings it's unbearable
I am wake up every morning between 3-4 feeling extremely anxious, depressed and fearful...I can't go back to bed and if I do its usually after sunrise and it's because I'm exhausted (emotionally).

Can anyone relate? I am not currently seeing a therapist but are any of you aware of medication that could ease the pain I feel each morning?
I just recently fell back into depression after years of being "ok" when I was a teenager I was on Zoloft for a while, didn't care for it...any ideas or suggestions on how to make this stop?

[winter4me]

Sometimes, when I wake in the morning it is as if all the very worst things are There. If I go back to sleep, the dreams are unpleasant. I've come to believe depression brings with it a great difficulty with minor/major/basic transitions--- to move from one place to another. Do you know what/if something triggered the depression? What worked best for me but is Very hard to do was to get up immediately on waking, taking a shower, dressing and by then the feelings usually passed, or at least muted. Sometimes when you Have to get to sleep to function the next day short term medication will help (I use but do not recommend long term meds---it is not possible for me to change at this time)--

my depression is always worse in the day... from about 9 in the morning, until about 2 pm in the afternoon

[spaceid]

I'm almost always depressed when I wake up in the morning. The only thing I can do is get out of bed immediately and get on with my day. If I don't have anything to do that day it makes it worse, but I guess I tell my self it will pass and eventually it does.

My depression is always deepest in the mornings. I find, like others, just drag my butt out of bed, shower, coffee (for me the caffeine is some artificial joy) and get on with it. Usually by the 2nd cup of coffee I am ok or am just able to deal with it.
Once I am on my commute its usually gone, unless some song on the radio triggers a memory or a guilt feeling, then I change the station.
I was on meds and the side affects made me anxious and lots of muscle tension in my back, I couldnt stand it anymore and stopped taking them.
I am gong back to my PDoc for reavaluation because the saddness and stress is just more than I can bear...dont want meds but for a while using them really helped me out!
Good luck to you!

[Doingmybest]

Thanks you guys... The fact that I wake up so early (usually about 3:30) makes it difficult for me to do much else but just lay there :/ I think the trigger was my job I started working as a case manager at a rape crisis center and my past issues started to come up, I knew I had to leave but was fired before I could find another job....so now I don't really have anywhere to go in the mornings and being that Im short on cash, I don't really have many options on things to do.. I think what makes it even worse in the mornings is when ny husband leaves for work, I know that he has to go, he is our only income and he usually lays with me for a few minutes to try to ease some of the anxiety he holds me tight but when he leaves I feel abandoned...I have dependency issues as well..I think my two children are the only reason I don't lay in bed all day...

I didn't like meds when I was on them but lately I feel desperate.. yesterday morning it was so bad I felt suicidal. I'm ashamed of what depression has done to me. Also I think my husband thinks I'm a little out of it (kooky)....I think maybe seeing a T can validate what I already know I am experiencing and help him understand that the me he used to know is still there...

There are times when I wake up much earlier than I have to and have difficulty getting back to sleep. I guess depression has a lot to do with that.

Just as I wake up and about to get up, that's when I feel the worst. It's because I think about health issues for myself. I think about how much time do I have left. Also, how would I deal with myself if I got a major illness, since I'm all alone. And I think about the lack of friends that I have and it's not going to get better with time.

[Cocosurviving]

I've experience depression this winter. Ur on the right path---go see a T. I see a T and have an appt w/ my pdoc soon. I do take meds and my depression was worse w/ out. I think I'm in need of a med adjustment. I wish u luck.

[Doingmybest]

Originally Posted by will19

There are times when I wake up much earlier than I have to and have difficulty getting back to sleep. I guess depression has a lot to do with that.

Just as I wake up and about to get up, that's when I feel the worst. It's because I think about health issues for myself. I think about how much time do I have left. Also, how would I deal with myself if I got a major illness, since I'm all alone. And I think about the lack of friends that I have and it's not going to get better with time.

Will,

Yes depression makes everyday things hard to accomplish, I never thought just waking could be so hard. I'm sorry to hear about your health issues... I wish you the best. I hope you are finding the support you need here on this forum

Thank you, Doingmybest. I don't have anything severe. Just little minor things, but I'm functioning very well. It's very hard to just wake up and feel very depressed. But yet when I get something to eat, then I feel much better. Especially eating some kind of oat cereal.

[nightstriker]

That's interesting because if I start feeling depressed it is usually at the opposite time. Later at night before I go to bed. Usually around 11pm or so.

[1hopefulgal]

While I have a LOT of trouble waking and getting out of bed in the morning (usually around 10:30-11 a.m. now that I'm not working), my depression tends to be worse at night.

Nighttime is when the gears in my brain start to turn, churning out negative thoughts, worries about finances, conversations (recent and very old), concern about the future, etc.

I take melatonin and try to distract myself with reading until I'm tired enough to fall asleep. Usually it works, sometimes it doesn't. During the times it does not work, I'll lay in bed until the wee hours of the morning worrying about stuff.

[Doingmybest]

Hopeful gal,
I often too obsess over past conversations and later when I'm feeling "normal" again I realize how irrational I get...

[geez]

(((Doingmybest))) if you aren't on any meds and you are having 'thoughts' I would get help asap. Do you have a plan??? If so go to the ER. I've been there with not sleeping at night etc.... I have to take something so I can sleep at night otherwise I will be up for several hours in the middle of the night. I need to get my meds tweaked. Unfortunately getting the meds right doesn't happe always on the first try.

[Doingmybest]

Geez,
I do but I know I wouldn't go through with it with my children in the home....sometimes I think of dropping them off at my Moms or in-laws but I don't...If my husband is being supportive he texts me while he's at work and it takes the edge off a bit...on days when he seems fed up with me he ignores my messages and it makes me feel rejected and the urges get stronger...dies that sound dumb? he is the only one I have told about my thoughts so when he blows me off I feel as if I don't matter. either way my children are my motivation to seek help, they are so darn cute. My 5 year old puts me on clouds based on my mood he will say mom your on your sad cloud today but it's ok...I want so badly to get passed this so they don't have their only memories of childhood be of their depressed mother...I have only felt depressed a few months now, since October. I had been managing well for a few years before that.

[winter4me]

I think anyone who took a job that triggered painful issues and then, on top of that gets fired could be pretty devastated, even if you knew you needed to leave, that doesn't matter,,,,,talking to someone and sorting through the issues and the possible ways to manage/treat your depression could be very important. Your husband, maybe not having similar issues, can give you hugs (take them and know, even if just intellectually, he isn't deserting you to go to work----but know it is ok that you feel that way, it is just what you feel and we don't get to choose how we feel, just what we do) It is hard to be alone when feeling so low. (meanwhile, i sit between work hours trapped in my own head, overwhelmed...wanting to cry but unable, wanting to move but making excuses.... we are not alone. ....

[Doingmybest]

Thank You Winter I feel so much better at night..I'm almost afraid to fall asleep because I know how I'll feel come morning time... I do my best remind myself that my husband has responsibilities other than me and that he is doing it because he must nit because he is trying to get away...I think deep down I'm jealous, I'm jealous that he has a job, a purpose, and on top of it he actually likes his job...he has fun there...I know I should be happy for him and somewhere inside I am but I am also resentful of his happiness...is that horrible?

[pinnodd]

Originally Posted by will19

Thank you, Doingmybest. I don't have anything severe. Just little minor things, but I'm functioning very well. It's very hard to just wake up and feel very depressed. But yet when I get something to eat, then I feel much better. Especially eating some kind of oat cereal.

Most Days I wake up just fine but when I go to bed I feel depressed bc I dont i dont have anyone to share my life with and feel hopless. I have been diagnosed with dysthymia a depression disorder. I my classmates from high school still reject me from 12 years ago and most label me. I'm depressed bc im lonely and medication is not the answer. I dont want to gain weight. II live independently and have a developmental disability. When I eat i also feel better. My father physically and mentally abused me calling me retarded and christmas eve kicked me and my mom out when I was 12.

[geez]

Doingmybest it sounds like you have several things going on at once. That sounds hard having 3 and 5 yr olds (if I remember correctly). I have a 3 and 7 yr old and they require a lot of attention. Thankfully my 7 yr old is in the second grade so during the day I will have that relief. My 3yr old goes to preschool 4 days a week and two of those days I thankfully don't pick him up until 3pm when I'm done with my program (now I have him preschool 5 days because of my treatment). If other family and friends new what you were going through do you think they could/would help out? Your illness is too much for you or your husband to cure. And I can certainly relate to living for your children but try and live for them by getting help.

I am currently being treated for depression and anxiety (I started to fall into depression in October and had been diagnosed with major depression in November). On meds I don't have SI for most of the time. I would say I have SI 1 day out of 7 and anxiety I have to varying degrees every day for short periods of time. Every day is different and the feelings of wanting to stay in bed is there. Unfortunately depression isn't something we can will ourselves out of.

Keep reaching out here but please get some additional help. I have a babysitter that died 3 months ago from suicide and she had a moment of not being clear in her mind that's why she did it. In addition to that a person in my treatment program has a daughter that passed from suicide a few months ago.

Thinking about you and worried about you. Reaching out can be hard but please get help.

[Doingmybest]

I woke up this morning in a different state of mind...I feel strangely optimistic. I knew it's probably just temporary because I can have good days and then crash pretty hard but I will be seeking professional help...I know I need it...Maybe I can email a therapists office right now that I am feeling well so that they can contact me when they reopen (probably on Wednesday).... that way if I am feeling low again it'll be easier to take that step...

[Doingmybest]

Originally Posted by pinnodd

Most Days I wake up just fine but when I go to bed I feel depressed bc I dont i dont have anyone to share my life with and feel hopless. I have been diagnosed with dysthymia a depression disorder. I my classmates from high school still reject me from 12 years ago and most label me. I'm depressed bc im lonely and medication is not the answer. I dont want to gain weight. II live independently and have a developmental disability. When I eat i also feel better. My father physically and mentally abused me calling me retarded and christmas eve kicked me and my mom out when I was 12.

Pinnod,
I am sorry to hear you are not doing well. I know how horrible the feeling of hopelessness can be. Please remember that we are all here for you and will not judge or reject you.. people only label us because they don't understand and it makes them feel better...you are a person first your depression or disability do not define you.

[geez]

Originally Posted by Doingmybest

I woke up this morning in a different state of mind...I feel strangely optimistic. I knew it's probably just temporary because I can have good days and then crash pretty hard but I will be seeking professional help...I know I need it...Maybe I can email a therapists office right now that I am feeling well so that they can contact me when they reopen (probably on Wednesday).... that way if I am feeling low again it'll be easier to take that step...

I can relate to feeling optimistic and then having a crash. Depression isn't a steady state. There are many ups and downs and it's the downs that can get us into 'trouble'. Most definitely make the call!! There are therapist that work on New Years Eve and New Years Day. It's a busy time of year in that profession around the holidays. If you get a therapists message machine tell them you are looking for treatment for depression. Also a therapist/psychologist can't prescribe meds so call your primary care doctor or a psychiatrist as well. I know how hard it is being a mom and having the need to be/feel strong. It's your turn to take care of yourself.

[Doingmybest]

Thanks Geez! You are such a great support

I woke up feeling really bad this morning. I may have had a little too much wine last night while watching a movie. The movie was not that good I thought.

But then I got an email from my brother and it was not very positive. That's the way it is with him. He got upset because I didn't like what he liked.

Once again I got thinking about - what if my health fails? I feel very consumed with it even though I feel OK physically. I went to church today and I felt like I couldn't get "with it". There were not many people there today. Also the weather is cloudy and it looks like it will rain. Pretty cold and damp, too.

[Doingmybest]

I'm sorry will days like this can are difficult especially when you are trying and you still dint feel right...I wish you the best and hope your day gets better...what movie did you watch?