[ariesmars]

I don't see the point anymore, I have lost the will, the want, the need. I have nothing, my life is torture, no job, no friends, no girlfriend, i need to be needed. I wish it would end!! No one would miss me, the family doesn't care about me, no one does! I've just being used and I am sick of it.

[Flinty]

ariesmars,
I am sorry you feel that way, I too am suffering a large bout of depression......
You are still alive, thats the most important thing!!
No matter what you might believe, there will always be people who miss you....
((((((((((((((ariesmars))))))))))))))))
Are you seeing anyone to help you with this???
I am here if ever you need to talk, don't hesitate to send me a message!!

Flinty

[Bethsway]

Arismars...I feel bad that you feel so bad today...Hope you will find a ray of sunshine tomorrow!! Even if you think no one loves you..it is not true...Your family does...maybe they don't show it in the right way...Maybe they aren't aware how much you hurt inside...Are you going to a doctor? or taking anything for your depression? It could help you to realize things can get better...and as for girlfriend...she will come when you least expect it...lol...that is just the way it happens....so hang in there!!!

[dcs_no1_fan]

(((((amieramars)))))

Im sorry that you are feeling this way today
1) Please dont think that no one would miss you we all would
2) im sure your family do care but they either dont relise that you feel like this at the moment & or dont know how to show you how they feel may be if you cant tell them how you are feeling put it down in words & get them to do the same about how they feel about you
3) you will find love just when you are not looking for it

T.C

[Frozen_Heart]

I hope there is someone you can reach out to, even a professional, to help you through your rough spot. Just keep the will to make changes for the better.

(((((HUGS)))))

[pamelasu]

(((((HUGS))))) It's going to be ok! One day you will be strong enough to stand up for yourself. You just have to keep trying! I am really sorry that you are feeling this way though. I know how hard it is to be in that position.
((((HUGS))))

[ariesmars]

Well, last night I slept with a large sharp knife right beside me hoping I would roll on it during the night, no such luck. I'm still here unharmed. I'm thankful that some of you replied to me and they are touching. But in my head I still don't feel any better. On top of everything, a girl I think I'm in love with does not seem to feel the same way and she is nice to me out of pity. She has a boyfriend and I respect that, I just want to be with her, but I'm sure she doesn't want that. I need anyone to hold me. Just wish it was her.

[Bethsway]

don't worry so much about this one girl...if she has a boyfriend, you should try to look elesewhere...don't worry you will find someone who loves you just as much as you love her...truly...

[Flinty]

I am sorry to hear that you would like to be hurt, I too know that feeling, but regardless of the thoughts running through your head, you deserve to be here & you deserve to be happy.

I would not stake my entire claim on one girl, I am a deep believer in fate...... if you are truly meant to be with her, it will work itself in the end, but by closing yourself off & purely focusing on 1 girl, you tend to be blind at the other things that may surface (speaking from previous experience!!) Don't go looking for Love, coz you probably wont find what your looking for, let love find you..... & if this girl is being nice to you out of pity as you say, she really doesn;t sound worth it. Love should be about your partner loving you for you!!!
Please keep your chin up & should you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me anytime!!
Flinty

[mssumom]

I'm where you are too......or almost wasn't over the weekend but I came across this web site and believe me when I say if you will pour over the words that people have responded to in questions like yours(at least you are brave enough to put a question out there....i can't seem to do that have only responded to a couple like yours that touch something in me that isn't dead yet) you stay alive and put one foot in front of the other and make yourself face tomorrow.
Hang in there!

[ariesmars]

How does one deal with being alone? It is starting to really get to me. I'm 28 years old and have never had a girlfriend or a kiss, I had 2 hugs from a girl I liked but she moved away and never seen her again. I can understand the need for prostitues, even though people disagree about that.

[froggie2]

We all need to be held and touched. When I was single it was tough at times. I joined some groups and as a lot of us were singles when we'd meet we'd greet each other with hugs. It sure helped. I learned to get my " fix" from friends and if I didn't get at least one hug per week I sure noticed the difference. I bought a teddy bear to hug also. My teddy was always there. ((((((hugs))))))

My brother didn't get find a girlfriend & get married until he was 40, but he filled his life with his hobbies & interests & had many friends from these ventures. He even had a radio show when he was in college & called himself "weird Harold" on the air. He realized he was out-of-step with the "norm", but lived his life with integrity & stayed true to himself. I am also a believer in fate & that the right girl will come along for you. Just find your own true self & then you have that to offer to a relationship.

I've been there with the depression many times (I'm 52), but there is hope with professional help. Please reach out & get it so that you can live your life to the fullest. We care.--Suzy

[ariesmars]

I'm trying, day by day and I'm still sad, but I am here. As for the girl I think I love, I just don't know. I was checking my email for a job I applied to and didn't get. (I failed again) and she instant messaged me. That was cheerful, since she took the time to figure out my name and contact me, but I don't know if I am getting the wrong signs. When she leaves for a few minutes and sets the auto response message she ends the message with the words "love you" I just have to assume 100% that she does that for her boyfriend and not me. But it sure, appears like it is directed toward me, since she was just talking to me. In any case, those words have a strong impact on someone like me, who feels this way. I thought about asking her about it, but I don't want the disappointment of knowing the truth. I have never had a girlfriend or a girl friend, so I have no idea what is going on here or how women think. It is just so painful! When I try to forget about her, she suddenly appears. Why am I tortured by this and everything else? Why?

[Bethsway]

Ariesmars (((((HUGS!!!)))) to you...don't worry...she will come...just come right out and ask your friend in a message if you are shy...Say something like..hey, you think there could be a chance for the two of us? Then she will let you know..politely I am sure...LIke or sorry I have a boyfiend...or if she IS interested she will say something like well MAYBE...

[Sarah116]

Find something you like that will always like you back! Like a pet or sport, go to church perhaps. Good luck!

[JustAPixie]

((((( ariesmars ))))))

I really hope you are seeing someone... you definately need someone to stand by your side in this time. Don't feel like you have to do this alone.

I hope there are better days waiting for you in a new dawn.

[(JD)]

<font color="darkblue">[b] I'm so sorry for your sadness...and your loss of your best friend/cat. I know you feel you could have saved him...but it didn't turn out that way... I'm so sorry... The only thing I've found to fill the void losing a pet makes...is another pet. Please open your heart to a new kitten who needs your love, and you need it too.

You are depressed, and that's why all the negative thinking. Depression tells us these lies. There is another "life" out there... the dark waters right now won't last forever... honest.... I hope you will put away the knife, and begin to take good self care.

Come back and post and us here at PC know how you are doing, ok?

[ariesmars]

Thanks everyone. It is just so hard! I did put the knife away, but at times I keep looking at it. I keep talking to my baby Bucky everyday and I say goodnight to him each night. I did get another kitty and she is very lovable, but I just don't feel the connection that I really want. As for the girl she stopped sending me IM's and when I contact her she is busy. I know she is in college and she would get busy, I've been there, but I always had a few minutes to spare. I wish I could forget about her, she depresses me more each day. I would like to see someone to help me, but those I come across need a fee and I can't pay my bills as it is.

[Bethsway]

does anybody know of an agency or somewhere where he can get help...like medicade or something? you need to talk to someone...maybe get medicine...even a family doctor will prescribe medicine sometimes to help with depression...mine did for three years before I finally went to pdoc...In fact he gave me free samples...so..maybe there is hope for you...go talk to your family doctor...tell him how you are feeling....

[ariesmars]

I've been talking to the girl, chelsea, and she seems to understand my problem and she is not interested me in, but I don't think she had pity for me. But now I think she does. Today i tried to talk to her and it was a cold conversation, I could feel the tension. I asked her if it was a problem and she said no, but I know differently, i can just tell. She thinks I am loser and wants nothing to do with me. What to do?

[Bethsway]

well ariesmars...it probably isn't because she thinks you are a loser...it is just she is trying to let you know that she isn't interested in that way...everybody can't like everybody in a loving way...don't worry there are lots of girls and I bet some that may even have a crush on you but too shy to tell you too...it works both ways...!! You will find someone when you least expect it...I am rooting for you!!

[ariesmars]

I found this statement...

The most important thing to remember is that depression is not your fault. It's not a flaw in your character. It's a disease that can affect anyone.

I like this because it lets me know it is not my fault I am this way. I need people to constantly tell me it will ok, I just don't believe it. I need someone to hold my hand until I get through this. I keep thinking that their is only one way out, and it is...you know.

I know it is just the chemicals in the brain that is causing this, but it is so strong. Depression is in my family and I thought it would not hit me, but I was wrong. I don't feel like doing anything. I didn't eat yet today, I just don't feel like it.

my name is matt and I would love a surprise email to cheer me up and comfort me

seinbest@aol.com

[Bethsway]

Matt...I wish I could do something to cheer you up...but sometimes when you are really down the only thing that can help is some medication...there is so many new things now that help...I am taking three kinds of meds now...and am finally feeling a little better...don't get me wrong I still have my bad days..but less often...and there is a little time during the day...i actually laugh...Please Matt...if you are not taking anything...or going to a therapist...you need to now...It is the only way to start getting out of this deep depression you seem to have...Please do it for all of us...because we care!!!!

[ariesmars]

well, i have been researching depression online and it makes me much less depressed now, since I understand it and know it is just science at work, although it is negitive to us. I'm still sad about not having a girlfriend and being alone, but as others said, it will happen. I just wish it was soon. anyway, I'm feeling much better, I'd say 80%. I'll still talk to my doctor next time I go. This past depression was very bad to me, probably because of all the negitive things that happened to me, I lost my baby Bucky (best friend: cat), lost a few job offers, that I girl I really liked/loved, money problems, and other minor things. Losing so much in a few weeks was just too much. I know that it is not over, and it will happen again, but I will know what to expect and better prepared for it. I have been talking to Chelsea by email and IM's and she understands and wants to listen to me and it helps greatly. So, maybe she doesn't pity me and maybe she will help me find someone. That is positive thinking! Thanks everyone, and keep giving me those hugs!!!