I just can't get started!

Ok so i post about this a lot, but this is because it is a problem of mine.

Looking back over the years since i left school i had a few jobs, but mostly i went to uni and then filled in time sleeping, eating, on the internet, diary writing and wasting away time doing nothing.

I just have so much trouble working out what to do with my time!

I realise so much of it is spent doing nothing, i just sort of got over an addiction to myspace.

What i guess i am hoping people can help me with, is what i could do to brainstorm ideas about what i can do, and what is it that motivates you to do what you do everyday so that i can find something that will motivate me too.

Do you have any ideas about things i could write? For example, write lists of things i like doing, ask people what they do, think about things i would like to find out about?

It has been a month since i came out of hospital, and i really wanted to start doing something but i just can't get going!

Every day blends into another and it isn't very significant which day of the week it is, or what time of day it is. Why is this? Is it because i don't have any routine?

I am really quite distressed about this, because i spend a fair bit of time trying to think about it but never come up with any solutions....

xx

hey

good to see you want to make positive improvements. so first off, congratulate yourself for that.

to work out what you like doing can be quite tricky, but then again, it can be straight forward too.

what excites you? what kind of things do you enjoy doing? maybe if you use the internet alot, maybe you could look into doing a computer course - like an evening course - so you know more about how they work, or do a course in website design. something along those lines perhaps?

what about art, you like any art. like music or painting, drawing etc, if so, try painting a picture, or drawing a sunrise etc....

or maybe charity work. there are plenty of organisations around that are crying out for volunteers. these are good for 2 reasons: 1: it helps out charities which help to improve the world we live in, and 2: it will build your self-confidence and self-esteem up as you will feel valued and appreciated. you will get home on a night time after working for a charity and you will feel you have achieved something, and to know you are helping your local enviroment will make you feel better about yourself. its a win win situation really.

but if your not into charuty work, have you considered getting a part time job at a local shop, say? this will let you meet more people, so it could enhance your social life - allowing you to spend more time out and about at things such as cinemas, restaurants etc. plus getting a part time job will earn you a little money you could use to buy yourself nice things every so often.

to start brainstorming, sit down and go thorugh things you spend a lot of time doing (in your case internet surfing) and try to adapt that into things you enjoy doing. then build on it. and try writing things down that interest you, even if it so simple like walking in the park, because then you could build on it.

the thing that motivates me to do things is boredom. when i get bored i begin feeling depressed, so i have to try to invent things for myself to do to pass the time. even if i have no one to do these things with, i will do things on my own.

good luck and i hope this helps... ket me know if theres anything else you need.

simon

Simon is so smart.. he has some excellent ideas... i totally agree with him! You must find something You are passionate about and make it your focus...What do you like?

do you like to take pictures? Do you like the idea of designing websites?Or maybe you could study to become a teacher of computers...lets see...

What other stuff do you like? Nature?Cooking? Drawing? Painting? Animals?You might try going to the park or the mall or somewhere like that and just watch the people... sometimes thats what i like to do when I am drawing a blank when trying to get ideas...

You sound motivated to me because here you are asking for direction...and I agree with Simon about the steps you are taking for self improvment... well done..

Let us know what you think and what you come up with.. I am interested to know...Good Luck!

Hi Simon.

I am always trying but that is never enough

I ask the question "What can i do?" all the time, and although i am slowly progressing it doesn't mean that the next time i am any better at solving the dilemma.

But thanks for the support

I don't know if i am that interested in computers, i haven't really thought about that before, generally i like things where there is a bit of social interaction i think that would be too much of a by-yourself kind of thing.

Perhaps because i like to post here, i should find some self-help support. Like a group or some classes or even a psychology or counselling course. Do you think you need to have everything together before you start one of them? Like what if the people you learn about are just like you- lonely, depressed, unmotivated lol!

Um i have tried to get into art, but i find it kind of fruitless. I play drums, i would like to take lessons one day and i am great, if i may say so myself with pastels, but we have to buy some lol. Still that is not something that cures boredom, well because it is solitary there is not a lot of motivation to do it- like you are not helping people in the process for example.

Yes volunteer work is something i have been thinking about for a long time. But i will have to choose carefully because i have worked in a second-hand shop and apart from being really bad at it, i wasn't even motivated to turn up! Because it was volunteer.

I just can't do most jobs. I don't react well to cash registers i get very stressed and other things like having to work fast.

The thing is not many jobs involve things like sleeping lol! Or i would be able to find a job that is along the lines of what i do already. I don't seem to use the internet much anymore. Mostly it was my way of meeting people....

Yes it is the boredom that really gets to me!

Thanks for your help xxoo

Thankyou faith!

Yes Simon is very thoughtful isn't he?

Exactly! I want to find a passion! Yet it may take some time and experiments.

I guess i like to take pictures, but ones with people in them lol! They're the best.

No not really into design.

But yes i have thought that i could help teach older people, a volunteer position, in using computers and the internet.

No not one for nature much, cooking good when i make up the recipies lol. Drawing yes, painting no, Animals yes!

Actually that's a cool idea just going to watch people- i like going to cafes and getting a coffee just for the outing! What an interesting idea!

If i get started on something i will certainly let you know!

Thanks for your help!

xxoo

I don't have any other ideas besides the ones offered - but ((((((((((((goldmaiden)))))))))))) hope things work out for you in your endeavours.

I think when you ask if it is because you don't have a routine you may have something there. You don't even have to have a stringent routine that accounts for every minute of your day, but a routine that includes certain small things to accomplish every day (shower, making bed, etc) and that includes other regular activity would be good (taking a walk every day or every other day, going out and being around people every day or every other day, etc.).

A lot of what you say you do now is very solitary. Find a way to be out amongst people often, going to shops, restaurants, taking a class, etc.

Read about your community's activities and attend some even if they only slight interest you; your interest may grow over time.

Make plans with friends to do things together; shop, cinema, cook a meal together.

The key is to start somewhere and let it grow from there. You will grow with any new experience you endeavor.

Good luck to you!

Yes people always tell me i need a routine- but when i find something to do, i will have a routine.

I don't like walking.

I just don't have any friends right now.

Yes community activities are a good idea.

Thanks echoes!

Most helpful to me was Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way with its exercises. But I didn't find my way until I was about 50 or so, and was surprised that it wasn't something new or different that I'd been doing all along, but was going back to something in my past and combining it with a newer interest, etc. Things change as we're living through them and that's hard to see; we're constantly getting better at some things, enjoying some things and letting others slide, etc. and it doesn't become clearer until maybe decades later.

I imagined being 85 and near the end of my life and thinking back upon it and wondering what I would "regret" not having done? That's a good exercise.

Ok i will look out for that book.

Tell me more about it- what's it about?

xx

This is still a massive problem for me.

I can't describe what it's like or how bad it is, but let's say it is the biggest problem in my life at the moment, and it is on my mind the whole time.

I have a deficiency of people to do things with, as i currently don't have any friends, i have fought with all of them in some way or another.

I have my family, but the time available to do things is limited. We went to our cousin's today, so that was something to do, but as soon as i was home and as soon as i got up in the morning i didn't know what to do

What i tend to do with that time is come onto the internet and chat or browse myspace, leave people messages. But this doesn't last long because there are not always people around and only so many messages you can send.

Perhaps if i was studying something i would have something to put my head into! The only problem is that is solitary and often i crave social things. But maybe that is the answer??



I am so lost i need help and i can't work out what to do for myself, neither can my Mum....

I took a class that used "The Artist's Way" as a textbook. It was very helpful for me to find something I was passionate about & to learn about new things that I might want to incorporate into my life. It also suggested weekly "artist's dates" where you go do something you've never done before. I started small like going to a movie by myself. I write the "morning pages" every day like the book suggests. It helps clear a lot of junk out of my mind & I often find a subject that I want to write more about.

I then signed up for a writing class & was very brave to read my writing out loud for the class to comment on. I really enjoyed hearing everyone's writing. They were so creative & individual even when we were all assigned to write about the same topic.

I just started a knitting class. I'm a loner, too, so I force myself to take classes where I will at least be around people & can interact with them with a focus. I find that much easier than just trying to chat with someone without a subject in mind. I get self-conscious & flustered.

Another resource is WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan). It is a class for people with mental illnesses & helps you to figure out what you need to do each day to keep yourself feeling well. It is offered by NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) or through your mental health assoc. IMR (Illness Management & Recovery) is another class I have taken. You have a specific goal to work on each week. One of my goals was to call someone on the phone from my support group. I have a bit of a phobia about phones (except when I'm manic), but I have since developed a relationship with two women from the group & it is a good feeling to have a couple friends I can turn to when I'm not feeling well.

Hope this helps.--Suzy

You know, that book sounds really good- i will look out for it.

Hi Goldenmaiden,

I'm so sorry that you are having problems. Yes, you need a routine, even if it's only a simple one at the moment.
Do you like puzzles? I find it takes over and I don't think near as much. It really has helped me to keep my mind occupied.

Wishing you the best of luck,
Linda

Hello hope things are going better at this time for you Golden. I hope you find something to do with your time, that you feel will make a difference to you and your life. Looking in the local paper for support groups may help, along with volunteering and school. You may get financial aide for school from your county mental health board or from agencies that provide financial help or job training for mantal health diagnosed people. If you need help finding something in your area feel frr to pm me and I will try to pin down some financial aide for you if you can not find soething that will let you go to school in your area. You will need to give me your city and state if you email in order for me to do the search for financial aide. Take care Sincerely soidhonia