so apparently we almost hit someone today

apparently we went in a room with a disney movie on, turned it off, and almost hit the person watching it.

we don't remember.. last thing we remember is sitting in the living room talking calmly about stuff and drinking our drink

must have been a big gap though..... ugg.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I’ve found this to be exactly so as well

I totally agree!!

It’s pretty smelly here right now.

Narcissist have a peculiar odor that is very distinctively theirs.

It does smell like a bad situation in a personal space.

[TrailRunner14]

I. Am. So. Tired. Of. Feeling. Stupid!!!!!!!!!!

[Amyjay]

(((((TrailRunner14))))
Hey. You is smart. You is kind. You is important!!
I don't believe for a second you are stupid. You have never ever come across as being stupid, ever. You are always smart and kind and kind of important around here too. How can you get to feeling not-stupid again?

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

(((((TrailRunner14))))

Hey. You is smart. You is kind. You is important!!

I don't believe for a second you are stupid. You have never ever come across as being stupid, ever. You are always smart and kind and kind of important around here too. How can you get to feeling not-stupid again?

Thank you friend for your kind words.

They made me laugh and cry at the same time.

I’m going to put myself to bed and hang on to them.

Tomorrow is always a better day. Right?

You is smart. You is kind. You is important.

Thank you!

Today we take our doggie to the vet.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

I totally agree!!

It’s pretty smelly here right now.

Narcissist have a peculiar odor that is very distinctively theirs.

It does smell like a bad situation in a personal space.

I agree, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Today we take our doggie to the vet.

Is doggie okay?

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Is doggie okay?

Yes she’s okay. We gonna fix her so she stay well and live a good long time.

Just the simplest of movements can cause the greatest amount of pain.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth this morning and had an urge (why???) to stretch my back by raising my left arm over my head pushing, and then it happened. My back must have been knotted up and the pulling tore some back muscles in the upper mid back region behind my heart. It hurt to breathe. I have to hold my breath to adjust my body and even to lay down on the floor to try to relax the muscles. I’m screwed.

I took a few ibuprofen pills and took a 3 hour nap. I’m pretty sore right now, have to sit erect, breathe easy.

I saw our work being affected- almost canceled...but I think that I can pull it off.

Now sitting at Walmart drinking a cold one for an all over pain reliever/muscle relaxer. Lol

Center back is still sharp pain, but going to work.

At 2:00, scheduled for 1 of 3 dental surgeries: 2 extractions and 2 root canals.

Thanks dad.

[Claritytoo]

Ok, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery last week. I was in excruciating pain. It came on at midnight and came out of no where. When the ambulance arrived I was unable to talk. I said a few things but that was it. I was making strange movements with my mouth, I was in a strange position, I was unable to take care of myself. I could see it all happening but I did nothing to change what I was doing. I remember behaving this way once before. It was at a time when I was at my worst mentally. I was extremely depressed and wanting to die. I don't know what I was doing just that it was odd, and I wasn't able to form words. Also when I came out of anesthesia I was there but I was not out. So I was confused and it took me a few times of opening my eyes in order to grasp where I was. I noticed the nurse was concerned and than I was able to step up. I am very stressed out by all that happened. I feel disorientated and don't want to leave the house.

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Ok, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery last week. I was in excruciating pain. It came on at midnight and came out of no where. When the ambulance arrived I was unable to talk. I said a few things but that was it. I was making strange movements with my mouth, I was in a strange position, I was unable to take care of myself. I could see it all happening but I did nothing to change what I was doing. I remember behaving this way once before. It was at a time when I was at my worst mentally. I was extremely depressed and wanting to die. I don't know what I was doing just that it was odd, and I wasn't able to form words. Also when I came out of anesthesia I was there but I was not out. So I was confused and it took me a few times of opening my eyes in order to grasp where I was. I noticed the nurse was concerned and than I was able to step up. I am very stressed out by all that happened. I feel disorientated and don't want to leave the house.

Thank God you are okay. Just please relax and recover. Immediate life threatening surgery is a shock. The past is the past and now we are just in a different time and place. I hope you get well soon.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Ok, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery last week. I was in excruciating pain. It came on at midnight and came out of no where. When the ambulance arrived I was unable to talk. I said a few things but that was it. I was making strange movements with my mouth, I was in a strange position, I was unable to take care of myself. I could see it all happening but I did nothing to change what I was doing. I remember behaving this way once before. It was at a time when I was at my worst mentally. I was extremely depressed and wanting to die. I don't know what I was doing just that it was odd, and I wasn't able to form words. Also when I came out of anesthesia I was there but I was not out. So I was confused and it took me a few times of opening my eyes in order to grasp where I was. I noticed the nurse was concerned and than I was able to step up. I am very stressed out by all that happened. I feel disorientated and don't want to leave the house.

sometimes I forget who is who on here with all the new members and name changes and so on, so question are you DID....

if so maybe you can ask your alters why they didnt help you through this and why they are not helping you now and maybe ask them to help you.

reason I say this is because any time I had a major health issue or surgery that I was having trouble handling I would be so upset/ triggered that I would have my dissociative symptoms (numb, spaced out and so on) and an alter that could handle the health issue would take over and do the talking , answering the paramedics/ ambulance people, hospital nurses and doctors questions the whole thing. this began with me with the first time as a child that the extreme abuse required treatment for infections, rips and tears, bruising all kinds of problems that come from being a very young child undergoing extreme trauma from adults in the kinds of abuses that caused me to be DID.

my point you survived to adulthood through medical treatments that came from the extreme trauma's that causes DID they can help you now too.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Ok, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery last week. I was in excruciating pain. It came on at midnight and came out of no where. When the ambulance arrived I was unable to talk. I said a few things but that was it. I was making strange movements with my mouth, I was in a strange position, I was unable to take care of myself. I could see it all happening but I did nothing to change what I was doing. I remember behaving this way once before. It was at a time when I was at my worst mentally. I was extremely depressed and wanting to die. I don't know what I was doing just that it was odd, and I wasn't able to form words. Also when I came out of anesthesia I was there but I was not out. So I was confused and it took me a few times of opening my eyes in order to grasp where I was. I noticed the nurse was concerned and than I was able to step up. I am very stressed out by all that happened. I feel disorientated and don't want to leave the house.

Oh no, that sounds very traumatic. I'm so sorry you went through all of that. I hope you recover quickly. Take care.

not been doing at all well in the last few days mood wise

not really any reason to it, just havon't

I guess one concilation (at least today), is that my mint humbugs arived so I have something to snack on!

[Loose Screw x 2]

One made a final thread post here but, no one else among us will ever post here again.
An "expert" has once again made it clear that we don't belong and are not what we claim to be but, offers no other explanation of what we are experiencing day in and day out. Maybe it is demonic possession. There is a memory about something written in the Holy Bible about how once a demon is cast out that it goes to the dessert to rest then, comes back with seven more stronger than itself. The designated driver persona or head of the consciousness once had a demon cast out of him. It was a very evil demon. He analyzed it as it left, looked into it and saw only evil through and through. It was very painful for him to learn of a being having no traces of good whatsoever and then, later being informed of seven more who are even worse coming back to take up residence in his mind and body.
Now, more than ever we are determined to get to the bottom of this.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Loose Screw x 2

One made a final thread post here but, no one else among us will ever post here again.
An "expert" has once again made it clear that we don't belong and are not what we claim to be but, offers no other explanation of what we are experiencing day in and day out. Maybe it is demonic possession. There is a memory about something written in the Holy Bible about how once a demon is cast out that it goes to the dessert to rest then, comes back with seven more stronger than itself. The designated driver persona or head of the consciousness once had a demon cast out of him. It was a very evil demon. He analyzed it as it left, looked into it and saw only evil through and through. It was very painful for him to learn of a being having no traces of good whatsoever and then, later being informed of seven more who are even worse coming back to take up residence in his mind and body.
Now, more than ever we are determined to get to the bottom of this.

I am sorry you are so triggered by someones words. Anyone on the internet can profess to be an expert on anything, but in real life they could be anyone at all. That is the nature of the internet. It is wise to use your own judgment about what people post and if it doesn't ring true with what other experts say all over the world then it probably isn't. People can say anything they want even when it is hurtful. Even when it is harmful. Even when those words don't ring true. Nobodys words can discount your reality. Take care.

[Loose Screw x 2]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I am sorry you are so triggered by someones words. Anyone on the internet can profess to be an expert on anything, but in real life they could be anyone at all. That is the nature of the internet. It is wise to use your own judgment about what people post and if it doesn't ring true with what other experts say all over the world then it probably isn't. People can say anything they want even when it is hurtful. Even when it is harmful. Even when those words don't ring true. Nobodys words can discount your reality. Take care.

One's doctor said something very similar.
One feels as though it is not accepted as one who suffers from DID or any similar condition. One feels judged and invalidated.
One feels that one's self perception is considered to be false and the individual who made the statements against ones self perception has done so before, openly instead of messaging one and trying to offer some form of help.
One believes that the individual derrives pleasure from persecuting one and deliberately seeks to do damage.
One had trouble remembering one's previous post until rereading it and memories were slowly identified as valid information. This has never happened before. It is interesting yet confusing. One's system has been hurt and stunned by this and is percieved as an attack. One of one's states has wept in anger over this. Another is disgusted with humanity and feeling much hate.
If one's system does not exist then, one must also not exist and it is all a dream or someone's fantasy. If one and one's system does not exist than nothing exists. Just an endless nightmare from which there is no escape.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Loose Screw x 2

One's doctor said something very similar.
One feels as though it is not accepted as one who suffers from DID or any similar condition. One feels judged and invalidated.
One feels that one's self perception is considered to be false and the individual who made the statements against ones self perception has done so before, openly instead of messaging one and trying to offer some form of help.
One believes that the individual derrives pleasure from persecuting one and deliberately seeks to do damage.
One had trouble remembering one's previous post until rereading it and memories were slowly identified as valid information. This has never happened before. It is interesting yet confusing. One's system has been hurt and stunned by this and is percieved as an attack. One of one's states has wept in anger over this. Another is disgusted with humanity and feeling much hate.
If one's system does not exist then, one must also not exist and it is all a dream or someone's fantasy. If one and one's system does not exist than nothing exists. Just an endless nightmare from which there is no escape.

One's system cannot be negated by some random user's words. One exists entirely independently of any random other's words. Words shmerds.
You (all) are still there.

[Amyjay]

We had a very dissociative therapy session this week. Very messy, very ugly. It was like someone had cut us all up into tiny shreds of silver paper that fluttered and swirled through this mind. We spoke fragments of thoughts, switched and changed and shifted continuously with nothing solid to hold any one thing in place.
A child alter was present when we walked out. She was disorientated and disturbed that she was dressed in a work suit and carrying a hand bag. She held the bag far away from herself because she thought it was an old lady's and she kept trying to step out of the suit somehow as she walked as though it was a costume she was trying to take off. The heeled boots just confused her.
From the inside it felt like she must have looked like those dogs that try to walk out of their dog shoes. It was both comical and distressing at the same time.

[Loose Screw x 2]

We are back to almost in our cruising mode. Our confidence in self perception has returned.
This has been a good experience to test the system's but, mainly the host's steel. There was an upset but, now things and personas are calming down.
Many are still pissed though.
The insensitivity and nerve of the attacker strikes us in such a way as to believe that they have a heart of stone and a closed mind.
We were caught off guard but, it will not happen a third time.
We can mount our steed again and return to this battle.
Music has helped in this recovery too.
"Never Surrender" by Lion and "Nothin's Gonna Stand in Our Way" by Kick Axe has been a comfort and an inspiration as have other songs.

Was about to post something un-pc (like usual)...then again I thought I would offend again...so I settled for this itty bitty tid bit of say nothing. Just to let you know....I’m not okay, but it’s okay to think I’m okay. No offense taking here.

Originally Posted by Loose Screw x 2

We are back to almost in our cruising mode. Our confidence in self perception has returned.
This has been a good experience to test the system's but, mainly the host's steel. There was an upset but, now things and personas are calming down.
Many are still pissed though.
The insensitivity and nerve of the attacker strikes us in such a way as to believe that they have a heart of stone and a closed mind.
We were caught off guard but, it will not happen a third time.
We can mount our steed again and return to this battle.
Music has helped in this recovery too.
"Never Surrender" by Lion and "Nothin's Gonna Stand in Our Way" by Kick Axe has been a comfort and an inspiration as have other songs.

Not sure what you talking about, nor do I hope it drives you away....baring our fragmented souls so publicly gives rise to insecurities and sensitivities. Believe me...I was hurt at first, but after due time a thick skin developed over what others think. I know me...you don’t know me. Piss off. I ain’t here to be diagnosed, just here to vent, get life insights, help.

What gets to me more is that I can’t reach out and grab anyone because it’s all words. That’s a trigger on it’s own. Some cry, feel suicidal, me...I want to grab hold and rip. Just saying.

We have Others that will never comeback on here again, too. They were just to sensitive for some of the words and also they are embarrassed for some of their behavior being we were just released from our self-imposed chains of the vow of silence 2-3 years ago so much we disappeared for awhile. So, it’s glad you’re back.

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

not been doing at all well in the last few days mood wise

not really any reason to it, just havon't

I guess one concilation (at least today), is that my mint humbugs arived so I have something to snack on!

Geez SS...hope you be doing okay. Heard not a word lately. I’ll drink one for ya.