[lost_lonely]

Has anyone here ever called one before? I got a couple numbers from the clinic, and am seriously considering calling one. I'm sort of nervous, though. What kind of things do they ask, if anything? I know they're there to listen to you, but I guess I feel like the other calls are more important than mine. I think I'm going to just go ahead and call them anyway. That's what they're there for, right?

I'll let you know, thanks for listening.

[dexter]

Please call.

I've called them a lot. The first time I called I was in really bad shape, the guy on the phone was very nice, he urged me to go to the hospital but didn't force the issue, he let me decide. Then he asked me for the name and number of a friend that I trusted, and he called them to have them come over to take me to the hospital.

The times I've called when I wasn't feeling like I needed a hosptal stay, they were still very nice to talk to. They are trained to listen and offer suggestions. You don't have to give them your name if you don't want to. Sometimes they've had me take a "survey" about how I am feeling, it seems to me the point of the survey is three things... to give them an idea how we are, to give US an idea of how we are as we think about and answer the questions, and to give us something to converse about on the phone. Most times we feel better just for talking to someone.

Sometimes they have offered suggestions like volunteering at an animal shelter, after I was talking about my difficulty getting out of the house but not feeling able to work again. She looked up some numbers of local shelters for me.

Mostly it is just good to talk, and also if you know you need some serious help but can't seem to ask for it, they can help you. When things aren't as bad as that they offer an ear and some conversation. You don't have to wait until you feel suicidal to call. Their called suicide hotlines, but their purpose it to prevent suicide, so they encourage you to call before things get so bad that you need help desparately.

If you ever feel bad and want to call a hotline, but aren't sure whether you feel seriously bad enough to call or not, then you should definitely call. I believe the criteria that makes calling the "correct" action is not how bad you feel, but rather just having the thought of whether you should call or not is a sign that it is time to make that call.

Please let us know how you are doing.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[SunshineGold03]

Please let us know how you made out! And do call that is what they are there for.

{{{{{{{{Lost}}}}}}}}}

Jenn

[lost_lonely]

Thank you, dexter.

The information you provided was very helpful and informative, and I greatly appreciate it. I think I probably DO need a hospital stay, but I can't without insurance, that's why I was asking about the hotlines. You see, my family is going away for the fourth of July weekend, and I really don't feel up to going with them. That's what scares me. I'll be COMPLETELY alone in my house for six days, and I'm feeling so awful I'm worried about what I might try to do.

Truth be told, there's a part of me that doesn't even want the help. I don't know if I'll feel better by Friday, that depends on how early this week turns out. Death actually sounds like a release, you're finally free of these horrible feelings and self-doubt, and hopefully move onto a "better place." This probably sounds selfish and kind of childish, but everyone who's burned and abandoned you will see your abituary, then realize it's too late, you're gone and there's nothing they can say to you. I'm sorry, but that's just how I feel.

I desperately wish I could see the future right now. Then I'd know, and I wouldn't have to constantly second guess myself and obsess about what MIGHT happen, or the POSSIBLE outcome of any situation.

Well, thanks again, I'll definitely consider everything you told me. I have a feeling I'm going to need to keep those numbers handy.

I'll keep you posted, I'm usually pretty good at discussing my problems over the phone. (or online) It's face to face that jams me up.

[lost_lonely]

I'll let you know sunshine, thanks

hugs, I appreciate your concern

[Peanut61]

Hi ((((Lost_Loney)))): Why not call; what could it hurt, right?

Also, check out <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.suicidal.com>http://www.suicidal.com</A>. I think that site is really helpful as well, and you aren't initially talking to anybody, although it does tell you all about it, (plus Dexter gave a great description).

I hope you won't kill yourself, Lost. Since it is always an option, you don't need to rush into it, right? You've paid a heavy price for admission, you might as well stick around, (here), and see how the show comes out, eh? Things could just as easily take a really good turn, instead of a bad one that we fear.

Sending positive energy/prayers your way. Most warmly, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[Beautiful_Pain]

lost

I agree with peanut, that the decision can be made at anytime. And since it isn't one to make lightly, to try other avenues before going down that path.

I hope this week goes well. And I think it's good that you have the numbers and some info if you do decide to call.

I've thought about calling them before, but had many of the same questions and fears, and haven't dialed any of them as of yet.




<font color=purple>Pain can indeed be a beautiful thing</font color=purple>

Lost - What I hear is this...options:

a) go with family, maybe have good time, or maybe be annoyed or get bored, no time alone, aggravated, etc.

b) stay home, be completely alone, increase my depression, increase my chances of self harm, increase possibility of hospitalization, increase possiblity of suicide attempt/success.

Do you see how significantly different these two options would appear if they were presented to you as choices for your best friend to make? Think of yourself as your own best friend and pick one of the options above. Which would you pick for you, your new best friend??

Seems kinda clear to me. Does it to you? I say put the hotline numbers in your wallet for another day, and start packing.

Emmy

"Compassion is my religion" - The Dalai Lama

[dexter]

And don't forget there are more than two choices...

If you are not up to dealing with the family, how about finding a friend to spend the holiday with?

If you don't want to socialize, how about having a friend come over and stay with you. You could watch fireworks on TV together.

And if you simply feel pressure being around people you know, find a community event to attend. While I was in Pittsburgh, I used to go the the three rivers "Point" park on the fourth... the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra perfomed live, a good selection of classical and "popular" favorites (including some Sousa marches) and finally after sunset, the 1812 Overture (with real canons!) leading into the fireworks.

I always felt good going there alone or with friends... I could spend the whole day there, enjoying the water and the breeze, and have a good space for when the concert started.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[dexter]

>> This probably sounds selfish and kind of childish, but everyone who's burned and abandoned you will see your abituary, then realize it's too late, you're gone and there's nothing they can say to you.

That is certainly not unusual to feel that way. But think about it... killing yourself to punish others is absolutely the WORST among lots of bad reasons to commit suicide. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

When I feel that way (believe me, I do sometimes) I always try to fight through it, use it as an excersize of anger without any plans at all to go through with it, stop and think why their attention means so much to me, think of the effect to them in the long run... lots of things other than really doing it.

It is OK to feel that way lost, but don't ever let yourself come close to acting on it. Call a hotline, confront your friends and tell them how you feel, tell other people how you feel... punch a pillow... do whatever you need to do to get that anger out without hurting yourself.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[lost_lonely]

You're exactly right, Dexter. It IS a bad reason to kill yourself, to make others feel bad. I think I said that because I just feel so unwanted and unloved right now, I just wanted the other people in my life to give me a reason to live, to show that they DO still care. Everyone is so busy these days, and I guess even a quick phone call to let me know they're still around is too much.
I'm still working on those reasons now, reasons to live. Believe or not, I still do have dreams of the future, I just need to find a way around this rough spot first.
I made a phone call MYSELF this morning, and I think I may have found a happy ending to at least ONE of my problems. I'll need to wait and see, still praying for the best. My survival depends on it.

[dexter]

Good luck and keep trying, lost.

Try calling one of your friends if you can. If there is someone you trust, maybe someone who already knows and understands a bit about your situation.

>> Everyone is so busy these days, and I guess even a quick phone call to let me know they're still around is too much.

It is very very likely that they don't know how your are feeling or how much a phone call from them would mean to you. Maybe they don't know you are suffering right now. Maybe some of them know but think that what you need is to not have people bothering you right now as you deal with it. They may think they are actively doing what they should, for your benefit. As we isolate ourselves we do actively push people away, and even friends who understand may take that as a "cue" that you would prefer to be left alone for a while.

Don't shut yourself out.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[darkeyes]

You should never contemplate about calling them, if you are that much in crisis, please call them, don't wait and never feel someone's case is more important than yours.
Tell yourself if you can take time to come here and talk to us then you should also call a help hotline too, both together may help.

(((((((((((((((( lost_lonely ))))))))))))))))))

Please take care,

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

[lost_lonely]

(((((((((((((((darkeyes)))))))))))))))))

Thanks, I hope something helps. Trust me, I AM trying to beat this.

[shakes]

Lost Lonely,
I know you will beat this!! I have had some good experiences with hotlines. I have called 1800 suicide and the guy that I spoke with was so awesome that he continued to call me back numerous times for a few months to chat and make sure that I was feeling well.
If they sense you are in immediate danger they will suggest going to a hospital but they do not force anything. They are very big on letting you regain personal control over a matter.

Stay strong hun,
Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

[darkeyes]

I tried alone too, but I went for treatment,cause I just was consumed and came close, embracing the idea of ending it all for marital and other reasons, depression, etc.
C'mon, you must stay here, on earth, we all have a purpose, rather we realize it or not, if you get treatment and follow the program they want you to follow, you will get through this.

(((((((((((( Hugs of strength for your ))))))))))))))))))


DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

[lost_lonely]

But darkeyes, it's beginning to PHYSICALLY hurt, these feelings are so bad. I'm scared of not finding another job, TERRIFIED of losing my boyfriend, worried I'll NEVER pass this stupid driving test, and just want this pain to go away.
If I have a purpose on this earth, I would love to be able to find it. Right now, I'm having visions of going down to the beach and sliting my wrists, and I HATE thinking like that! I really do!
All I want is to find peace, happiness and not be alone again. That's what I'll setlle for. If I can just have that, I'll be happy as a clam.

((((((((((((((((darkeyes)))))))))))))))), for your kind, caring words

(((((((((((((((LOST_)))))))))))))
Hey sweeteeeeeeeeee;
You can do this; understanding where you are and that something is not right is so important; I understand the feelings about not even knowing if you want to get better. I know that because of our depression we feel so alone sometimes, but you're in good company here, with so many people who understand the pain that you are facing everyday.
You CAN DO THIS!!!
You're so strong, you're a survivor; that's why you keep fighting; don't give up.
Love,
Jon

KICK THE CABLE HABIT!!! http://www.vmcsatellite.com/?aid=84152

[lost_lonely]

Thanks Jon,
Well, I certainly know where I am and something is DEFINITLEY not right. I feel broken inside, and I'm scrambling to put the pieces of myself back together.
I may or may not be going away next week, but it's AFTER that that scares me. The cards will be revealed, and I'll know for sure what's happening in my life. If it's the outcome I fear, my mind seems to be convincing itself that suicide is the ONLY answer. It's got a life of its own, I think.
I'll remember your words, jon. I'll just keep saying them in my mind, over and over.

[lost_lonely]

(((((((((((((((((((((JON))))))))))))))))))))))

[alf]

should i call if the only thing stoping me is that i don't like pain?

[somebody]

((((((lost_lonely))))))
You should call right away... they will talk to you and try to help you feel better and if they feel they can't help you they will have you go to the hospital. At the hospital they will find the right meds for you to make you feel better before they will allow you to return home.
I just got out of the hospital monday after Fathers Day... I was in for 4 days this time... I was in not long before that too... can't remember when it was. While I was in I had ECT (electric shock treatment) much of my memory was lost with it this time... the reason for the second stay was I found my suicide note I wrote that put me in when I had ECT and all the bad parts of my memory came back all at once and I just couldn't handle it...I could have stayed with family but even they thought that I needed to be in the hospital again...it does help... sometimes it takes a few different meds changes while you're in the hospital but they do find something that will help... Good luck and please seek help and soon...
Somebody