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Sounds like Fuzzy is hard at work.

posted two new messages
now I need to hide deep in my cave
so deep that no one can find me...
hide away somewhere that is safe
protected by high walls
and other things I don't need or wish to share

.....two new messages?.......wwoohhhooo!!!!!!!!!!!

.....now....dont be trying to hide in MY corner!....wwoooohhoooo!!!

.......ok.....theres three corners left were I'm staying....
......you can hide in one of the other three.....if you want....

((FP))
Good for you posting two messages!

Scary, wasn't it? You know it's all right to run from the back of the cave and stick one toe--aka a message--out and then run back in...I still do it at times.
One day you will do two toes and work your way up to the whole foot.
Our own pace and not anyone else's...

In Peace

Courage, in the final analysis, is nothing but an affirmative answer to the shocks of existence. ~Kurt Goldstein

I really like this one!
Thanks ST for sharing it.

IP

Is the glass half empty or half full?



(very old I know.. thought of it now for some reason)

Oh Fuzzy, I stopped thinking about that awhile back--I was just grateful there was something in it to drink.
If I relate that to my healing/journey/etc.? To me, it means there is something there when I thought everything had dried up...

In Peace

....what it means to me?.......the glass is niether half full....nor half empty........the water is in the middle............and as pertaining to life in general.................my take........is balance.......everyday..................
..............Cand fuzzy....with luv...as always........

The optimist says, "The glass is half full."
The pessimist say, "The glass is half empty."
The rationalist says, "This glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
~~Plato And A Platypus Walk Into A Bar~~
Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein

Maybe it's not the question itself but our reasons for asking it? Wanting to know another person's answer to validate our own answer?
Perhaps wondering about what our answer actually is if we are honest? And our answer may help us to understand what we are feeling; optimistic or pessimistic?
or
It's a crock of you know what, and we know it.
A question like this used to put me into "analysis paralysis."
My first T once told me sometimes a piece of pie is just that; there is no hidden meaning, no secret ingredient, no answer.

In Peace

This is also a place of safety for me.
Ever notice there are always people in real life and in public--whether here at PC, especially PC or elsewhere--that do not like to see the healing of anyone. I do not say healed for a reason, and most of you know what I mean by that; our healing continues, perhaps in stops and stops but we do inch forward.
No destination, no arrival. We enjoy some of the scenery along the way, other scenery makes us cringe momentarily but it can be a catalyst for movement.

As always, it's just my opinion
and it's valid
I respect yours, you respect mine. Opinions differ but they do not separate us...it gives us a way to bring together what we need for ourselves, discard what does not work, develop and nurture what does benefit us.

...my being a target may deflect it from someone else doing the best they can, needing support not criticism, me included.

It saddens me that some folks get their jollies by doing this to anyone...

......C.....

I am soooo down wit dat!!!!

I follow a healing path.....that has no time or space......and what do I expect?........and then it happens.......BAM.........healings happens on healing paths............to expect without time or space........wadda they call that blind faith?.........I stick with the people that want to heal and are healingggggggggggggg.............the others????ooohhh yeaaaaa!!!
what do they say.......PLEASE do not pee on my leg and tell me its raining!............cuz I'll bang yaaaa!!!!!......wwoooohhhhooooooo!!!!

.......life is like a box of chocolates...........FG

........................ST................

it's september
now thru dec is a very difficult/triggering/extremely sad time.......
not anyone to really talk to about it
so worn down with the back pain and other things
this just seems too much right now
and overwhelming with real life things that can't be done
because of severity of back pain.....damn, pain meds don't even work
feeling the need to hide
be held
talk
cry
go silent
give up
scream
and other stuff
feel like i've over stayed my welcome with T
how many more times will she want to hear
what the events of near two yrs ago has had on me
will it ever stop????????
keep hearing "let it go"
"it's not your stuff"
but it BECAME my stuff when i got involved
PTSD by proxy?????
fear, helplessness, hopeless situation
hearing, listening tho not seeing
not a day went by where i didn't know
didn't hear
didn't get the blow by blow description
of the terror and the pain she was going thru
24/7
triggers are everywhere right now
feel the need to totally clean house
throw everything she ever touched away
maybe that will rid me of the nightmares
the tapes that are beginning to play
i want to scream into myself
"RELEASE ME"
as the tenticles of the beast one by one
suck the reality away and
replace it with smelly inky darkness..........
and today i wonder if she even remembers
or cares....

that stinks

has T given you any evidence that she thinks you've "overstayed your welcome"?

"friends" who use us are the pits, my guess is THEY do not care
because they are only able to care about themselves
which isn't about us
its about them
and their tentacles
and their dysfunction
throwing things away sounds like a good plan...
bring the dumper along

and bring some fresh good stuff to replace it, maybe some peaches and strawberries?

GIGO

I don’t know what happened two years ago, but I can see something from fifty years ago that sounds pretty horrible to me.
Home invasion, shots fired, lives in danger. Go hide under the bed. Should have stayed under the bed! Should have kept hiding. No consoling, no consideration for your feelings. Punished for disobeying. If that’s not traumatic, I don’t know what is.
I’m no expert, but from the outside looking in, doesn’t all this stuff seem to relate?

Bruce,
In many ways you are an expert...don't discount what you have learned over the years, please.
Every one of us are experts when it comes to PTSD, no matter it's origination we share the same affects. Lingering doubts and worry that we don't live up to expectations, the feeling of never being good enough.

We are so terribly hard on ourselves, sometimes afraid to be happy--either from feeling we don't deserve it or from the fear it will be taken away from us.
Many of us look back as adults, but when we were going through our traumas...we were children, powerless. We had nothing and no one to shield us. Stumbling along and doing the best we could is about all we had available to us. If our traumas came later, the affects are the same, doubts about our worthiness and wondering if we were at fault.

The memories will shred our insides, and in some ways we can use this to move forward...it also gives us the opportunity to redefine ourselves.
Shedding light on our traumas is downright scary! We are doing the exact opposite of what we were told to do; Keep The Secrets or things will get worse.

Guess what? Things do get worse when we first start allowing ourselves to stop hiding and trust does not feel good, and we are battling two kinds of guilt--that we were to blame somehow and/or guilt we were talking about it.
Jmo, but it took years for us to be demolished and it can take years to rebuild...

Rebuild at our own pace, period. We don't walk in the same shoes, and we sure as hell don't walk in the same recovery.

In Peace

things are hard for most at the moment it seems -

i have posted a few times here but obviously not saved them lol disconnection at its best lol

sending love and hope to those who need or want it - take care

create busyness that serves as
a mirage for the paralyzing fear
help others to hide the
desire--no--desperation for comfort
that is not deserved
smile because that will surely
hide the pain and no one will question
for it is not accepted to show
fear
pain
desperation
sadness

white_iris,
Comfort is always deserved, we must allow our minds/hearts to accept it. It has to begin within ourselves, though. You do have the power within to trust your own comfort instead of giving weight to what others think we deserve...

Many of us put on masks to cover our anguish.
In my FOO, family of origin, few emotions were allowed and there was a high price paid if they were shown.

Stuffing them became an Olympic sport, a silent and deadly one. No winners, there were many defeated participants, though...

Keep at it; you've already come a long way.
Rest for a bit, and put one foot in front of the other.
Sloth steps and crawling are encouraged when baby steps are an enormous effort to inch forward.

Keep posting; you know we care, don't you?
This is one time when "others" can be a source of comfort and acceptance.

In Peace

...usual disclaimer; jmo/jme

(((((Catherine))))
Thank you
I try to believe I am cared for/about.
It does have to start with the internal "me" accepting and believing---
So very hard to silence the old tapes and get rid of the old memories that confused, invalidated, minimized, covered up---etc.......
glad for the reminder that even crawling is ok.
my crawling now is just inch by inch--slow progress--but i need the reminder that progress is progress.....
so need the caring right now.
have to believe i deserve it......
thanks again......

a high price paid in FOO
if emotions were shown
can only agree
silently

(((((((Fuzzy bear))))))))
it's ok to express yourself now.
no one around to say otherwise.
keep talking and you can cry too!!!

white_iris, don't be afraid of bumps and stumbles as you go along...some days we take 41 steps forward, other days we take 43 backwards. and this is all right. it's just the way it is; the nature of it so to speak.

Fuzzy, when we are feeling so rotten we tend to disregard any and all positive emotions for a variety of reasons. Many times those reasons are not important, but our ongoing reluctance is...

In Peace