I Really Need Help With My Therapist Relationship Please Respond Fast

Also if this does get fixed do i ever i dont know actually somebody she cares about. 4 months i think she liked and cared about me but i destroyed that. Something tells me that my want for her to like and care about me goes beyond just my sexual attraction to her. Also a problem had arose. There was a raid planned on her that i called of . Anon dosent like raids getting called of. The raid were the standard R @ D threats fake deliveries. However felonies were planned and would easily spiral out of control like typical raids do and the end result would her easily bieng fired and probaly arrested. Anon wouldnt be tracked down and i would take the fall. Obviously nothing has and/or will happen. Do i talk to her about this. This is what makes me feel so bad because i would sink so low to destroy her. I want to tell her this and apoligize and all that. But im afraid. If what i said to her this past monday threatened her, than the threat of this would be devastating. When i mean destroy her life i meant annilate. Anon has been spamming death threats to me and hacked my email. I dont know what to do. On one side my shame has been hurting me like hell. on the other the only way to get rid of it is to tell her. If i tell her i probally would get kicked out of school or possibly even arrested.

Whatever the original prob with your T., you seem to be hanging in here in spite of coming in for a lot of flack, as I read it, ~ !

In the original problem, maybe you were needing her to call you, to confront you so to speak? By wanting to hurt her, what actually were your needs - to get your own back and feel equal? To wake her up/ get a real response?

You know...this all sounds quite disturbing!! I don't know whether to take you seriously or whether you are just some bored, pubescent teen who doesn't have enough parental attention/guidance.

I think that you should print off this thread...take it to T...and discuss it.

Other than that, if you feel you...or anyone else is a danger to others lives, lively-hoods, or well beings, either physically, emotionally, financially, or psychologically, DO NOT act on anything and seek help with emergency room personnel or Police officials.

This is really all I have to say about this and I will no longer be offering responses to this post...as it seems it is beyond my scope of support that I have to offer.

Best wishes.

maybe i'm missing something here but...you are 15..it sounds like you have a sense of what is right and wrong...if something is called for that is wrong, dangerous and illegal and is going to cause felonious harm to your t and YOU KNOW about it..well then be a man step up and do something about it. if it bother you like you say it does then be the man. talk the talk & walk the walk. period.

if you value this t for what ever the reason then prove it.

allowing your friends or someone else to bully you into harming someone or whatever isn't smart, or being a man or doing anythign to win your t back..that's just plain stupid and ignorant.

your 15..i get it..it's hard. hormones, emotions ..it's been a while but i get. still it doesn't give you free reign to act like a jerk and harm someone. it some areas this gives you the age to be tried as an adult...are you ready for that if your "actions" and "raid" misfires and you get caught up in the blame?

think about the consequences. you are old enough now to make your own decisions.

sorry if i am being harsh or abrupt..but you asked for it when you posted and asked for a quick response. i think everyone has been patient and gentle but now it's up to you..be the man. you are asking tough questions..take the answers..and be responsible with them.

stumpy

I wish it was me saying this out of boredom. Your right this is coming very bad. Youre talking to the "victory at any costs kind of person" I would seek to win at any costs. I have had a very hard life, I've been cheated on, betrayed, disgraced, humilated and ive done this to other people. Anyway i might have abadonment issue. My best friend for 7 years had abadoned me. No talking, no calls, no hanging out ever. After all of my efforts he still would not talk to me. It devastated by the damage I have done to her. I do want to know what hurt her. Apparently i threatened her. I dont want her thinking that i am some pathetic ***** who cant hold a threat. Mainly because it is not true. I could of ruined her life, but at what me ruining mine. I am a vengeful person at times. You know what i can be a kind thoughtful person to. YOU Know what the Head T said to me. My T wants to go back to work with me. She actually asked when i would go back in the good way. As in she wants to work this out with me after i pretty much tore her to pieces. Why? I feel horrible about what i did but i would rather have her attack me. I have problems with attacking people. I am much more like a "overwhelming retaliation of force" kind of person. But i might feel like having a personal relationship with my T. I want to know about her. I want for her to care for me. Sue me for wanting to have a beautiful sexy kind woman care for me. I know this isnt the way to go around it. Its like the "You want the oppisite after what you have done"

yeah, but that's wrong and i think you know that.

i'm sorry for the things you have gone thru. i really am. but it in no way gives you an excuse to act violently toward anyone. everyone on the planet has been hurt in life. it's how you treat others that counts.

you said you told her you knew her personal info from searching her on the net. i'm sure that was threat enough. now you need to leave it alone.

you won't win any friends by being vengeful. you need to stop and consider the consequences of your potential actions.

she sounds like a nice person and she cares about you as a therapist. don't test her or take that for granted.

you need to deal with your hurt and stop focusing on retaliation. it's ok to be vulnerable. there are people who you can be safe with. not everyone is out to hurt you or be mean to you. how you treat others largely determines how they will treat you. if someone wrongs you let it go and move on. no, that isn't easy but if you let this anger rule you you will end up in jail. do you really want that??

it's a professional relationship. it's ok to have a crush on her but that is as far as it can go. if that is too distracting for you then it would be best to switch to a male T.

it sounds like she does care about you but you need to stop testing her NOW. if you don't there is no way she'll want to continue to work with you.

It sounds like you're really going through a lot, and that you have been through a lot. For that, I con honestly say I understand to some extent, and I'm sorry that you've had to suffer in the way which you have.

However, taking your life's toil out on your T, who is trying to help you, isn't very productive. I get being angry with your T, maybe even being a little bit snappy, but unleashing your entire arsenal of insults on her is taking it WAY too far. You have to remember, she is a person too. How would you feel if she purposefully insulted you the way you insulted her?

I think anger management could be a good thing for you. I would definitely encourage you to apologize and attempt to make things right with your T. I'm sure whatever happened, she did not intend to hurt you. T's are humans too, and they make mistakes at time.

I sincerely hope that you are able to work this out, and handle things in a more safe, productive manner in the future.

Welcome to the human race.

Yes, you have had a hard life. Look around you. So have I. Ask any person posting in this thread if their life has always been kittens and rainbows. I am betting not.

That does not justify your vindictive behavior and you know it.

What is it that you want from PsychCentral? Are you looking for people to agree with you and say, she deserved it, you did the right thing? Are you feeling guilty? Are you upset because things aren't turning out the way you want? Are you lost and cannot find your direction?

I don't understand what kind of help you want. Did you even look at the link I posted about oppositional defiance disorder?

"I have problems with attacking people. I am much more like a "overwhelming retaliation of force" kind of person. But i might feel like having a personal relationship with my T. I want to know about her. I want for her to care for me. Sue me for wanting to have a beautiful sexy kind woman care for me. I know this isnt the way to go around it. Its like the "You want the oppisite after what you have done"

okay...you are seeing this woman for therapy..for mental health reasons. if i recall you are attending a school that requires therapy as a component of attendance..correct? so..her skill has a therapist has NOTHING TO DO WITH HER PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES.

you stated she is 27. she is probably very nice to you..because that is her job. she cares for you because that is her job and she wants to see you do well and heal and function in the world. i'm going out on a limb and say she probably does not want to date you or become involved with you outside of a professional relationship due to the age difference or the lack of of professionalism it would show. there is a huge difference in what a 15 year old would enjoy socially compared to a 27 yr old. trust me.

you said you have a girl friend. talk to her. concentrate on her. seriously get a male therapist and discuss the issues you have had with this t...your feelings are normal but the obsession and wanting to harm her might be a little extreme.

you don't have to conquer everyone & win at all costs...trust me..that gets old..and eventually you'll come across some bad *** who will beat you into the ground again and again...for what reason?

you have asked for help & gotten a ton of it. read it. listen to it. you said your life full of stress and pain..well everyone's life is...of one form or another...it's how you know you are alive. everyone here has a story.

so take a few steps back, some deep breaths, talk to the girl friend without getting into a fistfight (a whole nother issue) and make some changes...you are 15..almost a man...what you do now will change how the rest of your life goes...think about it....

i wish you luck..and only the best..i wish i had the same opportunity you have now when i was your age..ah the choices i would have made....

stumpy

Thank you for the advice All of you. My behavior is unexcusable. I want help. Also your talking to someone who goes to this school for ADD/ADHD not mental health issues.
THANK YOU

It might cost you too much. In any case, what if you cannot win that way? You have to win by smarts, too...

i think the greatest gift you could give to your T right now would be to express this to her the way you have to us.

thats kind of hard. I mean for one. I dont know you guys personally or at all. Her i know nothing about. Makes sense (sarcasm) Obviously if i mention Mr.Felony i get thrown out of school., but that bothers me Right now literally 4 hours ago, me and my gf are ... gone. Thats right im devastated. The wall i thought i built in my head to filter out remorse and sadness is broken to pieces. I cant talk to her. thank you for all the advice.

Burbitine, I get the sense that you use anger, sarcasm and joking to hide the pain that is inside you. Am I right? If so you need to focus on what feelings you have now and how you can get to a better place. You can work through this but it will take effort from you and honesty. Perhaps it is too scary to share some feelings here with people you don't even know. I was here for a couple of years before I started to feel comfortable.

Or perhaps I am wrong and none of this applies to you.

Burbitine,

i'm sorry about your girlfriend..that has to hurt....

this winning at all costs thing doesn't seem to be working so good for you...its making you out to be a bully...you posted about a fistfight with her and she's now out of the picture, you've lost your t, and thats only what you have posted. winning is nice..it is..its a high..i'll admit it but being happy with friends..and at peace thats a high too.

yeah talking about the felony will get you in trouble..but i'll bet $$$ not nearly as much trouble as if it goes down and someone gets hurt and it comes out you knew and did nothing. or participated.

there comes a point in your life where you have to step up and decide what is more important your friends actions or your own...is it better to fit in with the crowd and be liked or to be liked inside your own head..you won';t have these friends all your life..but you will have yourself.

you are right you don't know any of us. we may come off an an annoying bunch of older pains in the butt...so be it. you came here for help. you are getting it. some of us are much older..some not. but we have all had to make that same choice...friends vs the person..and guess what..its something that you have to do all throughout your life.

would i let harm come to my t? no. if i could prevent harm coming to her or someone else i knew i would stop it...consequences be damned. do you think she will ever trust you after this if she is harmed? do you think any t at your school will? or teacher or any other kid?

and if you are so strong then why do you let this other person rule you like this? if you truly are a win at all costs kind of guy then why do they hold such power over you? i would think that you would be strong enough to say.."NO that is wrong, and dangerous & i won't participate or let t get hurt."

i'm not trying to rag on you just trying to help. i'd hate to see you at 15 get saddled with something that could have such a negative impact on your life.

come on...do the right thing..step up..find a male t...talk to them..be the man & friends be damned. it will be hard..oh so hard...but hey life is hard...and it isn't about winning at all costs and ruining everyone else in your way.

Thank your and guys there are no male T's at my school. I used a lot of insults trying to get rid of her. It failed. And i can not switch/get rid of her i am stuck with her. What was going to happen is not going to happen.There is now proof other than my post, still plz dont report to the police this would ruin my life Thank you for all the advice

burbitine, i didn't really understand that other post of yours but i get it now, and i want to say that you did the right thing by calling it off. be careful who and where you hang out online. anon is probably not a good crowd for you and could get you in trouble at some point. people who do things anonymously are cowards anyway. do you want to be associated with a bunch of cowards? i sure wouldn't.

UPDATE; I am going back to her. Apparently i have made amazing progress in these three weeks and i am going to go to a sesssion with her on Wendsday and the next day her alone. Bad news is that instead of going twice a week with her i go once. Is there a way i can get back to normal. HELP

You sound better. A bit more down to earth. Be honest with her. Remember: therapy isn't about winning; it's about learning about yourself. Take it a day at a time. Use what you learn. It takes time. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your t. It is a relationship of mutuality.

Thank you for that. I have come to terms of what happened. I am wondering though why i get dropped from twice a week to once a week. She had no problem with this before. Now its once a week. I am wondering how to bring it back to twice a week. I feel awkard bringing this up during this "supervised session". Before i had the luxury of seeing her twice a week. Now once and this is Tomorrow. I am wanting that luxury back if anybody can give me advice i would gladly appreciate it. Thanks.