Dear T: I need to tell you something but I don't know how. (Part III)

Dear T,
I told you the details (or what I think of as the details, who knows if it really happened that way) and it sucked and now I feel like I've contaminated you. You said you knew what you were doing with csa trauma stuff, and I sure hope you're right.

Dear T,
Do you like me as a patient? You don't have to love me, just like me. You've seen the real me coming out for a while now, and I'm so afraid you're going to become indifferent to me. With all the transference stuff going on I just couldn't bear being rejected again.

I think maybe you do like me, but then maybe it's just all UPR & T stuff to make me feel good. I really need this reassurance from you but I'm so afraid to ask. And now I have to wait 8 days before I'll have the chance to ask you again. Oh man, I hate this.

love, tooski

Dear T,

I do like you.....but I REALLY wish I could go back to my old t.....

Me

Dear T,

You said you were going to email me today, but you didn't. That' okay. I know its a holiday weekend. I was just wondering what you were going to say. Its not biggie. I can wait until Wednesday. Then again, maybe you will send it to me tomorrow?

Squiggle

Hi T!

I have more to tell you than I'll ever have time to say.

Well T, I finally canceled an appointment. And now I just feel sad. Loser.

Don't worry, I won't write you this week.

dear t,

i hate that i view you in extremes. when you go above and beyond, i feel so much love and adoration for you, and lucky to have you in my life. when you do only what's expected of you, i.e. ask me predictable questions in session and wish me a good week at the end of the session, i feel like just a paying client and i begin to hate you wondering why i ever thought you cared about me in the first place. i need to find the middle ground, my emotions can't handle it.

Dear T,

When I left your office yesterday, I closed the door behind me. When I peeked in through the window, I saw you putting your schedule book away with a huge grin on your face.

Now I KNOW you don't dislike me.

I'm pretty sure you made my week.

Dear T,

Thanks for the compliment today. What can I say, some of us are just naturally gifted! But seriously, thanks. It means a lot.

love,
me

Dear T,

No, I'm not strong and I'm not brave (I don't know where you get that - anyone can spend four years in therapy if they don't get very far).
What I am is, trying not to prove you wrong.

SAWE

Dear T!

I've been stressed and grumpy since yesterday and I don't know why.
Birthday? Easter holiday? School holidays? Real estate search? Not seeing you on Monday? Bad weather? Not enough exercise?

Dear T, what should I tell you ?,the truth? Will you refer me? I can't deal with that right now. I just wanna be numb for a little while longer.

I don't really understand why harming myself is such a bad idea. It really does help with the anxiety and it doesn't really matter because it's only me.

I think this is the attitude your T wants you to work on.

Dear T,
I have a secret and I don't know if I can ever tell you

Dear T
I am so scared to see you tomorrow. I keep canceling so you won't see what's in my eyes. The dispair....There's nothing that you can do, yet you feel responsible. Please don't; let nature take it's course.

Try telling it online first. Try emailing the Samaritans first.

Just try telling it online a couple of times. I think maybe one day I'll be able to say some things in person.

One day, maybe. But practicing online has made it easier to even say it to myself.

Tell a stranger in private, PM a friend and ask for no response...just get it out there and off you.

Dear T,

I am SO ready for us to move on. Please tell me that we are not going to talk about (_____________) again tomorrow! How many times do we need to beat a dead horse?

Squiggle

Dear T,

After all our sessions and working on my Transference issues about ex t, I really don't think that we are going to be able to ever get through this.....

Me.....

Dear T,

You're the only person who gets it. That's really scares me. What if you leave me too?

I think I'm ok with the end now... I won't tell you because I never want it to end because you were so great for me but if you ask first, I'll be honest... I'll be ok

You could write it up and mail it to your T. or hand it in person, or leave it on their desk without saying anything or something like that.

Dear T
i am feeling disjointed; in my head, life, body, feelings

like i cannot find myself.
it is very confusing
what is happening to me????

and i really hate the voices; why are they so mean?

you say they are lying and to do abcd method, but what if you made a mistake and they are really actually telling me the truth??? did you think about that??

Dear T,
I do not want to hate myself. Sometimes I can almost understand why other people don't hate me. I'm kind, I do a lot of things for others, and I have a pretty keen sense of humour. Problem is, I also know all the things that other people don't, so I know why I deserve to be despised. But I still don't want to despise myself.
I think that I thought this was something I'd get help with, when I entered therapy. Silly and naïve of me, I know that now. I don't want you to say you like me, to be clear - that would be very weird. But I'd like to see that I can be likable.
I'd also like to feel some kind of hope that I can get better.