[Liv28]

Has anyone here ever had any situation where they have been traumatized within the Mental Health System...to the point where it is extremely hard for them to seek help again within it..to seek help with a therapist or any sort. I know that it is always hard for people to initially start therapy..that is not what I am asking..I am asking if maybe anyone has ever had any problems or abuse of any kind in therapy or hospitals..of any kind? sorry if this offends anyone!

[Monty_girl]

As a teenager I was placed into a state hospital. I had been placed there after an overdose in which I came close to dying from. I had spent 5 days in ICU and then transferred to the state hospital. When I got to the hospital ( bearly able to walk on my own ) I was placed into a concreat blocked room with just a mat on the floor and a thin sheet to keep warm with. This was in the middle of Dec and it was snowing. I was left in this room for 3 days only being aloud out a couple times a day to use the restroom. It was exetremely bad there. We had no therapy. Just one social worker that came by to check on the 15 of us in one house that was only meant to house 8. We all lived in fear there. Some of the other girls there would just start fights with you for no reason. I learned to fight back very quickly. But it wasn't just the other girls to worry about, but the ppl who worked there as well. Was more then once I saw staff ppl there hit and kick patients there. One girl had the whole side of her face bruised from being thrown to the floor and the male staff member standing on the side of her head. While there one of my abusers even came to see me. That put even more fear into me. If they let him come in there what else would they do? Some girls had been there for over a year. I spent 3 months there. One day a congressman came and toured the place with some woman. I'm not sure who she was. It was the next week that they told all of us there that the place was being shut down and for us all to pack our things. I remember some girls just crying because they were finually getting out of there.

Since this has happened to me I'm extremely fearful of any hospital. I don't trust any of them ! And I won't go inpatient.

[Liv28]

Thank you Monty for sharing..I am afraid that this subject might be controversial in here and might not be received well..but I am finding there are people, such as I who tremendously have back grounds that are basically based on things such as these and have no place to turn..I have done major research all over the web and keep turning up empty on support groups..I thought maybe there might be others here..My story is different from yours..but I see we might be able to connect in some ways..thanks again for sharing..this gives me some hope in a sad and messed up reality of what was shared

Any others, sharing would be appreciated even in pms!

[Rhapsody]

I am sorry that both of you have had to endure such deep emotional pain from people and places that were supposed to help you to heal.... while I was never treated badly during any of my three stays as an inpatient I still vowed never to go back, for I did not like having my FREEDOM taken from ME - even if it was meant to keep me safe.

BTW - My T during all three stays and for 2 years on the outside was my friend & protector.... he said I did not belong in a state hospital and that he would fight to keep me from being placed in one when I left the local mental hopital - he kept his word.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

(((((((hugs for everyone)))))))

[Evangelista]

I was air flighted from out of country to a hospital in the USA, the Medical Transport Professionals left me abandoned in a busy hospital lobby..I sat there for over 5 hrs, sitting in a waiting room chair drugged and in restraints which were wraped around my waist and connected to my ankles so I could not walk but only hobble, I was under a blanket because when I arrived the lobby was empty and they needed the gurney back so they sat me in one of the many chairs in the main lobby area..but I sat watching other patients arrive and leave, families mostly, which was hard since I had been taken away from my own family, I had a 5 year old little girl left overseas along with my husband, both of which I had not seen while hospitalized due to my husband felt my personal problems were just that, and refused to be involved in any kind of treatment plan my physicians had developed..so I had all this and so much more running thru my head as I watched the children playing oblivous to my existance, waiting for their outpatient clinic and Dr appts...then someone called my name over a loud speaker..to report to the admitting desk..they kept repeating it over, and over..I finally could not stand it..I thru off my blanket..and the kids which had been playing and watching TV..suddenly stopped..ran to their parents..the people.. everyone was staring at me..I was weeping..as I hobbled thru the crowded lobby..my arms tethered to my sides, my ankles tethered together, of course they sat me about as far away from the admitting desk one could get..but when the admit desk saw me comming they were horrified...someone immediatley got me a wheel chair..the psych techs came down from the ward..there had been a goof up..a shift change..by that time I was mute..they put me in a bed and a psychiatrist came in...he was sp apologetic..but by that time I was traumatized beyond comprehension..I did not want to look at anyone, talk to anyone..I just wanted everyone to leave me alone...I have never gotten over the humiliation..they would have done none the worse by sitting me there naked.....

((((( Everyone-- soft gentle hugs )))))

yes I was raped while on a mental health unit. and is the reason why I refuse any inpatient mental health care. I even have a legal form on file with my physician, therapy agency and a friend as representative so that I will NOT be put on any mental health units again if I am deemed unable to make my own mental health decision my treatment professionals must follow that treatment plans set down by me in that legal paper. if they don't agree they have to contact my representative and she makes my decisions based on what she believes I want which is basically what is in the legal paper. and if the treatment people dont agree with her they have to go to court and prove how my plans in the legal paper are harmful and will cause more harm to me. only then can they hospitalize me on a mental health unit.

[wisewoman]

and now does anyone wonder why I hate our meducal system?

[Rapunzel]

There have been many reforms. Unfortunately, it's not completely fixed yet. We need to report abuses within the system so that those programs will be dealt with.

I left a job at a residential treatment center for teenage girls because I got into a disagreement with the management about treating the residents with respect and dignity. I didn't feel like they were. And they mismanaged staff too. They preferred to hire underqualified staff because they are cheaper. Good staff tried to keep going out of concern for the residents and wanting to provide some continuity for them, but working conditions became intolerable and the pay wasn't enough to live on, so survival forces staff who have skills and qualifications to go elsewhere when they can. I think that mental health workers need to unionize and lobby for better pay and better training, as well as better conditions for everyone in those facilities.

[Liv28]

((((EVERYONE)))) thank you all so much for sharing..I do believe this is something that needs to be talked about amoung us all..please keep sharing! I believe we are not alone in this! This gives me so much hope! I am so saddened by your stories! Love to all..and to the silent ones still out there!

[Liv28]

I did too want to add this..I have been thinking about this post all day..and I have been feeling quite guilty about posting it in the first place..I know this is my own personal feelings trying to interfere..but still..I feel, I know , that there are many good qualified T's and P's and hospitals out there..I have many friends who have benefited much from these services. But, as I am finding there are people who have fallen short..who have been tramatized to begin with or further in their recoveries and it is here where I begin to wonder-What then? Where are these people supposed to turn to now? Since the ones that have done the traumatizing are the ones that they were sent to for healing..
I have read the stories on here and I have to admit, mine does not even compare to the horrors that some of you, all of you had to endure..my story seems so small now..and I look at all of you and think..if they have survived..then so too can I.
Its just hard when the ones around you can not possibly understand because they have not been there..and you feel as if you can not trust a soul to talk to on the outside because those outside sources were the result of such lies and torment before..
Again..I DO know there are good T's and Hospitals out there..I want no one to think that I am bashing them in general..Thank you all for listening and again for sharing! HUGS!!

[froggie2]

[jennie]

I have PTSD. For 10 months, I received psychiatric treatment from a hospital's inpatient or partial inpatient ward.

I was overmedicated and prescribed drugs that were doing much harm to my mental health and physical health. However, the psychiatrists told me, "You need to be on these drugs for the rest of your life."

Many of the other PTSD patients were also being overmedicated. However, I was one of the few lucky patients who had other counselors providing me real therapy, one-on-one patient-center counseling.

I felt like a zombie on those meds. The other patients looked and acted like zombies, too.

With the support of my husband and under the care of the hospital, I indefinitely stopped taking all psych meds against medical advice. (I continue with the one-on-one counseling.)

I don't think the proper treatment for PTSD should be doping patients up on tons of drugs. How will PTSD patients ever learn to cope with PTSD while being zombies on meds?

Emotional pain must be addressed, not numbed. Pain-killers, sleeping pills, sedatives, and etc., only add to the PTSD patient's avoidance of dealing with the trauma. Thus, sedating PTSD patients is a major abuse in which that hospital is guilty of doing to their mental health patients.

If I could stand in front of those psychiatrists today and tell them how wrong they are for what they did to me, what they are doing to their PTSD patients now . . . . If I had the courage to write THE WASHINGTON POST . . . .

[January]

Jennie said:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Emotional pain must be addressed, not numbed. Pain-killers, sleeping pills, sedatives, and etc., only add to the PTSD patient's avoidance of dealing with the trauma. Thus, sedating PTSD patients is a major abuse in which that hospital is guilty of doing to their mental health patients.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I have PTSD and my medications make my life livable. I neither hide nor run from the things that gave me PTSD, but I do need help in order to function and to be able to sleep.

What I am trying to say is that each patient is unique. While Jennie might not need meds to deal with her PTSD, I and many others, do. Each to his or her own.

Jan

[jennie]

I'm writing about my personal experience of abuse in the mental health system.

For the hospital I was admitted inpatient psych and partial . . .

It seemed it was the standard of care to sedate all newly admitted psych patients diagnosed with PTSD patients with sleep meds, antipsychotics, antianxiety and antidepressant meds. That's a highly numbing mix of drugs.

We (psych patients) compaired diagnoses and meds with each other.

My case is about how the psychiatrists treating me and other patients were doing more harm than good. I was a zombie on those meds. The other PTSD patients I saw taking that medication coctail also were zombies.

PTSD is not a brain disease. PTSD is a normal stress reaction to abnormal, traumatic event(s). There is no magic pill for PTSD. Avoidance is a main symptom of PTSD. The drugs contributed to the avoidance of stressors.

Why were we not taught how to cope with stressors without being intoxicated?

Group therapy sessions were sluggish. We could barely stay awake, let alone alert.

It took me a long time to learn to question the opinion of the psychiatrists. After I refused meds, I received a lot of support from the nurses and psych techs on the ward. The nurses gave me daily positive feedback to help me stay off the psych meds. They'd say how good I was doing or how much better I appeared to be. Yet the psychiatrists were freaking out I wasn't taking my medications. Apparently, the nurses had a problem with the way the psychiatrists were overmedicating the patients with PTSD.

Gosh, this brings back so many memories!!!!

[Liv28]

So, I was hoping somebody could answer my question on where it is that people are suppose to turn if they have been abused in the mental health system. Has anyone maybe seen any sites on the internet, any support groups, anything? I just feel that this is a subject that nobody really wants to talk about and I suppose I can understand that. Can I maybe ask the people that posted on here where it was that they turned to after what happened to them? and then I will drop this subject, for I see it is doing nobody any good, especially myself.

Thank you all for listening once again..Liv

I think its done allot of good. Now everyone doesnt feel isolated in their experience. Its true it hurts to remember, but healing comes from giving yourself a voice and im so proud of everyone who found theirs.

I think ..depending on the abuse, you can turn to the police, the state licensing boards/organizations, and their state reporting organizations. I've visited the one in my state online and you can view which therapists have their license revoked, pending, etc.

Hugs for all

ev

no I don't know of any websites. for me its kind of my having to get used to the fact that like not every man is a rapist because I was raped thatnot every mental health agency and therapy professional and facility is going to put me through what I went through. That doesnt mean Im going to sign up for the next inpatient slot either. LOL I know because I have friends that have going to the local MHU they all claim it went great for them . Ok it went great for them so not all facilities is a rape of the inpatients going to occur BUT for me I would rather still do t he out patient programs. I know that I can now enter a hospital setting because I do so every year for my medical procedures but for me being on a MHU it would trigger memories of being raped on a MHU so I dont want to trigger myself that way. Kind of like a person who while driving gets into an accident and then they decide never again to put themselves in that situation again. they recognize that not every time they drive a car will they have an accident. The just prefer not to put themselves in that situaiton again.

It takes time to get to this point where you will not see danger with each and every agency that is associated with the type of care in which you were harmed but you will get there. Talk with your therapist about it. They can help. SKR was a fantastic help in getting me over that hurdle when I had to enter hospital settings for cancer treatment.

[Liv28]

thanks for sharing Esther and Myself..

Myself. I don't go to a T..that is my point..my problems stem from years of manipulation, mental abuse, over medication and four hospitilations that I should NEVER have had. Its a very LONG and confusing story...and one that I have had no luck in finding many believing..it took ten years out of my life..leaving me empty and with voids of my memory now gone..I was lucky in the fact that I survived and escaped all of that..I ran as fast as I could and I didn't look back..and that day..the day I stole my freedom back was the day that I started getting better..telling me only one thing..I was right, and they were wrong.

For ten years, I had been lied to...my family had been lied to..and we had believed them..It took me about three years to get my life together..to have a sense of normalicy..but I did it..I got married..I have been holding a study job..I am even in college for christ sakes..something they said I would never ever do! and now..now all this is coming back to me..seven years later and these memories are flooding in out of no where..flashing during the day..keeping me up at night..coming in my dreams if I sleep..and everyone is like you need to talk to a therapist..but they just can't understand that despite that I understand that my rationilizations tell me that not all therapists are bad..I just can't bring myself to go! My fear is first a therapist..then a hospital..then my freedom..It took me ten years to proove them wrong the first time..I guess I am wondering if I proved anybody anything! I guess I am wondering if I am just looking for someone to blame! I know they aren't right about me..but sometimes I wonder..I just wonder..

Boy..that was depressing!! sorry

no sorry needed hang in there.

[Liv28]

okay..so I just wanted to write this..I have been doing alot of thinking..alot..I am wondering why after all this time, after seven years, that these memories might be resurfacing..and of course the answer is quite clear, right? I obviously have some issues that I have not quite let go. So, I am thinking now that I know this..I should be able to move past it all..let my anger go and move on with my life. This is what I plan to do. Ive always told those that have been victimized that they can take their lives back..yet here I am not listening to my own advice and continueing to let my past rule my life. I no longer will allow this to be so. I have always been strong, stubborn, and hopeful but lately I have lost sight of who I am. I appreciate all the support from all of you on here but I believe that I will be weening my time off of here for awhile. I need to focus on where I need to take my life now..and not where my life has been..and when I am here I find myself thinking only of my past..this seems silly to me..but I am trying to be honest. I will check in from time to time..Love to all! Liv

[Monty_girl]

((((((((((((((((((( Liv )))))))))))))))))))))))

Take your time and do what you need to do for yourself. You know where we are and that we'll be here for you if you need us.

Lisa

[mssumom]

I spent more than 2 months hospitalized several years ago when my kids were little. Alot of it is vague because the docs changed my medication so frequently nothing had time to work and there was so much of it. When my husband (now ex) didn't think he was getting the results that he wanted he moved me to another hospital that did ECT treatments. The most barbaric thing ever and has kept me from ever getting inpatient treatment again. He of course had his own motives for getting me the ECT treatments and wiping out some memories but now even looking back at pictures of my kids when they were young the memories are fuzzy and sometimes non exsistant which is so frustrating. I would guess that ECT treatments have probably changed alot over the past 15 yrs but though alot of memories were erased one that wasn't is how the procedure worked. I know mental health hospitals have done wonders for people and continue to do so but because I felt like I was treated more like an animal than a human it is someplace I can't imagine ever going to willingly again.

[Rapunzel]

Liv, you were traumatized by your experiences. Sometimes our brains don't process traumatic memories properly, so they are stored in such a way that they keep getting pulled up and replayed when we don't want them and it doesn't help us to be reliving that.

It is really unfortunate that your trauma is associated with therapy, and the idea of trying therapy again brings up those memories for you. We can keep telling you that a lot has changed and it won't happen again, but that doesn't seem to be helpful. There is a reason why this is still so vivid for you, and there are effective ways to treat that. I wonder if you tried one of the newer therapies that is very different from what you experienced before, and had legal documents to establish that you are not willing to enter inpatient treatment again, if you would be able to do it. EMDR is one of those newer therapies that helps to process trauma memories properly. It's quite different - you don't even have to talk about the memories much, just think about them and use rhythm and eye movements while processing the memories. I guess you have to choose between facing and overcoming your fears, even though it is very difficult fo you, or living with them. You can also try self-help and support groups and try to heal on your own. How would you feel about group therapy? If you are motivated enough, you will find a way somehow.

Here are some websites you might be interested in:
http://www.energyhealing.net/site_map.htm Energy therapies (EMDR, DNMS, EFT, etc.) - particularly for trauma-related disorders
http://www.psychologyhelp.com/book.htm Be Your Own Therapist e-book (self-help)
http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org/ Self-help (covers anxiety, depression, change & insight)