Couch 79: Spend some time on Couch 79 (snap, snap)

I just did my laundry later and went out but ended out getting a nil in the rental car tire so had to get that car switched out , I just want to be home . no sun it is raining here but it is what ever at this point im going home tomorrow

I love this idea. sometimes people have no idea how horrible they sound to the people they love

I did get away and got a nail in the car tire lol oh well just how things are .lol did I say im going home tomorrow lol

Laughing to myself because I just used Stopdog as a verb. Stopdogging it. hahahaa. I crack myself up.

Stopdog, my T and I actually use your name in therapy as well. He asks me sometimes if I am refusing to cooperate due to my inner Stopdog, or if there is some other reason. He knows better than to ask about my inner child, but I am cool with my inner Stopdog.

Murphy's Law. It's a b****. Kinda like your mom
Sorry if that was a bit much... I am glad you're going home tomorrow.

Thanks MKAC I think I will do this. I will have to work out exactly how but thats a brilliant idea. I had thought of it a few years ago but now technology has improved it should be fairly easy... I am going to do it. Thank you.

Thank you so, so much JustShakey. I really needed to hear this today. Thank you. I believe you. I know deep down you are right and I do believe you. Thank you so much. I do exactly that - I look to him for validation and acceptance. I try so hard to please him and do the right thing but it is never good enough. I kind of see this now. I try so hard every day. I am continually walking on eggshells. I can see this now. I do everything to make the house run smoothly and to avoid conflict but I am beginning to change (I think). I don't want to be treated like this anymore. It is so cruel and so unfair. I deserve better (I think).

I also don't want my boys to think that this behaviour is acceptable and I don't want them to ever treat a partner like this.

Thank you so much.

Thank you for saying I belong here - this means so much. I have never felt I belong anywhere. Xx

Thanks Artemis, yes, it's worth another try there for me: I played wallflower there to a writing group for a while, but with my schedule I simply couldn't make it work at this juncture (but in 8 months, much more likely!) so I gave up on group meetups for a bit, but I should look again!

Thanks.

I've gotten a second round of replies from some of my latest ad respondents, so that's interesting.

am I allowed to count down in hours how long it is before I head home. I know after I leave here I am never coming back. the mother is retiring in December and will have no reason to not come to me if she needs help

Heck we are counting down the hours FOR you

Im already at the airport with your limo:



We're fighting over who gets to drive you home:

Granite...this really isn't my place but I'm going to say it anyway... Please talk to your T and your H about the day your mom really needs permanent help... Please please do not let your mother move in with you... There are so many steps other choices...like assisted living... Retirement centers...retirement homes, etc.. Have your H refuse to allow it in case you ever forget this week or get to feeling really guilty! You could chose one of those options in your state if that is better for you.

Remember what Wiki went through....

Stepping down off my soapbox now

Has anyone read the book: Running On Empty..Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect?

If so, what did you think?

PC is going too fast for me tonight. I can't keep up, I at least read all the couch posts!! Hope all are better here today. The other threads are a blur and my head might pop.

Im reading it off and on.

How did you hear about it? What do you think of the steps to change if there are any?

No driving licence here so I'll have to fight for my right to bring her home by taxi.

Oh, do I ever know the feeling of trying so hard and always walking on eggshells The thing is, you can never give enough, because the more you give, the more he demands and the more you try to avoid conflict the more he creates it. It spirals down and down until you're a shadow of yourself.
The only way to stop it is to just say no. Refuse to play his game. It's bloody hard, and the backlash from him at first is terrible, but it works. I know. I've been there.
You *are* changing, getting stronger. One of these days you *will* be able to stand up to him. Be gentle with yourself. You've been hearing his nonsense for a long time. It's hard to break the cycle; it takes a lot of courage and you're doing it. Hang in there Alone. Keep being strong and don't ever give up on yourself.

I'm not going to join the fight to drive you home. I'm just going to hop in the backseat and crack the most annoying yo mama jokes I can come up with all the way home

Had the therapy session from Hades. May I crawl under the couch for a bit?

Mast... I hope it was the subject and not the T! Sending lots of

OMG you are all so awesome . it was so amazing to get up this morning and read all your responses .I don't care if you all showed up in a rented VW van with a spare tire hanging on the front I would be so pleased. and all about the yo momma jokes . 3 hours left and I am out of here.

mast are you ok?

omg omg omg my T responded to my e-mail. she only said we can deal with this on the 30th. I didn't want her to respond she never does .I like that . now I don't know if she is angry at me or not .I don't know what deal with this means. it sounds angry and threatening . I don't think I will be going back to see her

thank you granite - yes, I'm ok. I feel really sad and I was almost unable to speak with T, but he handled it well and the session ended with me at least telling him in general what it was I couldn't talk about. I told him I need more help when I get all tied up in my own spiralling thoughts. I'm just afraid that he is getting tired of me. I am getting tired of me.
But in two hours I'm teaching and that will probably get me in a better mood because my students are so great, and it means I am forced to think about seminar preparations instead of my own failure.

And here's the car I'll bring.

(((granite)))
I am sure she is not angry. It can be really hard to pick the right words in an email, but I bet she simply meant that on the 30th she would like for you two to discuss it.
Don't quit. And maybe try not to think about this while you're still at the mother's?