Anger Release In Therapy Session

Has anyone wroked on this? Done a few sessions and released all the anger inside? I am going to do this, as soon as my T works out how to do it that allows me to release it but still be safe! There is so much anger in me, and I have never been able to let anger out, I am so scared to do this.......has anyone done this in therapy?? If yes how did you do it, and how did it make you feel during and after?? If I do this I feel like everyone will just leave, or I will hurt somone.......

I have never showed anger in therapy. I need to. Anger is a strong motivator for me to talk. My therapist just doesn't push my buttons to make me angry. Some days, I wish she did!

I would thinking during you'd feel angry. After, probably a little bit of relief and apprehension. To get an emotion as strong as anger will lift a lot off your shoulders, however, it could make you worry about showing that anger and cause apprehension.

I think it'd be wonderful if your therapist can think of a way to have you release this somehow safely in session. If you do this, no one but you and your therapist have to know about it. He is not going to leave you over it because he has set it up for you and made it a safe emotion for you to finally feel. You will not hurt one in this process. It's a very, very healthy thing.

Never worked on that in session - but I wish you much luck and I'm glad your T is working so hard to help you.

T once had a padded table set up and gave me a plastic bat to whack it with. The first time was ok, but the second time I really couldn't get into it, and, in fact, it was too loud for me. It reminded me of trauma. It was not my cup of tea, so to speak so we haven't done it again.

Good luck. Your T sounds caring, so I'm sure it will work out safely.

My T really wants me to do this, he says that my anger is what is holding me back from healing right now. But he wants to make sure I am safe and take it as slow as I can. He knows how scared I am to do this, and my fear of losing everyone because I release it. I turn the anger inward now towards myself, by self medicating and cutting.

I finally told him yesterday in email that I would do this, he emailed me back today letting me know he needs to think about how to do this in a safe place, and that he thinks I should take a few sessions to take it slow. Not sure he realizes how scary this is for me, I tried to tell him that on the phone. He said he wouldn't leave me, and there wasn't anything I could do or say that would shock him or push him away.

The last time I came close to letting the anger out, was 12 years ago when I was pregnant for my youngest. I had a fight with my brother, and I was scared to see how much anger was at the surface, and how much I wanted to hurt the one hurting me. It wasn't a fight that warranted so much anger, I couldn't control it. Everybody sees me as someone different, I have put on the face for so long that I don't even know who I am anymore.

I disclosed to my family about 3 months ago, I know alot of the puzzle fell into place for some of them. Over all most of them are very supportive right now, one brother that abused me apologized to me. Another hasn't admitted doing wrong, and is still saying I "wanted it", I was eight when he started with me! He comes to my house after being told not to, and intimidates me, I freeze to that little girl again.........

My T says I have come along way in the last year, he has helped me so much, I trust him and believe in him. I just wish sometimes he knew the fear I still have about just talking about what I went through. He gets it but doesn't all the time. I started seeing him for bearevement counseling, after mom died. He knew something else was going on inside my head, and after about 4 months with him he got me to talk about the CSA, and disclose for the first time to anyone in my life. We have done role playing, he was my Dad and I was me, we have done hypnosis for healing and finding a safe place for me, hypnosis to stop abusing the ativan. I have done alot with him, told him everything and yet this is really scaring the hell out of me for him to see me out of control!! I don't understand what is happening and why I don't want to do this????

Wow that was longer then I planned it to be........sorry, but thanks so much for the replies it helps alot to know I am not alone in feeling this way!

Yeah. Familiar feelings. You are not alone.

This is a big thing in therapy for me. I get very angry at him during session sometimes and we are still working on the expression of that, but it is getting easier as the weeks pass. In the past, I was never able to express anger towards him for fear that it would "ruin" our relationship. (This is a similar feeling I have in regards to my relationship with my father). One time I was angry at T and I must have been staring at my water bottle... and all of a sudden he goes, "You know... you can tell me how much you want to throw that bottle at my head right now. You can't do it, but you can talk about it." And that sort of opened up the doors for anger expression in therapy. Another thing that helped (but was hard ) was a time in which I left session very angry and him and I went home and expressed all the anger in my journal. I brought the journal to the next session and he really wanted me to read it to him. So finally I did. Calling him every name in the book and all. Boy did it feel good after doing all of that. You know why? Because he stayed. And he's still there. I have gotten to the point in which I can say, "I am angry at you right now because...." or "I hate you right now because..." or "I want to throw that lamp at you right now because...." And recently he has begun to share his feelings back. So occasionally, yes, my anger will affect him in a way in which it can be hurtful to him.... now he tells me when he feels anger, too.... or when he felt anger in a previous session, but didn't want to address the feelings... just like me... it really, really helps to know all that... because it allows me to see him as a human.

Can I just say that my T has said that I can throw something at him if I want? That's how much trouble I have expressing anger. He says he wouldn't say it to anyone else, but I could throw the pillow on the couch at him if I wanted to. It's interesting to see the ideas therapists have about expressions of anger.

I just thought "Wow" when I read what you've achieved recently with your therapist and disclosing to your family. I'm so impressed. You can give yourself time to work out why you're so fearful about being out of control with your therapist, so that you're more comfortable with it when it happens. And as Pinksoil says, you don't actually have to be out of control, you can be angry with people and discuss the problem quite reasonably.

I am not sure how it will go, I know that there is so much anger in me right now that I don't think I could addresss it without losing it. My T wanted me to take a self defense course to help me protect myself and gain some self asteem. So my daughter and I signed up for the class through the police dept. That was in March, it was a 6 week course, classes were 3 hours long. When we were learning the moves and hitting the bags, I could feel the power behind my punches, the anger was flowing right with the hits, it felt good to do that. Then we had our last class wich was a series of scenerios, there were 6 police officers in full protective gear putting us through scenerios. I could feel the fear creeping in during each scenerio. By the time the third one came for me to do, a officer grabbed me and pinned me down underneath him, and I went into a panic mode, I had a flashback of my Dad and totally lost it, I rolled him off of me, and stood to run and another officer blocked my way, I literally cold cocked him in the side of the head and sent him to the ground, and then I kept running right out the door, the woman running it had to catch up to me, I was so out of control, my daughter saw it, everyone in the class saw it. I was angry afterwards at my T for suggesting this, angry at myself for not realizing what it would do to me, angry at myself for letting my daughter see mom that way. I had to sit my daughter down, she knew some what about what happened to me when I was growing up, but I told her everything that night. We are closer now then we ever where, but a 13 year old shouldn't have to see that with their mom. I was scared that night at the am,ount of anger I could release, and not think about what I was doing to the other person, I know I was in a full blown panic attack, but it was scary.
My T said that disclosing to my family would be the hardest, and it was very hard to sit in my living room and tell my 8 other siblings what my Dad and 2 of my brothers had done to me, I had written it down so I could just read it, the abuse stopped when I was 17 I was pregnant with my Dad's child. I had an abortion and I know how hard it was for them to hear that, they always thought my mom was the one that screwed the family up for years, they had Dad on a pedestal for so long, he died 19 years ago. Dealing with everything now, the emotions the feelings, the suicide thoughts I thought that once I told my story they would go away, but they aren't. They are stronger now then when I was the keeper of the family secret!!

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confused4ever said:
...my daughter and I signed up for the class through the police dept. That was in March, it was a 6 week course, classes were 3 hours long. When we were learning the moves and hitting the bags, I could feel the power behind my punches, the anger was flowing right with the hits, it felt good to do that. Then we had our last class wich was a series of scenerios, there were 6 police officers in full protective gear putting us through scenerios. I could feel the fear creeping in during each scenerio. By the time the third one came for me to do, a officer grabbed me and pinned me down underneath him, and I went into a panic mode, I had a flashback of my Dad and totally lost it, I rolled him off of me, and stood to run and another officer blocked my way, I literally cold cocked him in the side of the head and sent him to the ground, and then I kept running right out the door, the woman running it had to catch up to me, I was so out of control, my daughter saw it, everyone in the class saw it. I was angry afterwards at my T for suggesting this, angry at myself for not realizing what it would do to me, angry at myself for letting my daughter see mom that way. I had to sit my daughter down, she knew some what about what happened to me when I was growing up, but I told her everything that night. We are closer now then we ever where, but a 13 year old shouldn't have to see that with their mom.

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I don't see this as a bad reflection on you. (At least I can see that, it being you. If it were me, maybe a different story!) It would be good if the police officers and instructor understood some of what was happening too. Maybe they did.

I understand your fear of losing control much better now. Does it help at all to know that you really can protect yourself - you dealt with the two cops! You weren't to know what the strength of your reaction would be, but I feel for you having to deal with the aftermath. I guess that's why your therapist is being careful about the approach to help you release your anger.
Presumably the abuse is far more real at the moment than it has been since it happened, with disclosing to your family, and working through it in therapy? If this is true it makes sense to me that the suicide thoughts are strong now. And there is the thing about self-destructive thoughts being anger turned inwards.
It's good that one brother apologised. Can you do anything about the other one - he sounds despicable. Can you / would you want to get a court order against him to stop him coming over? Or sue him for the abuse at some point?

(((((((confused4ever)))))))

If I were approached by a stranger I know I could probably handle myself, but when my brother is here I freeze, I turn into that little girl again. Last year he was coming home for a visit, it was before I disclosed to anyone but my T and husband. He kept calling the house and I ignored his calls, finally with my T telling my husband in a session to handle Paul for me, the next tme he called my husband told him he wasn't welcome here, and that I was dealing with issues from my childhood and until I was ready he was to stay away and stop calling. Well the day Paul came to town, he showed up. My husband wasn't home at the time, the kids were, but as soon as he came into the house he told me to give him a hug and a kiss, I froze and did what he asked. My T happened to call, swear he has ESP, he stayed on the line with me until my husband came home about 20 minutes later. He told me that my brother was still intimidating me, and that was his way of letting me know to keep my mouth shut. He has since been here a few more times, last time he pinned me down, and......I can't say anymore on that right now.... .
everytime he shows up I freeze.........I can't say no, or fight him, I feel stuck.........I hate me for it, I am such an idot for letting him use me. My T thinks I am under reacting to his abuse, my two older brothers want to pay him a visit, I am confused on what to do, my T says let them protect me, he wants to go with them to visit Paul. I feel like nobody should hurt someone else over me, I am not worth it. I am so confused with all this, I have to stand up to my brother, to end the abuse, but I can't seem to find it in me. My T says I have to stop thinking like the abused little girl, and start thinking like the adult I am now.........this is a huge battle for me!!!! I turn the anger in on me and abuse myself. Sometimes I don't think I deserve to be happy, actually all the time lately!!

So I have my T appointment in an hour, nervous. Sent him some pretty scary stuff in emails this week, on how I am feeling and we are talking about the anger release sessions. I wrote things out that I need to say, I get in his office and the emotions over whelm me and I end up saying nothing, just staring at his fountain he has in his office, I used to use it as a focal point, now I use it as an escape from the issues!!!

So my session came and went. Went in with three things on my list only managed to get two out. The last one was to painful. He tried relaxation with me to help me talk about it, but it was no use, I was so anxious that I could of climbed the walls in his office. The anger release sessions will be taken slow, he talked with his collegue and and she told him that for CSA survivors the anger release has to be taken slow, otherwise if it came to fast and to quick it could backfire and set me way back in my healing. So he is still thinking of how to do this.

After all that we talked about, and me telling him that the suicide idealations are so strong right now, that I asked my minister that if something happened to me that I wanted her to handle my eulogy, he then tells me he is gone for the rest of the week and in and out next week, I don't go to him until the 31st.........so that didn't set well with me and I voiced my opinion, because I am in a panic now with him here, how do I do it without him. So he told me I can email everyday or call if talking to him will help........he isn't going anywhere!!! So that made me alittle at ease........I am going to call the child protective services on my brother, he remarried in Feb and his new wife has a 8 year old daughter...........................I am so scared at what will happen, speaking out isn't what I have been taught alll my life..............I know this is something I have to do for that little girl...........she cannot go through this........I don't even know if he is abusing her, but I don't believe he isn't, not after what he has done to me lately................I know I am just ranting here..........and that I am not making sense and that this is probably not what anyone wants to hear...........but at least writing it helps me with my feelings...........

Hi c4e, can you realise somewhere inside you that you feel like you don't deserve to be happy because of the abuse? Maybe it's too hard because you are still thinking like the abused little girl. Do you feel bad in some way for disclosing? ALL of this pain is down to your brothers and your father. YOU are a worthwhile person, and it is quite the opposite to what you think, you ARE worth Paul getting punished, and you DO deserve to be happy. After all you've been through. If your T went with your brothers to his house would it necessarily end in violence?

Therapists, huh! I'm glad you spoke up and that you can stay in touch until the 31st.

My heart goes out to you for helping your step-niece, really. I hope that the CPS respond sensitively, and help you through the process. The rest of your family sound very supportive of you, are you going to let them help you too?

Can you use your experience as the adult looking out for your niece, to find the adult part of you to look after your inner child? The threat of Paul coming round must be a HUGE stress. If you can find a way of stopping it, would you feel less suicidal?

We are all here for you. Please believe what I have said about you, and don't kill yourself. If you need to don't be afraid to go to the hospital to keep you safe. This is so much to deal with but once it's done..... I know it won't be all plain sailing from there, but surely it will get easier.

Debbie