Struggling deeply

Definitely wont. Ruining his life won't make me feel better. Not the kind of person I am
My own mom would be in jail if I was

But ya I'll hold off a bit. Someday i may want to look back without anger

^I'm sure it will...I'll never forget him but like with my dog, it gets easier to manage in life.

However, this will serve as another lesson in trusting people. Only keeping me more isolated and distant. It happens way too much to me. I can't keep doing this to myself.

I'm trying to get the courage to delete all the pics, and texts and emails related to him. I can't look at any of that again without feeling like I was played but yet, I can't do it

I assume it's not normal to have over 100 pics of your t, that he ok'd you taking/having? Oh well it must be, because he didn't break any boundaries or anything or it was because I wanted it, damn, if I knew he was that big a push over, I should have asked for money

Your T in supervision with my T would be quite the event.

That's fine and you can see it that way. I wont ever do it. Nothing will convince me. He wasn't all bad. Even if it was fake he made me believe I mattered. He helped me through losing my dog. I'm gonna focus on the good not this.

That's fine and you can see it that way. I wont ever do it. Nothing will convince me. He wasn't all bad. Even if it was fake he made me believe I mattered. He helped me through losing my dog. I'm gonna focus on the good not this.

I didn't want to post here anymore as it was causing me to feel more tense and worrisome with my own therapy but it looks like it's all ending soon anyway.

Got a bombshell that t is leaving in just a few short weeks (before xmas) and going to a whole new career.

Since we have been super close, I thought there might be hope to keep in touch or something but he said no. Went on about ethics even though he isn't going to do therapy anymore, for some reason, is renewing his license. I can't even deal with this.

Last year I had the worst loss of my life around the holidays with my beloved dog and T helped me through it, now I'm losing him before xmas and no one to help. I feel like our whole relationship is a lie and he was only nice to me out of pity.

All I can take away from this is that it was a bad idea to trust and be close to someone, something I wont allow to happen again. I knew he seemed 'too nice' to really actually like me or care.

I'm not sure how to even go on, I've got nothing in my life anymore. Just my other dog who is almost 16 and wont be here much longer either. I WONT go to therapy with anyone else, especially after this... no way. I can't try trusting someone again, not worth it.

Only 3 sessions to go and it's goodbye forever, idk how to cope. I'm not even sure I can go to the last one. I'm just so broken. Angry I ever tried therapy in the first place.

I'm gonna ask if I can do 2x a week the last 2 weeks. I mean, it will give me 4 sessions, so like a months worth... and I can still use one of them to cry/vent. I want to use one to work on goals and steps to get there... and one to talk about the good stuff. We will see what he says

At this point, I don't see what the issue is, not like I am gonna depend on someone who is losing his phone and email in 2 weeks, either way, I'm cut out.

I am ashamed to admit, this has really messed me up, I tried to drive off the road earlier today. I thankfully didn't hit anything because my dog was with me.

I'm just in such shock. I can't believe this man who seemed to really like me and went out of my way for me, was just acting, for 20 months.

He went on to basically blame me for everything, saying he did all the things he did with me because I asked him too.... and that he regrets doing out of office work. He claims being with me outside the office made him uncomfortable which is why he is not open to a friendship, even after 2 years "It will always feel too weird and professional" too him.

He felt cold and distant. Barely saying anything to my sadness. Not seeming to understand or care at all.

*sigh* i'm sorry... your Ts behaviour towards you in your last session leaves me with nothing nice to say

ex-T gave me a similar speech when he regretted blurring the boundaries and 'giving in' to an idea, when ironically, it was his idea to fully follow through with it in the first place. similar to your T, ex-T later regretted doing it and tried to put the blame on me. in the end he was doing nothing more than covering his own selfish arse.

unfortunately, we see this time and time again by the stories shared on this forum. it's an incredibly painful lesson to learn when you come to realise that one of the persons you've shared your most vulnerable parts and trust with is only looking out for their own needs and feeding their selfish tendencies i know that this was not the lesson i was intending to learn when i signed up for therapy, but it's probably the one that has left the biggest lasting impression on me and has definilty taken a bit of time to recover from.

be kind to yourself

The part I can't deal with most is him saying he felt uncomfortable with me.

If a friend said that to me, I'd also be hurt. I did think it was open and honest from him but it does not mean it didn't hurt. Why would anyone enjoy hearing that, from anyone else?

I did not mean to suggest anyone would enjoy it but, at least for me, I usually value if a friend tells me directly if something about me or what we do makes them uncomfortable - then I can pay attention and do things differently. It usually does not mean they don't like me or don't care, more the opposite. And I also like if I can be that direct with a good friend. It is not pleasant but an effective way to resolve issues in a relationship, IMO. But from a T to a client, I think they should not say anything like that or do it very carefully and thoughtfully, also time it well. I am pretty sure Ts feel uncomfortable around many things with clients, just like most people with work challenges sometimes. But they are not paid and called professionals to voice their discomfort, especially without a therapeutic reason for the client.

I am truly sorry that you are hurting so much. However, I really do think he’s done you a massive favour. His lax boundaries have already damaged you & although at this point, it doesn’t feel like it, but in time you will see that he’s given you the best gift of all, by not being in your life. You are important, you do matter & you do deserve better. You have a good understanding of what you need to do to make your life better. IMO in time, I’d see another therapist. You will be guarded & of course you won’t trust someone else initially, but if you find a therapist who has good & consistent boundaries, you will be more inclined to trust them & you will be safe.