Couch 246: Choose Change

I left one where the threat was to kill himself. He has yet to do so as far as I’m aware.

As my friends told me at the time, he is an adult. His life, good or bad, is on him.

Yeah remember - we don't negotiate with terrorists. Esp not ones in our own homes.

Your vows do not mean that you have to be trapped in a marriage you are unhappy in. You have been doing everything you can. There's always two people in a marriage.

If you want to leave, you should.

As adults we are responsible for our own actions.

Artie, I hope your procedure goes well today, assuming you're still able to go do it (didn't catch what your H has). I'll be thinking of you!

Thanks LT.

Believe it or not - I just got a call from the Dr's office, she's sick and not in today!! I was like WHAT? So after all my fretting about h being sick and maybe can't go bla bla bla now SHE cancels. I went ahead and rescheduled for Dec 21st because I already had that day off work, but I'm going to think long and hard about "is this the universe (both h and the doctor being sick!) telling me to get a 2nd opinion?!" or is it just a coincidence because the weather is being very weird here (going from warm to cold then back to warm like it has been) and there's crap going around? I'm gonna log onto my work computer now and see if there's any available time to still schedule later in the month, and then if there is, I'll work half a day today and cancel my vacation for tomorrow.

Ha. Actually maybe it's a lesson - **** happens so stop getting stressed out about everything. LET.IT.GO.

Aw, I'm sorry, Artie! Though I wouldn't necessarily think this is a sign from the universe. (I know, I tend to do stuff like that, too!) But, like you said, it will give you time to either get a second opinion or put more thought into it and be more sure about your decision.

I will say that sometimes, I just have this *feeling* that a particular thing isn't going to happen, or that it won't happen as planned. Could be a therapy session, plans with a friend, etc. And those tend to be right sometimes, though it's often not for the reason I expected. Of course, I'm more likely to remember the times that I was right, not the times when I had a bad/weird feeling, and everything went off as planned. I think that's "confirmation bias" or something like that.

I've felt that kinda thing before. Not today though; I really thought this was gonna be over with today. Ah well.

on a plus note, h tested negative for covid and he's feeling much better today. so it appears to be just a cold.

I'm most inclined to believe that it's yet another lesson to chill out and just live my life and deal with the inevitable **** that's gonna happen as it comes instead of the way i've always done, which is the whole borrowing tomorrow's trouble or whatever. i do that constantly, i know. there's a bible verse in the gospels (matthew?) about how tomorrow will worry about itself. i should go look that up.

that's most of my problems wrapped up in a nutshell. if i could just manage to actually turn over my life to the care of my higher power like we talk about in CoDA my life could be so different.

But yeah. I do have time now to try to get a 2nd opinion. My primary doc was going to refer me to another gyno who he knew would recommend surgery but I'm not so sure I really want surgery either. I am going to start taking the sertraline today and hope it starts clearing my head up enough that i can think more clearly about this.

Look at the birds in the field, they neither reap nor sow, yet my father takes care of them all.

Are you calling the birds scroungers?

Its called poetry, dammit! : rolleyes :

Eta - actually its birds in the air, but i was pretty pleased with my 60 plus years old recall without looking!

I've already started on the valentine's day (red/pink/white) star afghan. I'll have to stop after a few more rows for a bit though as I ordered a pink variegated yarn for part of it, and it won't get here til next week sometime. I can get a good start on it though, before I have to stop to wait for the yarn. I'm so addicted to making these and since now I have to wait another couple of weeks for 'the Thing' I'm going to need the distraction. H told me last night I should just make a whole slew of them and then rent a spot at the flea market or a craft fair or something and see if they sell. I could re-open my Etsy shop, but I think I'd rather sell them locally so I don't have to mess with shipping. I dunno. We shall see. I packed up & shipped off the 2 recent ones I made for my mom this morning, so she'll get them before her birthday on the 13th.

oh and I'm keeping today off for sure, and not sure yet about tomorrow. There's squat available for the rest of the year, of course, so if I don't take tomorrow off that 8 hours would have to roll over to next year. I'm not really worried about carrying over only one day though. I think I'm just going to keep tomorrow off too, and just crochet. I have a bunch of leftover yarn from that mandala afghan i made for my other sister, that yarn was such a joy to work with, I think I'm going to see how it looks in the star afghan pattern and then depending, make one out of that too. it's such pretty, soft, silky yarn I want to use it for something!

ok i've spammed the couch enough today. time to go crochet.

Also by implication the lilies of the field.

And now having a go at the flowers.

__________________
life of brian

EDDIE: Have the birds got jobs?!

FRANK: What's the matter with him?

ARTHUR: He says the birds are scrounging.

BRIAN: Oh, uhh, no, the point is the birds. They do all right. Don't they?

FRANK: Well, good luck to 'em.

EDDIE: Yeah. They're very pretty.

BRIAN: Okay, and you're much more important than they are, right? So, what are you worrying about? There you are. See?

EDDIE: I'm worrying about what you have got against birds.

BRIAN: I haven't got anything against the birds. Consider the lilies.

ARTHUR: He's having a go at the flowers now.

EDDIE: Oh, give the flowers a chance.

not monty python?

I am shamed by my ignorance of your holy grail.

I say nee! Or whatever.

At the stopping point now whilst I wait for the variegated yarn that I ordered. I need to find something else to work on while I wait:

Ni - the knights say Ni.

"Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred."

I won the appeal with the department of managed health care for G... I'm in total shock. G and I are still emailing. I've opened up a little with him. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that. I don't like sharing private things about my relationship with L with him, AND I do like not being so alone. I don't think I'm getting any comfort out of it. Just somewhere to put my thoughts and hopefully won't be judged. I've made it 1/4 the way there. I miss her so much.

Did you just call ex-Hankster a passing ruffian?

Sounds about right.

Cant tell the passing ruffians from the old ladies without a scorecard these days.