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#76
Aug 02, 2010, 11:43 AM
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awesome news marjn. so happy to hear you had another great date. No mention of flying so what did you do all day and when is the third date planned.
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 marjan
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#77
Aug 02, 2010, 12:09 PM
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 I emailed him on Saturday morning telling him to call me to plan the sunday....he called Saturday evening, he still wanted to go for fly, but because of the fire, the airport was not still open....he said he will find out on Sunday morning....I took my chance and told him why not to do something else....he said I thought you like flying, I said of course I love too, but it seems we are not sure about it, we can go for it another day....then I said we can go to a movie or go for science center exhibition.....he said he likes to go for the science center....I got online and I thought I will get the tickets....very strange, I don't usually do that specially int he second date to threat the guy with tickets....hehehe....but I thought I should change my attitudes and behaviors.....he doesn't have to pay for everything....that's not fair! Anyway, we went to the science center, and after that we went for dinner.....first we wanted to have dinner in my neighborhood, then he said lets go to Malibu beach, it's just 30 minutes drive from my home.....we had our dinner there.....then we kissed....it was just awesome.....the best part is that I don't feel uncomfortable with him....I feel me....I don't act, I tell him about my past and my thoughts and he just listen without judging me....Then he dropped me off at home....I didn't invite him over.....he hugged me and told me how much he's attracted to me....I told him I'm so happy it feels I found my best friend! We didn't plan for a next date.....I didn't say anything.....I just want to live day by day....and I don't want to get over excited....I know myself, I can get obsess and crazy....no need for those....I need my night sleep and relax life....I'm not a kid anymore to have all those thunders in my thoughts and emotions.....I need to be master of my emotions.....I don't want to be slave of my uncontrollable emotions.....I know how it can drag me to darkness and sadness..... again thanks for all the support  Marjan |
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#78
Aug 02, 2010, 12:33 PM
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We are like polar opposites. I'm turning 22 and have been in a relationship for 6 years!
 I am familiar with internet dating, and it never went well for me. I hope it does better for you.
__________________
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#79
Aug 03, 2010, 11:37 AM
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However, I've seen a lot of success stories.....lots....first my sister....she's married around 10 years and have kids....I think she's one of the first ones who tried online dating.....then my best friend, again, she's married now and pregnant....such a great guy she found....then my other guy friend, and another friend and another friend....yes, online dating is getting so popular, but you got to be patient..... I just had couple of dates with Brandon, but it was all great....and I cherish it....do I get hurt if he doesn't continue? maybe....but that's the life....I have no control on somebody's else emotions and I got to be rational.....so, I just try my best to have this joy in my heart now..... with love marjan |
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#80
Aug 03, 2010, 11:47 AM
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It does help though, seeing the others' successes. I didn't get married until I was 39 but remembered something my college roommate did for me when we were 20-21 and that kept me going until then. Having "examples" really helps.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| marjan
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#81
Aug 03, 2010, 12:40 PM
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#82
Aug 03, 2010, 01:17 PM
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__________________
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#83
Aug 03, 2010, 03:08 PM
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| Belle1979
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#84
Aug 05, 2010, 11:20 AM
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I went out with him last night....We went for a sushi in one of the city up north....We were like teenagers....kissing and cuddling....trying to hide from people's eyes and just be together.....love that....I really like this guy, but still I need more time to be relaxed and to trust....so far so good....no complain really....I think I'm growing up too and I don't let myself to get upset for little things like before....
He will be away this weekend....He said he's going to Colorado with his friends....He really didn't give me that much info....he said he's going for a job, but he will stay there with a friend that he has there.....whatever really....It came across my mind that he can lie to me and he can go with another girl....but why should I bother myself at this stage even? It's been just the third date....There is no relationship and I have to just enjoy my time....so I let it go...I let those thoughts to leave me....and they left....I thought as much as he has rights to meet others, I do have rights to meet others too....plus, do I want to be his only selection or do I want to be his choice? I prefer to be selected between bunch of girls....I want to be the one not just him not having any girl then I'm the only one....but anyway, it will hurt if I think he's going out with somebody else....better to not fuel the bad thoughts.... I like the way he's holding me and he can't get his hands off from me....that's great....and I felt so good in his arms, I could fall asleep....I feel totally me, I don't act at all...that's very new to me....I usually act when I like somebody and that's a bummer.....I was totally relax with him..... The other things is that he doesn't call me and that's not what I like....I told him last night, I said I want to hear your voice, why don't you call me? I don't know when it's good to call you.....he said oh I will call you although it's not my thing....I said I don't want to force you to call me, but it's good to hear your voice....and I dropped the conversation there.....I really don't have energy to discuss all about these stuff....If he doesn't want to, I can't force it to happen..... He said he wants to spend a weekend together....and yes, I do want to do that too....but honesty I'm so scared to do so.....I'm scared to get into xxx so quickly....that's why I'm avoiding myself to invite him over to my home....I don't want to show him the green light....It's too early....I need to know him more....I need to build up my relationship first....I don't want to jump into xxx.....I've done that before and it's not a good approach at all....that makes me so connected to the guy, then that's the part which is hurtful if the relationship doesn't work.....I know it's been a long time that I didn't have that type of affection and I'm young and needy in that department, but my goal is different....I prefer a long term commitment rather than just one night stand.....I can't do that to myself.....and I won't.....It was so easy for me to get disconnected from Kevin, because there was no x between us, verses Aaron....It took me almost a year and a half to get over him.... I bought a book "Power of Now"....I know it's very popular for years, never really got into it, but the other day I felt I need to learn how to stay focus in the present moment....I read couple of chapters and it's good.... I haven't checked the dating site almost for a week now, because I was afraid if he sees me online, but I want to...I do have some emails from guys and I'm curious to check them out....I really like him and deep down in my heart I think he's the one....that gut feelings....but still it's very soon to predict..... What do you guys suggest? Should I check the online dating site? I paid for the 6 months already....hehehe.... It's interesting when my girlfriend was dating her husband...she told me that I see him still getting on the online dating site that they met....I asked her if she gets upset....she laughed at me and she said it's better he gets online and not find anything, he will get back to me stronger.....she was so confident and she didn't care at all....then the cards were on her side....if she had girls out with us, Anthony was texting her constantly, she was laughing saying that poor guy thinks all guys are around us right now and he's worry....hehehe....she was not fueling his fears but she was not giving him so much comfort at the same time either.....and the funny part was that we were in the restaurant with no attention of any guys really around us.....hehehe..... anyway, sorry guys for a long post.....I really needed to get everything out from my head....you can just ignore my post Love you all  Marjan |
| Naturefreak
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#85
Aug 05, 2010, 04:20 PM
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marjan, i think it's great you've met a guy you connect with so well. you sound like you are taking it slowly and not getting ahead of yourself which is great. kudos to you!
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| marjan
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#86
Aug 05, 2010, 06:46 PM
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Quote:
__________________
 How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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#87
Aug 05, 2010, 08:38 PM
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Thanks Belle for reading my long post....and thanks for the reply....I think you can relate to my situation more than anybody else....
ya, I want to postpone the sexual thingy as much as I can....I really don't want to get connected to him this much early without knowing him....but kissing and cuddling is okay....hehehe.....I need to get more comfortable in my relationship first and then go for that.....plus, you know my condition, I have no clue how to tell him about that....I know HPV doesn't do anything to guys, but still I won't feel good if I don't tell him....I don't know what to do then....I might get appointment and talk to a T.... I just got an email on my facebook from a guy who is a friend of my friend....He said that he wants to meet me....hmmm.....He looks okay....I haven't replied him back yet.....I want to ask my friend first....My friend is a lawyer and most of her friends are lawyers.....Still I think I want Brandon more...but I don't want to put my hope so high and then get hurt again..... what do you guys think? Should I go out with this guy? M. |
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#88
Aug 05, 2010, 08:59 PM
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Totally your decision,
 if nothing else your confidence is getting a wicked boost If HPV wont be passed on or anything like that then.. is there really a worry? Does he need to know this early on? It's a big thing to start talking about... and maybe a T would have better reasoning as to what to say/do.. I know putting the hope so high is SOOOOOO hard.. I keep backing off a little with Louis and then stopping myself from pulling away. Like yesterday I didn't hear from him until the afternoon.. I was getting frustrated - told my best friend that I was over it and that I hated the feelings etc... After talking to Louis last night, he said he didn't text me cost he wanted me to be able to focus on work.. that I was on his mind all day but he didn't want to be responsible for distracting me... I think that you have to just jump in at the deep end. If you don't give it your all you will never know what could have/will be. Maybe there is hurt on the way but maybe there isn't - don't want to spend the rest of our lives wondering!!
__________________
How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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| marjan
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#89
Aug 06, 2010, 12:58 AM
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thanks my friend.....I don't know....I just feel a bit down today....I know it is because of my PMS too and I have stress at work and other stuff....but I haven't heard back from him and I don't know even if I care really.....I just hate the beginning of the relationship that I don't know the guy well....from the first date till yesterday, everyday I got an email from him and not today....I know he might be busy....and I'm not really expecting anything, but I'm wondering if I should still shop around, or If I should dive into the ocean....
I know what you mean by not giving 100% and then scrolling it up, but honesty, I'm so afraid of it too.....how should I know him? how should I know if he's just with me? he seems so eager and happy when he's with me and he can't hold his hands off, but then he's all cold in between.....if he emails, he says nice things.... I think it's better I go to bed and not think about anything....I hate myself even I told my girlfriend today....I hate that I shouldn't have told her....she's my good friend and she doesn't even ask me, but still I should have kept it to myself.....It's been just three dates, doesn't mean anything..... Yes, if I'm not brave, then I would not get what I want.....so, I got to be brave and stay strong.... thanks again Marjan |
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#90
Aug 06, 2010, 01:26 AM
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Can I just ask who told you Marjan that HPV is not contagious? or that it "doesn't do anything to men" it is very contagious it is an STD.
There are treatments for it and I suggest very strongly that you see a doctor and do not have any sexual contact with anyone. Men do catch HPV and spread it by having more partners.
__________________
 Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you |
| marjan
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#91
Aug 06, 2010, 10:48 AM
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Plus, there is no treatment for it....about 80% of population have it in one point of their lives, but mostly they don't know and the body immune system is getting rid of it without the person finding out about the virus even.....however, there is a DNA testing and I took the test that's how I found out....there are 130 different types, but few of them consider as high risks..... I feel like a crap right now......just want to cry....I didn't even have that many sexual partner and I was always in a relationship, but this is hunting me back.....yes, that's one of the reasons I don't want to be in any relationships.....and it's shameful, I can't talk about it.....some doctors believe that HPV is being over rated....Just recently on the news they announced that there is no need for too much screening because of the virus....they said they put women in too much stress for no reason.....I don't know how much I can trust doctors anymore....but I have done my own research and I found out some women reported that their immune system got rid of the virus....and some had cell changes which has been removed..... for more info, here is a link http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/common-questions.htm anyway....today is not a good day for me....feeling so sad..... 
Last edited by marjan; Aug 06, 2010 at 11:04 AM. |
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#92
Aug 06, 2010, 08:01 PM
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OH ((((Marjan))))
I wasn't trying to hurt you I was concerned. And there was no inference that you are not educated at all. When I read this: Quote:
When I was an RN I worked in a treatment clinic (outptients) for a while. There is treatment for this virus, and though it isn't the most comfortable treatment it works. It has an obvious presentation on both men and women (lesions). It's a very common thing and very easy to contract. And don't feel shamed, it's not your fault that you have it. Am shocked that the doctor doesn't treat it though. You can have diathermy/(thesedays laser treatment is available) or Cryothermy. The Immune system can be boosted and things such as Olive Leaf Extract which is a natural anti-biotic, anti-viral and Immune System booster and there are homeopathic HPV specific treatments. I honestly have only concern for you. If it hadn't been posted on I would never have responded. You don't need to suffer and there is NO shame. This is no different to having any other viral infection like the flu. I swear there is only concern for you Marjan...
__________________
Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you |
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#93
Aug 07, 2010, 02:36 AM
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I'm sure you didn't want to hurt me, but I think it was really bad timing when I read it.....I cried the whole day thinking that how horrible is my life now....I emailed my doctor and she assured me that all my tests have been negative and there is nothing to be worry about at this stage....I just had biopsy couple of months ago and thank god that was negative as well....there is no cell changes....They have just detected the virus in my DNA....she wrote me that there is no tests for guys and there is no evidence of harm to guys.....I've gone to so many different doctors since I found out I have the virus, even I went doctor in different countries and all of them told me the same thing.....go home and live your life, there is nothing......the virus can change the cells to cancer but the changes will be extremely slow....that's why they need to do more screening.....when they find out the changes on the cell, then they will freeze them.... Guys are just carrying the virus over and the virus doesn't do anything to them....there are around 130 different types of HPV, yes for some of them there is treatment because it's a lesion, but my case is totally different, there is nothing, it's just being detected that I am hosting the virus! I have done so much research about it....but still I'm afraid of having sexual partner and that because of this....It's so much pressure on me to say such a thing in a relationship.....that's why I want to make sure if the guy is the one then I will tell him before doing anything.... You are my favorite poster here....and I do appreciate your replies....just sometimes we are more vulnerable and words can be harmful.... I had so much anxiety past few days and I know why is that, because I like Brandon and I'm afraid to get closer to him.....He hasn't contacted me since Wednesday and I think "okay, probably this is good, probably he doesn't want me, then there is no pressure to think about having the next step"....I have no idea what my life will be....I just want to live one day at a time.....and I try my best to do that.....I try my best to forget all about past.....and not be obsess about future.... thanks again and don't worry, it's not you, it's me being sensitive most of my life.... with love Marjan |
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#94
Aug 07, 2010, 04:46 AM
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"but some guys don't like real to me at all....I like to find an average person however I need to feel that chemistry too....but the chemistry doesn't come just with looking at their photos....I need to read their profiles and their emails....some are such a turn off....I think I'm so picky or same thing that you said here "Internet dating is a hard process"
You are so right marjan....it is a long, hard process. It would be much better to take the time and figure a person out rather than being too eager. HOwever, we can become so involved in the analysis, that we don't allow the fun. I am 45 and single. Had one bad marriage which ended in 1995, and a bad engagement which ended in 2005. Now, I am enjoying life exploring my own life options. I tried the dating websites, paid and free. It seemed to me that computerized matchups were leaving out most of the men I actually was interested in. Many times we just need to relax and walk away from the date seeking and let life be enjoyed as it is. Enjoy yourself, with or without a man. |
| marjan
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#95
Aug 07, 2010, 11:41 AM
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Dating sites have never been my favorites, and I was always wondering how people find their partner like this.....I would not find any chemistry with anybody on site till recently and I'm so afraid of getting hurt, but I will go for it....I had a big break since my last relationship and I'm totally ready for another relationship without thinking about the ex.....I've been married unsuccessfully for a short period of time.....and got divorce 2006.....I think computer is another tool for us to find that special person and why not to use it..... I found out as I'm getting older I know what I want in a guy....therefore, I can eliminate those that I don't think would be my match.....It will narrow my search and it makes it easier to choose..... and I do believe enjoying life with or without man....thanks again
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#96
Aug 07, 2010, 05:51 PM
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 i think marjan is really wise to take the sex stuff slowly and not just because of this. sex does make one more attached. it's part of our physiology. Quote:
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| Belle1979, marjan
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#97
Aug 15, 2010, 04:31 AM
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marjan, are you doing okay? you've been awfully quiet and i've not seen you on lately either. hope all is ok. anyone heard from her?
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| marjan
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#98
Aug 15, 2010, 04:32 PM
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I'm trying hard to stay in present moment without thinking too much....without trying at all.... I did like Brandon, but he did not contacted me since last week and I didn't....instead I went in a date with another guy on Friday....He really liked me and he's asking me out.....He was handsome and educated, but I didn't feel the Chemistry.....So, I don't think I would go out with him then....no point....I was out the whole day yesterday.....Saw Aaron in the dance party and he didn't come and talk to me....I didn't do that either....I didn't want to see him at all....and I did not have any feelings for him....I didn't want to talk to him or dance with him.....I was amazed how I felt so comfortable by not caring about him....about the girl that he's with....I think he has switch between those girls again...ha....this time he was with the girlfriend who dated after me....how these girls can do that I don't know....these girls are best friends and they are okay with his game.....none of my business.....I just looked at them.... Life will go on no matter what we are feeling.....no matter what we are thinking.....It's better to stay neutral rather than up so happy or down so sad.....I choose to be neutral....that's my mission..... Love you all as usual marjan |
| Anonymous39281
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#99
Aug 15, 2010, 04:40 PM
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I'm glad you're managing it so calmly. Sounds like you've got your head screwed on.
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| Belle1979, marjan
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#100
Aug 16, 2010, 10:34 AM
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True....when you like somebody and you see the connection and you see the person is giving you the same attention then nothing, that's the head screw driver....but I'm totally fine now.... I believe there is a reason behind everything and sometimes we have to wait till we figure out the reason.....and sometimes we don't.... I'm back to my normal life....All I want is neutral thoughts and feelings.... I do have a plan for my life....and as I think about it, I get excited....I want to go to short trips on weekends....I don't want to wait to have a friend or somebody to accompany me.....I want to go for it.....I love traveling and I should do that.....There are tons of places close by that I haven't seen yet....Also, I want to concentrate more on my thoughts and try to mastering my thoughts.....I think Mind is a creator of everything....If we can control it and direct it, our life will change.... love you guys Marjan |
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