Bipolar BF left me again and he just reached out

I'm not sure how to handle this one.

We been together 2 years. He left once before he seem like he was depress than. Few months after he reached out and said there's nobody like me and he will never let me go again... We than spend many months without any major issues. We barely ever argue over anything.

So now out of a sudden his entire self changed. His been diagnosed for years and been to hospital for Manic Bipolar with Schizoprenia but I had yet experienced this part of him.

I've started to notice behaviors changes and he than started to open up to me about spiritual awakening and how as soon as he gets this experience his family send his to the hospital and how he does not want to go.

He would talk to me all night, for hours about spirituality and trying to help me better myself like him.... Than one morning after an amazing evening he wakes up and tell me I need to purge the pain to awaken like him and to help me with this he was leaving me. So he broke up!

During that period the first few day's we still hung out and the last time he was really mean to me for no reason and quick me out. A week pass and I nicely reached out to me and again he got extremely hurtful. So I didn't reply to his nasty message.

I've been in touch with his family and come to understand he took EVERYONE out of his life one by one and basically had nobody left. So sure enough he reaches out to me and ask me to talk. So I go over and for hours he tells me what everyone did to him and why he took them all out and how I was the only one that ever had his back.

Well I'm not sure what he wants from me, he definitely needed to get all that out of his chest. He asked me to stay over and hugged me good bye in the morning and thank me for coming. I'm not sure where we stand and I don't even know if I should contact him or wait for him to contact me again.

What is the do and don't in a situation like this? I don't want to say anything that will make him push me away again.

It was like sitting with someone else, I don't recognize him at all

HELP

First thing first hang in there i feel you,going to just express my personal opinion.

An relationship with a BPD is an emotional roller coaster which one moment he loves you the other he hates you,you can try as much as you want to really help him,but you can't really help someone who refuses to get help(which includes professional help),after some time his insecurities will be your insecurities,your self esteem will get low you will get more hurt,they get trapped by the love we give.

Once again it's really hard to disconnect from people we care and we love,it's up to you,but trust me you can't change him neither help him,you might help him for a short period of time until the cycle repeats itself once again,your going to get hurt tired and emotionally wrecked.

This cycle will go on and on until you allow it,if you can fight through it and just let him go that would be the best case scenario for you you deserve better.

Again this is my personal opinion i'm no professional i'm just talking from experience,he wants to drag you on the same cycle,hope this helps peace love and happiness

1: What? OP said bipolar, not BPD.

2: Are you aware that members here have BP and BPD and might find your reply insulting?

Anyway, back to the OP.

Sounds like he's in the midst of an episode atm, so you have two choices:

Alert the doctors (and risk him being upset with you) or stand on the sidelines and pray it ends soon...

My bf used to disappear when he got severely depressed, as a borderline / bipolar myself, I found it agonizingly nerve wrecking, but my excruciating patience paid off and now he feels safe enough to let me in to that vulnerable space.

I suggest that once your man lands, have a talk with him wrt what needs to happen during episodes, what role it is you can play.

While I don't like the above posters berating tone, I do agree with one thing he said though.

If this man doesn't want help, whether that be therapeutic, psychiatric or self help, you can't make him get any.
Well you could give him an ultimatum, but that rarely ends well for anyone.
And if we don't manage our mental health, things can get ugly and people get hurt, whether we mean for it to happen or not.
So I would give serious thought to whether or not I could / should / would stay with someone who's life becomes unmanageable in a blink of an eye, because as you see, it affects everyone, not just those of us with acronyms next to our names.

Does he see a doctor? I think it's necessary for cases like this.. I'm sorry this is happening. I'm sure it's not his fault. If you love him, stay close with him and try to help him - with professional help, of course.

Wish the best to both of you

Thank you for both replies.

Damon7890, your entitle to your own opinion but I do agree I can't change him or help him if he does not want to help himself. But I'm not walking away, we do have an amazing strong bound. I'm 33 years old, I was married 7 years and it was a really bad marriage. I've now been with my BF 2 years and to this day driving to go see him still gives me butterfly's like a first date.

I just want to figure out a way to be there for him but at the same time keep my own sanity. I do have a child with my ex husband and he likes my BF very much. Many of my friends and family believes I should run from my BF for that reason. That's just something I don't want to hear at all you know.

Trippin 2.0 thank you for your answer. His aunt did end up calling the hospital for an evaluation. They came with the police because he has a history of being resistant last episodes. He was very calm and talk to them nicely and told them he would take his medications. So they left saying they would come back evaluate him again next week (This week).
When I went to his place and he talked to me for hours few days ago, he was so angry the hospital was called on him. He kept repeating that his spirituality believes will never go away, even sending him to the hospital for 7-10 days and dope him up will not make him change or forget about his spiritual experiences and it will always come back.

He said his biggest mistake his to trust people, once he trust someone he opens up about the spirituality hoping that his knowledge will help the person self growth. But than he says every time it's been back firing on him cause who ever he trust end up calling the hospital on him.

The things is in the 2 years together he never once spoke about spirituality other than right now. His family and friends told me every time he had relapse that's when he would talk about it, buy books, watch videos, meditate, change his diet and sleep patterns.... and all that since he was 14 years old.

He does smoke marijuana daily in small quantity, mostly before bed since I know him and he suddenly stop when he started to feel the spiritual awakening coming back to him. Could the marijuana have been keeping him "leveled" up for the last few years? Like it was his therapeutic treatment. He had once said to me that he can't smoke while experiencing his spiritual awakening because it slows down his brain function and even stops the spiritual process. He said last time some friends try to convinced him to smoke and he got really mad at them and kicked them out.

Its now been almost an entire month that his behavior changed, I'm not sure how long it last, I seem to read a lot of time after a manic episode, depression follows.

Looking around on how this whole thing been affecting his friends and family is really hard. Some family members are now not talking to each other. His childhood friend friendship been destroyed. His aunt also suffering from BP as now also shut down, exhausted from all of this and hurt from the way he treated her. It's sad because he does not realize we are all there for him and he believes every one after him.

I didn't hear from him yesterday at all and all day I was wondering to I reach out to him or not? So I did before bed. Just a brief message saying I was going to sleep and it was good seeing him yesterday and to remember I've always been there and always will be there for him. He replied that it was good seeing me and that his also there if I need to talk.

I think at this point I will let him reach out to me. I believe the hospital will be there again Friday, but he doesn't know that I'm aware of that. He have no idea his family and friends and I are all in contact. Trying to figure out the best way to manage this situation.

If he needs a friend right now, I need to be that friend because he has no one else. But it's hard, I just want to take him in my arms.

I wish he would take me with him see his Dr. I so wish we could come up together with a way to deal with this when it happens. But like you said he needs to "land" before he will agree to even talk about this.

Since last hospital stay maybe 5 years ago, He does see a Dr. Now monthly, because he goes there and his not honest. Basically in and out telling her everything is wonderful and he takes his scripts for his meds. Fills them at the pharmacy and in the trash they go

First thing first i didn't mean to offend anyone,second thing second since you know a lot about BPD and Bipolar i will state based on a research the main difference:

Experts note that one of the main differentiating factors between bipolar and borderline personality disorder is that symptoms of personality disorder are pretty consistent and ongoing, while people with bipolar disorder appear to have “breaks” between their extreme mood swings, in which they experience a mid-range

I again didn't mean to offend anyone i was just stating my own idea which i'm free to do it from the experience peace love and happiness.

Just watch after yourself Sister that's what's important,the reason that i gave you above is just because i care and didn't want to see you go through hell or get hurt that i went through nothing else and please don't take it personal.

Watch after yourself once again try as much as you can to help him just don't let him break you down the mood swings are severe you can get hurt.

Good luck and wish you all the best!

No worries I didn't get offended or anything like that. I appreciate everyone out put as I'm really lost and really emotional myself. I try to keep myself together and know not to take anything personal. It is a major roller coaster and a scary one.

I understand you're just trying to help here but there is far more to the differences between bpd and bipolar than you seem to understand:

Bipolar (DSM V)
Diagnostic Criteria: Bipolar I Disorder

BPD (Also DSM V)
http://www.psi.uba.ar/academica/carr...terial/dsm.pdf

there is more to bpd than mood swings. That is merely one aspect of it whereas with bipolar it's the main problem for suffererers.

My head going a 100 miles and I can't sleep.

I keep paying over last Tuesday, when he asked me to come over. First time I saw him since he was so mean to me,

He was so calm and so needed to unload. I was happy to be there for him. But everything about him was so different. He lost a lot of weight, his way of talking and the multiple spiritual things around the apartment. I just felt like I was sitting with a man I don't really know. Even we been together 2 years.

I feel I made a mistake by staying overnight. We did have sex and he slept no problems after. Meanwhile I did not sleep at all. He always had hold me in bed or needed to have a part of his body touching me while we slept. That night nothing at all. Than he snuck out of bed at 5am, he awake for the day.

I had to leave early and I just got up a bit after 6 got dressed and left....

He have not reached out to me since. I did txt him last night, Wednesday and told him it was good seeing him the night before and that always be there for him. His answer was that he was happy he saw me too and that he always appreciated that I've always been there and that if I need to talk his also there for me.

... Need to talk. I so feel like I've been friend zoned and that things will never get back together

I'm just so sad and it's so hard to see him this way

I have this snowbaording weekend planned it's 2 hours away. And I almost feel like canceling incase he needs me. I feel that if I'm not available when he needs me his going to be angry, even more if he realize i"m out somewhere having a good time.

Did he call me over just to have sex ??? Or he really meant that his all alone and have nobody to talk to.

This relationship sounds incredibly unhealthy.

Look listen i know how you feel inside i been there before,Your mind is clouded by your Heart,you can't really think straight,It's not easy to see what's real n' what's not.

He is purely using you for his own gains,sexual or attention i don't care he is just using you,you are slow turning into a codependent person(your letting him dictate your happiness)The time you learn yourself to dictate your happiness it's the time you will be most Happy,try to set a Boundarie and look how he reacts.

Are you going to allow him just to pm you whenever he wants and use you and then walk away and the cycle of abuse to repeat itself?I don't really care what mental illness his suffering from,he has no right to use you,your Human you have feelings,Relationship is a two way street it must be 50:50 not 95:5 ratio,it won't really work like that.

He is telling you he will be there for you tho's are just empty words,you need someone who is there for you as much as you are there for him that's how it works,he is already hurting you with his distance he ain't there for you,your always there for him,he knows your going to pin your head down every time he does a move and he is using that,don't really allow that to yourself,your not an sexual object neither an supply or item your Human(you feel you have Empathy for people and a caring soul)Just Wake Up,there are better people out there,this words really might sound harsh but reality always hurts,i was in this Cycle and i still have problems sometimes i feel dead,sometimes i cry,it really does not change the fact that she used me whenever she needed me.

You ain't his safety blanket,or his phone to be used like that,do you really think someone who really loves you would have done that?

From the first day you start dating someone with a personality disorder he is a lost cause,only if he is in check and takes medications you will have a stable relationship(and he ain't even doing that)forget it you ain't a psychologist you can't help him,not if he does not allow you to help him,it's impossible.

You already ruining yourself skipping sleep,thinking about him etc he is bothering your mind so much that you forget of who you are,you forget about yourself,your happiness your boundaries,that my friend is Codependency your fading in there,your boundaries.

I went through hell and came back,just go NC(no contact)and try to heal your following a wrong path your going to get hurt really bad like i was i promise you mark my words at least i got hurt and there was no one to help me,i head no idea about this forum,but right now your the luck one you have us don't let your Heart control your mind,you already know what your Mind is telling you don't ignore it,you have a gut feeling that this ain't right and you already know you can't help him he has to want that himself,your just ruining yourself depending on him,letting him play abuse you,your self esteem is 0,he knows that and is using it,don't do that.

Where was he all tho's months when you feelt wrecked,when you cried,when you could not sleep did he ever asked you how you feelt?No,because he did not care,God knows what was he doing with other people,at the end of the day you ain't an Angel sent by Heaven your Human you don't have the strength to change him neither convince him to seek therapy,it already started ruining you.

Be careful peace,love and happiness.

I know hope is the only thing that keeps us alive,but you can't really hope from someone that does not want to be helped,tho's stuff only happen in fairy tales and we are living in a cruel world,i hoped for months for days everyday wrecking myself not eating anything dropping weight that she is going to realize what she did and it didn't happen,She head NPD with BPD and sociopath tendencies,it does not matter her diagnosis(what matters is are we really happy with the person that we are together with,the answer is simple NO)

I read your message a few times, I even printed it. So much truth in your message, starting with my mind being clouded by my heart, my heart being so big and caring don't help. Putting others before myself has always been something I do.

I'm starting to feel very depress, and I had depression before. I had a phycologist for over a year and taking medications following my divorce. My new health insurance don't cover mental health, I contacted him and each visit would be $95 that I just don't have.

It's Friday and I should be excited, I have great friends and they know what I'm going through and they are trying to help me get out of the house and do fun things ... and I feel excited with the plans but extremely guilty incase he needs me while I'm away. I hate myself for even considering canceling and sitting home waiting on him

Well i'm going to keep this message longer listen carefully,i don't just understand you i feel you,i would have not lost even a minute trying to reply i have no personal gain in this,i just don't want you to get hurt.

You have a kind hearted personality,your an Empath(so called Healer)that's really rare,i consider myself Empath too put others happiness before myne i love helping people caring for them etc,i'll share a lifetime story with you when i was 18 we head an accident with my Father we hit a Tree and he passed away in front of my eyes while i head to drive to the hospital with a piece of glass sticked in my arm,i was with a dead body in the car,after that the Funeral procedure started,so called people my Cousins would come and make me all the promises of the world telling me we will be there for anything you need etc.

I trusted them,what happened after a week they saw me in the road did not even bother talking to me,they were jealous of our wealth of our education,i cared about them but they could not stand me,i helped them i was there for them every time.

You have to learn to love and respect yourself put yourself first then the others,because if you follow that mentality you have right now your going to end up so hurt,they will use you and when you no longer have use to them they will throw you down like a can of coke,be smart about it.

Your so concentrated and blinded by this toxic love that you don't look at the world in 3 dimensions which is straight left and right,you just look straight 1 dimension you just see him and no one else,you convinced yourself that he is the guy and there is no other guy that will respect and love me the way i am that's on your heart,on the other hand your mind is telling you exactly what you should know and your gut instinct.

No matter what your mind is telling you your just going to ignore it,don't do that please,if he right now came back and just pmed you you would have jumped out from the couch and get happy and you would tell yourself **** my mind maybe there is hope,even after all the abuse all the things that he did that's really wrong,you have to respect yourself and you already know this relationship is a toxic one,imagine it this way can you change yourself right now??No....If you cant even change yourself you can't really help or change other people.

Your not an animal(even animals have rights)your a Kind hearted personality a trustworthy person,ask yourself what does he have more then you do?Does he have 4 arms and 4 legs!No...is he better then you are?No,i don't really care how he looks like you have to look at him as a person and think it on the long run.....Will this be healthy for me will i be able to maintain my Sanity(hell no your breaking down,imagine what would have happened if he would continue like this for another 1 year,your energy lvl would have got to 0,your self esteem is around 0,you would get tired and you would start seeking therapy yourself,don't allow him to do that to you,he already knows your there for him your going to Pin down even if he crushes you with his Sneakers you don't really mind as soon as he is with you,your human a trustworthy caring personality,keep your head up.

You might be not ready right now the only difference between me and you is that,even doe i was so hurt that i could barely walk,i can't really express the pain how i feelt,i still found the strength to fight for my life back from everything in life,and without the need of help from anyone,i'm a medicine student and one of the best in the school it's my last year,you have to be a Independent woman not a codependent(they will hurt you burn you to your last bone if you let them dictate your happiness).

Sometimes in life we fight for something so long that we really forget who we are,this is called Unrequited love a one way street,You just fight for something so hard that it just wont happen no matter how hard you try,you just feel like being catapulted into the whole universe and think every minute what could i have done different to change the fact.

You have to learn to fail 10 times get up 11 times,never forget this quote ever''It might be stormy right now,but it will never rain forever,eventually the sun will rise up''Don't limit yourself thinking he is the only guy that is a major Oneitis,there are people that you don't know that will love you and respect you the way you are,Trust in God(he didn't allow this relationship to go further because you would get hurt more)If it is going to happen it will happen but you don't want it to happen with the wrong person,this is next lvl Toxic thing you already know that.

If he head the chance he would crush you to the bone and never care,he does not care about you,he just uses you for his personal gainz your not a Supply your not his drug,neither an animal(even animals have rights)neither a bug to be crushed.

I promise you one thing that time he returns again:Just set a boundarie tell him how he hurt you and call him on his actions,if he does not snap out blame it all on you i swear to god i will never again bother writing messages in here,It's all about him controlling you,did he ever asked you how you feelt no lol,it's like me leaving home and not returning for like 3 months and then coming back to get some food cuz i'm hungry,that's not Humanity that's a supply use,another example why do we use exactly our phone??Do we really love our phone?hell no we use our phone because we need it to comunicate and post pictures of our selves on social medias to show how cool we look etc,but we never love our phone(we love it until it provides us something)it's the same exact thing the moment you won't give him use he will snap or leave you even more heartbroken''Then your going to think in yourself what did i do to deserve this how cruel can he be etc etc,what did i do wrong,you did not do anything wrong you just went on a relationship with the wrong person,experiences make us grow as a person make us tough without hardship there is no success in life.

Go outside distract yourself enjoy your time with friends do some sports,don't check your messages take your life back(no one can do that for you,you have to find the strength and the will to do that,you never know,it is going to happen again it will happen,in the time you never expect,don't lose faith and hope(that's what keeps people alive,and hope for something better not toxic)trust me if something better happens you will come in here and will start joking about it telling us how i suffered so much for someone that it was not worth it now i'm happy,always have some Faith on yourself please,there will be times later on where you will look and remember old memories where they will fade and will be replaced of new and good memories.

I would pref you if you listen to music to watch on youtube''Guns N Roses the making of Estranged''(It's a really long video,just watch the first 3 minutes AXL explains a lot about our situation,it's a song written by him on his most difficult times).

Don't let him ruin your dignity suck your soul and get you to a position that you won't even bother to get with anyone else in a relationship because of the scars he leaves.

Have some faith in yourself eventually the things will get better,no one will get hurt forever trust me,life is a test by God you will fail a bunch of times before you find the right person for you(it will happen sooner or later)

Once again don't get me wrong i'm not saying that the guy is a bad guy or anything,i'm just saying that his mental illness is dictating him,and people pay lots of money to go to Psychologist for that thing,sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't,i'm just convincing you with the sad truth, that your incapable of helping him no matter what, no normal person is capable of helping someone that he does not want to seek help no matter what,for ex an drug addict can you really help him seal him so he does not do drugs again(hell no)he must want it himself, it is going to leave you heartbroken with a lot of pain grief and sorrow,you deserve better trust me you deserve an individual who respects and loves you the way you are unconditionally like you love and respect him that's called Empathy that's called Love,being there for one and other,not wrecking yourself.

----Pay attention to this closely,every time you try to think of him read this songs lyrics It's a song by a rock band called Dead By April,it's called empathy describes both myne and your character traits and what we are going through copy and paste the lyrics never forget them--------

"Empathy"

Spit in my face
Humiliate my dignity
But I'm feeling great
To me this is normality

I try to think straight
Is this really my worth?
My heart gets in the way
And it keeps saying it doesn't hurt
Chaos!!!

Blaming myself
For the things that you call me
For the ways you act
And how sick is that?

I try to think straight
Of something else than rebirth
My heart gets in the way
And seriously it hurts!

What you're going through
It is real to you
But your mind plus your heart makes two

Look into my eyes
What do you see?
I'm someone who can show empathy
When your mind's clouded by your heart
It's not easy to see what's real n' what's not
I give you my empathy

Before you start judging
Try hard to see the person I am
I'm caring I'm humble and understanding
I ask for your empathy
To think of me as friendly
To escape this reality
I will need your empathy

What you're going through
It is real to you
But you mind plus your heart makes two

Look into my eyes
What do you see?
I'm someone who can show empathy
When your mind's clouded by your heart
It's not easy to see what's real n' what's not
I give you my empathy

My empathy
I give you my empathy!
Oh Oh Oh...

Look into my eyes
What do you see?
I'm someone who can show empathy
When your mind's clouded by your heart
It's not easy to see what's real n' what's not
I give you my empathy

My empathy
I give you my empathy!
Oh Oh Oh...

I only have one perspective really.

You have a child,a child that needs healthy people around them.
A child that understands it ok to care but not to get used up.
A child that needs to understand he greatest help is when we help ourselves.
A child that knows that love means that both people give equally to each other.
You have a child that deserves to see their mummy laughing and smiling.

This spirituality he is describing is his illness, and he is too fixated on it being the right thing that he will keep you up all night talking over and over but only making sense to himself.
He isn't in touch with the real world, and in that respect cannot love the real person that is you.

, go enjoy your holiday and wait until his episode is over before you agree to see him,If you still feel you must.

Be careful he doesn't try and convince you he is better just so you will see him. Meet him in a public place to keep control of the conversation.

If he is certain he doesn't need help, I think you know what's right.Ask yourself,
Can I do this day after day, week after week, month after month, year in year out?

I suggest looking for support from people actually in your situation. Partners and relatives of BP/schizophrenia sufferers.
In fact talk to his relatives, they are your best source of information and support.
Out of interest do you know if he is "preaching/teaching" his form of spirituality to others, I just wonder if he has another outlet for all this energy. And you said he wanted to pass it on. Was curious as to if he has himself someone he shares this with?

Erebos, thank you for your reply. Your absolutely right about my child and I love what you wrote.

He his definitely making sense to only himself spiritually and I see a lot of contradiction in what he say's. There's no room for questioning him either, he gets agitated and tells me I need to make my own research and find my own answers.
He said this spirituality passion, obsession started when he was 14, his 32 now. He does or did belong to some site where he would "read" people. His mom even told me she looked at everything he had wrote on that site and said it was surprisingly very good. He grew up in a family where the Spanish grandmother practiced psychic and magic.
I have a feeling his now back onto some similar website where he can connect with people sharing the same spiritual vision. What gets me is if his so passionate and obsess about it where was this for the last 5 years? Cause he did not show any interest or talk about any of this what so ever up until now.

When this all started a month ago he made a huge mess in his family, made everyone mad at everyone. So right now his mother refuse to talk to me. His father and aunt does talk to me but like everyone in the family they just know that's this he just needs to hit rock bottom and that they will than need to call the hospital. They just suggest to take a back seat and to be there to support him when he reaches out to me. Right now his not talking to none of them.

They do not encourage his spiritual conversation at all, and that's why he pushed them all out, knowing that they don't listen, don't understand and will just lock him up tp be drugged again.

I'm exhausted ! I'm afraid to tell him how I feel, I think it's better to wait that he "lands" but at the same time, this is eating me alive and it's really hard to comprehend that even despite the illness he does not realize how much arm his causing.

[QUOTE=damon7890;5485847]Well i'm going to keep this message longer listen carefully,i don't just understand you i feel you,i would have not lost even a minute trying to reply i have no personal gain in this,i just don't want you to get hurt.

....

First thank you so much for all the time your taking to reply to me. There's so much powerful eye opening words in what you say. It does hurt, I cried with both message you wrote. But I cry because your spot on, and my heart can't handle the truth.

I've always been close to his family, his mother especially. When this all started we where at her house out of State visiting. She had warn me about his illness long ago and gave me some red flags to be aware of (such as the spiritual talk). He first talked to me all night about spirituality while at his mother, I brought it up to her. Day by day we noticed so many changes of behaviors from him, very agitate, getting into arguments with everyone, talking to himself looking angry, stop eating meat.... Than we came home, it continued to go downhill, and at this point he was "cleaning up" around him to make it safe for him (to stay out of the hospital) Knowing his mom and I where close he started some non sense and created some drama between everyone, she now refuse to talk to me and had suggest to him to leave me. He did the same with his aunt, but we are still talking. I notice she only reaches out to me when she needs something from me.

My point is when you wrote your personal story about the accident and how you been there for your cousins and how they did nothing to help you. Well that's exactly where I stand with his family since this all started. If is was not for me non of them would even be aware of his relapse because his carefully hiding it really well from everyone that would send him to the hospital! Even when the hospital came last week, he was playing the game so well they left !!!!

I did watch and listen to AXL like you suggest, that song is really intense, I'm tempt to share it with him. And thank you for the "Empathy" lyrics, that very spot on ... and I also feel like he should see that.

I know you said to go NC on him but this part of me just want to lay down to him how his been making me feel, and how I never deserved this. But honestly.... he don't care, well right now, like this he really wont care and it would probably just set him off to more hurtful behavior.

It's hard to pull the trigger, writing this I feel a knot in my throat and my eyes are filled with tears. This part of me just feel that if I'm the only one standing by him until his better he will see and realize who I really am. This weird hope that he would open his eyes that yes he needs treatment in order to keep his life in check. I feel like everyone will always run away from him, well he pushes people away.... but I just have this weird feeling to be the strong one here. But part of me SCREAMING that I'm in total delusion and that I need to run for ME and for my child.

Again thank you for the great messages I will read them over and over. I think I may start putting something in writing for him, not to give him but to help me relieve some pain. Who knows maybe some day I would give it to him.

First off, I'm sorry for the pain he is putting you through. I too suffer from bipolar and at times I get very self-centered and start to push people away because of various delusions. I can speak from experience that he's not going to change or get help until he sees the need or wants to get help. I didn't think anything was wrong with me and I refused to seek help until my wife (at the time we weren't married yet) gave me a "you're going to see a psychologist or I'm leaving" bit. So, I kind of feel for you "boyfriend" and I can understand what he is going through.

That being said, it is not fair to you and he has no right to be playing with your emotions like he is. He's doing it because he can see that he can do it because you're letting him. It's not fair that you love someone that is putting you through the ringer. However, I'm a firm believer that he won't change unless he wants to, and you running to him and caving to his ever need is no motive to change. He's stringing you along and you're allowing him to do just that. It's not healthy for you to be doing this to yourself. You're making yourself sick (ie the depression) in the process. You shouldn't give anyone that power over you.

It may not be the best for him that you walk away but it is in your best interest for you to walk away. You need to look after your own well being instead of his. You can't help him if he doesn't want your help. The fact that he called you over and you gave him sex and he ignored you again afterwards shows that he's just using you for his own self-gratification. It's not healthy that you're so freely giving yourself (both emotionally and physically) to this man that shows no respect towards you, let alone loves you. If he truly did love you he wouldn't be doing half of what he's doing to you, regardless if he's sick or not.

I can't tell you what to do, the choice is up to you in the end, but my advise would be to cut ties with him until he seeks out the help he needs. Best of luck and I wish you well. Please look after yourself.

[QUOTE=Vert;5485974]I'm glad i can help you and we are talking,i'll continue a bit more to get you familiar with that kind of behavior and what actually my girlfriend put me through.

Remember this always''NEVER EVER TELL HIM HOW HE MADE YOU FEEL,DON'T GIVE HIM THAT SATISFACTION OF KNOWING THAT HE HURT YOU,DON'T SHOW HIM YOUR WEAKNESS,TRUST ME HE IS GOING TO ENJOY YOUR PAIN(I KEEPT POSTING SAD THINGS ON FACEBOOK WHEN SHE LEFT ME AND SHE WAS JUST HAVING FUN EVERY SECOND SEEING THO'S THINGS AND ENJOYED INFLICTING PAIN,YOU CAN'T REALLY DROP YOURSELF LOW AND TALK TO A SELFISH,NARCISSISTIC 5 YO KID OR CALL HIM ON HIS BEHAVIOUR OF HOW HE HURT YOU,HE WON'T UNDERSTAND YOU AND HE WILL LAUGH HIS *** OFF NEVER FORGET THIS EVER''I DID THIS MISTAKE YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT,HE IS DEAD FROM INSIDE HAS NO EMPATHY YOU CAN'T ASK SOMEONE TO FOR EX''SPEAK GERMAN WHEN HE NEVER HEARD ABOUT GERMAN LANGUAGE''

First thing first i feelt exactly like you feel right now,i wanted so bad to take revenge,off how she hurt me,how she was not sorry,how she gained my trust,how easy was for her to just flip the switch off,all the cheating's,all the lies the begging she did to take her back etc etc.

The last time she returned it was 2 months ago haven't heard from her till then,we head a month of break before that,she returns like nothing happened and pm's me with''Whats up baby how are you doing imagine all 1 month nothing from her,i catch her cheating kissing a guy,and she tells me it's just a friend lulz anyways''When she came back:I used that 1 month as healing period or No Contact,i set the boundaries in the first 10 minutes of the convo she started lying again,i told her''Do whatever don't lie to me i might have head feelings and gave you my all Empathy at that time and closed my eyes on your every - but thing's changed you can't really lie or manipulate me anymore,it's not that i did not notice at the old times that you lied also but i was just closing my eyes because i loved and cared about you,and she got super upset and told me''Geez it must have been really difficult for you to watch your father die melt in front of your eyes,at least i have my family''

Imagine the girl that i loved the girl that i saved her life from suicide 5 times the girl that i did everything for her,her parents head no idea how to communicate to her children they would call me everyday when she tried to suicide i would go there with hours talk to her and give her everything i got.

What i want to relate in here is that,you can't really make him realize what he did to you he shares a 5 yo mentality a selfish one which he only cares about himself,this is what i call Lack of Empathy,My girlfriend used to do the same he does to you give me the so called Silent Treatment(cause me crucified pain everyday i tried to search for answers which i got none,she liked controlling people,and she was cheating with god knows how many people)They really are childish you can't really call them for their actions it's pointless,it's like talking to a 3 yo child about psychology or how he called me a baby face and hurt me(the kid would laugh his ***,he does not even understand you TF your talking about),i feel't like taking revenge on her but on the other hand i feelt just sorry,the best revenge is being Neutral they freak out when they get that,i mean can a grown up even my worst enemy if we were killing each other at the last moments he would never tell me i'm glad you lost a family member that's childish and inmature because at the end of the day we all are going to die that's inevitable.

They are master Manipulators they will bring even the most Confident-Man-Woman and independent in their knees,they will turn your family against you,you can't really drop on the lvl of his trying to explain or talk something mature of how he hurt you he wont even care,they will Gaslighten you and Stonewall you to death(if you have no idea what tho's are do some google search),every time i told my girlfriend she was causing me pain she Laughed her *** and gaslightened me with it's not true i didn't do tho's stuff.

It's like we are sitting both on a table drinking beers and she just out of the blue stands up slaps me 3 times and leaves,and tomorrow she comes back and hugs me tells me what's up baby,you tell her wtf was wrong with you yesterday,and she tells you nothing,you call for her action that she slapped you and she tells me nah i was not with you yesterday i was at home i didn't slap you that's what i call Gaslightning(making you doubt yourself your own actions causing you pain because they know they have you and your empathy)

It's not that i didn't see through them there is a saying''Fool me once shame on you,fool me twice shame on me''But i was in the same position like you are my mind was clouded by my heart,i was not strong enough to walk away cuz i cared about her and i loved her,she knew she has my control 100% so she would do whatever she wants,and when she got bored return to me.

I mean she even told me this you ain't cool your simply a Doctor,i mean who wants a doctor right?Who wants someone who can care and love someone right?They want drug abusers,people that cause them pain,bad bois,tho's people are attractive,education means nothing to her.

What i want to tell you is that mark this word''The time you pm him you give him full power,you make him feel special it does not matter what you pm him,just a single word,he then makes sure once again he has you,considers you Crap uses you and leaves you it's like getting freebies from the Store where from a time on people will just get bored of getting the same item,the time you pm him once again you give him admiration he feels strong he feels he can control anything everything.

Don't really do that never forget this''Things that are hard to get have high value''Don't let him ruin you mentally and sexually your not his Trash Can,keep your ego keep your head up he has nothing more then you do take care of yourself,set the ****ing boundaries if he agrees to that fine if not he can otherwise **** himself,be strong you no need to care about someone who does not care about you,your well being,your emotions,just try to think it the logical side not the emotional one''

My grandpa used to tell me this he was really smart''If someone does not love you,you don't have to love him or respect him either that's how it works''

They make no logic so don't try to explain anything to them it's pointless you will waste your energy,self esteem,will get depressed and end up on treatment ask your self is that really your worth?Be smart about it why would you ruin yourself for someone like that.

You are not his father neither mother neither sister neither friend,your his Girlfriend god damn it,it has to be 50:50,tho's stuff that your doing for him his own parents won't do them,your just humiliating your own Human being for him,Never forget this your someones daughter you have or head family you grew up in a friendly environment you head love you know what's empathy you are caring,he has no idea what tho's stuff even mean,you cant really teach a 3 yo to love you care about you or take responsibility for his actions,it's impossible.

Have some dignity in yourself your Human it's better to suffer a short period of time till you forget him wounds heal,rather then suffer a lifetime your already hurt,your already in pain get a reward from it, run from him,this is not a game he has no idea what he is doing,playing with someones feelings is really hard manipulating people etc,just think of your childhood that you once were a kid you were loved bring tho's memories back respected by your parents feelt alive free,your a human being,don't let him suck your soul and self esteem i promise you,you wont even be able to walk on the street when he continues with the torture.

I'm in here for anything you need don't forget that,don't pm him everytime you feel hurt or like talking to someone just drop it in the message section don't give him power you ain't his playing toy your someone that everyone would have loved to communicate,he has no idea what he is doing or who he is losing and you don't have the strength to open his eyes no one can do that,if he really wants you he will play by your rules and boundaries otherwise he can **** off quite simple,don't ever trust his lies that he is seeking therapy they will lie he will hoover you in the game again use you then leave you,the best thing is to end this toxic thing you know the rules find the inner strength get the **** hurt and leave him better late then never'',He wants you he will seek therapy with you if he does not none of your business,you don't need to care for someone that he does not care for you in return.

''Peace Love and Happiness Damon''

[QUOTE=damon7890;5486119][QUOTE=Vert;5485974]

I'm glad i can help you and we are talking,i'll continue a bit more to get you familiar with that kind of behavior and what actually my girlfriend put me through.

Remember this always''NEVER EVER TELL HIM HOW HE MADE YOU FEEL,DON'T GIVE HIM THAT SATISFACTION OF KNOWING THAT HE HURT YOU,DON'T SHOW HIM YOUR WEAKNESS,TRUST ME HE IS GOING TO ENJOY YOUR PAIN(I KEEPT POSTING SAD THINGS ON FACEBOOK WHEN SHE LEFT ME AND SHE WAS JUST HAVING FUN EVERY SECOND SEEING THO'S THINGS AND ENJOYED INFLICTING PAIN,YOU CAN'T REALLY DROP YOURSELF LOW AND TALK TO A SELFISH,NARCISSISTIC 5 YO KID OR CALL HIM ON HIS BEHAVIOUR OF HOW HE HURT YOU,HE WON'T UNDERSTAND YOU AND HE WILL LAUGH HIS *** OFF NEVER FORGET THIS EVER''I DID THIS MISTAKE YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT,HE IS DEAD FROM INSIDE HAS NO EMPATHY YOU CAN'T ASK SOMEONE TO FOR EX''SPEAK GERMAN WHEN HE NEVER HEARD ABOUT GERMAN LANGUAGE''

First thing first i feelt exactly like you feel right now,i wanted so bad to take revenge,off how she hurt me,how she was not sorry,how she gained my trust,how easy was for her to just flip the switch off,all the cheating's,all the lies the begging she did to take her back etc etc.

The last time she returned it was 2 months ago haven't heard from her till then,we head a month of break before that,she returns like nothing happened and pm's me with''Whats up baby how are you doing imagine all 1 month nothing from her,i catch her cheating kissing a guy,and she tells me it's just a friend lulz anyways''When she came back:I used that 1 month as healing period or No Contact,i set the boundaries in the first 10 minutes of the convo she started lying again,i told her''Do whatever don't lie to me i might have head feelings and gave you my all Empathy at that time and closed my eyes on your every - but thing's changed you can't really lie or manipulate me anymore,it's not that i did not notice at the old times that you lied also but i was just closing my eyes because i loved and cared about you,and she got super upset and told me''Geez it must have been really difficult for you to watch your father die melt in front of your eyes,at least i have my family''

Imagine the girl that i loved the girl that i saved her life from suicide 5 times the girl that i did everything for her,her parents head no idea how to communicate to her children they would call me everyday when she tried to suicide i would go there with hours talk to her and give her everything i got.

What i want to relate in here is that,you can't really make him realize what he did to you he shares a 5 yo mentality a selfish one which he only cares about himself,this is what i call Lack of Empathy,My girlfriend used to do the same he does to you give me the so called Silent Treatment(cause me crucified pain everyday i tried to search for answers which i got none,she liked controlling people,and she was cheating with god knows how many people)They really are childish you can't really call them for their actions it's pointless,it's like talking to a 3 yo child about psychology or how he called me a baby face and hurt me(the kid would laugh his ***,he does not even understand you TF your talking about),i feel't like taking revenge on her but on the other hand i feelt just sorry,the best revenge is being Neutral they freak out when they get that,i mean can a grown up even my worst enemy if we were killing each other at the last moments he would never tell me i'm glad you lost a family member that's childish and inmature because at the end of the day we all are going to die that's inevitable.

They are master Manipulators they will bring even the most Confident-Man-Woman and independent in their knees,they will turn your family against you,you can't really drop on the lvl of his trying to explain or talk something mature of how he hurt you he wont even care,they will Gaslighten you and Stonewall you to death(if you have no idea what tho's are do some google search),every time i told my girlfriend she was causing me pain she Laughed her *** and gaslightened me with it's not true i didn't do tho's stuff.

It's like we are sitting both on a table drinking beers and she just out of the blue stands up slaps me 3 times and leaves,and tomorrow she comes back and hugs me tells me what's up baby,you tell her wtf was wrong with you yesterday,and she tells you nothing,you call for her action that she slapped you and she tells me nah i was not with you yesterday i was at home i didn't slap you that's what i call Gaslightning(making you doubt yourself your own actions causing you pain because they know they have you and your empathy)

It's not that i didn't see through them there is a saying''Fool me once shame on you,fool me twice shame on me''But i was in the same position like you are my mind was clouded by my heart,i was not strong enough to walk away cuz i cared about her and i loved her,she knew she has my control 100% so she would do whatever she wants,and when she got bored return to me.

I mean she even told me this you ain't cool your simply a Doctor,i mean who wants a doctor right?Who wants someone who can care and love someone right?They want drug abusers,people that cause them pain,bad bois,tho's people are attractive,education means nothing to her.

What i want to tell you is that mark this word''The time you pm him you give him full power,you make him feel special it does not matter what you pm him,just a single word,he then makes sure once again he has you,considers you Crap uses you and leaves you it's like getting freebies from the Store where from a time on people will just get bored of getting the same item,the time you pm him once again you give him admiration he feels strong he feels he can control anything everything.

Don't really do that never forget this''Things that are hard to get have high value''Don't let him ruin you mentally and sexually your not his Trash Can,keep your ego keep your head up he has nothing more then you do take care of yourself,set the ****ing boundaries if he agrees to that fine if not he can otherwise **** himself,be strong you no need to care about someone who does not care about you,your well being,your emotions,just try to think it the logical side not the emotional one''

My grandpa used to tell me this he was really smart''If someone does not love you,you don't have to love him or respect him either that's how it works''

They make no logic so don't try to explain anything to them it's pointless you will waste your energy,self esteem,will get depressed and end up on treatment ask your self is that really your worth?Be smart about it why would you ruin yourself for someone like that.

You are not his father neither mother neither sister neither friend,your his Girlfriend god damn it,it has to be 50:50,tho's stuff that your doing for him his own parents won't do them,your just humiliating your own Human being for him,Never forget this your someones daughter you have or head family you grew up in a friendly environment you head love you know what's empathy you are caring,he has no idea what tho's stuff even mean,you cant really teach a 3 yo to love you care about you or take responsibility for his actions,it's impossible.

Have some dignity in yourself your Human it's better to suffer a short period of time till you forget him wounds heal,rather then suffer a lifetime your already hurt,your already in pain get a reward from it, run from him,this is not a game he has no idea what he is doing,playing with someones feelings is really hard manipulating people etc,just think of your childhood that you once were a kid you were loved bring tho's memories back respected by your parents feelt alive free,your a human being,don't let him suck your soul and self esteem i promise you,you wont even be able to walk on the street when he continues with the torture.

I'm in here for anything you need don't forget that,don't pm him everytime you feel hurt or like talking to someone just drop it in the message section don't give him power you ain't his playing toy your someone that everyone would have loved to communicate,he has no idea what he is doing or who he is losing and you don't have the strength to open his eyes no one can do that,if he really wants you he will play by your rules and boundaries otherwise he can **** off quite simple,don't ever trust his lies that he is seeking therapy they will lie he will hoover you in the game again use you then leave you,the best thing is to end this toxic thing you know the rules find the inner strength get the **** hurt and leave him better late then never'',He wants you he will seek therapy with you if he does not none of your business,you don't need to care for someone that he does not care for you in return.

''Peace Love and Happiness Damon''[/QUOT

Good evening, I read your message yesterday, and again tonight. I contacted friends last night and we went to the range, it felt great to concentrate on something else. Today I just had some running around and studying for a Biology class. Because on top of everything I am back in school at 33 !!

At some point today, I notice he reactivated his Facebook account, totally contradicting his believes that Facebook is evil, controlling people, spying on people and bringing to much negativity into his spiritual life.
Than tonight he deactivated it again !!!

Yesterday, after the range driving home after saying good night to my friends, I felt so angry. Replying everything in my head. I again wanted to contact him, even considered showing up at his place. But instead I expressed my feeling to my neighbor that's been my rock for many years now through everything. She helped me control myself and I didn't contact him. I did have a few drinks last night, and I barely every drink so that was probably not helping. Looking back I'm just glad I didn't reached out.

Reading back your message also confirmed how bad of an idea that was, how pointless it would of been and how I would of just ended up hurting even more.

I made the decision to cut contact with his aunt, she was a total ***** to me today. His family just loves to take **** out on me apparently.

So your girlfriend after this last contact, when she got super upset and told you she was glad you lost a family member... What happen after that? Where you stand now?

Reading your messages over and over, it just amazes me how your straight on target. It is so helpful. I get really emotional reading it as I'm starting to realize and almost come to the acceptance that the man I love and I have a toxic relation ship that can no longer continue like this.

I still have so many pictures of us in my phone and on Facebook. Looking at them, and some are very recent, makes it so hard to believe that over night what we had got destroyed by an heart quake.

tomorrow is an other day, I have sparring in the morning and more studying in the afternoon. I do try keep busy, keep my mind occupied but I sure wonder what his doing.

Thank you for your response and I appreciate your honesty. Everyone honesty really. The truth hurts but reading it over and over making me open my eyes. My mind slowly getting stronger than my heart feelings. The roller coaster of emotions, that process is just so draining. Crying once minute, laughing the other, than super frustrated. And his home doing his own things with his crystal and spiritual books, having no clue the damage he as cause to me.
It so hard to cut the ties, but last time he left me, I was only able to enjoy my life and be happy again once I had block him and removed everything that reminded me of him. That was last summer and I had so much fun that summer, I did so many activities for myself !

[QUOTE=Vert;5487826][QUOTE=damon7890;5486119]I'm glad you started to wake up from this Toxic Relationship,that's the gurl i want to see,keep moving forward concentrate on your Education have fun life is way to short to be unhappy for a person that does not even care about you,your education is very important to you.

Please stay away from Drinks and if you feel depressed just come here so we can talk trust me they wont help,drugs drinks anything they are just a partial distraction or pleasure,they are used from people that are Weak who can't cope with the reality,if you learn to make yourself happy you can get happy just by drinking''Water''that's how independent you have to be to find happiness in every little piece of life,just telling you for the future.

I'm glad your also working out that's really healthy,healthy body=healthy spirit and healthy thinking.

Also always remember thiso not check his Facebook it will get things harder for you,do not follow his daily activity,delete the pictures from your phone if you emotionally can't handle them it will only make things worse for you,from this day on he is for you a Ghost or Lord Voldemort(the guy that his name must not be known or pronounced daily on your Language Dictionary),at least apply this rule till you get yourself alive again till you get back to the Gurl you were years ago the strong independent one,when you feel that strong then you can look at them and laugh your *** because they won't really mean anything to you.

Listen to me once again:No matter how much you burn inside how much pain your feeling how much anger sorrow,do not contact him ever,every time you feel that punch the punching bag cry get sad come here drop 100s of messages just never ever''Contact him no matter what happens,even if he lies or manipulates fakes something like something bad happened to him or death or whatever,they are proffesional lier's trust me on this no matter what do not contact him,because he already knows your weak points he will use them against you,he knows that every time he reaches out and lies you will drop to your knees why?BECAUSE YOU CARE ABOUT HIM YOU FEELED YOU HEAD EMPATHY YOU REALLY LOVED(and that's how a normal individual would act including myself but your dealing with a guy that lacks empathy so never ever,even if he comes back lies to you don't drop yourself low)Why?Because you have to remember always this,do you really think that the guy left you already so many times will start realizing how wrong he was and start seriously loving you?Hell ****ing no if he lied to you more then once if he followed this same pattern for years(always remember this he will always DO THE SAME THINGS no matter when what or where or what the circumstances are)

You right now are the boring gurl to him why?Because he knows that with a flick of his finger or the magical words he can make you do whatever he wants,he can sleep with you then throw you away he can play with your emotions once he feels down or his self esteem is down to get a ego boost,he can talk to you because your his safety blanket after he gets tho's stuff then he can **** with another 100 Woman.

Don't drop yourself that low know your own values know your own personality you don't need to be with someone who does not appreciate your kindness your pure heart your emotions,and does not appreciate you as a human being,keep your value always up to be respected by others and never let others dictate your happiness.

Also never contact to his family ever no matter what never forget this:It's her son no matter how bad he is it's her son or cousin or whatever,they will protect him not you no matter how bad of a person he is,never search justice and never try to help someone who does not see his mistakes,he will turn and started turning his family against you that's none of your business they are no one absolutely to Dictate your happiness(they are just strangers)there is a smart saying''When you start to solve a problem you always start from yourself otherwise it wont work,you never escape a problem you have to challenge the problem''The guy that has no idea what his actions are what he is causing can never ever solve the problem(the easiest way is to escape it)

And never ever forget this:If you keep him on your Facebook he can post pictures with other girls and look happy always remember this:A dead person from inside is never happy no matter what,he will get no matter if it's Angelina Jolie or Nina Dobrev to the same cycle that he is trying to do with you(The smart celebrity will escape the weak one will endure the pain then find a way out sooner or later he will be left alone),he might even provoke you with pictures of other girls etc never fall for that,because he knows 100% he can hurt you no matter what never allow that to yourself.

I'm going to share a song with you which is a life lesson for you:Go on youtube search for:Five Finger Death Punch - Wrong Side Of Heaven,it's a song based on true story and USA government neglecting and ignoring Homeless Soldier rights,who served gave their life for their country and connect this to your life story,the first 3 times i watched the video and listened to the song i cried like a baby.

Look what people are going through in life they sacrificed their life to protect their loved ones and no one answers them back with their Empathy not even the government,and they still continue to fight,imagine if you were put in this position what would you have done?There are 100% more difficult situations out there which myne and yours when we compare our situation to that has 0 value or none,but they are heroes the still fight,if you won't be able to walk away from something toxic you will suffer so much in this life wise the **** up and keep moving,''The soldiers are thinking in their self was it this easy after all i did for my Country to get discarded like that,after all i sacrificed to be left alone by my family,i did it for them not for myself to make this world a better place,that leads to PTDS some of them fail to help themselves some of them find the strength,be the strong one survive this hell get stronger grow as a person,i understand you it will bother you how easy was it for him to leave you after all tho's stuff he told you after all tho's times but it happened''I dedicated a tattoo on my forearm for this stuff which is''HIC ET NUNC(From latin language which means Here and Now-you have to live for the moment and make the best of it,no past or future actions should affect you,Live for the moment make the best of it it's on your hand,people always live or get affected by the past events trauma etc or think the future will be worst or better but the forget the most important thing which is ignored to live for the moment,be yourself in the moment right here right now)

''LIFE IS LIKE A RIDING BICYCLE,TO KEEP THE BALANCE YOU MUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND NEVER LOOKING BACK''
''THE KEY TO KEEPING YOUR BALANCE IS KNOWING WHEN YOU'VE LOST IT AND MOVING FORWARD''

Now on my standpoint with my girlfriend we stand no where 2 months nothing from her i don't care even love someone that does not care or love me,she is talking to all people possible trying to extract attention,ego boost everything,i don't care lol why would i care for ghosts,did i like anything she posted?Hell no why would i care she is dead for me,because deep down inside i know how unhappy she is and she is going to follow the same pattern she followed with me with god knows how many guys,i might have suffered for like 2 months but at the end of the day i'm back at my old self and i'm healthy and she will suffer a lifetime.

NEVER EVER FORGET THIS''WHEN YOU FLY SO HIGH LIKE SHE DOES FROM ZERO TO HERO YOUR DOWNFALL WILL BE FASTER THE YOU COULD IMAGINE''
''TO GET SOMEWHERE IN LIFE YOU WILL HAVE TO CRAWL NOT FLY FROM THE START BECAUSE YOUR GOING TO EVENTUALLY FALL THAT IT WILL HURT YOU SO BAD,FROM CRAWLING TO WALKING NOT FLYING''

SOONER OR LATER SHE IS GOING TO GET HURT SO BAD FROM A ALCHOOLIC BAD BOY OR A DRUG ABUSER THAT SHE IS GOING TO REALIZE HOW WRONG SHE WAS BUT DO I CARE?HELL NO,EVEN IF SHE COMES BACK I WILL NEVER EVER ACCEPT HER WHY?BECAUSE ONCE SOMEONE BREAKS MY TRUST IT'S BROKEN ONCE YOU ALLOW SOMEONE TO USE YOU HE WILL DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,ONCE SOMEONE CHANGES THAT FAST HIS PERSONALITY HE WILL ALWAYS DO IT NO MATTER WHAT,SHE THINKS I WILL PIN MY HEAD FOR HER LIKE I DID IN THE OLD TIMES BUT THAT WON'T EVER HAPPEN AGAIN''

She will follow the same relationship pattern"IDOLISATION(LOVE BOMBING)-DEVALUATION-DISCARD(where you are left alone without an explanation) always with everyone remember this.

Never forget this once she/he breaks your trust or changes his personality that fast in a matter of day,week,month,year without a reason he was not the person you thought he was,i get it he has personality disorder,but he does not want to be helped and that's not your responbility,your searching for a soul mate a guy that has already found himself your not a Saviour,on the other hand he has no right no matter what to Monkey Branch you,with a person that has personality disorder it's all about him and if it's not you will get discarded,you have boundaries you have rights,take it this way''If someone invites you to a club a dance club and you go in there and he does not dance with you how would you feel?Like a real monkey you do everything for him and he does nothing he is monkey branching you''in relationships people make mistakes we are Humans but we should learn to come through mistakes handle situations like a real mature person talk through problems face the problems together be one and others safety blanket,it's not like whenever he needs you feels broken he just shows up you give him everything and then he dissapears,what about when you feel broken in that specific moment is he there hell no lol he is with other people god knows with how many other girls,because he does not care,i don't really care what personality disorder he has i just want you to know that you don't deserve to be treated poorly,you don't deserve to monkey branch on his Harem or you don't deserve to be Neglected and Ignored by someone because he is way to busy or does not feel like talking to and whenever he needs you your there,that's not an excuse that is some next lvl inmature thing whenever i feel i'll talk to you and whenever i don't you can **** off since i don't really care all i care is about myself and my well being once i need help i'll ask and i don't care if it means crashing you ruining you etc,that's inhumanity your not his prisoner,no matter how good you are no matter even if you sacrifice every bit of your strength your confidence your self esteem your body you will never be enough for him,sooner or later you are going to break down no matter what.

HOPE THIS HELPS
PEACE , LOVE , HAPPINESS , DAMON.

[QUOTE=damon7890;5488419][QUOTE=Vert;5487826]
I sended you a private message, I wrote something for him. I wont give it to him but writting helps me. He unfriended me on Facebook 2 weeks ago, than he deleted his account. I just know his back on Facebook cause I can see his account again.
Your strong, I can't wait to be able to say the same about me. I'm crying a lot today. It's like I go 1 step forward and 3 steps back. I've resist the urge to send him a txt message but I can't snap out of this.