Roll Call 144

Well I was starting to fall asleep but my phone rang and I got a voice mail from my therapist so I called her back to confirm the appointment reschedule.

I guess I'll stay up. I'm going to make some of that dragon spice chai tea and read some of the assigned stuff for my classes and come up with some kind of outline for my midterm essay.

Hope you enjoy the tea ☕️.....it’s actually really good with salted caramel syrup and a splash of milk.

I've been feeling worse lately too. Since last week, I forget what happened. I hope you'll feel better soon.

I remember now, but it isn't just that, it's something else too. And I see that I need to get away from here. I don't know how to begin.

I'm trying to remember my dream because I just don't remember them anymore. For years and years.

It's really good!

Cleaned and did the dishes, going to relax and watch something on Netflix

You deserve to relax after cleaning and doing dishes! Kit

I'm rather bored at the moment. I'm at work and there's probably stuff I could do, but I don't want to. So I'm seeing what's up on PC! Kit

Thank you!!! Hope you start to feel better too! Hope you get a chance to vape too.

My sleep schedule is all messed up. I hate how that throws everything else off

Thank you! Do you know why you're so down lately? When did it start?

It started when my mom wasnt too happy about me being possibly engaged. It all went down from there. I stopped working. Started getting very depressed and anxious. Stopped taking care of myself like stop taking showers and brushing my hair. I just brushed my hair yesterday from a week ago. It was all matted.

My hair gets really matted too. I always have it in a ponytail but I don't touch it for days until I try to brush it.

So this is tied up in what your mom said? Do you think she might have been right about the money situation? I've been so impressed by your progress. It was like I blinked for a moment and suddenly you were in an apartment with your bf, and you had a job! Everything was looking really good. Best of all, you felt better and were optimistic.

Things always go from good to bad and back again. It's just a matter of getting the good times to last a lot longer than the harder times. (I'm working on this too.)

When you're ready to make a change, you will. You've proven that you can. So any stress about money will resolve when the time is right. Have you ever looked into catalog modeling? You're a very striking looking lady. I don't know much about it, I guess you need an agent or something, or not be too short, but that might not apply for catalogs. Just thinking out loud, it would be a lot more money. But it's hard to get into.

I'm tired and dizzy/nauseous. I might try eating some orange chicken then take my meds and go to sleep, it's been a long day

Wow! Thanks!!! I never had someone tell me im striking. That means a lot to me. Im trying to get skinnier but im not exactly working on that right now since all im worried about is money lol.

But thanks!

And yea my mom was right i think. Normally she wouldnt be about me but my dad had the same concern. I will not be getting legally married. I will just be probably married at some point through common law. But i will still get engaged im sure. Bf and i realized itd be nice to have a ring to show our commitment to each for a long time.

Thanks so much for your kind words! That really perked me up!

Hope u start to feel better!

Yes, try lying down for a bit. Maybe you could read for awhile or play a game. I hate getting dizzy. Especially when I'm standing up to go out to vape. The people in wheelchairs can take a long time and meanwhile my anxiety gets worse and worse. Oh well. (((Hugs)))

You never have pissed me off. I'd miss you if you left.

How are you, DT?

I took my meds late and not sleepy yet (almost 8 AM). Reminded me that I’m an insomniac without AP.

Mind was quieter today. Not as obsessive. It’s still there in the background. Busy with work and stuff.

Thank you! I'm watching stuff on YouTube, lately added an old 60s show called Thriller hosted by Boris Karloff.

Gotta take my meds in an hour and bf stopped by his moms after work so he isnt gonna be home for another hour or so.

I just hate going to bed without him.

On second thought i really dont have to take them on time. I could wait 30 min or 45 min i guess.

Desoxyn

Did u hear about the candy flavored amphetamines for children the fda is putting out?