Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #201  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 10:47 AM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,919
I have the meatballs and sausage cooking in the crockpot. Have just been playing games
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, cogladaid, Sometimes psychotic

advertisement
  #202  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 10:52 AM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Hey, Desoxyn, I am new here so, forgive me, but, do you have anyone to help you maybe with your meds? You seem to be sort of all over the map with them. Or maybe I am missing something. I have difficulty remembering to take all mine, myself. I live alone. I really need some help.

In my four decades dealing with bp 1 with tons of psychosis and lots of addcition to absolutely everything, I can pretty much guarantee you that it is going to be far more difficult to achieve stability of any kind with non-prescribed substances in the mix. I have tried them all. Alcohol, benzos, opiates, uppers, hallucinogens, on and on. Not judging in the least, but I have had the course. Is there any chance you could try to do this without the extraneous stuff? It might help you.

Sending you strength and suport. I hope you have a better day.
It's nothing compared to what it was yet it seems to be causing the same - If not, more pain and anguish than using 20 different chemicals at the same time.

I'm only using two. 1. Phenibut - Which seems to be a good antidepressant "supplement" and 2. Xanax - Which I'm not taking anymore at a very low dose but getting insomnia as a withdrawal.

I told my doctor so he gave me diazepam to withdraw from it - But because of being at the end of my injection, I wanted to feel better so I took an extra 40mg Vyvanse, stayed up and had to take Xanax for anxiety from it.

Then the alcohol I was just trying for one night to see if it would help - It didn't so I'm done with that.

That's all it is. I don't know why this is giving me problems. What I used to do with chemicals was absolutely ridiculous 30 different drugs but I was severely neglected so no one was checking up on my mental state or anything.

It seems really suspicious to me that reality is so terrifying because I'm a completely honest and authentic person - I don't hide anything. It's really weird. 20-30 different drugs of all kinds and now I use 2-3 and my mental health goes down the drain? Why?
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
  #203  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 10:57 AM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
I'm gonna make appointments with my treatment team today. I couldn't yesterday or the day before because I slept in.

And all of the problems with my life make me stressed out and the world.

My mom didn't even wake up so we could go for the hike so I stayed awake for nothing.
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
  #204  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:02 AM
WastingAsparagus's Avatar
WastingAsparagus WastingAsparagus is offline
Philosopher
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,745
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
It's nothing compared to what it was yet it seems to be causing the same - If not, more pain and anguish than using 20 different chemicals at the same time.

I'm only using two. 1. Phenibut - Which seems to be a good antidepressant "supplement" and 2. Xanax - Which I'm not taking anymore at a very low dose but getting insomnia as a withdrawal.

I told my doctor so he gave me diazepam to withdraw from it - But because of being at the end of my injection, I wanted to feel better so I took an extra 40mg Vyvanse, stayed up and had to take Xanax for anxiety from it.

Then the alcohol I was just trying for one night to see if it would help - It didn't so I'm done with that.

That's all it is. I don't know why this is giving me problems. What I used to do with chemicals was absolutely ridiculous 30 different drugs but I was severely neglected so no one was checking up on my mental state or anything.

It seems really suspicious to me that reality is so terrifying because I'm a completely honest and authentic person - I don't hide anything. It's really weird. 20-30 different drugs of all kinds and now I use 2-3 and my mental health goes down the drain? Why?

Just an idea, but have you tried regular antidepressants? Such as venlafaxine, mirtazapine, etc.? Maybe that would help you with some relief from your symptoms. Also aripiprazole is a good antipsychotic that also helps with depression sometimes... I take aripiprazole. I don't know. I mean this is not medical advice obviously, but it seems like benzos and phenibut are not likely going to solve your symptoms, based on my experience with psych meds... My successful combo of meds included 3-4 prescibed medications at one time. Right now I'm on 3 and I feel pretty good, honestly. I hope you can find some meds and lifestyle stuff that can help you. I'm not trying to steer you in any direction in particular, but rather, just trying to help.
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Desoxyn
  #205  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:05 AM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus View Post
Just an idea, but have you tried regular antidepressants? Such as venlafaxine, mirtazapine, etc.? Maybe that would help you with some relief from your symptoms. Also aripiprazole is a good antipsychotic that also helps with depression sometimes... I take aripiprazole. I don't know. I mean this is not medical advice obviously, but it seems like benzos and phenibut are not likely going to solve your symptoms, based on my experience with psych meds... My successful combo of meds included 3-4 prescibed medications at one time. Right now I'm on 3 and I feel pretty good, honestly. I hope you can find some meds and lifestyle stuff that can help you. I'm not trying to steer you in any direction in particular, but rather, just trying to help.
Thanks. I can't take antidepressants because I get dissociation from taking psilocybin.

I'm gonna see my doctor today in 2 hours. I made an appointment. I'm scared because I don't know what to tell him. My mind is blank.

I wish I wasn't me right now.
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
  #206  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:06 AM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
I'm gonna write everything down that I need to say to him right now..
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, bpcyclist, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
  #207  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:10 AM
WastingAsparagus's Avatar
WastingAsparagus WastingAsparagus is offline
Philosopher
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,745
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I'm gonna write everything down that I need to say to him right now..

Good idea! Good luck, I hope it goes well.
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Desoxyn
  #208  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:22 AM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
This is what I wrote;

"Clydamicin cream
22 zopiclone left
16 vyvanse left
20 days of atenolol left
2x 3 weeks invega sustenna left

I was taking the diazepam once a night every 2-3 nights - There was no problem.

Was at the end of my Invega injection - Which is a big deal after 4 weeks. I had another meltdown or psychotic break like I did on the 15th

After I got my injection, I was waiting for it to kick in so I was taking one PRN olanzepine a day

I was blaming my mom for things - She was never this concerned about me before and used to severely neglect me while I was mentally ill so no one is checking up on my mental state or anything like they are now - So people now notice even the slightest changes that I make to my meds

I took 40mg of Vyvanse (Because I had a bottle of 20 - I’ll bring them back to the pharmacy after this appointment) at 6pm on the 5th of June and stayed up all night - Then took alprazolam to sleep which messed up my tolerance.

I slept in for the next few days because I messed up my sleep schedule by only falling alseep at 3-4am and waking up at 1-2pm so I didn’t make any appointments with my psychiatrist or therapist - Also because I need to prepare what I want to say cuz I’m dealing with so much ****

Last night I tried to go to sleep at 11pm by taking a zopiclone and two shots of wine (Because I ran out of diazepam - The pharmacist recommended to take for a few days then PRN instead of every night for 2 weeks) but it didn’t work so I stayed up until 4am and then went to sleep - By the time I was falling asleep, the cats scratching at the carpet and meowing in the morning woke me up

I decided to get out of bed, cook breakfast and took 40mg of Vyvanse because it’s better than 50mg if I’m hiking

I was going to go on a hike today but my mom is sleeping in so I made an appointment with you

I messed up. I don't really care anymore because no one will take me seriously now."
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
  #209  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:31 AM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,919
God I love Pinterest. So many cool recipes

And crockpots are so easy, especially when using liners
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, bpcyclist, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
  #210  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:42 AM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
Quote:
Originally Posted by unsure123 View Post
My Grandad died last night Roll Call 167 :)
I'm so sorry @unsure123
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
  #211  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:44 AM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
I let my mom read over what I wrote and she wasn't mad. So now I get to tell my doctor that I went over all of this with my mom.

The biggest part about this is that I'm freaking out about it too much. I think it's because of knowing what it's like to be paranoid on weed - Especially when I smoked too much from my moms friends joint while on a hike - I was afraid of anyone knowing that I was high and paranoid. They were laughing and joking and I felt like they were laughing at me.

I told my mom that I'm afraid of people making a big deal about my mental state and judging me and feeling like I need to go to the psych ward.

But everything is fine. What I want out of this appointment is to stay on the same meds but be able to sleep - With either a PRN 5mg diazepam with the zopiclone or change both to temazepam (Because my doctor prefers that to zopiclone but he was on vacation so my moms doctor prescribed me zopiclone because he prefers that over temazepam). I don't want temazepam though because of it's longer half life.

So everything is ok. I'm just sick and tired of this crap and want to not worry about meds and such.
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, bpcyclist
  #212  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:46 AM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
Happy Birthday Job! Hope you are having a fun day!
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Job 30 26
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Job 30 26
  #213  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:47 AM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
My therapist called me last night. She is going to call me another time between now and Saturday to check on me. Saturday I have my regular appointment with her. It was good to talk to her. We only talked maybe 5 minutes. I know she was assessing me but it felt good that she cared.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, bpcyclist
  #214  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:48 AM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
I am going to take Friday off of work. 1) my mom is bugging me about cleaning my room 2) I need a mental health day 3) I don't want to be at work right now. I just want a break. Maybe I will clean my room. Maybe. Then maybe take a walk, do some yoga, sleep in til like 6 AM, have breakfast with my Dad. stuff like that. So only two days of work more and then I'll have three days off. This will be good for me I think.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, bpcyclist, Desoxyn, Sometimes psychotic
  #215  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:50 AM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
I got my new cross necklace in from Amazon that I ordered. It's nice. I should have gotten a 22 inch chain instead of a 20 inch chain but I can always do that later. It looks good. It's sterling silver. It's Russian Orthodox. It makes me happy.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, Blue_Bird, bpcyclist, Sometimes psychotic
  #216  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:50 AM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
Have to pay bills at work today. I'm waiting for the CFO to approve them so I can pay them. It's almost 10 AM and she hasn't approved them yet. Makes me a little stressed.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, bpcyclist
  #217  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 11:59 AM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
I am going to take Friday off of work. 1) my mom is bugging me about cleaning my room 2) I need a mental health day 3) I don't want to be at work right now. I just want a break. Maybe I will clean my room. Maybe. Then maybe take a walk, do some yoga, sleep in til like 6 AM, have breakfast with my Dad. stuff like that. So only two days of work more and then I'll have three days off. This will be good for me I think.
You deserve some time off =]

Make the best of it!

I'm not working right now which is why I'm really thankful and want to make the best out of it as possible and be productive to finding out what I really want to do - But also sorting out all the crap. I can't focus when I have to deal with so much noise, psychosis and med panic.

Edit: Happy birthday job!
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Job 30 26, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, bpcyclist, Job 30 26
  #218  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 01:03 PM
Erti's Avatar
Erti Erti is offline
Princess Tutu
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 7,913
Quote:
Originally Posted by unsure123 View Post
My Grandad died last night Roll Call 167 :)
my condolence
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
  #219  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 01:53 PM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,919
The food smells so good
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, bpcyclist, newtus, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
  #220  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 01:58 PM
Sometimes psychotic's Avatar
Sometimes psychotic Sometimes psychotic is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,427
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
The food smells so good

That’s my number one issue with crock pots, you can smell it like 2hrs before it’s ready, lol.
__________________
Hugs!
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, Blue_Bird, bpcyclist, SlumberKitty
  #221  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 02:09 PM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
Sundays are usually our crock pot days. Put in a roast, some potatoes, some carrots and mmm does it smell good all day. By the time it gets to dinner it's like so yummy and delicious and I can't wait to eat it.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, Blue_Bird, bpcyclist
  #222  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 02:58 PM
Anonymous43528
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Thanks for the condolences everyone
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, bpcyclist, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
  #223  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 03:43 PM
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist bpcyclist is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
This is what I wrote;

"Clydamicin cream
22 zopiclone left
16 vyvanse left
20 days of atenolol left
2x 3 weeks invega sustenna left

I was taking the diazepam once a night every 2-3 nights - There was no problem.

Was at the end of my Invega injection - Which is a big deal after 4 weeks. I had another meltdown or psychotic break like I did on the 15th

After I got my injection, I was waiting for it to kick in so I was taking one PRN olanzepine a day

I was blaming my mom for things - She was never this concerned about me before and used to severely neglect me while I was mentally ill so no one is checking up on my mental state or anything like they are now - So people now notice even the slightest changes that I make to my meds

I took 40mg of Vyvanse (Because I had a bottle of 20 - I’ll bring them back to the pharmacy after this appointment) at 6pm on the 5th of June and stayed up all night - Then took alprazolam to sleep which messed up my tolerance.

I slept in for the next few days because I messed up my sleep schedule by only falling alseep at 3-4am and waking up at 1-2pm so I didn’t make any appointments with my psychiatrist or therapist - Also because I need to prepare what I want to say cuz I’m dealing with so much ****

Last night I tried to go to sleep at 11pm by taking a zopiclone and two shots of wine (Because I ran out of diazepam - The pharmacist recommended to take for a few days then PRN instead of every night for 2 weeks) but it didn’t work so I stayed up until 4am and then went to sleep - By the time I was falling asleep, the cats scratching at the carpet and meowing in the morning woke me up

I decided to get out of bed, cook breakfast and took 40mg of Vyvanse because it’s better than 50mg if I’m hiking

I was going to go on a hike today but my mom is sleeping in so I made an appointment with you

I messed up. I don't really care anymore because no one will take me seriously now."
I think we are all taking you very seriously, Desoxyn. Hope the appt. goes well.
__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
Thanks for this!
WastingAsparagus
  #224  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 03:45 PM
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist bpcyclist is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
I got my new cross necklace in from Amazon that I ordered. It's nice. I should have gotten a 22 inch chain instead of a 20 inch chain but I can always do that later. It looks good. It's sterling silver. It's Russian Orthodox. It makes me happy.
I have always wanted one. Maybe I could get one, too.
__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
  #225  
Old Jun 10, 2020, 03:54 PM
Angelique67's Avatar
Angelique67 Angelique67 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Job 30 26 View Post
Using my second wireless charger at work. It was a good investment. My uncle iz trying to get in an argument. No way im taking the bait lol.
Happy Birthday, Job! Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)Roll Call 167 :)
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Job 30 26
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Job 30 26
Reply
Views: 24754

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:59 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.