Roll Call 173

Hopefully, the Vraylar will do it. I have never tried it.

Yeah, just have to practice patience w these changes. You can do it. Good job!

THanks, I'll ask my doctor about it!

There is also Namenda, amantadine, and others out there.

Hugs.

Something isn’t right with me. Aside from the fact that it may be true that my lips are slightly swollen... I seem to think parts of my body are sick. Like my lips being swollen etc.

I think I’m entering another setback. I can’t afford this with my time or even want this to happen.

I feel awful. Mentally and emotionally. I’m depressed again. I hate it. Not liking life right now.

Sorry, newtus. Did you tell the doctors yet? Swollen lips can be an allergy sometimes.

Hugs.

Hey people: does anyone have tips on how to get motivated for school? I have homework to do that I have procrastinated in doing. I know people just say to "just get started" or whatever, and I'm planning on it at some point, but I need some help getting motivated, I guess.

I can’t tell if they are actually swollen tho or not. They might be. Or maybe not. Btw don’t take a Benadryl and drink alcohol. I’m just saying to y’all for future information...

Anyway

It’s like I have no support anywhere. Except for my dad.

My mom and my fiancé can’t put up with my MI. I get it. No matter how hard I try or what I’ve done tho, it’s always that I’m not doing enough. I wish people understood that tough love or being mean doesn’t do anything for MI. It makes it worse. Because it’s an illness. It has to be treated for the person to understand the words of advice they need.

I don’t get people. I just don’t. My mom and fiancé might’ve both been showing tough love towards me yesterday and today, but their chosen words hurt me badly. Maybe my mom was and maybe my fiancé was just being rude/mean.

My mom told me I need to stop crying about things and just do them. I haven’t cried in awhile? And that advice never helped me ever. If I can’t come to a realization or a meaningful answer to my issues, which does happen for me, then I won’t be able to do anything.

Down another half pound. 154.6 now

Sometimes I set rewards like if I finish x then I can play video games or whatever.....

Not everyone will Be as understanding as a therapist or your dad....unfortunately people are often self oriented ....they think along the lines of if I have have to do it or if this works for me then it should work for you also. For me I expect basic respect but not agreement on the best course of action.....bf kept telling me to just find a job and not go back to school. I went back to school anyway because you can’t just get a job with a random bachelors now....he was thinking of when he had to change fields and they just trained him....this was of course the eighties lol.

Yes and that’s always my grave mistake I make... thinking people MIGHT understand and I get proven wrong time and time again. But the few people I know that do understand is why I take chances on people understanding. I just have to go through a lot of BS people to get there. Idk a better way

My mom won’t ever understand and Idk why I can’t get over that. Fiancé understands sometimes but sometimes he is not understanding and gets really frustrated with me and it’s extremely hurtful. He said the reason we have a mouse in the house was because I don’t keep it clean. Which I don’t think that’s it. They were there, along with these roaches, the 3rd day we were in here and it was as clean as it could be I suppose and just otherwise not cluttered. I also ask him tho to clean his plates or use the disposable ones most of the time and he doesn’t listen. He is also messier than me, WAY WAY WAY messier. So idk how I’m the sole proprietor to this mouse being in here or anything else. My dads house as cluttered as it was didn’t have roaches.

I was gonna say this.

If there’s an incentive later on I’m more inclined to get something done. Otherwise, no incentive, no point. But the incentive can be something even like binging tv for awhile.

As long as there is pet food around it’s hard to keep them away....

That’s true and I think that’s why Xena chewed a hole in the flat part of the wall. A big A S - hole, too...

So Newtus...I guess for me I don’t expect other people without MI to get me....that’s why I’ve got you guys..,..

Makes sense. Idk why I expect people to get me. I really don’t.

Like I logically know people won’t but deep down maybe I dream one day people will just be like “oh now I understand “

I’m freezing

Forgot to show y’all the flowers my dad bought me yesterday.

Bad lighting, sorry. The kitchen light is out.

Actually think they look even better with the unusual lighting.....

It’s really hard for people who haven’t experienced it.....as a result that means you can’t get all your needs met by one person, you need a team of friends and family ...

Took a short walk. It's super hot out. I was gonna walk for longer but I don't think I could have handled it today with the heat. Maybe I could have, Idk. I didn't have my backpack on and I feel naked without it, it's like a security blanket along with my purse. lol At least I got out and walked. The more I do it the easier it will get. I'll take a longer walk tomorrow

Day 3 of no sweets. Had a dream about Reese's last night.