Hi all,
My name is Ali. I'm 31 and have three little boys, including one with special needs. I have bipolar II and the severity has really come and gone at different times. It got bad during my 3rd pregnancy, so we are DONE with kids. I wanted to find a group of people online who "get it" because I feel like bipolar is a mental health issue that still has a lot of stigma around it (even though I "came out" about it on my blog, which is public).

I work from home and honestly, that's probably the best thing for me because I'm a freelancer (editor) and can control my hours. I think I would not be able to handle a FT job outside the house right now.

I'm only on lamictal but on 200-300 mg.

[gillgirl]

Hello, My name is Dawn. I'm a 28 year old, married mother of two boys. I have been suffering from depression since I was 14 years old. I have been on and off Prozac since. My last dose of Prozac was March 2011 and since then I have been on a crazy, angery, sad rollercoaster.

With the help of my husband I was able to get into see someone to figure out what is going on. FINALLY I recieved a diagnosis of BiPolar. This is scary and relieving. I am just now beginning meds and working with my doc to find the right combination.

I'm looking for support and advice on how to handle the day to day. And maybe just someone I can talk with.

Thanks for listening
Dawn

[Sweet Digital Fits]

Hi, new here. I was diagnosed in 1996 with depression and atypical bipolar. I hae been on the same meds depakote and zoloft since 1996. As with most people with bipolar, I love the highs, but hate the lows. What I do to fill my day is work a couple days a week at a used bookstore/coffeeshop, take care of my wife, my chihuahua/poodle and babysit from time to time. Not sure what else to say.

[Weemachi1]

Hello, my name is Tina. I have been struggling with Bipolar 1- Rapid Cycling for most of my adult life. It only became a "problem" when I was 30yrs old, at which point my life was crazy enough to seek help. Now, 32yrs old, I'm not sure whether to be happy I sought the help of a psychiatrist or not. It seems my mania is under control, however I seem to keep slipping in a delusional depression. The delusion is regarding death. Always death. And the fear of it. I don't recall ever experiencing these delusions prior to my treatment. I am also experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. I am currently taking; Seroquel 300mg, Lithium 900mg, Trileptal 900mg, Temazepam 30mg, Ativan 0.5mg as needed. So, I guess I just wondering if anyone else has experienced similar depressive symptoms or not? And any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Primal Pain]

Hello. My name is Dragica and I suffer from Bipolar disorder (I don`t know which type as we in Serbia have different names for types of Bipolar)

I was hospitalized twice. My earlier diagnosis were Borderline personality disorder and depression. I feel the urge to explore more about my condition so I came here. I take meds on a daily basis for two years now. I`ve continued my study at Faculty of law after a year of brake after my first hospitalization. I also need support from those of you who know exactly how it feels to have a problem and I also want to help others with the things I went through, if I can. I also feel very nervous when I`m around unknown people.

[notALICE]

Originally Posted by gillgirl

Hello, My name is Dawn. I'm a 28 year old, married mother of two boys. I have been suffering from depression since I was 14 years old. I have been on and off Prozac since. My last dose of Prozac was March 2011 and since then I have been on a crazy, angery, sad rollercoaster.

With the help of my husband I was able to get into see someone to figure out what is going on. FINALLY I recieved a diagnosis of BiPolar. This is scary and relieving. I am just now beginning meds and working with my doc to find the right combination.

I'm looking for support and advice on how to handle the day to day. And maybe just someone I can talk with.

Thanks for listening
Dawn

Hi Dawn -same boat, more of less, well I'm a little older, mom to lots, one son (17) was just Dx, and a week later I was. My GP put me on antidepressants and I kept getting worse (and telling him)...after 3 months I was in acute mania and diagnosed properly. It took me 20+ years...and all the signs were there.
It's good your husband was there to help, mine...love him, but out to sea, and doesn't want to hear about it.
Day to day? Best you can? Lots of good books, resources on here. There's a daily mood tracker & journal feature I've started using. Help establish patterns. Sleep is very important. I'm still adjusting to new meds also. So I'm still not feeling normal, but more than happy to listen.
How old are your boys?

[notALICE]

Originally Posted by acfsrva

Hi all,
My name is Ali. I'm 31 and have three little boys, including one with special needs. I have bipolar II and the severity has really come and gone at different times. It got bad during my 3rd pregnancy, so we are DONE with kids. I wanted to find a group of people online who "get it" because I feel like bipolar is a mental health issue that still has a lot of stigma around it (even though I "came out" about it on my blog, which is public).

I work from home and honestly, that's probably the best thing for me because I'm a freelancer (editor) and can control my hours. I think I would not be able to handle a FT job outside the house right now.

I'm only on lamictal but on 200-300 mg.

Hi Ali! Welcome! It's great you work from home. I had a FT job just recently and could not handle it, between, family, work, kids...

Unfortunately there is stigma though lots of organizations are trying to change that. (Look up: "No Kidding! Me Too", "NAMI") lol too new to insert links yet

How's Lamictal working? I heard great things, but got a rash at a very low starting dose. My son also

[notALICE]

Originally Posted by Primal Pain

Hello. My name is Dragica and I suffer from Bipolar disorder (I don`t know which type as we in Serbia have different names for types of Bipolar)

I was hospitalized twice. My earlier diagnosis were Borderline personality disorder and depression. I feel the urge to explore more about my condition so I came here. I take meds on a daily basis for two years now. I`ve continued my study at Faculty of law after a year of brake after my first hospitalization. I also need support from those of you who know exactly how it feels to have a problem and I also want to help others with the things I went through, if I can. I also feel very nervous when I`m around unknown people.

Welcome Dragica!

[Acension]

HI Everyone. I'm 29 years old. I was diagnosed last year while undergoing a Manic episode with Psychosis. I was force medicated for over a month with Lithium and Risperidone. I had to taper off the meds over 6 months. I'm med free and I've managed to loose 15lbs from the 25lb weight gain from the meds. I'm 5'5 125 lbs. I was severely depressed following my manic episode and had it not been for the Lithium and Risperidone, I would have recovered from my depression a lot sooner. I just had a session of Biofeedback and it shows that I'm doing much better. My brain is healthier. My mood and motivation have gone from 0-7. On my way to Hypomania, my baseline state where I am highly creative yet functional and not a danger to myself.

[Shortie87X]

Hi, I'm just going to go by Shortie on this forum. I'm a new member. My question is not for myself, but for my mother.

Over the past four years, my mother has been becoming increasingly religious as well as increasingly emotional. She talks constantly of how God is thing over us so we must have a care for our actions both in front of others and in the privacy of our own home. Yet she really doesn't seem to "have a care" under any circumstances. She's loud, says exactly what she thinks, and calls anyone who disagrees with her "ignorant." She says that she should already be retired and that she does loads of work and her job is so harsh, yet she is a personal trainer with at most three sessions per day, four days per week. After work, she naps. Yet she is constantly stressed and also has horrible "road rage."

I would also like to share a specific situation. One day while my mother was out, she called my dad and asked him to defrost hotdogs. He did, and left them in a container with some hot water on the counter. My mom came home extremely happy and had bought a gift for me. As she set some stuff down on the counter, she tipped the hot dogs over and the bit of water spilled out, thus causing her to lash out angrily with a myriad of curses. I tried to calm her down and said "Mom, don't worry, it's just water, it isn't that difficult to clean up," and she responded by taking my present away and yelling at me not to lecture her.

She does things like this frequently. While it used to be every once in a while several years ago, as she's become more religious these outbursts have increased in frequency. Is this bipolar disorder? I obviously cannot suggest to her in her state that she needs to get a mental health diagnosis, so I am searching for help on this forum.

Someone, please answer?

[pupil]

Originally Posted by deprofundis

Morning, all. My name is Rene. This is the first time I've ever considered talking to other people on a message board about my condition, my problems, my ongoing battle with Bipolar I, dissociation/depersonalization, and OCD tendencies. After 7 years of misdiagnoses (and a 2-year stint of intense treatment for Dissociative Identity Disorder, which I didn't have), I was finally diagnosed properly and put on the right medication. I'm a working professional and reasonably stable but with an everyday baseline of lingering depression. My life is empty. I don't do well with people. I've never had a single romantic relationship before, only brief encounters. I feel highly uncomfortable in crowds and around people I don't know. When I'm at work, that's the only time I can keep it fully together -- I literally split, into a different kind of person, to keep super-stable in my job and be able to handle being around other people and deal with my many responsibilities. The moment I walk out of the doors and get into my car to go home, though, this persona drops and I'm often then overwhelmed by exhaustion, irritability, and simmering depression. I don't know where I'm going in my life. I turned 27 this year and, while some people think that's young, considering what I haven't yet achieved or even gotten close to achieving, I feel like a complete failure. No relationship, no further in my chosen profession, no graduate degree, no financial stability, loads of debt from manic spending sprees, etc. On top of all of this, every day I think about the darkness. The days spent locked in my room, completely overtaken by severe, psychotic mixed episodes, filling whiteboards with what I thought was the secret of life itself... cutting, picking, and being self-destructive. Loss of any and all control. And, now, I constantly feel the need, the urge to get it back. To let go. To give up and let myself fall back into the darkness.

I guess I just didn't know where to turn, and so I turned here.

WOW I concur! I am 47 and still feel like you describe. After about 10 yrs. of medication trials I feel pretty good, but...it's right under the surface isn't it? Don't judge yourself based on what you haven't achieved, be grateful for what you have!

[notALICE]

Originally Posted by Shortie87X

Hi, I'm just going to go by Shortie on this forum. I'm a new member. My question is not for myself, but for my mother.

Over the past four years, my mother has been becoming increasingly religious as well as increasingly emotional. She talks constantly of how God is thing over us so we must have a care for our actions both in front of others and in the privacy of our own home. Yet she really doesn't seem to "have a care" under any circumstances. She's loud, says exactly what she thinks, and calls anyone who disagrees with her "ignorant." She says that she should already be retired and that she does loads of work and her job is so harsh, yet she is a personal trainer with at most three sessions per day, four days per week. After work, she naps. Yet she is constantly stressed and also has horrible "road rage."

I would also like to share a specific situation. One day while my mother was out, she called my dad and asked him to defrost hotdogs. He did, and left them in a container with some hot water on the counter. My mom came home extremely happy and had bought a gift for me. As she set some stuff down on the counter, she tipped the hot dogs over and the bit of water spilled out, thus causing her to lash out angrily with a myriad of curses. I tried to calm her down and said "Mom, don't worry, it's just water, it isn't that difficult to clean up," and she responded by taking my present away and yelling at me not to lecture her.

She does things like this frequently. While it used to be every once in a while several years ago, as she's become more religious these outbursts have increased in frequency. Is this bipolar disorder? I obviously cannot suggest to her in her state that she needs to get a mental health diagnosis, so I am searching for help on this forum.

Someone, please answer?

Dear Shortie,

It's hard to say, even professionals sometimes have a hard time diagnosing. The cause could be many things.

I'm not a medical professional, just recently found out I was Bipolar myself, and even that took awhile to pinpoint by my Dr. Anger was one of my symptoms but only one of many... And for a short periods, not all the time.

There are links to the signs & symptoms on this site, but it's really something a Dr needs to answer. Maybe your dad can talk to her? Have you talked to him about it?

I hope it get's better!

[themoonandbach]

Hello everyone! I am 28 years old and I was diagnosed bipolar 3 and a half years ago. I've seen therapists and psychs and am on several meds. I just feel like its not enough. Im still having some issues. Not sure what to do. I am open to any thoughts!

[notALICE]

Originally Posted by themoonandbach

Hello everyone! I am 28 years old and I was diagnosed bipolar 3 and a half years ago. I've seen therapists and psychs and am on several meds. I just feel like its not enough. Im still having some issues. Not sure what to do. I am open to any thoughts!

I'm newly diagnosed & don't have much by the way of experience to offer, but thoughts...always I'm going to a local DBSA (Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance) support group later this week. I figured (same as being a part of PC) that talking to others will be good. It also gets me out of the house. I've been isolating a bit. I'll let you know how it goes.

When I'm depressed I don't want to go anywhere & when I'm manic (still a bit ATM) I'm sometimes afraid of being too scattered to be in public & have little patience with people.

Welcome!

[Currentlyjenn]

I'm Jenn. I have been diagnosed as bipolar NOS, have generalized anxiety disorder, ADHD,and major depression. My earliest memory of any psych problems was when I was about 7 years old. I wasn't diagnosed with depression until about 17. I first attempted suicide at the age of 13 by trying to OD on pills. Clearly, I was unsuccessful.

I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until about 4 years or so ago and I've been on a huge variation of medication since then. Nothing seems to work. I was hospitalized in October of last year because I was having suicidal ideations after a manic episode. I have never felt so normal in my life as I did when I was in the facility. I found great comfort in being around other people who had similar experiences as me. It felt so good to be able to share symptoms and know that I am not alone.

I got switched around on some medications and everything appeared to be okay. I had to drop out of my semester at college and so I had nothing to do all day. Before I knew it, I was sleeping all day. I've gained 60 lbs in 6 months, sleep for way more than 10 hours a day and am still exhausted, I have lost interest in leaving my apartment and have a really, really hard time making it to class or finishing my graduate school applications. I've been depressed for 6 months with no relief in sight.

Anyway, I have reached out on the internet because I need a support group. I need to have people who know how this feels and I need to talk to people. I do see a therapist, but I need "real" people with "real" problems to talk to. I'm hoping to find that here. I'm honestly feeling pretty crazy right now because of the depression. I'm not suicidal at all, just exhausted. Anyway, I'm rambling. What I really meant to say was, "hi, I'm Jenn".

Thanks for letting me ramble.

[angel24]

Hi I am 33 I have two kids, live in morley mi been in a relationship for 15 years. My Family has a history of mental health problems. I have bipolar 1 and I have anxiety along with panic attacks, and I allso am afraid of thunderstorms every time theres a thunderstorm I get severe panic, and I shake, and cry. Right know I'm experiencing hullucinatons and hereing things, I've been manic for a while know, and my thoughts are vivid, I want extra help but my family don't think I need it but I feel I do. PLEASE HELP any suggestons thanks

[notALICE]

Dear Angel,

I think your instincts are right, especially with the symptoms of hallucinations, you do need extra help. Do you have a primary Dr for your Bipolar Disorder? When I had some of these symptoms my Dr strongly urged me to have a psych eval, and possibly be hospitalized for a few days to straighten out my medication and symptoms. He stressed it was dangerous to try to do it on my own. I was in Acute Mania, which is serious.

I don't say that to scare you or cause you more anxiety, but there is help out there. At this point, it would be best if it's professional help.

Family means well, but they don't always understand the severity of the condition when it's in an acute stage like this.

I'm not a medical professional, just passing on my own experience. You shouldn't have to suffer through this.

Very best of luck. Please take care of yourself FIRST, otherwise you won't be able to take care of other responsibilities.

[catsrhelm]

Good morning, everyone. Just call me Cat. I have been bi-polar for three years now. I am glad I found Psych Central because the Depression and Bi-Polar Alliance meets at an inconvient time for me. I am bi-polar II. I take Tegretol and Abilify.

[angel24]

Im thinking about getting extra help but my other half won't let me. He said that it won't help me. I'm thinking about going back to the hospital so I can get my meds straightin out somebody please help me tell me what im supposed to do

[Weston Taylor]

Hey everyone, my name is Weston Taylor and I was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 4 months ago so a lot of this is very new to me. I have a few family members that have bipolar so it is not to much surprise that it has become my turn to inherit the reigns. I have ADHD so I know what it is like to live with a monkey on your back constantly trying to fight for your attention and seeing that bipolar is a comorbitiy of ADHD just made sense to me.

I am 21 and finishing up my last semeter at Clemson University as a Spanish Major and religion minor and had my first hypomanic episode that scared the bejesus out of my mother and that is what started the diagnostic process. At the start of it I was extremely resistent to accepting it and refused to take any medication because I thought it would take away from who I was, so I learned the importance of mood stabilizers the hard way. I am here to learn more about myself while also learning more about other people and how to better manage my bipolar disorder. I still have my ups and downs (it was actually a depressive state that brought me here) but it's a simple fact of life i suppose. Looking forward to meeting you all.

[LucidLucy]

Hello everyone I’m Lucy and I was diagnosed Bipolar1 in 2011. I was over 50 and it was a real surprise but I ended up in the hospital in full blown mania so they were pretty insistant about my dx.

I’ve always had a productive and fairly happy life with a good career history and been self-supporting so it was easy to hope that they were just mistaken about my diagnosis or that I have a very “mild” case or something and wouldn’t need meds. I had an insurance issue at the time but I managed to stay on Seroquel & Depokote for about 6 months.

Sadly, 10 months after discontinuing those meds I ended up back in the hospital for another week in full blown mania and psychotic as hell. Fortunately my psychosis isn’t violent, I’m more like a happy drunk ( I don’t drink) who thinks she’s an opera singer or an actress or some other fun delusions that get too carried away.

Fortunately I am now getting the care that I need. The insurance issue is resolved. I have a very good therapist and a Pdoc who work in the same office and I think it’s a good relationship. They listen to me and adjust meds in a timely way and I am feeling pretty good today.

With my therapist we are working on my understanding that I have this disorder, that I have it not in a minor way, but in a serious way. So acceptance has come much faster this time. And that I need to know the signs and reach for help immediately. I did not recognize what was happening even though it was the 2nd occurrence and even tho I had read up on bipolar. I am still a little nervous about this part. I don’t want to go off the deep end ever again. It is hard on my loved ones and I am very lucky that my employer is very helpful and I want to keep it that way.

This seems like a good forum. I see many good posts here and I’m glad to have found you all.

Lucy

[tnt4lyfe72]

Originally Posted by Merlin

My name is Laura and I live in western Canada. I have type II bipolar and post traumatic stress disorder. I am currently stable due to effective medication and am devoting the efforts I used towards getting well towards helping others get well too. I am a community rehabilitation worker and am taking a bachelors in social work focusing on mental illness.

hi laura i to have ptsd.however i am not here for me.i recently wemt thru a messy break up and am now staying w/ a friend who is bi polar.she takes clonipin.she was really messed up last nite and she told me she took heer entire daily dose in 1 shot,4 at 1 time instead of 1- 4 times a day cuz she was manic.she couldn't keep her eyes open.she got real irate w/ me cuz i was concerned about her.she yelled and screamed at me saying her dr. said it was ok.have u ever heard non sense like that ever???i have not.thanks i would really appreciate sum advice on this matter im truly worried bout her.thx

[tnt4lyfe72]

Originally Posted by notALICE

Dear Angel,

I think your instincts are right, especially with the symptoms of hallucinations, you do need extra help. Do you have a primary Dr for your Bipolar Disorder? When I had some of these symptoms my Dr strongly urged me to have a psych eval, and possibly be hospitalized for a few days to straighten out my medication and symptoms. He stressed it was dangerous to try to do it on my own. I was in Acute Mania, which is serious.

I don't say that to scare you or cause you more anxiety, but there is help out there. At this point, it would be best if it's professional help.

Family means well, but they don't always understand the severity of the condition when it's in an acute stage like this.

I'm not a medical professional, just passing on my own experience. You shouldn't have to suffer through this.

Very best of luck. Please take care of yourself FIRST, otherwise you won't be able to take care of other responsibilities.

hi alice have a question bout a friend.she takes klonipin as well,shes supposed to take 2mg 4 times a day.last nite she took 4 2mg at 1 time and said dr said that was ok.i think that was too much she couldnt keep her eyes open and was nodding and slurring.have you ever heard of taking that much??

Hi. My name is Michelle. I was diagnosed Bipolar II and ADHD in Feb. Of this year after completing the MMPI and a computerized ADHD test. I will be 45 years old soon. Although I am "newly" or "officially" diagnosed, I have always known some things weren't quite right with my mood swings, depressed feelings and anger control issues among other things. In my late 20's I did seek out assistance from therapist's and psychiatrists and I was put on a few different antidepressants that were not effective and did not help manage any of the symptoms I was a seeking to control. None of them suggested I actually get tested. Nor was i ever formally diagnosed. They based their "treatment" on conjecture and my self self reports of what I was experiencing (moods, feelings, anger, etc...) Perhaps in the end I did not articulate my distress clearly enough. Funny, because I am a professional, full time working mother of 3 wonderful boys....ironically as a social worker. I make a living helping families identify needs and strengths and ensure they access services necessary to live happy and productive lives. Hmmm...
I know nothing short of chaos and noise daily. I am more manic than depressed. I was put on ritalin and
lamictal at the end of Feb (25 mg to start) and had just increased to 50 mg at the beginning of March and ended up having what they eventually determined was an allergic reaction to that drug, that put me in the hospital for 8 days and nearly killed me I have never been allergic to any meds and have always been in remarkable shape/health and it wiped me out. Im finally, today feeling healthy and oh so close to my "normal".....but unmedicated for bipolar until final blood work indicates my liver is fully functional (damaged by reaction). I have continued to take Ritalin since being back to work at the end of March.
I am truly looking forward to finding the right "combo" of medication because I need and want help.
The bipolar has caused significant damage in relationships past and present (I just separated from my partner of 3 years), work (come a year at a job I'm bored and looking for the next one), my children's lives, financially (manic spending sprees since my first one at age 18), inability to follow through with simple things or make any plans (immediate or future), and just life in general, for as long as I can remember.
Moreover, I feel like an outsider in my own life.... like I can't choose what I really truly want, desire and know is right because of all the noise and chaos surrounding me most times. I do know I am, however responsible for all my action's and words. I can keep it all together at work with no problems. My ADHD gets the better of me there, but my Ritalin works great to keep me focused and on task. My anger, rages, mood swings, mania and a bit of depression consumes all other parts of my life probably 80% of the time.
I have been looking at the blogs, reading, researching, educating myself about what THIS truly is/means. I don't want this disorder but I have no choice. Its always been a part of. I'm mad "I have it". I hate how it makes me feel. But I also know I accept it and just want help. Im very interested in reading and hearing more from members that have and continue to struggle, about failures and successes. I want and need the insight and wisdom and perhaps advice from other bipolars (is that what we are called?)
I know how this has negatively impacted the most important parts of my life (my kids in particular) and I want to know that there is hope for managing and overcoming this disorder. I am a true optimist. I know I am a strong woman and I believe that the next half of my life will not be controlled by this disorder....I am looking for the support and the "how". I look forward to our future chats.

[EliseSmith8]

*PLEASE HELP. TWELVE AND UNSURE*
Hello, I am looking for advice. When I was ten years old I started to rage and scream at people at the wrong time for weeks. Other times I'd be smiling, joking, and laughing with my friends like nothing happened. By the time I reached eleven I became bulimic for four months. Then it became more serious and I became anorexic. I now have a therapist, but my outburts, moodswings, and bipolar habits have increased. I have not spoken to anyone about this except for my mother asking me if she thinks I am bipolar once. I do not know what to do, but I'm ruining my relationships with my friends and family. Please help me or point me in the right direction. Thank you so much.
-Elise