[bipomomma]

My name is cindy. I am a 29 year old mother of two. My husband and I have been married almost 8 years. When my daughter was born 7 years ago, it was wonderful. So wonderful in fact, that we decided to try for another child right after her first birthday. From 12 weeks gestation until present, my sons story has been anything but typical. Long story short, he was born with a rare form of spina bifida called lipomyelomeningocele. Shortly after his birth I started suffering from depression. After 2 years of constant Drs visits and playing with meds I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After another year we found an effective treatment and I continued that for 2 years. During that time I gained 50 lbs and it had a negative impact on my marriage. Now I am currently trying, unsuccessfully, to manage my symptoms through exercise and a healthy lifestyle. I will be adding Christian based therapy very soon. I have joined this forum to try and figure out how to manage my symptoms with minimal medication, if possible, as well as to benefit from the support of others affected by this madness.

[ParchworkQuilt]

Hi. I have bipolar disorder. I am in my late forties and have been taking medication for about 15 years, I have been on Wellbutrin, Lamotrigine and Zopiclone for about seven years. I have a great doctor. I was always considered difficult and moody from childhood. I didn't know my diagnosis until about four years ago. I always understood the depression side but never experienced the great highs of mania only extreme anger. I am married with three kids, one is an adult and lives elsewhere and two are school age and live with my husband and I. After being home with my kids for a few years I tried to re-enter the workforce about 4 years ago. I couldn't get full time permanent work. Working has always been very stressful and made me very anxious but most recently it has become clear I can't work with others. I have memory issues and hearing impairment which make things even worse. My doctor pressured me to apply for long term disability which I finally did. I am struggling to accept my LTD status and embrace life as a full-time homemaker which I find monotonous and unfulfilling at best. I am very isolated from friends and family. I have told a few people I have mental health problems and that usually ends the relationship. This is very hard on my kids who are friendly and outgoing. My doctor would like me to connect with others, perhaps through a local mental health agency, volunteering or health club, but I have reservations. Hoping to connect with some people here in the forums, maybe build up my confidence to get out in the community.

[lecajun]

My name is Cajun and I have been diagnosed with Bipolar I last spring, at age 28.

I have suffered through my first depression at age 17 and started treatment (first SSRIs, then Bupropion) for depressive disorder at age 23, after my second depression. Although my dad was diagnosed with BPD1 since I was 16 (and after years of struggles), I guess we had a taboo in the family and did not want to admit we, the children, could be as well.

I did not accept/realize my feeling better and my subsequent crazy high productivity and happiness to be symptoms of a disease and went through a series of cycles between ages 23 and 28… Until my cycles reached epic proportions.

Last year, I have been going through a depression of depth I could not imagine possible. I have been very badly diagnosed and treated, again with bupropion, and after months of increasing treatment, reached a two weeks mania, followed by an equally long mixed state, including mild psychosis. These weeks have truly been the longest of my life and had devastating consequences on my relationships.

Late in the spring, I started to see specialists that finally diagnosed with my BPD1 and am taking Agomelatin ever since. I have slowly started to emerge from what will have been a 9 months depression punctuated with rapid cycles. I agreed with the therapists that we would wait until further cycles develop to add a true mood stabilizer to the mix.

The reason I am sharing my story with you today is threefold:
First, I think it is important for me to share feelings and experiences with people that can actually understand them. I have found extremely hard to share these feelings with my friends as I think they might not be able to understand the full spectrum of emotions we bipolars can experience

Second, I am currently feeling a relapse in depression and would love to share insights with people that have experiences depression of similar lengths (1 year +) and how they have managed it, because it is getting increasingly difficult to me

Third, I would like to share that the Agomelatin has had sexual side effects on me. I have shared it with my psychiatrist and he has prescribed Cialis to me. I would love to understand if this is a common practice to mix Antidepressants with ED drugs, because although quite effective I do not know if it sustanaible

I am very open to feedback and would love to receive some, I am simply trying to make my life happier and would love to help others as well.

Thank you for reading me

[BlueInanna]

Hi and welcome everybody. Glad you found us.

[nowaitaminute]

Originally Posted by Merlin

I am glad you came by for support and answers, these forums are invaluable for that and the chats, hosted or not, provide that as well.

I am glad you are experiencing stability, though it's unfortunate that your baseline still has depressive symptoms. There are a variety of non-medication treatments that we can discuss with you, such as exercise.

There are many people that believe in the importance of spirituality whether formal or informal.

Absolutely true! I was diagnosed at the age of 37 with Bipolar I after the birth of our youngest, my daughter. In my case, hormonal upheaval in my body causes flare up in my 'appliance' aka...this brain I use that's wired differently than most of the population's. I've had luck w/Valprocic Acid, (Depakote, Devalproex Sodium).
Omega 3's are no joke in your daily diet; get w/ a good M.D.. I have not had a bout of sleeplessness in over 12yrs. by taking good care to eat healthy, exercise and avoid relationships that perpetuate unhealthy thought patterns and/or abusive attitudes (are they really your friends, anyway?).
Eat more leafy green vegetables? Wait, that's good for everyone.
Like any kind of social reform, or transformation of perception, having Bipolar Disorder is not different in the struggle and endurance required to bring about change. It is unique in that that are so many variances in how it affects each of us; that eludes to questions of it actually being a form of brain damage that happens very early in life, say...from not absorbing proteins properly as an infant (?) Fascinating! But, then, so was the example of hypomania you just read.

[Br0k3nW1ng3d]

Hello everyone. I am new to the forums, but not quite new to this disorder.
I am a 28 year old female, and have been living with all the signs of bipolar II since the onset of puberty. It was within the last 3 months that I officially got the assistance I needed and started therapy and medication regimens. Now I am facing the acceptance that this will be part of my life for the long term. I don't want to suffer anymore and can use encouragement and friends.

[Verbal_Violet4u]

Hi my name is brittney, I am.. well i guess the word is just not enough to explain sometimes "crazy".. but clinical diagnosis "Bipolar II", PTSD, OCD, and have considered the possibility that i might have "Agoriphobia" not really talked about>? but not really getting out much to find out. I guess im just here to read and ask a few things.. Not too sure what i'd be looking for or what would help at the moment. I just want to find out what exactly i could do to be or feel better..because the meds dont help they prescribe anything that comes to mind without even understanding what my symtoms are>? because the wide array of diagnostic failure.. and disapointment.. I just gave up on them before they distroied my mind and my body! im affraid,tired and sceptical..Of what they might want me to do "or do for me".
Just want to say thankyou for allowing me to exspress myself and interact with other people with similar disorders.

[Slow Grafitti]

Hi, I'm 20 years old and have been having suicidal thoughts. I can't find any joy in anything I do, and I just don't see the point in living anymore. I'm sick of the constant ups and downs and can't continue like this much longer. Whenever I am up, I know the next depression moment is just around the corner. I feel like a burden to everyone I know, and I just don't know what to do. I need some help or advice or something?

[tribalwolf]

This is not my first attempt at joining a support group, I was a member of a different group for over two years but left there because my girlfriend is also a member of the group and it left us both feeling like there were certain times that we could not share, so I came looking for a new group and hope to find one here at psych Central bipolar forum.

A little about me, only 48-year-old man who has been diagnosed with bipolar 1, PTSD, and borderline personality traits. I have not had the great history with this illness, been in and out of hospitals numerous times over the years the last one being in December 2010.

I do have a problem with medications, rather staying on them I do not like psych meds but I am presently on Trileptal 600 mg, Abilify 20 mg and Klonopin 1 mg twice a day.

This is all a little overwhelming because I am not familiar with your forums or how they work. I hope this will be successful not only for myself but that I might be able to help others with my experiences thank you.

The Wolf

[marta.k]

I'm 15 is it possible for me to have a bipolar disorder ? since i was goign throught a rough time when my parents got split up and i have a very low self confidence .I cry a lot and get angry really easily .The last day I cut myself and have suicidal thoughts for a good few weeks .I'm happy but sad most of the times . Now I cant even control it anymore .

[Tuff_stough91]

Hi all. I'm a 22 y/o college student, with a recent diagnosis of "Mood disorder: Not otherwise specified", and ADHD. The doc says I'm too young, the symptoms are too fuzzy, the stress is too high, and there's too much overlap with the ADHD to be sure yet if I'm bipolar or not. I've never been full-blown manic before, just in the hypomanic range. Definitely depressed though.
I've wondered about it since I was 16, I would just like someone to tell me what's wrong with my head and fix it. Currently on Wellbutrin because the Celexa made me a horrible level of manic.
Right this second I'm fighting off a hypomanic episode...it's been pushing at me for a few days now - I haven't slept all night and I have to go to school tomorrow and I can't slow down and I can't get my homework done and I can't stop thinking but I feel terrible. So I decided to try and find a forum so someone can tell me what to do with my head when I get like this. I don't like the shrinks and the therapists, they haven't walked in my shoes. I'm in nursing, and there is no better way to get judged and marginalized than be in the medical profession with a problem. Anyway I wanted to talk to someone who knows where my head is and can help me cope with it...not just make coddling noises while taking notes on me.

So hi all.

[Reality_Perfection]

Originally Posted by Tuff_stough91

Hi all. I'm a 22 y/o college student, with a recent diagnosis of "Mood disorder: Not otherwise specified", and ADHD. The doc says I'm too young, the symptoms are too fuzzy, the stress is too high, and there's too much overlap with the ADHD to be sure yet if I'm bipolar or not. I've never been full-blown manic before, just in the hypomanic range. Definitely depressed though.
I've wondered about it since I was 16, I would just like someone to tell me what's wrong with my head and fix it. Currently on Wellbutrin because the Celexa made me a horrible level of manic.
Right this second I'm fighting off a hypomanic episode...it's been pushing at me for a few days now - I haven't slept all night and I have to go to school tomorrow and I can't slow down and I can't get my homework done and I can't stop thinking but I feel terrible. So I decided to try and find a forum so someone can tell me what to do with my head when I get like this. I don't like the shrinks and the therapists, they haven't walked in my shoes. I'm in nursing, and there is no better way to get judged and marginalized than be in the medical profession with a problem. Anyway I wanted to talk to someone who knows where my head is and can help me cope with it...not just make coddling noises while taking notes on me.

So hi all.

Hey! I am 20 years old and was just diagnosed about 3 months ago with Bipolar 1. I know how you feel because what you are currently dealing with is how I felt before getting diagnosed and treated. I also have ADHD. As for me, I had to go through multiple psychiatrists to find one that diagnosed me correctly and started my treatment plan. Like you, I was on Celexa before getting diagnosed and it made me very manic. I don't take it anymore thankfully. I know what it's like to feel chaotic inside. I hated it. If you don't feel like you're getting the right treatment then I would suggest searching around for different psychiatrists. Before being diagnosed with bipolar, I was misdiagnosed with only depression. While I do get depressed sometimes that wasn't the only thing going on with me. You can tell your psychiatrist that you're worried your current treatment isn't working for you. Being 22 is not too young to be diagnosed as bipolar in fact it happens a lot. Just be honest with your doctor and if he isn't meeting your needs find another one and so on.

Good luck and we are here for you if you need us! Take care

[jaz1278]

Hi, my name is Jasmine. I was diagnosed as being Bipolar about 10 years ago. I am a 33 year old mother of 4 step-children who live with me and my husband full time. My Meds did a great job controlling my moods until about 2 years ago. At that point we started having to play with combos and doses. Every time we think we got it right my brain says “HA! Fooled you! Let’s get back on the roller-coaster”. I am trying to find a new therapist but I am not having a lot of luck. I stopped seeing my old one because I didn’t feel like he was taking me seriously.
I don’t have anyone in my life that really gets me. I do not know another person who has bipolar disorder or any other similar thing that I could talk with. I found you guys and hope that I have found a group that can help me understand myself better.

[akaMichael]

Hi all.. my name is michelle. My username is akaMichael, as I suffer not only from bi polar and ptsd, but w borderline personality disorder also. The few friends I've had and my husband have lovingly named my alter ego Michael, as my flip side is quite the oppisite of my normal loving michelle that I am. I've suffered w these ailments forever it seems, age 11 it all began. I'm still struggling to grasp a life of day to day normalcy.
I am married for the second time and 34 yrs old. I have two step sons my hubby has full primary custody of. Being a step parent is the most challenging thing I've ever faced. And that sayin alot considering all I've been thru, including doing almost 7 yrs straight in prison. My step sons birth mom has chosen to have no contact w them. And I have daily issues dealing w the resentment my oldest stepson harbors for women. My hubby and I just started therapy w the oldest n were trying to mend our marraige s we have been thru seperation, addictions and some abuse as well. My parents r both deseased and I've got 1 sister with whom I've got no contact. She doesn't want me in her kids life due to my mental health status. Fortunately I've got a wonderful friend in my husband. He used to be a cop. And even with all my baggage he super supportive in my recovery. I'm. Very excited to have found this forum.

[tryingmybest]

Hi Everyone,

I'm the lucky Mom of 4 great kids- three sons ages 16, 13, and 12 and an 8 year old daughter. I grew up in an alcoholic family where emotional and verbal abuse was a daily must. I received some physical abuse as well. I had my first depressed episode around 11. I remember sleeping constantly and just wanting to sleep forever. I have always had anger issues I have blamed on my childhood.

A few years ago I wanted to go back to school and went to an ADHD center to see if that was part of why I have struggled forever holding a good job (boredom KILLS ME) and forgetting/procrastination is crippling at times. I ran a family childcare for 12 years until deciding to pursue other interests. The stress of childcare was too much for me. The center diagnosed me with inattentive type having 6 of the 9 markers. Depression as well but I already new that. Anxiety has been a huge issue was well and I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder years ago.

I took Paxil cr for years when my sons were small as I was in a very bad marriage and it kept me functional, but I felt shut off. 6 years ago I lost my only sibling to an accidental drug overdose, and my father to cancer 4 months later. My grandmother died 7 months after that and my Moms boyfriend of 8 years died a year later. Fast forward another year and my cousin hung himself in my Moms barn- I was on the phone with her when she found him. I have had a really hard time dealing with everything while trying to raise 4 kids.

A year after my brother passed I left their father, it was a toxic marriage from the beginning and I was barely functioning. I needed to know that if I survived my brothers death I would one day find happiness.

I stopped taking the Paxil that kept me alive the last 6 years and I was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life! I was FREE, I had a future..... I saw hope. I met the man of my dreams and fell in love. I lived happily ever.......... yeah well no not really.

I did fall in love, and we are engaged to be married after being together for 5 years. The problem, is I am depressed. I dont mean I get depressed for the day but I am cant get out of bed and function for days depressed. I do, because I have kids and I have no choice. I also get VERY angry and will go from depressed to flying off the handle angry because I am so frustrated I am struggling so much. My fiance works for his father and has it made. I work but have to take time off constantly due to the kids. Either appts, school vacations or snow days etc. I am at the mercy of others and I can't figure out how to handle everything anymore. I have ruined many many relationships over the years due to my anger. I have always blamed it on my childhood, or the fact my ex does nothing to help. I blame my adhd. I hate it, I hate not feeling like everyone else. I hate knowing I am broken in some way because it doesnt matter whats happening in my life really, I went on vacation to Florida recently and was near fetal all week. I ahve moments when I am capable of juggling a million things and I do it very well. I have scammed everyone around me thinking I am incredible. I am very very good at playing the game when I choose too. I can convince people of anything I want. Its incredible too me. But in the end I cant keep everything going, I get worn out and I crash. I have always wanted to change the world for the better, but now I just want to change me to be like everyone else.

I had a breakdown a few weeks ago, it started months ago when i found my fiance was texting and claling a lady he works with what I felt was "excessive". I became incredibly paranoid and convinced he was cheating on me. I started watching our phone bill to see when he talked to her. I blew up at him and he said it was all work related. I refused to believe him but finally let it drop. I noticed she started again last month and I lost it. I was struggling to help my ADHD son with his mountain of school work, my other son who has issues at school with bullying and depression and my oldest who uses drugs.

I snapped, I feel like a complete failure at everything. I wanted to die and I told him that and my mother. Mind you I have said this before but apparently I must have had a different tone because they freaked. I talked them down and called my therapist I hadnt seen in months.

While seeing her I asked if it was normal to get that angry, she said yes its a good sign I am getting in touch with my feelings seeing I never had, but she said she felt knowing my history that I may very well have bipolar disorder. I froze......... because that seems like an entirely different thing than my other labels. I came home and told my Mom and she said yes her boyfriend who was 9 credits short from his masters in psych and saw me that day I lost it felt that was what was going on as well.

SO..... I started reading about it and the more I read the more terrified and depressed I get. Yes I have a huge history of depressive episodes. I have zero I am so happy it hurts and feel like I am invincible, but I have a horrendous history with money and buying ridiculous amounts of things I love when I know I cant afford it. I buy the kids stuff even though I shouldn't at times but I blame that on my childhood and growing up poor and not wanting them to feel left out like I always did. I started taking my Zoloft again last week after the breakdown, because they were freaking out. I HATE it, it makes me feel like a zombie. I have no emotions except depression. I have zero motivation even though I take adderall daily for the adhd ( which btw was LIFE changing at first) Now the adderall doesnt seem to help as much.

So, I ask all of you brilliant people....... do you think I have bipolar even though I don't have the happy I love myself and life manic/ But the irritability/anger manic? And if so why CANT half of my time at least be happy? I am so angry I may actually be really really this sick and delusional that I have lived 40 years blind to how bad I really am. I am terrified of destroying my kids, because I think I am half of their issues already. I am angry I have on paper a beautiful life but my brain refuses to accept that and be grateful, because I really want to be happy. I want to feel happy. I would do anything to wake up and feel optimistic and thrilled to start a new day. I wake up every day alive. Thats about it.

Thanks, I am sorry this is so dreadfully long. Its a lot to get out.

Adderall XR 40mg, adderall 10mg, zoloft 50mg,

PS: I have been reading about bipolar meds- frankly it terrifies me more than the disorder.

[ajmich]

I'm Alex, have some type of Bipolar II mostly with major depression which is the current state. Lucky to have finally found a great counselor who I'm seeing weekly. Was doing well last fall then stupidly quit smoking the first of this year and had what seems to be a classic relapse into depression. Learned after the fact that I might have avoided this by taking wellbutrin/ zyban/ bupropion for 10 days BEFORE quitting the cigs. Sadly my pdoc slipped up on this, and then when he did give the Bupropion Rx, he gave the wrong dose! Took too little (150mg) for an entire month before learning from my MD that the target dose is 300. Learned a hard lesson, must research meds myself since one cannot trust a pdoc to be on the ball. I want to get the jerk fired. Anyway, I'm all over the map now that I'm about 2 weeks into the correct dose. Sleep all I can, to find some peace, and glad I'm able to sleep. OK well obviously a little hyper but the moods are over the map from hour to hour. Gonna peruse the posts here and at least feel there are kindred spirits about. Peace...

[ChattyCathyMemories]

Hi, I'm not Bipolar but my husband of 12 years is Bipolar 2. He has been abusing alcohol since retiring 13mths ago ad as he was well respected in the field of medicine (his profession) he won't seek help. I confided in my own Doc recently but he is moving on soon and I need support as I also have a medical complaint which has been ongoing for 3 yr and I require fairly regular hospital trips. However, after having M.E for 12 years and conquering it 20 years ago it is back due to the stress of living with my husband. I do know what Bipolars go through but their families also need support. Hope I can be of some help on here.

[ChattyCathyMemories]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and nt very good with computers. thought I'd posted a reply but it's disappeared?
My husband is Bipolar 2 and we've been together for 12 years (married for 5).
He retired 13mths ago ad since then alcohol doesn't mix well with his Meds since he's gotten older and a little causes him to become verbally abusive and sleep for hours.
I try to hide this from the world but it's becoming increasingly difficult as I have medical issues requiring hospital treatment and test and the stress of my husband has brought back ME which I managed to overcome 20yrs ago.
I need a support system but he has never told anyone aprt from our respective grown up children of whom none live near enough to offer support. they also don't know of the extent of his recent problems.
As his profession was in the medical world he won't get help but does take his meds regularly. It's just his abuse f alcohol that he/I can't cope ith anymore!

[ajmich]

Welcome everyone and if you don't realize it already, you are in a good, safe place. Help abounds and people are open, willing to share experiences and advice.

ChattyCathy, bummer you're having this issue with your husband. Indeed you have enough to deal with your own health without the added stress of his alcohol abuse, and you're right, head meds and alcohol do NOT mix well at all. With a medical background, likely he knows that but since he drinks anyway, he might need AA. But that's his issue.

You can find help here and I hope you do, but in your situation it sure sounds like you need Al-Anon. They help those who love an alcoholic; they are well-established and unless you're in an unpopulated area, it's likely they have meetings nearby. Check it out. So many are dealing with similar situations and can help you bring the focus back to your own issues, besides helping you understand why you are not getting the support you need from him. Whatever you may decide, help is available and you only need to follow-thru, keep chin above the water line, and all that! Have lived the effects of alcoholic loved ones myself and have always been too sick to actually do anything about it. Don't let that happen with you, okay? You're worth it, don't listen to his abuse and be glad when he sleeps! Seriously, keep your posts coming and check out Al-Anon. Peace. Alex.

[IWillDare]

Hi!

Where to begin? I'm a 43 year-old guy with bipolar. I have been on a pretty solid schedule of taking my meds and not drinking. I used to drink a ton, and I was pretty entertaining at it. Problem was no one was around when it was 6 in the morning and all the drinking and bipolar made me suicidal. But I finally got tired in 2001 and quit drinking and got my **** together.

As for my life, I'm married with a 7 year-old son. I was always afraid to be a father, but it's been great so far. My son is really cool to be around. My wife has stuck with me through some difficult times as well, and I love her for it.

However...

Me being who I am, I've ceded a lot of responsibility to her, especially when it comes to setting and sticking to a budget, etc., you know things bipolars are notoriously terrible at. I think, however, she's felt that this means she's the one in charge. She talks to me like I'm stupid most of the time, usually about stuff that normal people wouldn't even think to do that. And it's worked, because I feel stupid. I cry a lot. I'm bummed out most of the time the last few years. I brought it up to her once and she replied...by talking to me like I was stupid. She's a yeller, and I grew up in a house with yellers, and they depress me as much now as they did then. And now, my son talks to me like I'm stupid and doesn't listen to me. He'll usually ask me, I'll say no, he'll go to my wife and she'll say yes. If I were in a better place health wise, I probably would leave tomorrow, but if I left, I'm afraid of what would happen, how she would turn my son against me, how alone I'd be, etc. So that's my biggest issue now.

Besides that, I'm a musician, and I draw a lot of comfort from that. I've maintained a good sense of humor. And I've got awesome stories from when I was self-medicating. I know we're supposed to act like it was all horrible, and the end result was horrible, but still, I've lived some stuff no one else can say they have.

Besides that, not much else. Back to lurking until I feel the urge to post!

[tew1063]

My name is Tammy and thank you for having this thread. I've been Bipolar for a lot longer then it was diagnosed, as all of us probably realize.

I'm type 2 bp and I do battle depression in a great way. I'm taking Cymbalta and Abilify as a mood stabilizer. The combination works well for me. My doctor was going to put me on Lithium but I flat out refused to take it. My body chemistry does not agree with it. My sister took that medicine and she was like a zombie. When she got off the Lithium, I had my sister back. So there was no way I was going to let that happen to me.

Anyway, thank you for letting me join the thread. I look forward to meeting all of you. I'll try to join the chats when I get approved to be able to.
Have a blessed day.

Tammy

Originally Posted by Merlin

Welcome to our forum! Come in and introduce yourself to other members!! This thread is place for new members to get the attention and feedback of the older members, or older members to give more information about themselves. They can discuss diagnosis, treatment or another other topic of their disorder and older members will respond.

I created this introduction thread due to the number of introductions posted on the "Bipolar Chat" sticky. The Bipolar Chat that I lead is now scheduled on Fridays at 9 PM EST. It will cover a variety of topics which will be posted in the chat announcement and outlines will also be posted for those unable to make the chats. The first Friday of the month Wingin'it will lead an open Bipolar Chat. Those will Bipolar are also invited to the Depression Chat on Wednesday at 9 PM EST, but there will be significant overlap in topic.

[smiles4you]

can a person survive not taking meds i have not been on meds now for like 4 yrs but for me Im so lost in my mind that I dont know if I can get out of this maze in my head im affecting everyone around me Im so isolated and so socially paranoid the stress to just go out my front door is so intense please if anyone has advise how to get some kind of control i would really benefit from it about 4 yrs ago they had me on and off about fifteen differant meds i dont wanna do that any more I need help and dont know where to reach out because people are so skidish around the mentally disabled its so lonely being me

[bearunmuzzled]

Well smiles4you this is probably a topic best discussed in another thread but I don't want to leave you hanging. You seem to have had a diagnosis longer than I have but my advice is to see a different doctor (if that resource is available to you) and talk about what your options might be given your negative experiences with meds before. It sounds like not being on meds at all is not working but there may be some other options to explore, or some middle ground to find. Best of luck to you

Anyway--back on topic. I'm bipolar II and had been searching for the right meds to control my anxiety disorder and my depression for about two years until a severe depressive episode landed me in the hospital (voluntarily) for suicidal ideation/thoughts of self injury a year ago. They diagnosed me and put me on lithium right away, and I've been searching for the right balance of meds ever since.

I'm currently on a cocktail of several different mood stabilizers plus a couple others: Lithium, Lamictal, Neurontin, Inderal (anxiety), and Lunesta (sleep). Seems to be working sort of well right now but I've been having memory problems and might have to change something.

[noodles89]

Hello, I'm Heather. I'm 24 and have been battling bipolar disorder for several years. Still trying to find the right meds, but hopefully Lithium will do the trick. I also have PTSD and a history of anorexia. I'm here because I'm lonely and need to give and receive support. I'm currently a graduate student in clinical psychology in Pennsylvania (originally from Missouri). I haven't been doing so well in the depression department, but hopefully the manias are under control now. Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading!

[inretrograde]

I'm not comfortable sharing my name given that I am a social worker, but hi I'm 32 and I'm nuts. ! I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder when I was 13 but it wasn't taken seriously in my home. I lost my virginity from a stranger rape when I was 17 and did not seek help or receive my PTSD diagnosis until my late 20s. I functioned well enough to graduate with high honors for a B.S. in Psychology. I'm working towards getting stable so I can apply to graduate school and make it through without losing my mind.

I'm very frustrated with the reactions of people in my life to my disorder, who don't have a clue what I struggle with or why I seem to be a different person all the time. I've gotten to a point where I no longer tell people and hide when I'm having symptoms by making excuses for not being able to hang out. Dating is damn near impossible and my 4th relationship is now falling apart, which is why I usually avoid them. I thought this one was different, but he turned about to be just as uncaring and incapable of seeing the world through my eyes. Now my whole life is being uprooted and the uncertainty has me stressed beyond belief.