[gary290]

Hi Everyone!

I see a lot of new members posting here over the past couple of weeks. Welcome! We have a daily check in at http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...ck-thread.html. Members post about their day and check in with other members. It's a great support system.

Gary

[Just Jenny]

I'm Jenny and I can relate to a lot of the postings here. I've been battling with the following: Bipolar II, PTSD, OCD and Panic Disorder. I've been hospitalized four times of which three have been in the past five years.

For me, almost everything is an effort. If I stay at home and try to isolate myself from too much outside stimulation, I somehow set myself up for back-to-back projects that (at least in my mind) will help me bring order to my life.

If I try to socialize, I feel like I'm the only person in the room even if there are 20 people in the room. I'm not patient, I get overwhelmed, I'm often frustrated and although I really try to make it otherwise, I'm bitter. But honestly, if you put 20 people in the room with you, 19 would say "she really has it together" and what they really don't know is I'm exhausted 99% of the time just trying to keep up with life.

My goal in life (which feels impossible) is to simply feel like I fit in somewhere - anywhere.

[CApride83]

Originally Posted by Merlin

My name is Laura and I live in western Canada. I have type II bipolar and post traumatic stress disorder. I am currently stable due to effective medication and am devoting the efforts I used towards getting well towards helping others get well too. I am a community rehabilitation worker and am taking a bachelors in social work focusing on mental illness.

Hello I was wondering if u could help me navigate around this community, so that I can get the directed help im seeking? your introduction sounds much like myne so hoped you could help. thank you!

[Fingersmith]

Hi,
I'm a 25-year-old female from outside the US. English is not my mother tongue, so you might encounter some grammatical errors or oddities in my writing from time to time.

About 4 years ago I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Later it turned out to be type II bipolar disorder with sporadic psychotic breaks. I've been hospitalized a total of 5 times in the last 4 years. At first I was on risperidone, but I just couldn't continue with it. I felt emotionless, I couldn't make a decent conversation, I couldn't think. I was half dead, half alive. Plus, it didn't really help with depressive episodes. Right now I'm on fluvoxamine (antidepressant) and lamotrigine (mood stabilizer). The problem is ever since changing the treatment I've gone from rapid to ultra-rapid cycling. What's worse I'm drug resistant and inclined to mixed episodes. Of course, I've tried all kinds of meds - they made me feel even worse. What can I say, my life is in pieces. I'm struggling everyday. I dropped out from university twice, I can't seem to be able to create a stable relationship. I lost one about a week ago, actually. Since I'm 25 and haven't really achieved much, I feel like a failure. I feel like a failure as a potential partner, I feel like a failure as an actual partner. There seems to be no way out of it. I'm in therapy, but even my therapist can't keep up with my frequent mood changes and doctors are a bit helpless in the face of my drug resistance. They've run out of ideas. Don't get me wrong - I'm not giving up. Not ever. Still, my disorder cost me my education and, most of all, my relationships.
However, I'm applying to my old university again this year, although I feel a little insecure about it.

I think the reason I decided to post my story is because I need a little reassurance from people who understand.

[mistifyeight]

Hi, I have been struggling with bipolar I. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago and am having a really hard time. I have tried different meds and have only come close to being somewhat stable. the last 2 years i once again got my life together and things where better then they had been years. Unfortunately it didn't last, I did what i always do, I completely ripped my life to shreds. I lost my mom to cancer, a wonderful job, a great apartment, my vehicle a few good friends and now my boyfriend of almost 3 years. My ex loves me but can't handle my ups and downs and he can't handle the stress and worry anymore. I am taking his advise and trying to get help in other ways a long with my current meds. I have been spiraling out of control for months now and am trying to stop be fore i free fall to the point of no return. I am new to using forums so please if anyone has suggestions or can direct me on how to best use or share using the forum i would greatly appreciate it. I want to stop suffering from bipolar disorder and depression and learn to live and be happy. One thing i have started is keeping a journal and i also have a FaceBook page with daily posts of how i am feeling, what it is like to be bipolar and how it is or has affected me, my life, relationships and those around me. To me these are very little steps in the right direction and i am looking for help.

[A Red Panda]

Heya to the new members, from another pretty new member! (look at my post count... haha.. might be new but clearly I'm pretty dang wordy!)

I'd recommend reading as many posts as you can - just find the subforums that seem useful and then read through the current threads. I found that the more I read, the less alone I felt - especially in the bipolar one! I've only JUST started going about with getting diagnosed.. so while reading a lot of the threads I've just gone "Oh wow... that's not criteria for BP but holy crumb a lot of people go through the same things I do!!!" and it has so far put almost all of the "weird" things about me into the category of "a lot of other people with bipolar have this too so it can't be THAT weird!"

I hope that you'll find a lot of the threads like that for you too!

[radioactive1]

I was diagnosed with BP nearly 35 years ago. Since then it has been a battle to get my life together with the right treatment. I have gone through numerous jobs and a marriage. I finally seem to have the right medicine combination going now although I have felt myself slipping lately. I started in an excellent job about a year ago and I plan to retire from it.

When I am not working or doing things with my family, I have fun as a semi-professional musician and I am also an avid photographer.

I look forward to interacting with people who understand what I deal with every day.

[polesapart]

Hi. Just thought I would introduce myself. I'm a 30 something psychologist. I had my first depression at 15, but spent the next 15 years denying anything was wrong. Enjoying the highs, and suffering through the lows. Two years ago I finally sought help, although it took a suicide attempt for the drs to realise how badly I was doing. I'm currently mostly stable. It's been a whole year since I was last depressed, which is the longest depression free period since I was 15!

[ilanagrey]

Hi. I'm new here. Been diagnosed with bipolar for about 10 years. Still trying to manage it. Going through a bad spot right now and I'm on short term disability. My sister found this place for me and I have been reading and find it so helpful to see people who are going through what I am.

[cherry1435]

I have been treated for 22 years for MDD and recently visited my psych doc because I had so many things flying through my mind, no concentration, etc. Suddenly it was like I saw a lightbulb go off in his head and he said no wonder you have had such a poor outcome with all the meds we have tried, asked a bunch more questions and was convinced I have a "mood disorder" as he called it during that visit. He started me on Lithium 300 2Xday mid May and continued taking 2 mg Xanax like I have for years to sleep. Immediately felt better for 2 weeks but then sank into one of worst depressions in years. Made apt when my family said I had started interrupting, not listening, rambling from one thing to another, etc. yet I am at one of my all time lows and NEVER feel hyper, excited, etc.?? He increased the lithium to 300 X 3 and added Lamictal (lamotrogene) 50 mg daily. Started this last Friday and am still the same...do nothing all day except lay around waiting on my next dose hoping that will be the one that gets me up and moving around. Anyone else experienced this and how did you cope or did you have to change meds? Thanks for any help with insight into bipolar and or the meds I am on. Not looking for a diagnosis or anything....just some real live people's experiences. I know all meds affect everyone differently but just wanting to know how you felt before versus after if you are now doing well with this diagnosis.

[Skittles56]

Hi. I was diagnosed about a year and a half ago. I doubted the diagnosis at first, mostly because I had never suffered through any deep depressions. In fact, I had never considered myself to be depressed at all. However, my wife tells a different story. In any case, I have had all of the classic symptoms of mania: grandiosity and arrogance, uncontrollable outbursts of temper, inappropriate sexual behavior. Since going on my medications, I have experienced some of the deepest darkest depressions I can ever remember. One wonders.

I have cycled through a lot of meds. I am currently taking 400 mg of Lamictal and 300 mg of Seroquel XR. I was taking Depakote, but quit due to hand tremors. I moved to Tegretol, but quit due to dizziness. I then moved to Saphris, which is the most evil medication anyone ever invented.

I'm looking forward to participating in this forum in hopes of getting some answers.

[MOHANAKRISHNAN]

Originally Posted by heather_82

hi my name is heather. i am 28 years old living with bipolar. i need alot of advices. i have been going to groups im on meds that havebeen working really good now we found out one is trocts to my body. im going down on that pill and very worried beause i have come along ways but i am having trouble with my bf and what i doing to him.

It is a matter of fact that onset of the illness certain emotional abnormality is existed but effective medication everything is possible to continue a fruitful relationship with your friend. Wish you all the best.

[mamawifeandmanic]

Hey I am Ginger, I'm 26 and been bipolar one since 10. I had a rough childhood so could explain some of my issues but have been doing alright up until 2009, when my dad died. I Have been trying desperately to find help ever since and in 2012 had an MRI which started a whirlwind of medical drama. Mental health declined during this last year but have no energy or time then no money for help. The county only steps in if you're suicidal but my mom tried to kill herself in frobtif me at nine so I don't get suicidal, I'm terrified of I go to hospital they wont let me out

[rolybipoly]

Hi, I'm new here I am 36, married, and have 4 young children ranging from 17 months to 7 years old, my oldest with autism and psychosis. I had been dx with depression and anxiety after the birth of my oldest child, but depression never seemed to fit me. I realized on my own that I have bipolar less than 2 years ago and my psychologist and psychiatrist agreed. I found out I was pregnant with my youngest 1 week before I was to start a mood stabilizer for the first time. I ended up feeling awful in a mixed state almost the entire pregnancy, but started Lamictal after nursing. I gained weight from it, so I've been on the search for a good med ever since...just tried lithium and I gained 8 lbs in less than 2 weeks My hypomania/mania is usually hypersexuality or wanting to go out and party, not something I can easily do as a married mom of 4 children.

[otroo]

I am new to the forum I was diagnosed with being bipolar over twenty years ago and went on medications that were prescribed to me well I felt I was fine and went off of my medications because I thought that was the best thing for myself. Let's fast forward after self medicating for all those years things started to fall apart around me and I started having major episodes of depression and manic episodes it got to the point that my wife was going to leave me. I was sitting in my house one night alone because my wife had left me cause I had destroyed my home in a rage moment. I went to the ER that night cause I was feeling suicidal the next thing I knew I spent three weeks in a hospital to get back on medications that I will never quit taking. I found this site cause I do have a hard time relating with people in a face to face situation do to my career as a truck driver being isolated and am hoping I can find a kind of support group here if I needed it I am also a very good listener and I hope I can help people out if I can. Well thanks for looking at this.

Sent from my Xoom using Tapatalk 2

[BrianaD94]

My name is Bri, and I'm 19 years old. Over a course of 14 months (Christmas Eve '06 to Valentine's Day '08), I lost my grandfather, my grandmother, and my mother. I have depression, bipolar disorder, and alcohol problems. I recently lost my boyfriend and my job, and I don't have many friends or anywhere else to turn. I've come to this forum (and have tried going to a couple others) because I know I need help for of the way I'm feeling. The last time I felt like this, I nearly killed myself and wound up in a hospital. I need help now, but I'm not actively suicidal anymore, so I'm afraid that it's not enough of a crisis to call a hotline.

[wanderingmendicant]

My name is Daniel and I'm 29. I was adopted from Korea and grew up in Eastern Pennsylvania. I spend about 8-9 months of the year working in Dubai and the other months traveling around the world.

I was diagnosed as Bipolar (II) as a late teenager. The diagnosis came late, because I was mostly viewed as high-achieving... lots of degrees, Ivy League schools, music prodigy, etc. But I had a suicide attempt shortly after meeting my Korean birth mother and a break-up with my girlfriend.

Nearly a decade later, I've managed to self-cope with most bipolar issues. I'm self-employed and don't have severe manic episodes. Being self-employed helps me deal with the depressive episodes, since I can cut back on work. Medication was always awful for me and I'm no longer suicidal and can function in society, so I'd rather use alternative forms of 'medicine'.

Lately, though, I've had another break-up, and realized that a lot of it had to do with bipolar tendencies (overreacting, triggers, mood swings, etc.). I just wore her out. So I want to become more active about recognizing and dealing with my BP issues and hopefully not get to that point in a relationship again.

Thanks,

- Daniel

[Irishbipolar]

Hi! I'm new to Psych Central. I've a particular interest in Bipolar Disorder. I've been diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder for the last eighteen months and am on a "bucket-fulll" of medications. It's a roller-coaster and has been for many years, but having a diagnosis is of some help in that I can now read of other people who share some of my experiences and of others who experience life in a very different way. I'm a psychotherapist, so often meet with people who are also on the roller-coaster. I don't tell any of my clients that I have some personal insight into what life can be like when dealing with the challenges of the disorder, not because I'm secretive or ashamed in any way, but so that the attention does not end up focussed on me but remains on the client who is looking for support. I look forward to learning more from all those who contribute to this forum.

[mikayla04]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Welcome to our forum! Come in and introduce yourself to other members!! This thread is place for new members to get the attention and feedback of the older members, or older members to give more information about themselves. They can discuss diagnosis, treatment or another other topic of their disorder and older members will respond.

I created this introduction thread due to the number of introductions posted on the "Bipolar Chat" sticky. The Bipolar Chat that I lead is now scheduled on Fridays at 9 PM EST. It will cover a variety of topics which will be posted in the chat announcement and outlines will also be posted for those unable to make the chats. The first Friday of the month Wingin'it will lead an open Bipolar Chat. Those will Bipolar are also invited to the Depression Chat on Wednesday at 9 PM EST, but there will be significant overlap in topic.

Hi, I don't have bipolar but my spouse does. It has been almost 4 years since he was diagnosed. It was the worst thing that we have been thru in our 28 years of marriage. My husband went from being a loving man to a teenager right in front of me. I have to lead him to do everything. He doesn't know his t5riggers and it has went from bad to worse with each maniac attack he seems to get more violent. Whenever he has an attack he says he is a prophet and I am satan . The last one he said that he had to divorce because I didn't do what he said. I started getting depressed last year with my situation and I admitted myself to a mental health facility. I was diagnosed with depression. I am trying to fight my depression and deal with his disease too. Nobody understands what I am going through they say I worry to much but my husband sleeps all day and he wont even take care of his basic needs. I have been through so much and I am just too tired that I really feel like this may be the end of our marriage. My kids are all grown but they feel like I should just take of him and not complain at all. bUT I am at my wits end and I don't know how much more I can take. Just need someone to listen my family and friends think that I am over reacting but you don't unless its happening to you.

[nikkixbee]

hello all, i'm nikki, age 30 and mother of a 2 year old son. i have many diagnoses and have just recently (within the past 2 months) been diagnosed with bipolar 2. i'm still trying to figure out what this means for me. i have not been stable enough to work since december and whenever i think about working again i have panic attacks. i have applied for disability but i know most people are denied, at least the first time, which is discouraging.

anyway, my biggest problems are anxiety and panic attacks. is that something you have to wait to level out or are there other things the doctor can do? i plan to ask him next time i see him in 2 weeks.

anyway, that's me. glad to have found you all.

[swim_n_vaseline]

Hello everyone. My name and is Gretchen and I am from Northwest Indiana. I am 38, diagnosed Bipolar 1 twelve years ago. Right now I am stable on minimal meds but we all know that could change. I just try to stay ever vigilant.

[MOHANAKRISHNAN]

Originally Posted by Merlin

My name is Laura and I live in western Canada. I have type II bipolar and post traumatic stress disorder. I am currently stable due to effective medication and am devoting the efforts I used towards getting well towards helping others get well too. I am a community rehabilitation worker and am taking a bachelors in social work focusing on mental illness.

Wish you all the best Merlin..God bless you..

[MOHANAKRISHNAN]

Originally Posted by mikayla04

Hi, I don't have bipolar but my spouse does. It has been almost 4 years since he was diagnosed. It was the worst thing that we have been thru in our 28 years of marriage. My husband went from being a loving man to a teenager right in front of me. I have to lead him to do everything. He doesn't know his t5riggers and it has went from bad to worse with each maniac attack he seems to get more violent. Whenever he has an attack he says he is a prophet and I am satan . The last one he said that he had to divorce because I didn't do what he said. I started getting depressed last year with my situation and I admitted myself to a mental health facility. I was diagnosed with depression. I am trying to fight my depression and deal with his disease too. Nobody understands what I am going through they say I worry to much but my husband sleeps all day and he wont even take care of his basic needs. I have been through so much and I am just too tired that I really feel like this may be the end of our marriage. My kids are all grown but they feel like I should just take of him and not complain at all. bUT I am at my wits end and I don't know how much more I can take. Just need someone to listen my family and friends think that I am over reacting but you don't unless its happening to you.

Dear Mik

I appreciate your lovable efforts to keep your better half with you with Bipolar. It is a short term problem and he will back to your a lap as a great husband..dont worry. All the best!!

[laurawwrites]

hi,
I'm new here. This is the first forum I've ever been on. I'm a 31 year old wife, mom of three, and freelance writer from Austin, Tx. I also have bipolar 1 with psychosis.I was diagnosed three years ago and am still wrapping my head around it. The last few months I have been stable finally, after seven hospitalizations. I'm on a heavy dose of medications to get here, with all the weight that goes along with that.I'm stable but i feel flat and boring. writing is difficult. I have no motivation. I think talking to like-minded people will help inspire me and start caring again. so i look forward to meeting some of you

[superstenoman]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Welcome to our forum! Come in and introduce yourself to other members!! This thread is place for new members to get the attention and feedback of the older members, or older members to give more information about themselves. They can discuss diagnosis, treatment or another other topic of their disorder and older members will respond.

I created this introduction thread due to the number of introductions posted on the "Bipolar Chat" sticky. The Bipolar Chat that I lead is now scheduled on Fridays at 9 PM EST. It will cover a variety of topics which will be posted in the chat announcement and outlines will also be posted for those unable to make the chats. The first Friday of the month Wingin'it will lead an open Bipolar Chat. Those will Bipolar are also invited to the Depression Chat on Wednesday at 9 PM EST, but there will be significant overlap in topic.

================================================
I hope I am doing this correctly so you will actually see this reply. It is good to know about the specific chat(s) days and times. Thank you for posting that. Two things, however. The first is when I actually complete the five postings rule, how would I get into the chat room(s)? Yes, I'm about as technically advanced as someone who has difficulty plugging a toaster into a wall socket, so the more step-by-step instructions, the better. The second is although you say that people with clinical depression might be interested in your Bipolar chat, I was wondering where I can go to chat with others who have a dual diagnosis of Bipolar II AND BPD? Thanks again.