[feferock]

Today is pretty good. So far. It's my day to clean my dad and step moms house. Right now I'm watching grown ups and cuddling my oreo

Fefe(28) -bipolar II
Hubby(28)
Son(8)-aspergers and possibly ADHD and odd
Daughter(5)

[x_BabyG_x]

Angry, annoyed, short tempered, irritable. Full of a cold... Looking after myself watching Disney's Brave

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[charo224488]

Originally Posted by Roblovescats

Planted our kitten in the Earth and covered her with sun flower seeds ... Rest little squiggles we love you...

Sent from the dark side of the moon

So sorry about your kitty- it's so hard to lose them. Mine are so much members of my family. I've been more devistated losing a cat or dog than a person at times. They are so innocent, like children. I'm sure their little spirits live on and they are still with us and visit us, so know that you have not lost your squiggles. My beloved cat Zoey passed 4 years ago and I still feel her presence around me so much. Big hug to you and your family.

[charo224488]

Increased my new antidepressant back up to the dose I was prescribed- I could barely function on the smaller dose and was in a constant state of panic. Now I'm teetering on the brink of mania. I know this because I feel like I am in a cartoon, and I am watching everything but not participating. Everyone's feet look way too big, cars seem to float by, and I suddenly think I can sing. This is ok, I know it is depersonalization, but then it morphs to quickly into extreme agitation and I just have to get away and be alone. I lose track of time so easily. I drive to work and look down to see I am going 90 mph but it feels so slow. I can't reach a balance. I don't know if I want to be balanced, though. Every minute is different- it's exilarating and terrifying at the same time.

Feeling down today. There's a glitch with the job I thought was going to start Monday. The guy I interviewed with no longer works there, so I have to start the interview process all over again. Just bummed out at this continued unemployment and feelings of boredom/uselessness

[Phoenix_1]

Still down. My pdoc increased my lamictal yesterday. Now I have the usual headache and nausea from the increase but I'm hoping my depression will lift soon.

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[TheJettSet27]

Coming down from a hypomanic episode. Other than that, nothing exciting.

[FaithlessCat]

Originally Posted by x_BabyG_x

Angry, annoyed, short tempered, irritable. Full of a cold... Looking after myself watching Disney's Brave

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Aww you ought to invest in a Hamish teddy ( Com the movie ) . They give the best hugs ever !
I love him cos he's differenT with being black and his big blue eyes. I take him everywhere. When I was admitted to hospital for emergency surgery I hat him in my arms the whole time. I'm sure all the other women on the ward thought I was strange.a woman of my age giving a teddy ... Lol

[Curiosity77]

Today was a pretty good day. I'm starting to feel quite a bit better in the past couple of days, maybe coming out of depression, hopefully. I'm trying to motivate myself to go do some yoga tonight, but will have to see if I actually go. I've been so inactive lately with depression, it's hard to get back into physical activity, but I know it's good for me. It's nice to start to care about what's good for me again.

I've been feeling a bit defensive and lacking confidence at work because of some difficult situations this week. Some coworkers have also really been irritating me. I'm trying to relax so I can keep getting along with everyone, but I wish things didn't bother me so much.

[Roblovescats]

It was good to get back to work today. I feel very fortunate to not just have a job but one that I love. I had to laugh today because a student who isn't my student came to me at lunch to ask if I would be coming in this weekend to tutor. I wasn't planning to but I guess I will now. It is good to feel needed.

Sent from the dark side of the moon

[Cocosurviving]

My day started off not good. My oldest daughter is giving me hell. I got her to school and enjoyed the day with a good friend. I then I got my daughter to a friend's house. And I went home to cry then I was able to de-stress

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I feel completely out of it but overwhelmed at the same time. Im very confused very easily, I worry I am a danger to myself but I dont know why, Im just obsessed with wanting to SH. But there is no real reason for it, just I guess I just want to do it through desperation. I cant think straight, my thoughts trail off midway through, I get distracted and want to ground myself through pain. My appetite has come back though, but Im not happy about that cos I cant afford food, nor petrol to get to the shops, nor can I walk for long periods of time. I did an hour of weeding this morning and now I am completely wiped out. My friends are trying to be supportive but I cant hold a conversation, Im flat and retarded so Im embarrassed to see them, but I dont want to keep rejecting offers of socialising so I dont get isolated. Im so confused.

I signed up for the Community Greenhouse for the spring and ordered my seeds. Yay! Just 2 more months.

Went to the SPCA and spent time with all the kitties that are up for adoption. Free pet therapy. Yay!

I've been blah for a few days, but things are looking up. Just... Yay!

[Lobster Hands]

I'm totally elated! I've been awake for three days now. I'm lost because I'm not on any medication anymore. I haven't gone to my doctor for two months. I definitely should but I just can't for some reason. I played golf first year in college so I'm big into that...so I designed a whole new golf course yesterday! I thought about getting a job at a guitar store so I started to study guitars and such...I'm going nuts right now and I love it and am afraid at the same time.

[Blue_Bird]

Finally found the right med combo it seems . Hoping this lasts

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still feeling depressed. I'm not liking it one bit

[x_BabyG_x]

Angry and irritable. I'm sure it's national piss megan off week. Everyone seems to be going out of their way to wind me up! Trying to stay out of other peoples ******** and they keep reeling me in! Gimme the simple life please, stop hurting me because I DO NOT want this anxiety in my life anymore. I'm going to end up just not caring for anyone.

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[Phoenix_1]

Feeling a little better. I still have a headache from the increase in lamictal. I reconnected with an old friend today. That felt good.

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[Notnrml85]

Spent the first half of the day out of the house to try and distract myself from this crazy mixed episode. Almost spent money that's supposed to be for something else, on a present for my daughter. Also saw some super cool jan sport backpacks wanted to buy one for each of my kids. 4 of 'em at $65 each would have been way more than I'm suppose to spend. Luckily I don't carry a debit card unless it's grocery day. So spending splurge avoided.

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[manymiles]

Need to say stuff, don't want to start a thread afraid no one will respond.

Husband coming home today from trip. Do not want to see his look of contempt when he looks around the house and see it's a mess. Will try to do some work before he gets home and after run kids to this and that practice.

I want to say that I accept that I am mentally ill. It hurts and makes sense. It explains a lot of things. I am a good friend and I'm not capable of the responsibilities of holding a consistent relationship that involves intimacy. I'm sad and have no place or time to let it all out.

Also I want to tell someone in the world that I have come a very long way. Isolation growing up, no neighbors, very very little company over. The "dizzy" one in a group of over achievers. Just checked out more than in, oh well. Then there is the depression, depression, depression and depression. The worst was when everything hurt. There was NO reprieve from the pain. There was no piece on earth. Literally it was like I imagine being on fire would be, it was pain always. Found relief from meds. Very thankful for my Dad, he saw me. Gosh I miss him now and need him more than ever. He'd know he'd get it. He'd know it because of his training as well as by paying attention to me, seeing me

It hurts, I hurt. No one to talk to about this. Been a bit and still haven't shared it. NO one would get it. Nope don't want pity, don't want advice, don't want to hear about xyz their challenge with bipolar so I need to do what they did.

That's the story wanting closeness and not being able to manage it. Before it was not being able to show up, now it is just not wanting to. Not out of depression but out of this isolation that there is this huge part of my life this huge thing that I have learned about myself this year and no one would understand.

Maybe it's too much, but I have held a few people very close. Close enough to be myself and feel loved. I can't fake it if I tried, don't like superficial relationships and make no room in my life for them. If it doesn't seem like we are capable of really sharing, thinking, debating and have an open heart than I'd don't let the relationship continue.

So here with this lump in my throat and this pain in my heart I stand alone with God. But really isn't that all anyone really has. Someone said Life is a solitary journey and how true it is.

yes I have the things that would look like life is good. Folks don't know I haven't had a real kiss in over five years and yes have been married a lot longer. Beautiful kids wonderful home, great community. In the end of life and even now all that stuff is stuff. I live for my kids. Yes I know that is not healthy and it's what I've got

I am really sad today, it could be 1 million times worse. Another day in paradise and how dare I complain. Oh well

[tigersassy]

Got a new bed today. Super excited. Am so sure that I'm still mixed. My thoughts are still deppressed but I'm running a million miles an hour. I know I'm not on the right meds. I'm hoping that there is a cancellation ast the psychiatrists soon so I can get in sooner. Maybe get the right meds. I'm over this mixed episode crap.

Tig

[Roblovescats]

I feel like I need therapy but I'm hesitant to make an appointment because I don't feel a good connection with the therapist not enough to talk about anything significant and I can't afford to go shopping around... Not sure what to do. I have a lot built up inside me. It's causing me to get anxiety attacks. I feel like I need a vacation from my life. But I don't feel like I have the ability to relax. I'm very heart broken and sad right now. I feel over whelmed by life. I feel like a constant failure. I feel like nothing can make me happy. I feel like I let everyone down. I'm so tired....

Sent from the dark side of the moon

[emilyanne1333]

Tired. Had a break down last night. Screamed and cried. Just couldn't handle it all anymore. I'm just so lost. I'm waiting to go into a program and it's the only thing keeping me going right now.

[SickOfSadness]

Meh. Just want to be actually happy for more than a couple hours. Im burnt out of working where I do already. Its not easy working with Autistic individuals. I've been working 6 days/wk and feel like I never have time to do anything. I dont even have money that I can spend on myself, or to save. I never want to do anything. This winter sucks. Meh. Just meh.

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[reesecups]

I'm a bit anxious. Klonopin just doesn't cut it. I had to take half of a mg of Xanax too, just to take the edge off.