Lottery

When you crack the code, can you let me in on it?

Whether youre on to something or not, obviously you are pretty smart. What field of work are you in? Maybe there is a certification you can purse to get a promotion? That can be your short-term "lottery". Dont let the lottery prediction stuff consume you. Dont out allyour eggs in one basket. Work on improving your career, social life, family life, and can add on the lottery atuff as a hobby if you want. But it sjould not be front and center

Slept about 9hours. This is good. I am not working on it this morning or afternoon. It is already taking up brain space but I'm going to ignore and do other things. Gardening, self-care/hygiene/home. This is crazy. I won on two tickets yesterday, which is actually the first 'two' winner I've had. Not big prizes just $8 each. One of the whole premises is that you don't play for one draw. You play for 4-5. Last nights was an atypical draw. Which means I have even better odds next time using my system. At this time I don't see me stopping this challenge. At same time I can't continue it. This is either divine inspriration that I'm figuring out the frequency of, or manic behavior, or both. Regardless, more often than not, I'm calling 3+ numbers. And if I were to start getting those in a row, will get huge prizes. And then the foundation and council can be set-up. And that's the real goal. I spend less time on that but have rough drafts planned out on which and what social service agencies get part of the initial endowment. Schools, churches, etc. Recurring giving. Coordination with county/city/state on some things. These are the things I think I'm meant for. Someone asked what my profession is. I am a registered nurse. Currently in an admin position so no direct care, before anyone starts worrying I'm starting IVs while the numbers speed thru my head at 100mph! I'm not and am out of the type of role for about six months. Thanks for listening. This board is really helpful in expressing thoughts and feelings and whatever those may be, being OK to express. And I'm thankful for that.

I'm so glad you slept. And I'm glad you are taking care of you today. Don't forget to.call your doctor and discuss this with them tomorrow so that he can help you decide on a healthy course of action. I really am.glad you rested.

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Thank-you. I'm still obsessing about it, I did work on it for about 45 minutes and it's in my head in at least the background at all times. BUT I have also directed some of the energy at house-cleaning pretty intense and also did some gardening. My appetite is nill but have eaten small things four or five times. These are good things. I will still call MD office in the morning.

This makes me smile. I'm glad to hear this. I've been worried about you.

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I took extra risperdal again last night (3rd night) & slept 7.5. I feel a lot more grounded today, slower thoughts, the lottery stuff is further in background, I've been able to focus at work so far. This is the best I've felt in over a week. I do feel compelled to work on project when I get home,. But will limit it to 1 full hour. Thank you all for support. I do think I've been manic and also that there is some validity to the project. I do have some insight now that I might not have necessarily been chosen by the universe to hit jackpot & start a foundation. I do not have the mania buzz today anywhere like I had been. I did yesterday. And channeled into a very clean house. ��. I am still calling MD & trying to been seen sooner than nx appointment

Wonderful. Glad things are more in perspective for you.

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Thank-you, I appreciate your help over the weekend, it was very helpful and I made better decisions because of it. I knew something was definately wrong on Thursday, I knew but it didn't make sense with all of the thoughts I was having. Grandiosity, etc.

Had I not slept as much as I did, and had I not taken a PRN the last 3 nights (I plan to again for at least a few days), I likely would have went downhill. It also helped that I limited my time the last couple days.

I still want to work on my project but in a more structured safe way. i was literally working on it from when I came home from work until midnight, and then getting up by 630 am.

One of my main goals right now is to maintain employment. And I was fit to work today, and I did well. I was not fit Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday (I was off Fri-Sun). All of last week I did not do well, did one partial work from home day, and was basically falling apart towards the end of the week.

When my boss asks me if I'm OK, I seem a little off, I know that means I'm a lot off (she did on Thursday morning). She is a good friend and usually doesn't say anything. When I was nice and hypomanic about a couple months ago, and laughed a good part of the day, everyday, she didn't say a word. That was pre-lottery which had onset of I think 3 weeks ago now. I think there was a few weeks of fairly normal in between there. with the lottery, it burst out really intense for a week or so, I was so manic I didn't realize the extent of it. It felt so good in many ways. I thought for sure I was chosen. I had a couple experiences with what I thought were probably angels. Or a universal energy. Which I feel like there's a legit connection to when manic. I was smart enough to PRN, and I kept doing that for about a week, then reduced it, and within two days I was manic. I'm back on it since Thursday or Friday. That bothers me to know it can shift like that, and that I bear some amount of responsibility. I accept that and own it.

I'm really thankful I feel better. This is a much nicer place to be in than that other world.

As I said earlier, my kitchen is literally sparkling and that 'side effect' of the mania is kind of amazing, hah.

The rest of my work day went well, I do not have any carryover work going into tomorrow which is an automatic stress reducer.

Thank you again, and I will continue checking in this week. I can not say enough about how different I feel today than last week. Even just from yesterday, which I think was better than Saturday.

I'm sooooooo glad! I really was worried you were going to slide into psychosis. I have to take antipsychotics twice a day. I can't get away with prn. On the plus side I'm stable happy , and calm. So it's all good. I'm also not drowsy all the time. Although I do have bit of insomnia the last five days due to a med change. My pdoc just prescribed Trazodone, and I'm crossing my fingers that will fix the glitch. Please let me know how you bare doing. I am interested in knowing whether your lottery system works though. That would be incredible. How knows you might win a noble prize for msth,lol. You never know. Prayers are with you.

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I take risperdal every night, have just been taking more for several days now. I am going to keep doing that until I settle in for awhile at a lower level. I might start doing an afternoon dose to cover me better for early evening. If I get locked in on week days, it's after work within an hour or so. Then it's 3 hours later.

I did spend several hours tonight on the project. It was significantly more organized though and probably the best work I've done so far.

The goals are to get four plus numbers out of the grid I use. Ideally all of them. And on one ticket to get 3+, ideally 5 or 6.

It is playing a friendly game with a machine. That people created. I doubt the creation process and methods was noble prize winning hah. Meaning that the machine isn't that bright.

I'll let you know how I'm doing later this week. In the next few draws I don't know if I'll win, but if I do it won't be much of a surprise, just proof of the manic-hatched theory. Which has already been proven, but some additional evidence would be welcomed and I think that will continue to happen.

I need to watch the hours I work on it. And sleep hours. Which is where I'm heading now.

Good night. Glad you are doing better

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I don't think I'm manic but I'm obsessing pretty heavy and getting lost in it again. Things were really clear earlier and I did well with organizing things for a couple hours. Now when I look at it I feel lost. Have been working on it a few hours. Hard to put down. But I have got to.
I took a small dose of risperdal when I got home from work bc was really irritable. I'm going to keep doing that plus taking the bigger HS dose that I've been doing. This sucks. I'm on to something and sometimes it flows well and is very clear, other times it gets tangled up and I can't make anything out of it.

I need to stop for tonight but I have to have things ready for tomorrow and I don't do well if I'm rushed. So, again, this sucks. And again, I'm not manic just obsessing some. This isn't how it was but is more like it today than yesterday. I thought I was really well yesterday. Work makes it challenging to stay in a good place when I'm not my most well. it also gives me the structure I need to stay as well as possible which is the big goal.

Sorry to hear you're having problems with obsessing again. I usually only obsess anymore when I'm stressed , or anxious. I do also have ocd. I try and distract myself with peaceful music, and sometimes I meditate while listening to music. It seems to help some. I hope tomorrow is much better.

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I took more risperdal again last night, am at 1.5 now for 2 days. I feel the most clear and connected I've felt in awhile. I had the obsession some yesterday but not as much. I really feel like I slept the last couple nights. I did not win last night (jackpot!) but I did have a couple small wins. This morning I have already thought of making this a hobby, not a life purpose. It got that way for a little while. I'm definately not manic today, I don't even think hypo low-grade. I'm just me today, is how it feels.

Once again, risperdal to the rescue. Short-term at least. I have tried to pull myuself off it several times, it does not work. I've tried lower doses, it does not work for very long. I was on 0.5 when I got manic several weeks ago. And now am taking 3 times that for a couple nights after doubling it for a week or so I don't remember. I just know I feel way different today, and in a "my brain and body are in the same plane, not in two seperate worlds today.

I think I can win the lottery still but am more interested in smaller prizes often, than thinking that if I don't win, that social services in town will collapse, because they needed the millions I was going to imminently give with the foundation I was starting. Dispersed by the 10 member council I had 'created'. It's almost kind of funny now. But not.

I will say again, I feel sooo much better today and my sleep the last two nights is awesome. Thanks,

I'm very glad you feel more yourself. Making it a hobby sounds like a great plan. So glad you are getting morebrest

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Me too. Thank0-you for your help in that, it was a really really big help last weekend or whenever I first posted.

Of course your welcome. We have to look out for each other

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I am in another world from this morning. A little while after I got home from work i started crying and did for two or three hours. it stopped now and i feel really slow. and maybe that's from crying. i got manic and this is the otherside. i don't understand how it can flip like that but it does and has before. i should have known this was coming but no, because i haven't had any notable depression this year. i am really slowed down.

Take it easy, and breath. You're the same person now as you were this morning. Your body is playing tricks on you. Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine. Maybe take a short nap. I find when I get mildly depressed that if I take a nap it's like my body resets itself , and then I feel fine. Maybe it's time to consider staying on an antipsychotic full time, or do you take a mood stabilizer? I take Lamictal to stabilize my moods, and Geodon to take care of my mania, Prozac for depression and my ocd. I hope tomorrow resets your mood and that you are back on top. Peace my friend

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It is tricks. Thank-you. I think I will actually go to bed soon. I am alternately moving around and pacing and then very slow i mean i stop moving. then i kind of snap back into it and then it happens again but mostly all slowed. it is all tricks as you say. psychomotor retardation. it is tricks. it was not like this an hour ago. i can move it just feels like i can't i am ok. my eyes don't look good in the mirror I went flat. Bed now. It will change back, I just need rest. this has taken some time to type. Thank-you.

You're welcome of course

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I've been crying all morning it stops for a few minutes then comes back.
I did sleep last night I'm not sure how much at least 8.
I did take lamictal this morning as I always do.
I am not as slowed down physically as I was last night.
It is sunny and warm out. I'm going to sit out there, if I'm crying it might as well be in my garden in the sun!
I did call doctor's office.

Glad you called the doctor
Sorry to hear you are crying. I hope the rest of your day improves

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How are you feeling now ? Just checking on you. Hope things are better now. Please let me know

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