[Wander]

Down here in the Southern Hemisphere Summer is kicking in. I am so thankful for the warmer weather but it is still not hot enough for my liking. Still, I have been able to snorkel a few times a week due to a respite in the Fibromyalgia. In fact I have been busy all round, with work, Study, catching up with family and two friends. It was nice to see friends as I hardly see anyone. So, Life is good but I still have mixed symptoms popping up here and there. I’m just grateful the consistent mixed episode seems to have subsided.

Not looking forward to NYE as I’m working 9-6 pm then spending the evening alone in my flat. I wish I had somewhere to go and people to hang out with. Oh well, it is one of my goals, to make good friends and be more social. It has just been so hard the last 10 years as I’ve been so unwell. I grieve my past and childlessness but am trying to look forward and start my life again.

Hugs to all who are struggling, especially at this time of year. Take care of yourselves and seek support if you need it, whether it’s from here or somewhere else.

[Tucson]

It has been in the 70s here lately. This has been helping with my heating bills indeed! My daughter and I have been getting along better lately. She also realizes that she has been behaving poorly which has surprised me. She took a freind of the family’s car all day and night long forcing them to walk home. She does not have a drivers license either. This is the first time she has admitted that she has a problem. Maybe she will be OK in time.

[xRavenx]

I don't know why, but my fears are coming back and hitting me hard. I am extremely anxious and keep thinking something is going to kill me. It is difficult to get this feeling out of my head. I wish the answer was not that I need to take more meds, because I am sick of taking all these things and dealing with the side effects. Those in itself make me feel more fearful, but it might be needed to stabilize. The thoughts are getting so bad that I felt if it gets any worse, it might drive me to needing hospitalization. I am trying to distract myself at the moment, but even that is very difficult.

[bpforever1]

I am doing ok. I let go of the online man but gave him information about quitting alcohol and seeking help. I feel bad about the whole situation but don't feel as bad because I tried to steer him into getting help. I ate well during lunch. He spent over 150 dollars on lunch and paid for it all. Of course, he drank four big bottles of strong beer and two drafts on top of this. So, I was like here we go again. I thanked him for being nice to me. I sent him off at the airport and said goodbye. Then, I wrote him for the last time about how to seek help. I believe he is a nice man who has a weakness. But, until he seeks help, no one can help. I wished him well. This New Year's holiday will be lonely again. But, I feel ok. I have many things to do and will enjoy my solitude by going out and eating something nice. It could be worse. I could be with my nutty family stressing out over their problems. Or, I could be in a bad relationship. I am totally untangled and free and for once quite happy.

my reply to this thread is the classic line...

I'm bored

saturday afternoon and nothing to do

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bpforever1

I am doing ok. I let go of the online man but gave him information about quitting alcohol and seeking help. I feel bad about the whole situation but don't feel as bad because I tried to steer him into getting help. I ate well during lunch. He spent over 150 dollars on lunch and paid for it all. Of course, he drank four big bottles of strong beer and two drafts on top of this. So, I was like here we go again. I thanked him for being nice to me. I sent him off at the airport and said goodbye. Then, I wrote him for the last time about how to seek help. I believe he is a nice man who has a weakness. But, until he seeks help, no one can help. I wished him well. This New Year's holiday will be lonely again. But, I feel ok. I have many things to do and will enjoy my solitude by going out and eating something nice. It could be worse. I could be with my nutty family stressing out over their problems. Or, I could be in a bad relationship. I am totally untangled and free and for once quite happy.

so happy that you feel quite happy!!!!!
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Between -35 and -40 windchill out there......glad I'm inside with a warm fur bottle on my feet.

oh how awfullly cold. stay warm!!!!!!
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Getting depressed (more deeply) again.
Just went through, am still going through, a lot of stress. It wore me out.



WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

Still in Indiana, cold and snow. back to louisiana on wed. then cold weather there....glad that I bought warm wool socks today with my lottery winnings!
bizi

It's nice to have you around!


WC

[Victoria'smom]

My husband is thinking about going back to school part time. I'm jealous, I don't think I'll ever be stable enough to think about going back to school. That would send me straight to the hospital. I'm worried I can sit at a table directing people where to go for 5 hours 1 day a week. I'm happy he's looking towards the future but so jealous. Why am I sitting here all paranoid and he's contemplating a future.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Getting depressed (more deeply) again.
Just went through, am still going through, a lot of stress. It wore me out.



WC

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. You’ve been through so much. It’s frustrating and disheartening (and sometimes downright scary) to feel yourself slipping into a deeper depression. I’m not sure what to say to even start to help you feel better but I’m thinking of you, I care and I’m sending big hugs and positive vibes.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. You’ve been through so much. It’s frustrating and disheartening (and sometimes downright scary) to feel yourself slipping into a deeper depression. I’m not sure what to say to even start to help you feel better but I’m thinking of you, I care and I’m sending big hugs and positive vibes.

Thanks so much Jennifer! Your support means a lot to me.

WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Been a quiet day today. Mostly did laundry and a few chores.

I had dry needling done on my lower back yesterday, so it's a little sore now. As long as I drink lots of water and put ice on it, it'll be fine.

We looked at having a desk made that I can sit at comfortably. It's way too expensive, so I'll look at some ready-made places. My monitor sits too high, and with having to tilt my multifocals to see I get neck and shoulder pain in a few hours.

Mood is wobbly between fear, sadness, and calm. Hoping to work more on staying calm next year.

[sonjaward809]

I'm having a tough time accepting my brothers death. His funeral was yesterday and I wasn't able to attend since I no longer live down south. I didn't have a way to get down there in time. I'm beginning to have a mixed episode, but I feel numb. Might have to go back IP after staying out for 7 years straight. The thought of that scares the crap out of me! My clinic has a day program though that I can go to from like 8-5 during the week so I'm thinking of trying that before I admit myself for IP treatment. I go see the nurse Monday to figure out if my medications need adjusting and if I can join the day program. My back has been hurting pretty bad too but my broken foot had been healing up pretty well until I fell on it today. Slipped on an ice patch by the door. It seems like it keeps raining on me and it's not letting up any time soon. My other brother seems to think I can drive with a broken foot, but if I get into a wreck I'm 100% liable since I would be driving with a broken foot so I refuse to drive right now. Idk nobody in my family seems to be listening to me when I say I'm not doing too good. They keep telling me to just "suck it up" and that it will "be better soon" but they don't understand how Bipolar works. It doesn't just go away because you want it to. I'm losing interest in the things that I normally love .. music sounds dull. Maybe it's a depressive episode and not a mixed .. idk. I lost my grandma in October and she was the main reason I moved up north, it was to help take care of her. I was only here for around 3-4 months before she passed. I now stay in her house and it's a little difficult with her being gone. But I'm adjusting to it. I spend 90% of my day sleeping now. I just randomly check on here because you guys know what it's like to have Bipolar whereas my family doesn't. 2 of my brothers have Bipolar .. so you would think they would understand but they don't. Idk I feel all alone up here even with the few family members I have up here because nobody is taking me seriously. I'm trying to stay strong though.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by sonjaward809

I'm having a tough time accepting my brothers death. His funeral was yesterday and I wasn't able to attend since I no longer live down south. I didn't have a way to get down there in time. I'm beginning to have a mixed episode, but I feel numb. Might have to go back IP after staying out for 7 years straight. The thought of that scares the crap out of me! My clinic has a day program though that I can go to from like 8-5 during the week so I'm thinking of trying that before I admit myself for IP treatment. I go see the nurse Monday to figure out if my medications need adjusting and if I can join the day program. My back has been hurting pretty bad too but my broken foot had been healing up pretty well until I fell on it today. Slipped on an ice patch by the door. It seems like it keeps raining on me and it's not letting up any time soon. My other brother seems to think I can drive with a broken foot, but if I get into a wreck I'm 100% liable since I would be driving with a broken foot so I refuse to drive right now. Idk nobody in my family seems to be listening to me when I say I'm not doing too good. They keep telling me to just "suck it up" and that it will "be better soon" but they don't understand how Bipolar works. It doesn't just go away because you want it to. I'm losing interest in the things that I normally love .. music sounds dull. Maybe it's a depressive episode and not a mixed .. idk. I lost my grandma in October and she was the main reason I moved up north, it was to help take care of her. I was only here for around 3-4 months before she passed. I now stay in her house and it's a little difficult with her being gone. But I'm adjusting to it. I spend 90% of my day sleeping now. I just randomly check on here because you guys know what it's like to have Bipolar whereas my family doesn't. 2 of my brothers have Bipolar .. so you would think they would understand but they don't. Idk I feel all alone up here even with the few family members I have up here because nobody is taking me seriously. I'm trying to stay strong though.

Do you know what you want from family?
Could you possibly tell them?

WC

[xRavenx]

sonjaward809, hugs I am so sorry to hear about your loss and all that you are going through. It is especially hard when people do not understand BP when it is affecting you very much so. You have support and understanding here. Take care.

[bpforever1]

I am all alone on New Year's Eve. But, it is peaceful. I thought about going out tomorrow and see what people are doing. I don't think any store is open though. I am feeling ok. The online man went home and said he would do something about his drinking. I would like to continue to encourage him. He admits he has a drinking problem. He knows he has to change. This is the first step. So, I am going to see if I can be supportive of him. I know I should not worry about him and run away. But, I feel positive that he will change for the better. I probably won't see him for awhile but will continue to communicate with him. Hopefully, the information I gave him will be of use to him. Also, on another issue, my brother and I talked and he is interested in coming here to live with me while finding jobs. I hope he succeeds too. So, the next year will be filled with many agendas.

[jmariah001]

Husband works 6-2 today. I am hoping I can sleep better once he leaves. I tried to lay down but he keeps elbowing me. I've been fighting a nasty cold for a few days now. I ran out of meds for it. Have to get more Wednesday. That's when I will have money. It sucks being sick. At least the depression and the anxiety are somewhat better. I wish it wasn't so cold here. It only has been getting to a high of 25 during the day. Not sure of the night temps. Well I think I will go now and try and sleep.

[hopeless2015]

-14 degrees here, sitting on loveseat with heavy sweatshirt and fleece jacket over that lol. Not going out to celebrate new years eve this year and I'm glad we're staying home. I'm going to get up new years day and make a nice batch of biscuits and gravy then bake oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Back to work on Tues after 10 days off.

Hugs to everyone!

[Moreta]

Pain is rough today. Anger is gone, but I didn't take any prednisone. Been a pretty chill day so far. Went and picked up the last of my meds that I needed to get filled, so now I'm good till next week when the fiasco happens when I try to fill my nuvigil and it has to be authorized. I wish I could fill it 7 days in advance like my other meds but it's a controlled substance so you can only fill it 2 days ahead of time, so I might be a lump for a while. It's damn cold here in NC. Tomorrow's low is gonna be 12. I can't wait till spring.

[Unrigged64072835]

Doing better despite having a slew of small issues today. Just things going haywire for some reason, or no reason at all. Plus my sleep was disrupted and I had a vivid nightmare before I finally got up.

Hope everybody feels better and has a decent New Year.

[99fairies]

I'm doing pretty good today. The cold meds have really helped my dystonia and that is such a relief. I actually managed to have a shower and clean my house today...yay!

[Zigy]

I was off all last week. I was hoping I'd rest some, but I just can't. I'm depressed and racing thoughts, rocks in the belly and fear of returning to work on Tuesday just would not leave me all that time. One more day before going back to that awful place called work. I'm taking my pills, plug my ears and going to bed at 10 hoping the drunks won't wake me at midnight with fireworks.

[pirilin]

I'm doing good. Happy new year.

[scatterbrained04]

I'm too depressed to give a hoot about NYE. Have been laying in bed the last hour. My mind won't shut up, and the dialog ain't good. I think my son is trying to get me to stay up, but I really just want to take my meds and go to sleep.