Bipolar check in #45

Hi Blue_Bird It was good to ''talk'' to you last night.

Hey fuzzy, it was nice talking to you as well I hope you're doing well today

I woke up with zero motivation but like usual right after a few cups of coffee I'm ready take on the day

Took a shower this morning, wasn't wanting to but I feel better after doing it. Will probably do a lot of reading today if I can get myself to focus.. the hardest part is just sitting down and getting started, once I start I'm good to go. I'm enjoying a book series I got for free on my Kindle from BookBub. Going to practice ukulele of course, I'm getting much better at playing Happy Birthday. Working on mastering that then will move on to some other songs.

Making some homemade seasoned potato wedges tonight, those are always delicious.

Another thing I want to get back into is drawing, I've barely drawn the past month, again it's the whole motivation thing, once I start I'm good to go but it's getting myself to begin that's difficult. Will just have to push myself. Cause I really enjoy sketching.

There are so many things I want to do with all this time inside, get back into learning Italian, improve my math skills, learn about different topics with Khan Academy. Might as well do something productive.

I need to pay off what I owe my college so I can finish up my associates degree. I miss taking classes. Hopefully I'll be able to get that taken care of within the next year. Sorry about this rambling post.

Hope everyone is doing well

I celebrate who I am. If someone wants to say I am ''paranoid'' or ''childish'' then that is about them.

These ideas, learning Italian, improving maths skills etc are great

I really really do not like showers.

No need to apologize for a rambling post, I don't think it is, and even if it was then...

Love to all

My nosebleeds started up again. Multiple times a day. I’m afraid to go to the ENT specialist right now because of the virus. I currently lean forward and put pressure on my septum where the wound is but I’m still burning through toilet paper. I know someone mentioned aquaphor. I’ll try that. I’ve googled ways to stop the length of bleeds. If anyone has any suggestions, I’d welcome them. It’s a challenging situation at a bad time.

I was able to order masks off Amazon and my niece ordered me some off Etsy not knowing I’d ordered already. Should be here soon. I don’t expect to have to go back out until the 13th though.

Doing well aside from nosebleeds. Warm regards to all.

Do people have ****ing wires to my head and say "oh, boy, spikes is feeling quite frightened of EVERYTHING today, maybe it's time to pump her septic tank and knock on her door and make loud noises and sound like kidnappers on the porch"
I swear on my life they do this every time. If it's not te septic it's the oil or campaign asshats or something along the lines. They're screwing with me. They're screwing with me and I'm going to take action the next time it ****ing happens.

I'm nervous. I've got to take mum to the clinic for her warfarin blood check. This is something that has to be done, can't postpone it. Ewww a clinic! We have disposable paper masks that mum saved from pri trips to the clinic. Not sure how safe they are, but that's all we got. Then fri morning I need to go grocery shopping, it's been two weeks since I've been.

We have something kinda similar here we have always referred to as Oregon mist. They get it in Seattle a lot, too--not sure what it's called up there. I love it! It feels so nice!!

I could certainly be wrong, but, as far as I can tell, love is the only thing that can transcend this whole crazy, life-on-earth thing. At least, it is the only one I have been able to locate...

I'm sorry, spikes--I really hope the injection goes calmly for you.

Have you ever been on higher dose Depakote? I just mention it because I just had this lithium and Abilify resistant mania and the only thing that helped finally was 1500 mg of Depakote a night. Was like a miracle for me. My pdoc says it almost always works for him.

Anyway, just thought I would share that. Hope your day is calmer!!!

Hugs!!!!

I also believe this is true

Papa bear and I have been in isolation for just over three weeks (I just checked with him)

We have had good service from grocery delivery services

My benzos have been approved (early) and the other meds

I am also convinced Love is the answer

Wishing health, safety and wellness to all

Sometimes adding a saline spray several times a day can also add moisture and help out a bit. Humidifiers may help. Avoid cold medicines, if you can, as they can dry you out, too. Are you on anything like Wellbutrin or other meds that can contribute to drying your nose out? That could also be a factor. Drink tons of water.

That's all I got. Hope it gets better soon!!!!!!!!!!!

Got through the first edit of the book and realized I had left a few things out. This always happens to me at the beginning. I constantly leave myself these little reminders (in the text) not to forget things, and then I end up finding them all later!!!! Ha!!! Gives me more work, damnit!!
Anyhoo, going to try to add those today. Might not get through all of them, but we shall see. Book is about 80,000 words, so, should probably end up at around, oh, maybe 86,000 or so. It's fine. Should work.

Sending love and hugs to everyone!!!!!

What is the book about? I think I missed this

I still feel sick. I finally figured out once and for all that I forgot my evening medications last night. That's why I go next to no sleep and feel sick. I must have taken Saturday's pills on Sunday and Sunday's on Monday and then thought I took Monday's when I didn't.

I had my therapy a bit ago. She's always nice, but I had a hard time getting through it.

I have officially snapped in this coronavirus situation. I was handling it pretty well since I am naturally an introvert and don’t like going out anyway (except to eat). But now my state governor has shut down all state and county parks. Also, my township shut down all ITS parks. NOW I feel ****ing trapped. I can’t even go to a ****ing park? AND the governor keeps saying he thinks the lockdown will go well into summer. I’m freaking out. I want to go hiking and to the beach and ****. Why couldn’t this have happened over the winter, when it was cold?

And I’m increasingly worried because I’ve also been reading that this could go on until a vaccine is developed. Like, we could stamp out the virus, but as soon as we loosen restrictions it pops up again and we go back into lockdown. This could potentially go on for 18 ****ing months.

The closing of the parks has tipped me over the edge. I want to see my family. I haven’t seen my grandparents since February (bc I got sick with that nasty sinus infection). Video chatting is nice but I need to see everyone in person.

I do have virtual therapy tonight, so I hope she can calm me down.

I do not think it will be 18 months, based on what I've been reading. I think it'll be sooner than that, but that's just my opinion.

Also, just repeating what I've heard: the outbreak in China was suspected to have occurred back in October/November (*not* December), with the Chinese government allegedly trying to cover it up before admitting to it. However, it is now early April and China is seeing a great recovery. See here: China Coronavirus: 81,740 Cases and 3,331 Deaths - Worldometer

So... if we assume October was the date it started... then it's been 6 months since the coronavirus outbreak in China, and now China is mostly done with it. Approx 1200 people left (of the 80,000 people) and they've started taking down makeshift hospitals, as they do not need them anymore. I know that China had less cases than us, but just looking at the trends... I would say that 18 months sounds kind of like a gross overestimation. I think that's a fear mongering tactic spread about by the media. I would say that 6-8 months *from onset* (January) is far more realistic. So... sometime by July/August sounds more realistic.

Listening to a song with triggering lyrics ... fantastic timing

The clinic visit went better than expected. They had a table set up right inside the door. They had hand sanitizer and masks and we're taking tempatures. They gave mum a green sticker and then directed me towards a waiting area. I was the only person there. It was 2 o'clock and must have been break time. Cause many were coming to the coffee shop of drinks. Everyone had masks on. I'm glad mum had the masks she had cause now they only have the older tie masks available. Mums had elastic loops. The nurse gave mum a number to call about her sore throat. That will be interesting.

That sounds very stressful, but I'm glad you were able to bring your mother to the clinic. I hope she feels better soon.

I hate that your dealing with nosebleeds again and your fear of going anywhere medical ( understanding).. I dunno if you have tried a good ole Styptic stick .. they are used for stopping bleeding from getting nicked from shaving. Most stores should still have them in the shaving aisle.. not sure if it will help you or not but might be worth a try

Have you called the clinic to find out how they are dealing with people like your Mom that needs blood due to blood thinners? Maybe they have set up in an area that will allow you to avoid as many people as possible??? Maybe they are offereing a drive thru for such important blood work ???

When I had to go out last week as soon as we got home we jumped in the shower and all clothes went right into the wash..

I hope there is a way for your Mom to get this done with as small a exposure as possible