Bipolar check-in #56

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Originally Posted by Scooter9 I requested a refill of my meds and my pdoc says she wants to see me before she authorizes it. I only have 10 days left and she's in only twice a week, I hope I can get an appointment with her before I run out. My anxiety is way up. It's been up for many months now but I think I need to make clear that I need help to cope with it. I wear a Fitbit to track my sleep and activity and it has been congratulating me that I've had my heart rate at over 100 for a couple of hours each day. I didn't pay much attention to that for a while but when I looked back at what I was doing at the time, I wasn't doing anything at all. Just working or reading etc. And my heart is going over 100! I looked back at this and it has been going on for months! I used to be on gabapentin but I don't like taking all those big pills 3-4 times a day. I really don't know what else she could do to help me, but I guess that's why she's the doctor. I also used to be on Ativan but I guess that's a benzo which I think they're cutting back on overall.

My anxiety has been off the charts lately. Pdoc prescribed an AP. Have you tried one for anxiety? Even at a low dose an AP can help.

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Originally Posted by buddha1too ... @BethRags...Stay cool, woman...Stay cool! 111 degrees sounds absolutely brutal! The Giants are in first place, 2.5 games ahead of those fukking Dodgers! They're also riding a 4 game winning streak. You & your husband must be pretty happy about that. (BTW, I didn't get your @ message.) Tomorrow is my nieces' (yes, plural) graduation party. It should be fun. My partner has today off work, so she'll put me to work vacuuming, steam cleaning carpets, etc. I need a kick in the pants sometimes. I don't know what things will be like when she retires on July 2. The pandemic was good practice for spending long periods of time together, though.

That the Giants are in 1st place mitigates the brutality of this heat some.

Enjoy your nieces' grad party. It sounds like fun!

I reply and post here and there, but I'm actually sleeping too much. I wake up - work - nap - work - sleep. I nap for more than 2 hours every day. I have to work on my other job but have not finished anything this week. I have to do it this weekend.

I'm on Latuda and have been taking it for years. I think I'm maxed out on the dose so I can't go higher.

I tried Seroquel but even at the smallest dose it makes me very tired - I tried it for a couple of weeks but couldn't function on it.

I saw in another post that you tried gabapentin, how's that working out for you?

Oh dear! My super senior cat has never minded going to the vet or traveling before. But today I brought up his carrier and now he’s disappeared! He has an appointment at 2:30. He’s been losing weight and I think drinking more water. No other changes but the weight loss is noticeable. The only change in behavior is disappearing. He doesn’t do that so now I’m worried he is sick and doesn’t want to go to the vets. Oh, he just came back. I didn’t expect to get in so soon. True living here the only place he goes now is to the vets. Before in Texas we traveled. He doesn’t mind the car at all and he’s fine in hotel rooms. But since I moved back to Minnesota I go nowhere. Poor guy.

I'm mostly packed for our weekend trip, and even prepared food for the road, which my husband insists on. We need to return to the Ministry of the Interior next week to try to get them to add a note in my new country ID about the name discrepancy. Kind of like a "aka Jane Anne Nováková". If that works, then hopefully we won't have to do certain things all over again. If it works (pretty please, pretty please) we may even have the public health insurance application underway by the end of the same day. If it works. If not, at least my husband will have his public health insurance application underway. One of us is better than neither.

I feel a little silly saying it's getting hot here after reading about the outrageous temps in places of the US. I'll say this, though. Our house does not have central air conditioning. There is one bedroom upstairs that has an attached unit, and there is a very strange-looking gizmo thingy that we could bring into our downstairs bedroom and shove the exhaust out the window. Historically, it never really got that hot in Czech Republic. However, now with global warming things are changing fast. Luckily the downstairs is still comparatively bearable...for now. Upstairs not.This Sunday's high in Prague will be 33 C (92 F) and yet the expected high next Thursday is only 21 C (70 F). Strange.

My not sleeping is because my doc cold turkeyed me off ambien. I take two 10mg tablets at bedtime, that’s twice the dose that’s recommended by the medical establishment, but I’ve been on it for 5-6 years. I actually take one and a half most nights and 2 on Saturday and Sunday. So I do have one a night until Friday then I’m out for good. My prescription was due last week Wednesday and he told my pharmacy he wouldn’t fill it anymore. No discussion with me, no warning.

I hope your wife doesn’t work you too hard! Yeah the. Pandemic was a breaking point for some couples. My daughter and sister did great. But my sister and her husband are used to close quarters. They’re RV’ers they’ve been retired for a bit now and spend winters down south. They just downsized to a smaller RV for easier driving. It’s much smaller.

Soupe I hope you’re able to get the name thing straightened out and apply for the medical the same day. It would be a relief to get that taken care of.

I guess when my doctor said “Ativan” he meant “Valium” I have no idea how that works in comparison to Ativan and Xanax. Can anyone tell me? I thought I read somewhere that Valium works the longest of the 3. He prescribed me 5mil 3 times a day. Which seems like a lot. He gave me a 3 month supply. That may not be a good idea either. I do not plan on taking 3 a day. Hopefully. I took a Xanax this morning. So I’m hoping it will be an easy switch like he says it will.

Did it affect your appetite at all?

I just took one 10 minutes ago. I’m kind of drowsy but it’s not too bad. My anxiety is decent. I don’t feel the need to take a Xanax.

He also raised my lamictal to 225. So hopefully these both work like magic. With little side effects.

Valium always freaked me out. I think because of Stephen King books. It was mentioned in one of them or something.

Edit: Now my anxiety is super low, the lowest it’s been in days, and I’m in this good mood. I don’t know if that’s a side effect or if I’m just happy for some relief from this major anxiety I’ve been having.

Edit again: I’m still doing ok with just the one. I have absolutely no desire to eat though despite not eating much today. It took me an hour to get through a bag of frozen strawberries. I was reading horror stories of people losing drastic amounts of weight on Valium. I only need to lose 30 pounds to get to where I want. But so far I’ve just been lying in bed all afternoon with my music on feeling pretty good for once.

Well I’m relieved 😌. Sir is fine. It was a hit in the pocketbook but worth it to not need to worry anymore. He went from 14.8lbs to 11lbs. That’s a pretty big loss. I had to make his halter smaller. He only wears it when we travel as he won’t keep a collar on. He knows all cat collars snap off and he rolls over puts all four feet under his cooler and pulls it off. But all his blood work came back fine, he’s not throwing up or anything so it’s just old age. He could be older than his estimate of 16-17. He’s a rescue cat. Right now he’s happy to be home but mad at me!

I’m so confused. I think I’m having withdrawals from the Xanax so does that mean I take another Valium? I’ve only had one today. I don’t want to end up in the ER because I’m worried my pdocs license will be yanked. And he is being pretty irresponsible. My old T told me many times that my behaviors could have cost her her license. As for seeing her I highly doubt she’ll take me back with the transference issue and the possible ED thing. It doesn’t bother me as much today as it did yesterday though. I haven’t heard from anyone today. Even the pharmacy was mucking around since 5:30 last night until my mom actually went in and talked with them.

But I feel super dizzy and shaky right now. I saw online that Valium is more addicting then heroin. I threw out my melatonin. In the big garbage bin in the garage where I can’t possibly get to it.

Now my eyes are itching and watering like crazy and I feel like I’m freaking out. I still haven’t taken the second Valium.

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I’m so confused. I think I’m having withdrawals from the Xanax so does that mean I take another Valium? I’ve only had one today. I don’t want to end up in the ER because I’m worried my pdocs license will be yanked. And he is being pretty irresponsible. My old T told me many times that my behaviors could have cost her her license. As for seeing her I highly doubt she’ll take me back with the transference issue and the possible ED thing. It doesn’t bother me as much today as it did yesterday though. I haven’t heard from anyone today. Even the pharmacy was mucking around since 5:30 last night until my mom actually went in and talked with them. But I feel super dizzy and shaky right now. I saw online that Valium is more addicting then heroin. I threw out my melatonin. In the big garbage bin in the garage where I can’t possibly get to it. Now my eyes are itching and watering like crazy and I feel like I’m freaking out. I still haven’t taken the second Valium.

My experience with Valium is that it is, like all benzos, both potentially psychologically and physically addicting. I'm pretty sure Valium was the first benzo available to people. It goes way back. Like all benzos, Valium works really well...until your body has built up a tolerance to it, then it stops working and you need more.

Valium is weight neutral.


The way to avoid becoming addicted is to avoid taking it every day for more than about a month.

You definitely need to talk to your pdoc so your questions can be answered. Also, there must be a ton of info online about Valium.

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Originally Posted by Nammu Well I’m relieved 😌. Sir is fine. It was a hit in the pocketbook but worth it to not need to worry anymore. He went from 14.8lbs to 11lbs. That’s a pretty big loss. I had to make his halter smaller. He only wears it when we travel as he won’t keep a collar on. He knows all cat collars snap off and he rolls over puts all four feet under his cooler and pulls it off. But all his blood work came back fine, he’s not throwing up or anything so it’s just old age. He could be older than his estimate of 16-17. He’s a rescue cat. Right now he’s happy to be home but mad at me!

That is good news! Yay Sir! He sounds like a clever cat

One of my cats, she's 10, has lost some weight, even though she's very hungry. No other symptoms, but I do want to take her in for a "senior check-up" before too long. I think a senior check-up is about $300 ??

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Originally Posted by Scooter9 I'm on Latuda and have been taking it for years. I think I'm maxed out on the dose so I can't go higher. I tried Seroquel but even at the smallest dose it makes me very tired - I tried it for a couple of weeks but couldn't function on it. I saw in another post that you tried gabapentin, how's that working out for you?

The gabapentin was a total waste. I'm not on it anymore. Seroquel never did anything at all for me except make me very sleepy and cause me to gain weight.

My pdoc prescribed perphenazine (Trilafon) at 16mg, which is a fairly high dose. It's an older AP. The only medication I've ever taken that really does help with my anxiety. It's not magic, but at least there's some relief.

I have another ****ing migraine. My neurologist appt isn’t until august 10. I think I need to practice some relaxation techniques. It’s definitely related to emotional distress. I’ve had them much more frequently since about a week before my psychotic break. I remember I first started having them in 9th grade when I was severely depressed, anxious, and mildly paranoid every day. I would have to go to bed as soon as I got home from school.

I wonder if I should go to a nutritionist. I have no idea whatsoever how to change my relationship with food. I’ve been miserable all day and been eating like crap. But it’s also hormone related. This is about the time that things go downhill until the next month. I want to talk to my dr about maybe a different birth control that might help with pmdd.

My pdoc in the program upped my dosage of seroquel XR. 100mg for the next 4 days then 150mg. She also told me to try taking it in the AM to reduce morning drowsiness. I’ll give it a shot tomorrow as I don’t have anything to do. RS is going to a truck show about two hours away in the next state. I thought maybe I’d go to my grandma’s but I’m a little upset with her too based on how she’s been treating my brother as well. But I dunno, My son is going to be complaining that there’s nothing to do and I don’t have money to take him out. He’s going to his coding class sometime between 10-12. But after that he’s just gonna be complaining about being bored.

I dunno. Lots of things to think about.

Sir’s visit today cost just over $200. But I bought some probiotics and that was $27. It was worth it to not worry any more. He’s a mixed breed and now looks more American shorthair than British shorthair cause he’s skinny. But he could still sit on Buddha’s dog! 😃 a 6lb puppy wouldn’t phase him at all. He likes dogs.

So it sounds like you’re a SAHM. Biochemistry is so interesting. I take 25mg of seroquel at night to sleep.

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Well I broke up with my alcoholic addict boyfriend who told me he views my medication the way I view thc. Bye boi. He called it mind altering. I’m like dude, I’m not even on an antidepressant , like you know nothing about the drugs I take. So arrogant .

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My son is still being unrealistic and agitated. He said something rude and He truly doesn't understand what he did wrong. I'm trying to take it day by day (some time by the hour) but I really worry about his future and his employability. He's more then capable but it's the social stuff that will get him fired or cost him money.

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Originally Posted by leomama Well I broke up with my alcoholic addict boyfriend who told me he views my medication the way I view thc. Bye boi. He called it mind altering. I’m like dude, I’m not even on an antidepressant , like you know nothing about the drugs I take. So arrogant . Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Smart decision, I believe.

I took a second Valium around 5:30. That helped with the feelings of being without the Xanax. It was a physical mental type reaction I was having. Then after the second one I fell asleep for a couple hours and I took the 3rd one half an hour ago. My anxiety is super chilled right now but I’m still having trouble sleeping. I’m hoping once the Xanax is out of my system, it feels like it already is starting to, the Valium will work longer and I can get by with one or two.

I haven’t been too hungry today so I ate Goldfish crackers for dinner. Then when I woke up at 8:30 I fixed some frozen zucchini. Noom really is helping me with my weight loss and hunger. Although the new meds did seem to be helping my appetite today and I’ve been overall motivated to slim down since I got my surgery 2 weeks ago.

Yeah it has worked pretty good for my anxiety. But I’m still dizzy and I don’t know if that’s the lack of Xanax or just a side effect. I did Google it a bit but got freaked out when I read “more addicting then heroin” and some bachelorette had drastic weight loss from being addicted to it. I did look at the side effects and dizziness is a common one. That seems to be the only big side effect I’m having.

I’m just glad for a break from this major anxiety that lasted for 2 weeks nonstop. I’ll have to figure out this situation better when things have calmed down completely regarding the Xanax being out of my system.

Thanks, Nammu! This issue is a source of much stress for me.

Glad to read that Sir is fine now.

Feeling okay right now. Just listening to rock music and relaxing. Been stable for a while now. The weather has been really nice lately. One thing I have a been struggling with is having my days and nights switched. I am up all night and sleep all day. I have the majority of my energy at night. I am my happiest at night to. During the day if am awake I feel like a zombie. I think some of my meds make me tired. They are wore off at night. Funny because I've been on the same stuff for a long time now. Same combo for a while now. I have a phone appointment with my meds doc in a week. I will tell her about the sleep situation then. Well that's about it. Have a good night everyone. Back to my music.

I think my 2nd shot helped my current "episode" by putting me to sleep for 13 hours. I feel a lot more grounded after that. I've decided to skip my morning lithium considering I'm close to toxic levels and it's not helping