Bipolar Check-In #76

I've been struggling to get through most days, in bed for much part of them. It's been difficult to respond to the few emails I get. I dropped out of the Czech class I was in, because the pace was too overwhelming. I'm cognitively affected by my depression. The last class I attended made me hyperventilate and quit. I emailed the school asking to apply the money towards a possible October course. They wouldn't, but said I could take a class this month that is two chapters behind what I had reached. That was a Plan B request I asked for. I figure it could simply be a low stress "review" and that if I skip a few classes this month it wouldn't matter.

Hubby arranged a low stress trip to the mountains, a bit south near the German and Austrian border. We're hoping it will be a "Calgon Take Me Away" type trip. Workers have been on our property longer than I can bear and something horribly stressful resulted relating to the recent renovations. I won't mention that, but it's an awful headache and will cost us money we wouldn't have had to pay, otherwise. I'm feeling so discouraged and catastrophizing.

Yesterday my sister wrote me and as part reminded me that it was 18 years to the day our mother died. One of the worst days of my life, and a major trigger for my 10 psych hospitalizations and the loss of my career, start of disability, and ultimate loss of my home, in a sense. I try not to think of death anniversaries. I rather prefer acknowledging her birthday. Anyway, I know my sister is also grieving a lot.

I've been struggling to get through most days, in bed for much part of them. It's been difficult to respond to the few emails I get. I dropped out of the Czech class I was in, because the pace was too overwhelming. I'm cognitively affected by my depression. The last class I attended made me hyperventilate and quit. I emailed the school asking to apply the money towards a possible October course. They wouldn't, but said I could take a class this month that is two chapters behind what I had reached. That was a Plan B request I asked for. I figure it could simply be a low stress "review" and that if I skip a few classes this month it wouldn't matter.

Hubby arranged a low stress trip to the mountains, a bit south near the German and Austrian border. We're hoping it will be a "Calgon Take Me Away" type trip. Workers have been on our property longer than I can bear and something horribly stressful resulted relating to the recent renovations. I won't mention that, but it's an awful headache and will cost us money we wouldn't have had to pay, otherwise. I'm feeling so discouraged and catastrophizing.

Yesterday my sister wrote me and as part reminded me that it was 18 years to the day our mother died. One of the worst days of my life, and a major trigger for my 10 psych hospitalizations and the loss of my career, start of disability, and ultimate loss of my home, in a sense. I try not to think of death anniversaries. I rather prefer acknowledging her birthday. Anyway, I know my sister is also grieving a lot.

[QUOTE}Two of my uncles played both these melodies you presented. My grandfather taught me to dance polka (but since it is many years ago, I think that I probably have forgotten how to do it). I have one cousin who plays accordion and one son of mine went to learn it together with one of his cousins. Since it wasn't seen as modern among the youth, they soon dropped it.

Accordian can be a very modern music. I know @bizi is familiar with zydeco music, @Rosi700, but you, @Nammu & @Soupe du jour should give it a listen: