Bipolar Check-in #87

Friggin’ lab day for the chem E majors, I swear… this is what happens when you don’t dispose of your copper (II) sulfate or boric acid correctly!

Well it seems inspection is over and they didn’t pick my apartment! Yay! Now I can relax.

I hate the inspection days when they do the random ones. Here we have monthly inspections of every apartment then every 6 months the city comes in and chooses like 15 random apartments to inspect. I hate inspection days in general. Stressed me out. Even though mine are always fine. Lol

I’m doing okay today. Day off work. My son doesn’t have school today it’s a curriculum day. I’ll go to the mall with him. I need to go to the chemist to pick up his Ritalin. And I really feel like buying a sugar free mango iced tea with pearls. It’s delicious. No real plans for this weekend yet. I inject with Wegovy today. My dose doubles from 0.25 to 0.5ml. I hope the increase means even more weight loss. I’m not sure. Hopefully I don’t get the damn headaches like I usually do. They’ve only just semi stopped although I did surprisingly wake up with one this morning but I think it’s because I didn’t sleep great last night.

Me too, I hate inspections even though mine have always been fine. I’m not the world’s greatest housekeeper, I hate dusting and I tend to put off doing floors because it hurts my back. But I get it done and I keep my place relatively clutter free. But I’ve a lot of art and art supplies. At least now, thanks to you and blueberry I’m drawing every day. Today it was a book bag, came out pretty well. But I’m still waiting on the better drawing books.

I don't know what to do about my meds. They really knock me out for a few hours each day when I'm not busy. I slept for a couple hours this afternoon. My mom was on the phone with medicare which always alarms me and I asked what was going on but I was still mostly asleep. Something about our spendable cards but it wasn't anything to worry about.

I woke up and ate some sourdough pasta for an early dinner. I feel better I'm still kinda tired

It makes dieting easier when I'm asleep for a coulple hours to half the day. Does V8 count as a vegetable? I found some cans that are pretty much the size of regular soda cans.

I finally admitted I need help cleaning my room. My closet is a disaster and yeah... I need help. My mom called it hoardish but she is overeacting. It will take 20 minutes for the 2 of us to clean the closet

I need to get my haircut too. I look way too scruffy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter9 I just saw on Reddit there were green flames coming from man holes on the Texas Tech Campus! They evacuated and are investigating. Does this affect anyone here?

No, that is in Lubbock, TX up near the panhandle which is over an 8.5 hr. drive from the Houston area where I live. Texas is a pretty big state to drive across. It takes nearly a full day of hard driving to make it from Houston to El Paso though then we push the next 20 mi or so into Las Cruces, just to say we've made it into another state!

They may be having Spring Break there if not this week, than next week. H teaches at a university; his Spring Break is this week, but my daughter's is next week.

I've been struggling ya'll - just sitting around waiting to hear from my ex fills my days. It is no way to exist. Having a hard time letting go of that relationship, but something tells me I am going have to force myself to.

Had a big wake up call to be grateful today when an old friend of mine called me from jail! I didn't know what to do so I went over to her house to try and talk to her mother, but her brother said it's no use because her mother has a restraining order against her and even mediators aren't allowed. What a mess! I hate having to leave her in there. but I can't afford for her to stay here since she'll have nowhere to go. I feel so guilty for abandoning her, but she hasn't called me in months, and I don't really know what to do.

Sleeping is getting better - I managed to get up and dressed and out to a meeting today - it's been a while since I've been to an AA meeting. I don't go enough for me to chair one anymore, I used to like doing that.

Anyway, weather has been nice the past few days - I hope everyone is having a fantastic Thursday!

Shadow, you used to glow when talking about your aa meetings, the friends you had there and chairing the meetings. Do you think that’s something you could do again to fill your days? I think it was 30 meeting in 30 days that they used to tell those that needed it when I was in the hospital. I know you had a psychotic break not a relapse but you talk of loneliness and boredom. Maybe this could help?

They said in an article due to this incident spring break started today instead of over the weekend (supposed to be next week).

Yeah, I've even heard of 90 in 90 days too. I agree that since it's helped in the past, it might be something to get regular with again even if you don't stick to a rigorous 30 meetings in 30 days or similar. Would definitely help the loneliness and boredom, I think.

I think tomorrow morning when I get my meds I'm just gonna tell them I can't eat solid food until they take me off the dexmethylphenidate. I was on 15mg with my doses combined of methylphenidate, and now 20mg of dexmethylphenidate even though supposedly the dexmethylphenidate is twice as strong. I have no clue what my pdoc's reasoning behind doing the dosing like that was. Now I'm hangry but without being able to actually eat.

It's also hot af in my room even though I've had the heat off in here for like two days straight and have a window open (it's probably upper 30s in freedom units out there), but, hey, I HAVE PRIVACY SO I UNDERSTAND THE JOY OF WALKING AROUND IN BOXERS AND A TANK TOP WITHOUT A BRA NOW!!!! It's kinda fabulous.

I know what you mean about the heat. I never turned the heat on all winter. It got down to 64 F in here but that’s better than 70 something. I’ve got my windows wide open too. It’s 53 outside but 71 in here! I’m not quite the fan of deep freeze you are but geez I try to keep it around 68. Seems too early to turn on my AC though tomorrow maybe, it’s supposed to get up to the 70’s out there, then drop back down to 32!

Such a bad headache. Can’t get rid of it even with painkillers. Thanks Wegovy!

Yeah, I found a good workout for back pain. It's a chair exercise routine. I'm hoping that helps it. I also am going to ask my Dr for lidocaine patches for my back. They are pretty big, but I had to use 2 back then. I imagine I'll have to use 3 now, lol. But we'll see what my dr says. Sorry you have back pain too. It sucks!

Jeeze. I went to immediate care because my blood pressure had been really high for a few days and 134/101 just kinda did it for me. So I went to immediate care. The tech did an ekg and the np said "I don't like how this looks. You need to go to the ER." She wanted to call an ambulance but I said I was fine for my mom to drive me.

Despite being called ahead from immediate care I was still waiting for over an hour. Some lady was watching videos in russian or something on her phone and complaning about everyone going ahead of her. No one paid any attention to her. Then some black lady said to some black dudes sitting by her "they aren't paying attention to us because who we are but we are all the same" the guys ignored her. I did get called ahead of the 2 women and all the guys.

But it turns out that the fuking tech at immediate care didn't know how to work the machine. The EKG at the ER was fine.

They still put me through all these ridicolous tests so they can get their medicare money or whatever. Some tech came in the room and said "gotta urinate buddy?" Then I walked to the bathroom with him and he said "just pull the red string if you need me" I'm guessing based on that, I was passing pretty good tonight.

After like almost another 2 hours of waiting the doctor came in and he said "you're heart is perfectly fine. Your esophagus. Isn't. He says its esophagitis . Which makes sense why 5 tums and 2 pepcids a day aren't helping. He wants me to follow up with GI and he wants me on Carafate. I was on it before. I think it worked well but caused constpation.

But what a shyt show just because a technican can't do her job. Now its normally the time I get up and I'm like "what now."

Yesterday ended up sucking more and more as the day went on. Even right now I just want to go back to sleep. I might try. I really don’t have to leave for another two and a half hours I just can’t sleep late.

Mom and I were headed to the hospital yesterday around 7:45 for me to have 2 cardiac tests when we were involved in a rather violent head on collision. It was a real mess. Pieces of the car strewn across the street, fluids around the car and the engine smoking. Talk about an eye opener in a number of ways! We were taken to the ER via ambulance and checked out. It was a different hospital because the one we were headed to can’t handle internal bleeding. I have bruises from head to toe and two cracked ribs and mom is bruised from head to toe and needed stitches in several places. Thank goodness for seat belts and airbags.

I got a good night’s sleep and feel better mentally by far. I felt most of the pain right off but my knees are swollen and bruised this morning. The seat belt cut into my neck and my throat on the right side hurts inside like I have strep or something.

I don’t know if you all have noticed this about yourselves but I can struggle daily with bipolar and anxiety but when it comes to emergencies like that - I am calm, cool and collected and handle the situation well.

Happy and grateful to still be around today!

P.S. the guy that hit us was okay and walking around. He was so angry that I thought he was about to attack me. He told me that I had better tell the cops that his fiancee was driving and not him. There wasn’t anybody with him. He took off before the cops got there and left his car behind. Quite suspicious.

@Sunflower123 wow! I’m glad you’re relatively okay! Definitely sounds like the guy was either under the influence or had a suspended license (or no license at all). They’re gonna be after him! Hope you and your mom make a speedy recovery.

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i get gastritis and esophagitis all the time. carafate causes the worst constipation! drink lots of water! and dont strain or youll end up with hemmorhoids too!! i know the struggle as i take a daily med from my gastro and its not helping. hope the carafate helps.

my 9am appt no showed. she "forgot". ugh.

today is gorgeous. supposed to get up to 83! i only work a half day today yay!

@Sunflower123, you and your mother made it out alive, thank goodness! I hope you both heal soon (physically and mentally)!

@Mountaindewed I never officially had esophagitis but I do have to take pantoprazole for gastritis and had an esophageal tear, and when both were bad/active I had to take carafate. I don't remember being constipated, but I remember hating to make the slurry 3x a day every day for what seemed like forever! It did help. No more bloody vomit

The person I talked to this morning from my team wanted me to go to the ER or call emergency services. Uhh, no thanks. I would rather feel shytty and be able to go walk a few miles outside than feel shytty and be locked inside in insanely hot and dry air for a few hours or weeks just to get out and feel just as shytty, thank you very much.

Too many posts to catch up on. @Sunflower123 I'm glad you and your mother are okay after that collision. That's scary! @LadyShadow So sorry you are struggling. (((HUGS))) for all who are struggling right now.

It makes me feel almost guilty to say I'm nice and stable and even happy at times. Best I've felt in years, maybe even a decade without being hypomanic or manic. I slept very well last night. I took a long power walk, showered, had breakfast, great concentration reading with the SAD lamp. Drawing was a lot of fun this morning; I drew 4 pics and they are mostly pretty good, all in the creative corner of course.

Going to the library after lunch with my daughter; I have 4 holds ready, and 1 of them is a book I'm really looking forward to reading.