Bipolar Check-In #92

My case manager asked did I stop taking my medication like I was told to, in a text. So when I picked up my ingrezza I talked with someone from clinical coverage who was going try to sort this out! She took my phone number- which they have- and said someone would get back to me. They haven’t except to confuse me and of course I took my medications today and every day. I still had broken sleep and missed a chance to get together with my peer to peer girl this morning as I got up at 9 after being up from 5-7 and she had messaged me at 8-something saying it was too late so we rescheduled. If I go back to sleep now I may miss my call. I don’t want to go off my Vraylar or Gabapentin. What a mess.

I'm also with @JaneOnceMore in finding this thread too overwhelming to reply to everyone, so sorry about that

@BeyondtheRainbow lt's good you can laugh at your misadventures in life otherwise you cry. I hope all goes well with your ultrasound and diagnostic mammogram. Do you get the results today? I hope they won't have to do a biopsy. I have a mass too but thankfully the radiologist decided it was normal breast tissue with having dense breast tissue. I know it's scary though @Nammu - Those storms sound wild! I like plain thunderstorms but not when they're that bad! @LadyShadow - I feel so bad for you going through up & down moods. Could be rapid cycling maybe? If you don't see your pdoc soon, I think you should call and see if you can get in sooner or if the pdoc can do an adjustment to your meds to help with the depression @Blue_Bird - It sounds like you have a fantastic day planned!

As for me, I was tired from pushing myself to jog these past few days so I did a very gentle pilates video this morning. I read for awhile with my SAD lamp, finally was able to get into my book after 30 pages or so. Painting today did not go well. l trashed my first painting, tried to redraw it, got frustrated, finally painted a flower but it didn't really turn out. I used the pressed tray watercolor, and I think now I'm more accustomed to painting with tube colors, so the painting isn't that good. Kind of irritated by that, but I know these days happen, it's normal. I think I have a bit of PMS coming on. My app says my period is due to start any day now. After over a 2 week long period last month, I really am just so sick of periods already and having a short cycle, around 22, 23 days long does not help a bit!

I hope everyone has a great day!

Yeah, I love a plain old regular thunder storm too. But when they are destructive, not so much. Woke up to it still raining. No storm, just rain. Guess it’s gonna be off and on all day.

Slept hard last night. Had the most fantastic sci fic dream. I really need to get my laundry done! I have weeks piled up. Ugh 😩 it’s just so cumbersome to wheel it down to first floor only to find all the machines full and have to try again later. Ugh.

That’s what I hate about my
Apt. We share 3 machines and I hate waiting lol

]I'm pretty drained of energy

I think it was just the heat. But the garage is done

I’m tired. Been awake since 3:00am. Lay in bed till 4:30am then said stuff it and got up and made coffee.

I don’t have a clue what it is lately I feel nauseous when brushing my teeth which is shortly after my morning med dose. I’ve never had this before. I have to use such a small amount of toothpaste because the normal amount makes me feel more nauseous. I don’t know if I just need to change my brand of toothpaste or what.

We're here for you @LadyShadow! And, we're glad you're here.

I'm home from work MUCH earlier than I planned to be. My foot is in a lot of pain so I came home to rest it. I'm trying to decide if I want to go to urgent care. This happens sometimes and then gets better on its own. But, it hurts much worse than it normally does. First, I'll eat lunch. Then, I'll decide. If I don't go today, and it still hurts tomorrow, my work schedule for tomorrow is flexible enough I could go then.

I did get a good amount done at school though so that's good. It was nice to see my coworkers again too.

I’m glad your day at work seems to have been acceptable June08. So sorry about your foot though. It’s good your schedule is flexible tomorrow in case you need to go to urgent care. Hope it all works out for you.

Bit of a cluster **** today. My Pdoc thought I’d stopped taking my meds and freaked out saying I’d have a seizure going off gabapentin and Klonopin cold turkey! I’d done no such thing. My case manager asked me if I’d stopped like I was supposed to! I got confused by that but never stopped taking my meds!

I hadn’t slept in 3 nights, was disoriented and had been having hallucinations so Pdoc raised my Vraylar. I just took it. Let’s hope I sleep finally!

I see all these trans guys who are really musular and I just said eff it and I started working out. Not sure how good that is stomach wise. I don't feel like I pushed myself.

@JaneOnceMore that's a great way to frame days like that -- Thanks for the suggestion! I hope overdo it to the point of burnout -- it's always good to step back and recharge.

Thanks @Crazy Hitch!

I did end up going to urgent care. The PA said to think of it like a sprained ankle, but my foot. Or, there might be a little tendinitis. He said to stay off my feet, but when he learned I'm a teacher who needs to set up her classroom, he decided to give me a post-surgery shoe to see if that would help manage the pain. It minimizes how much my foot bends when I walk. I'm thankful he did this-hopefully, it will help.

He also put in a podiatry referral to get the process started in case it doesn't get better. Time to ice it and and work on some professional development I can do from home.

Ok maybe I did push myself.

I am crazy itching right now. I don't see anything though. I started my liptor but that was a few days. I shouldnt be having a reaction now I don't think.

Bur itchibg is real bad

Another good morning so far. Haven't taken a valium or a proponol and I'm coping just fine. Thursday is an excellent day on my timetable. My only GREAT day! I teach 2 classes and both classes are alright. Not great, but okay.

I got this guys.

My skin still feels clammy and I'm getting chills at the same time. Not sure its anything to worry about. My feet just feel like they are on fire

I thought working out would help out my stomach but I read this can't be fixed from working out.

It’s been a difficult day. Sleep problems last few nights resulting in exhaustion.

Here we go again! Fell asleep easily on increased Vraylar but woke up at 3 am wide awake again!

Good morning, just wanted to show my galaxy lighting in my room. The projector is really cool. It also has Bluetooth so I can play songs, podcasts, audiobooks, videos etc out loud on it from my phone
Also got my new watercolor set.

I’m doing good. Looking forward to my Bible study tonight with @LadyShadow !

Going to the pharmacy today. Out of my abilify. Just enjoying some coffee and music before I head out.

I ended up going to the crochet class yesterday and that was a lot of fun. It went on about 2 hours.

Looking forward to today!

Ooo that galaxy machine is really cool! Blue bird 🐦

Woke up early. It’s going to be a long day.

I fell asleep at 10 and I was having really bad nightmares. I woke up right before midnight to turn off my fan and that helped.
I woke up at 7 and I started working out right away. I got in the shower after and it felt so nice after yesterday. Now I smell like Old Spice and AXE instead of sweat

I have therapy in a bit and then we have to get a new fridge for the garage

been up since 5 am and had broken sleep all night. idk why. im exhausted. ugh. gonna be along *** day!

I fell asleep at 9 after taking the higher increase of Vraylar at 7 pm. I got tired around 8 but stayed up to talk with Caleb. Woke up at 3 for a while but fell back to sleep and happened to wake up just before my 7 am med alarm. I feel tired even though I had coffee and tea. It’s a little chilly out this morning! Should’ve worn a sweatshirt!

Edit: I went out and now I’m exhausted. Caleb said he’d call me back soon and he hasn’t. In fact it’s been four hours! It’s his last day at work- he’s retiring. Maybe they threw him a party?

I love that galaxy lighting @Blue_Bird! @gary290 - I'm sorry you've been having a rough time. Do you see your pdoc soon to see if anything can be done to help?

Everyone with sleep problems I hope you get better sleep tonight!

I too didn't sleep the greatest, and had a lot of problems falling asleep. I only got around 6 hr., which for me is not enough. But my day has gone well so far. I did pilates this morning, and read with the SAD lamp. I saw the pdoc, really quick appt. today, no waiting time, no med adjustments. Then I drew something a bit out of the ordinary for me, kind of a whimisical cartoon girl face. I think that was harder than a more realistic face for me to draw!

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Really sorry about everyone having sleep problems. I used to sleep terribly before my CPAP. Sometimes I have issues with it, but it's been better, I slept 10 hours last night. Thank you so much @Blueberrybook @Nammu @June08 for your hugs and concern yesterday, it was really rough.

Possible trigger:

It's like a voice, (the devil) telling me "oh, its so easy, you don't have to feel pain or hurt or cry anymore - it's so easy, just swallow all your pills and go to sleep and it will all be better"

It's so hard when it's like that and it's so interesting because I had sort of an argument with my friend yesterday about Hell. I don't really think there is one, I think it's here on Earth because of what I have faced in my life. Just because I am Catholic, doesn't mean I have to believe, my trauma and pain tell a different story.

Anyway, really excited about our Bible Study with @Blue_Bird - I love your galaxy thing! Its so cool! @June08 - really sorry about your foot, I hope its better. @Nammu - so sorry about those storms lately. @Blueberrybook, I love the portrait! So beautiful!

Today is going to be a better day, but I feel like all that cycling is giving me whiplash.