Bipolar Check-In #92

Just came up with this:

Mania—it’s all the rage

Again, problems with breathing and poor sleep last night. All day I’ve been lethargic and moody. I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m now fearful of going to bed.

Do you have sleep apnea?

The day is going okay so far. I helped out at church and had an IV fluids appointment, both of which went well. My foot has been feeling okay so I'm going to give some physical activity a try later. We'll see what else gets done on my to do list. Once I post this, I'm going to read at least a chapter of my book. I spent my IV fluids appointment, which lasts about an hour, reading as well so I'm not sure how much more reading I have in me today. But, I'll give it a try.

Mood is mostly okay so far today.

Thinking of all of you who are struggling!

I just took a shower and put on sweats and a Tshirt. It’s been a long day. I made an attempt to clean- did the dishes and took out the trash. The dirtiest stuff! Listened to music earlier and now watching Disney+ show on the behind the scenes of various Disney World attractions.

I just ate Vegemite and cheese on toast. It was so good! Given I never eat bread I’m impressed. It’s just what the doctor ordered. I’ll just stay off the scale haha.

This coming week is going to be GREAT. I have Tuesday off work because I have to take my son into the city to see his paediatrician. Takes about 2 hours to get there. Then I’ve got Wednesday off work because I’m seeing my pdoc. He’s 1.5 hours drive. The drive is okay. Could be better but could be worse. It’s on the freeway. Just hope there are no break downs making me late. I worry about that all the time when I go there. I don’t want to change pdocs because he’s known me for 5 years and he’s pretty good!

That dopamax side effect came back fast. I've been sitting here for an hour just stareing. I finally shook myself out of it but I am tired from the dramamine and Tylelenol PM. I think I'm just super tired but part of my vision is like blackish.

Topamax is just evil. And don't get me started on eating an entire can of beans. The song exists for a reason

My mom just dumped out the entire cat box because ahe thought thw cats were the issue.

I guess a whole can of beans snd GI issues don'f mix.

I'm having certain troubles with things lately and maybe its my wonky intestines causing it. I was thinking of doing internal therapy but I didnt want a hot PT sticking her finger up there. What if I got turned on or something

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 Do you have sleep apnea?

yes in addition to heart failure and copd. I use cpap. However, I did sleep a lot better last night ( thank goodness). Thx for responding

I went out last night. I'm hurt, angry, ashamed, and depressed that my friendliness was not returned. The bartender acted like i was doing something wrong. He was warm and friendly with others, just not with me.

I'm aware that people in the service sector are somewhat hostages when it comes to socializing with customers and i didn't persist in trying to chat with him when he was terse. I wish i'd asked him what was wrong.

Does anyone here know why a bartender would be cold to a good customer? (I spent over a hundred dollars.) Has anyone here worked in the service sector and could shed some light on why i was met with such rejection?

What percentage of that >$100 was in tips? That makes a big difference, at least here. If all of that was tips, server could've thought you had ulterior motives or at the least didn't see a reason to put in the effort to try to "earn" the tips, if none of it was tips he may have foresaw based on patterns with similar clientele and thought putting in the effort was hopeless from the get go.

I woke up this morning at 5 in. a lot of stomach pain. It was insane. I wasn't sure if it was muscular or the spinter. I used icy hot and took Aleeve and Dramamine I fell back asleep until 7:30 and I felt fine. I feel decent now. Just unsure of my day..

I'm still not feeling too good today. But my anxiety and feelings of hopelessness and boredom and just my mental health in general are fine again so that was for sure the topamax.

Its just this achy nauseous feeling.

They thought I had heart failure at the ER about 3 weeks ago! Boy were they busily paying attention to me. They took me right back. They thought they were going to have to do surgery! They gave me Tegretol in my IV for pain. Apparently it’s as strong as morphine but isn’t addictive. When the bloodwork came back- they must’ve marked it as STAT- they said “Good news! We don’t have to do surgery! We think the pain is your pulmonary embolism referring pain to your diaphragm which can feel like heart pain. So they sent me home!

Well my injection is lost. They said they mailed it the 28th and we haven't gotten a notice from the mail room.That's the 4-5th package they have lost. I'm so frustrated I need that medication

That really sucks!!

Tegretol? Really? Did it feel that effective? As an addict that might have to have tissue attached to my tailbone soon that makes me wish I weren't allergic to Tegretol.

I’m pretty sure that’s what the nurse said it was. But I’ve had IV morphine and know that high and the Tegretol didn’t do that at all. Just took away the pain.

I assumed it didn't have a high even IV when you said it's non-addictive, but was it as good at taking the pain away as the morphine if you took away the morphine high (if you can even compare )?

Hard to say as when I’ve had IV morphine I was in a level-10 pain situation and did get high but let’s put it this way;”: I was still in pain but didn’t care! Same with IV Fentanyl in an ambulance and that level of pain- it just took away all the pain. Didn’t get high.

I had a morphine high after I’d had my daughter via C-section. Fun times!

I’m a little nervous today. I see my new class. And because of how the timetable falls I see my new class for a DOUBLE session. That’s not meant to happen. That’s 2 hours of Humanities. That’s far too much. I’ll speak to the timetabler today and see if we can get it changed for next week. Not sure. I just hope they behave. I’m tired of my fair share of bad classes. They’re a Year 8 class. They can’t be as bad as my Year 8s. It’s not possible.

My day started earlier than my Sundays normally do because I had to work. Teachers were required to attend a specific Mass at the church connected to the school. After Mass, there was an open house for school families to come see their classrooms for the year and meet their teachers. I think the open house went well.

All summer, I've been struggling to get myself to do certain tasks (cook, put laundry away, clean, wash my hair, etc.). I'm hoping this passes soon.

Not sure what I'll do with the rest of my Sunday. I'll at least read a little bit.

Oy, I just signed up to volunteer for a music performance at a fking beer festival. Why are they holding a beer festival on the same street as the rehab is my question

The shot was found!! I find out tomorrow if I get the dog.My parents are going to pick up the dog on Tuesday. My H wants me to do in person training with a group which freaks me out.I don't go out, especially by myself. That sounds daunting.I'm not doing the best. hopefully I get better soon. I see pdoc tomorrow. T Tuesday.and get my teeth Wednesday. H works Tuesday, Thursday, Friday.

I told myself I wouldnt work out but then I put on a lidcaine patch and felt better and I thought "well..."

I was a bit crabby today but it wasn'rt terrible. Its funny how much frozen and fridge food I eat.

My mom made me a budget since I tend to spend a lot. I get $100 a week in groceries. And one $10 coffee a day. She subtracted all my expense like therapy and rent Spotify, and an apple app. After that theres enough to either put in my savings or buy something I might need. That is also for the copays for my doctors.

So its a decent budget. My surgery and hospital stay could wipe out everything though

I finally realized certain foods I just can't do because swallowing them is too hard and they get stuck and then it becomes a disastor. Mainly meats and other chewey things. I had pumpkin apple sauce for dinner which was fine.

Why does everything suck so much. I don't think we can afford a dog but honestly I'm not sure I'm safe alone. It'll take a long time to train her for what I need. We wanted to wait until things we're more stable but I just want to sleep but I can't, not forever or anything just until this passes. I feel nothing but so close to tears. I want off medication I don't like this halfway ****. I'm worried I'll neglect the puppy because it takes effort.

MD Where tf you getting coffee that ONE is $10?????!!! I thought I lived next to a super fancy coffee shop and I think the most expensive thing on their menu is like $6. If I "splurge" and get dunkins that's like $3 ("splurging" by my standards anyway, I usually make my own and get like 3 months worth of black coffee for $15, and maybe 2-3x a year I'll get a flavored creamer on sale for $3 which lasts me like two weeks)

I'm just shocked haha