Had a really upsetting yet wonderful thing happen yesterday. My partner decided its time to get help for her eating disorder I'm so proud of her but at the same time I hate not having her around because she's my only support that's always there and actually understands what I'm trying to say ( I have a hard time explaining myself and my feelings) I'm so happy she's getting the help she needs but I'm really worried of what I'll do while I'm alone..
I'm so nervous of being alone that I won't even stay in the apartment, I'm sleeping at my parents house until she gets out and can come home with me. I have lots of people offering to help me with money and offering to be there for me, but they don't understand what I'm like and even when I do try to talk to them they don't understand what I'm trying to say at all.
All and all though its going to be a very good thing for my partner and I'm very proud of her, now its just time for me to follow through with getting the help I need

[DianaCW91]

My P doctor passed away from cancer back in April... While I live in a medium sized city there was only 2 P doctors with practices and about a month before my P doctor passed the other retired. Have not seen anyone since April... not feeling good.. in any way...

But on a brighter note I finally, after 2.5 years of suffering, have an appointment with a surgeon to have my gallbladder removed.

[regretful]

Again, slightly less miserable...maybe the medication is starting to have some therapeutic effect.

[bluedolphin92]

For a few days, I actually felt...not so bad. I wouldn't say I was "happy", but I certainly wasn't as down as I had been. Now I'm right back where I was before.

I messaged one of my friends from high school and suggested we get together sometime. She agreed, but she hasn't messaged me for awhile, despite the fact that she's been on Facebook and communicating with others. I can't help but think that maybe she's ignoring me on purpose. I feel so alone and unwanted.

[turquoise4]

I'm a little freaked out right now.

[regretful]

Today I am fatigued; worried about the massive obligations that I have with the business that I own. It is the anxiety that comes along with depression. I do hope that the medication takes the edge off just a little bit...

[BlackCat13]

Today is a down day. I have a friend who is much older than me and we frequently keep in contact with each other. I mostly enjoy talking to him but I hate it at the same time. He says that I shouldn't feel guilty when I tell him depressing things about me, but I do. I just want all my problems to go away so he won't try to have the convo centered on me when he asks how I'm doing. I just wish I could be a happy normal girl.

[konrei]

Feeling fine today though I a little tired but not going to stop that...

I feel so good right now...I only had to take 1/4 of a pill, I did my deep breathing and affirmations in the car on the way and faced one of my big triggers (a gigantic mall, and specifically, going to N*******m).

I felt depressed when I left (as usual), but I made it. And I got a great body butter sample so I didn't feel totally deprived and less-than. I think that's what helped.

But on the flip side, I did it, and I didn't freak, AND I was able to come back to work without feeling like a total failure.

I know it sounds silly and small but this is huge for me.

[regretful]

It is so much better when I am home; meds are working because I'm not crying all the time, but I'm also feeling unmotivated and numb about everything...and when I get to my office, the misery begins again. I really think my life will be better when I don't have this business obligation anymore.

((((Regretful))))

[MotherMarcus]

Not really a bad week, just long. Hugs all around for everybody.

[agma]

I have been pretty down lately. Work has been super stressful, but it should ease up soon. I went to visit my parents and my in-laws last weekend. I survived the visit, and now I don't have to worry about visiting them again for a while. I just wish my mood would improve...and that I would stop gaining weight (I hate Abilify)

[pandarama123456789]

Went into a little rage last night and hurt my hand and head. I'm not feeling too good, I'm all spaced out and feel alone. Been talking with Marie more and that makes me a bit happy that she hasnt gone away, I havent really heard her voice in a while. I don't want her to ever go away, she holds my happiness and I really need her right now because I'm feeling so alone and bleeh.

[Hellion]

Well I pretty much hate my life...I went to the local mental health center thing though and decided to see if that will help any. I honestly am not very hopeful about it but I guess it's a start of something.

[konrei]

Somewhat a good week but tired as usual...

[MyBrainHurts]

I wish I wasn't so weird and was somewhat of a normal person.

[regretful]

Miserable...

[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by konrei

Previous is closed due to 100 page limit so starting again. Same thing as the always.

Still feeling down since yesterday, going to look something to make me happy.

I being havin a hard time. in hospital on my vacation! it was not the therapy i thought it would be. was in a bad place in my mind. missed goin To PC.

[MotherMarcus]

Originally Posted by MyBrainHurts

I wish I wasn't so weird and was somewhat of a normal person.

What's wrong with weird ? It's normal that defies definition.

meh. not great.

[ba.ll.oo.n]

I took a pill later on Thursday and I'm feeling crappy today. After two months of straight good mood. I know that an occasional bad day is normal but this looks like the old hell I went through. All those doubts and dark thoughts have popped up for a visit again. And it feels like they've always been there just under the surface and they will come back once I've gone off meds. I'm trying to keep being rational and hope it will pass soon.

[Shadow-world]

Originally Posted by MotherMarcus

What's wrong with weird ? It's normal that defies definition.

Besides, normal is relative. What is somebody's, one group's, one society's, one country's norm, is another person's, group's etc. aberration.

[AngelWolf3]

*sigh* Just laying in bed all day. You would think it would be great, but can't seem to get out of this funk I'm in. (will leave it at that, don't want to be too much of a downer)

[Shadow-world]

Shutting myself away again in contrast to the first few months of this year.
But I'm trying to be good to myself even if it doesn't involve being with other people much. I'm trying to be okay. Need time to pick up. And possibly a hug - a virtual one would be fine.