No motivation....

I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder but I believe that I have bipolar bc I don't have the symptoms of schizophrenia, such as hallucinations or delusions or disorganized/incoherent thinking. I have had two manic episodes in the past 3years but have been generally suffering from depression since childhood. Currently I have been severely depressed for about a year. I experience general anxiety and moderate to severe panic attacks throughout the day. I am on prozac...first on 20mg for 3weeks and then on 40mg for a few days till now....the med is yet to take effect. I am also on lamotrigine(mood stabiliser) and buspar(anxiolytic) that makes me calm and less irritable.

I feel unmotivated and disinterested to do anything. Every day seems like a drudge.

There's no hobby that I enjoy. I used to love going out to malls to watch movies and/or do shopping/window shopping but now getting out of the house seems almost impossible and even if I manage to go out I feel extremely uncomfortable the whole time.

I force myself to do things like watch a soap opera on tv, watch a movie on netflix, listen to music, read a story book or write...hoping that these would become a habit one day and maybe some day I'll get to like them bc a long time back I used to enjoy doing them....

Is there anything else I can do to get back my motivation?

Hi. Yes, I understand about leaving the house making you extremely uncomfortable. Can you still go for a small walk, maybe to the park and back, or around the block? It might help to boost your motivation in the long term. I actually walk quite a lot even if it drives me nuts, I don't care anymore, but it's hard. So, that helps me in other small ways too. Walking.

Right now it seems impossible as I m getting panic attacks throughout the day and they intensify when I try to go out. Still I'll try...maybe not today...but after a few days.

Hey there! I am addicted to motivation as if it a drug to escape from my trauma. So I am super excited about a new idea and then suddenly it starts to fade with my energy, by the morning I feel super tired just after waking up. I found out personally going out helps well. You may end up questioning yourself "What if I get humiliated, embarrassed, mugged etc.?" but none of it will most probably happen. In my experience.

Thanks I can go out...I m not afraid of being judged or humiliated...apart from the lack of motivation, it's the panic attacks that are preventing me mostly from going out...and there's absolutely no psychological/social reason for them...they happen throughout the day and intensify when I try to go out.....when i get them my chest pains and my whole body trembles and there's a burning and numb sensation...it feels as if I m being electrocuted...it's so exhausting and horrifying at the same time.

Panic attacks, hmm. It might be best to see a doctor first about stopping those panic attacks Desiree2006. Then the motivation will slowly begin to return, I'm sure of it. Hang in there though, you'll get through it.

Thanks!
I am taking an anxiolytic for general anxiety but not anything specifically for the panic attacks. I have talked to my pdoc, he is not comfortable prescribing me benzos. And anyways, I have had them before and they didn't help much with the panic attacks. I try to tolerate them...that's all I can do.

Wow, hang in there my friend. Yes, hopefully these panic attacks will subside soon. I believe they will.

I hope it all turns out well for you. I have each and every symptom of anxiety and I sometimes feel like I am a textbook of it. Never had (or at least realized I am suffering from) panic attacks, but I think exercising should work. Benzos are very harmful (they sometimes increase anxiety) so that's why your psychdoc didn't prescribe you benzos.

You know there are times when I m lying in bed kind of paralysed .... not being able to move my spine to get up...I can only move my fingers and neck....there are times when I can't literally get up(and it's not psychological) and feel immobile even when I need to go to the bathroom. wtf is this! I m really frustrated. I wonder if I have some other disease that affects the spine and the muscles. I know exercise helps but if it goes on like this how the hell am I going to exercise or go out!
But I thank you and everybody else for your support. At least I can vent here and get responses. I can feel that some people do care.

Sorry you're suffering, Desiree.

There's a self-help book that's been mentioned by others a few times on PC, and I also found it to really good. It's called 'Self-Help for Your Nerves' by Dr Clare Weekes. Her own life was devastated by panic attacks. Some of the things she suggests have an almost instant effect.

I have szaffective too with bipolar. I know how you feel that at times you feel unmotivated. I feel this way too at times. I think it is because I am stressed out or depressed. I don't have anxiety attacks. I realized that if I rest or just do nothing for awhile then I get bored and want to do something later. So, it is like a cycle from doing nothing then too much activity resulting in stress then doing nothing etc. Thus, balance is the key. I now do a little bit of this and that and am happy. I still become apathetic from getting excited and doing too much. I have to watch myself. You should have seen me this past weekend. I slept almost 24 hours but finally woke up. I was exhausted. Living with a mental illness makes it difficult to undertake too much stress from work or other situations. I think that knowing your limitations and balancing one's life is key to stability and happiness. I am sorry I am rambling and not making much sense. I hope you find your key to happiness too.

I do have spurts of activity in the brain when I feel a little normal....which if long enough let me get up and do a little bit till I have the next brain shutdown or the next panic attack. So that's how I m surviving. Waiting for that good moment...doing whatever I can do within that time....then lying down again and tolerating the pain till the next good moment arrives.
It's very frustrating!
God knows if I m fighting world war 3 or what!!! Jokes apart, I have to be as brave as a soldier and take everything as a challenge and not give up. I am wounded...yes...but still I am a soldier!

[QUOTE=Purple,Violet,Blue;6156779]Sorry you're suffering, Desiree.

There's a self-help book that's been mentioned by others a few times on PC, and I also found it to really good. It's called 'Self-Help for Your Nerves' by Dr Clare Weekes. Her own life was devastated by panic attacks. Some of the things she suggests have an almost instant effect.[/QUOTE

Thanks Purple! But my brain's not working much right now so that I have difficulty processing information....understanding or remembering what I read. So I won't be able to understand that book. It's a shame but that's how it is.

I am so sorry you have to go through this.

I suffer from the same condition. Talking about study books, I cannot comprehend what I am reading. I mean, I do read it like a newspaper but it doesn't go right into my memory. It's hard to accept because I wanted to be a doctor.

And I had wanted to study biopsychology. Hugs to you.

I wanted to study in USA - Univ of Pennsylvania. But now it's not possible. It's ok.I can adjust.I don't have any other option I need to accept the fact that all dreams don't come true. But I will still believe that I will be happy and normal again. And it's going to happen soon.

I wanted to get into AIIMS.

omg! are you from India?

I am... I didn't mention it because earlier I did on some other forum and got bullied. Don't mention it since then.

Did you imagine me as

Oh ok. Sorry to hear that.

[QUOTE=Desiree2006;6156805]OK, no problem. I seem to keep pressing this book on you. I'll stop now!

Big hugs.

No worries. I am doing fine now.

You're scaring me....though I m an Indian I m scared to interact with Asians. There are reasons but I can't tell you. Anyways tc