[Rose60]

I was in good mood when I woke up this morning, but the day has turned into a sad one. You know when one event triggers events from your past and you are so overwhelmed that you are not able to stop the flow of past hurting events.

That's how I feel now! Hope to be able to use tools to stop this flow of old hurting memories tomorrow. For now I will try to find something to distract and then start anew tomorrow. I am usually good to use psychological tools, but this day I wasn't able.

We are going to have a family gathering this weekend, so I need to be as good as possible to not disappoint the others. That is very important for me!

If somebody pass by and read this, they hopefully have the time to give me an online (((((HUG))))).

[Rose60]

Doublepost, Deleated.

[cool09]

Have anhedonia, as usual. I can't find anything enjoyable. My depression is gone.

Feeling extremely depressed today. I cancelled my trip that I planned to go on. Now I feel like there's absolutely nothing in my life to look forward to. I didn't think things could get this bad.

[Mountaindewed]

Its hard to tell whats what. I am sick and then I am dealing with my therapist leaving at the same time and then the seasonal stuff is starting.

[Deilla]

I'm depressed and lonely.

[Rose76]

I've been doing well. Today I had no motivation and did nothing. But I expect I won't repeat that tomorrow.

I haven't been able to get on this web site with my new phone. So I have to dig out my old phone. That's why I haven't been on much. Plus I've been busy doing stuff because I've been in good spirits.

I see many posters above are feeling down. I've been there. I hope things turn around for you.

I was planning to go on a longer ride on my bike than usual. It's been a while since I've taken a longer ride. But now the weather is wet and not appealing. Oh well.

I've been feeling down a whole lot lately. Maybe it's because I'm going through some minor griefs. The griefs are loses I've experienced that have been caused by me and it makes me feel horrible. I let go of the only friend I had and then cancelled a trip. It all happened at once.

Another thing with me is I feel like I'm putting forth efforts to better my life and self. I'm coming up empty in my efforts. It's like I'm coming up to bat and striking out all of the time. It seems like other people I'm seeing are doing OK but maybe they're not.

[Rose60]

I am not so sure that this forum is the right one for me. I like it best when I can participate in like-minded relationships, where concern for each other flows back and forth.

I didn't feel that that was what happened on this thread. (My feelings are my own and nobody can protest about that). After all I was relatively new here when one person wanted to discuss "the chicken and the egg" related to the form of therapy I had chosen for myself and another indirectly accused me for being rude! I am not easily offended, but I need some feelings of being among like-mided people. I did not feel that here.

Actually I feel fine, now (beneath the level of mild depression) and have positive expectations for the rest of Authumn and for the Winter.

I will keep my membership just in case, but you cannot expect to see me here often. Send my best hopes for those of you continuing to stay here!

[MimiBhaduri0]

Originally Posted by Rose60

I am not so sure that this forum is the right one for me. I like it best when I can participate in like-minded relationships, where concern for each other flows back and forth.

I didn't feel that that was what happened on this thread. (My feelings are my own and nobody can protest about that). After all I was relatively new here when one person wanted to discuss "the chicken and the egg" related to the form of therapy I had chosen for myself and another indirectly accused me for being rude! I am not easily offended, but I need some feelings of being among like-mided people. I did not feel that here.

Actually I feel fine, now (beneath the level of mild depression) and have positive expectations for the rest of Authumn and for the Winter.

I will keep my membership just in case, but you cannot expect to see me here often. Send my best hopes for those of you continuing to stay here!

I will miss you Rose60.

I did it again. I just let me ex-friend back into my life. He seems happy to be back with me. One good reason why I got back together with him was because I felt like I'm in trouble. The one thing he's always been good at is being able to make me feel better when troubles come my way. It's hard for me to deal with difficulties alone.

I felt bad when I heard the jets taking off from the airport this morning because it could have be me on board. As of now it's kind of a good thing I didn't leave home because something has come up all of a sudden and I feel that I should be here to take care of it. At least it's better to feel bad about myself cancelling the trip and taking care of what I have to than to have gone away and have disaster happen, or find out something disastrous happened when I get home and have to deal with it.

[Rose76]

@will19 - I'm glad you rekindled the connection with your ex-friend, if he's able to be supportive when times are trying. Sounds like you have a significant history together. Your bond with him may have it's limitations. I've had a few friendships like that, where I had to adjust my expectations, so as not to be chronically disappointed. But there was still value in keeping the connections going. I hope your difficult situation resolves soon in a favorable manner.

I, myself, am hanging in there. Been doing my pre-holiday cleaning of my place. I feel pretty good, but I have to push myself. I'm inclined to spend too much time in my recliner, surfing the net.

Originally Posted by Rose76

@will19 - I'm glad you rekindled the connection with your ex-friend, if he's able to be supportive when times are trying. Sounds like you have a significant history together. Your bond with him may have it's limitations. I've had a few friendships like that, where I had to adjust my expectations, so as not to be chronically disappointed. But there was still value in keeping the connections going. I hope your difficult situation resolves soon in a favorable manner.

Thank you, Rose. In the last few years it's been like that between he and I. We go along OK and then he starts nagging; and it's hard for me to take. So that's when I end up letting him go. He's all that I have as a local friend. After I let him go, I feel so alone. It's not bad for me being alone but it's hard when trouble(s) happen. So in the last few years, it's been that way. I let him go and then I take him back because of troubles. He's always been good at comforting me during those times. But I'm not crazy about him nagging out of the blue at me.

Oh and by the way, as of now, a minor ordeal (and they are a big deal to me) that has happened recently has been successfully resolved. I feel a big sense of relief now.

Quote from Rose76[I]I, myself, am hanging in there. Been doing my pre-holiday cleaning of my place. I feel pretty good, but I have to push myself. I'm inclined to spend too much time in my recliner, surfing the net.

That sounds like me now. I have another event coming up that I have some anxiety about. There will be an apartment inspection coming up on Friday. I hope it comes out well. I'm anxious about it.

[TheGal]

I have so much to do that I just feel, literally, dizzy... I am overwhelmed.

Yesterday, I slept a lot...

Clearly, it's avoidance...

[Rose76]

I'm in a slump. It's not deep, but I'm wasting a lot of time . . . vegetating in my recliner in front of the TV. It's not like I'm even enjoying myself. Watching TV feels so much better when it's after I've gotten something accomplished.

It's been a wonky week. On Monday I had a plumber come in to look at a leak, but it didn't seem necessary since I had fixed it myself beforehand. It worked out well with that plumber, but I hated waiting for him and having a stranger in my place. And then today there was an apartment inspection. I was not looking forward to it, but it went alright. Still I hate having people in my place that I don't want, even though they are nice.

I had cancelled my trip a week ago. It turned out it was a good thing since weird stuff was happening in my place. At least I was in full control of things in staying home; while if I had been away, things would have been wrong and I would have looked bad.

Also I had an incident when the local utility company sent me an email yesterday saying that my check payment had insufficient funds. I had enough money in my checking account to cover it. And I went to my bank and they said that the utility company did not even attempt to cash my check. I called the utility company, explaining the whole thing, and they were no help. I was so mad I reported them to the BBB. This has happened to me by the utility company before. And then they'd have the nerve to charge me $7 for an adjustment fee and it was never my fault this happened.

[Sunflower123]

I’m going to start posting here as well as my usual spot as my diagnosis is in question and I exclusively deal with depression. It might possibly be major depressive disorder treatment resistant. I believe I’ve had passing hugs or comments with many of the folks on this forum.

I had a great visit with my therapist yesterday. She validated what I was thinking and feeling and made things crystal clear for me. I see now. Deep down I think I always did. I have tremendous opportunity coming my way if I choose to look at it like that. I choose yes.

We went to see Ticket to Paradise yesterday. George Clooney and Julia Roberts were hysterical. It was a good movie. Of course I came home and immediately started figuring out how to make Bali happen. It’s stunning. Don’t scoff. Most of the places I’ve traveled seemed out of my reach. Russia most of all. Where there’s a will….

We were heading out to go to the apple orchard and pumpkin patch today but after the discussion on the forum last night, we’ll be getting flu shots instead. We’re (my loved ones) all in agreement that we don’t want a bout of flu to knock mom out of seeing her sisters next weekend. Particularly the one sick with cancer. We have a family reunion next summer. I’d sure love to see her there.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day. Much love.

[Deilla]

I've been crying a lot lately, but today is better.

A busy day today somewhat and unexpectedly, even though I didn't have much lined up that I had to do. I was going to go on a longer bike ride today and I hadn't done that in a long while. But once again I decided to just go on a one-hour ride. It was too warm and the sun was too bright today for me.

I'm feeling relatively alright. No matter how great things could be (things are so-so or mediocre now, which is much better than having it bad), I still wrestle with having racing thoughts in bed in the morning before getting out. It's like a windmill in a hurricane in my head.

[Violetta75]

Originally Posted by will19

A busy day today somewhat and unexpectedly, even though I didn't have much lined up that I had to do. I was going to go on a longer bike ride today and I hadn't done that in a long while. But once again I decided to just go on a one-hour ride. It was too warm and the sun was too bright today for me.

I'm feeling relatively alright. No matter how great things could be (things are so-so or mediocre now, which is much better than having it bad), I still wrestle with having racing thoughts in bed in the morning before getting out. It's like a windmill in a hurricane in my head.

I hope advice is ok here, whether you find any of it helps you or not, i don't know.
Have you tried meet up groups to find more friends where you live? Are you happier alone or with other people around? It sounds a bit like you enjoy your own company but sometimes need some support, at least a friend that supports you the same as you would them. I'm introverted, and sometimes people think i'm being 'stuck up' but it's because I love my privacy but also only like to have one or two close friends... Have you ever tried some medications for anxiety or depression? I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

[Violetta75]

I'm staying with someone for a bit, they went to bed early because of a trip tomorrow, so I'm wide awake, trying to be quiet so they get some sleep. I really want my very own place but it's not realistic to expect that anymore. i've been through a lot lately, and it's taking a toll on my physidal health as well and mental.

Originally Posted by Violetta75

I hope advice is ok here, whether you find any of it helps you or not, i don't know.
Have you tried meet up groups to find more friends where you live? Are you happier alone or with other people around? It sounds a bit like you enjoy your own company but sometimes need some support, at least a friend that supports you the same as you would them. I'm introverted, and sometimes people think i'm being 'stuck up' but it's because I love my privacy but also only like to have one or two close friends... Have you ever tried some medications for anxiety or depression? I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

I went through this with someone else on here recently and it didn't go well. I tried everything I could but nothing worked. Getting unsolicited advice for me is more hurtful than helpful.

[Violetta75]

Originally Posted by will19

I went through this with someone else on here recently and it didn't go well. I tried everything I could but nothing worked. Getting unsolicited advice for me is more hurtful than helpful.

My bad. I'm sorry that it didn't help. I thought it was ok to post here,and if this thread isn't the right place to post I'll post elsewhere.

[Mountaindewed]

I think I'm getting the seasonal depression stuff at night again. But after my surgery and along with some med changes I'm handling it better and I don't get into crisis situations the way I would back in 2020 and early 2021. Basically nights are just long especially if I have partial insomnia, and theres only so many times I can listen to the same 20 songs on my phone. The depression seems to be mostly a night thing.

[Breaking Dawn]

Sometimes the sadness hurts a lot. It's hurting a little bit right now. Oh, well.