eating disorder's daily check in spot

Triggering material should always have a trigger icon and/or use of the trigger code that would hide triggering posting. I know it's not always something we think about, but it would be very helpful to all members if we tried to remember to use those 2 things.

It's also important for members that get triggered to do their best self care as well. If this thread is too much for you right now, go ahead and take a break from it. It's okay to do that. Stick with the other threads in the forum if need be.

If you think that something posted is outside of our Community Guidelines, please use the "report post" icon and let the Team know about the post.

I hope this has been helpful to you Iguanadon!

What kinds of things are considered triggering in this thread. I know calorie counts are out but I don't know exactly what else. Also I usually post from tapatalk on my phone and I don't know how to do trigger tags on my phone. Is there a html code that I can just memorize?

im so very disappointed as I can't get down to my goal weight which I reached a few months back. I'm only a few llbs short but it just won't shift, I'm angry with myself.
My goal isn't an unrealistic weight and it's not dangerously low, I won't be happy until I reach my goal. I'm either too big and fat or too skinny, just wanna stay at goal weight and not gain or loose. X

Struggling a lot.

I'm starting partial hospitalization tomorrow morning. Insurance is only wiling to cover it week by week, but at least it's a start. I'm really worried about doing this, though. I'm overweight. I know ED aren't about weight, rather they are about behaviors and feelings, but I know I'll be the largest one there. That scares me. I'm afraid that people will think that I'm faking. Maybe everything really is in my head.

When it comes to going to treatment, every person is the largest one there, if that makes sense. I've been the largest one in treatment plenty of times, every time, in fact!!
Good luck with the php program, I hope it helps you!

I'm considering a php program myself, but am currently struggling with some major ambivalence. I'm very fearful of weight gain.

I understand that. I'm dealing with a lot of it myself. I mostly just feel guilty, though because now I know what the 'right' thing is and what's 'wrong'. Its just so much easier to keep doing the 'wrong'.

Super anxious today because I feel like I ate too much, but I know I really didn't.

I hate insurance and EDs!! I have the opportunity to go to a program 6 days a week 8 hours a day, however I have private insurance and Medicaid as secondary. The problem is that I have to quit my job, thus losing my insurance and the program doesn't accept Medicaid. I am so discouraged that there is no help for me. I am down to eating a snack each day and drinking enough water to get my meds down. I feel like giving up.

Thanks for the encouragement, Iguanadon. It means a lot.

Two days down with the PHP program. It's hard. Even on an adjusted meal plan (which they give you the first few days), I'm struggling with the feelings of fullness and uncomfortableness. I'm kinda in a tough place right now because I don't know how long I'll be able to stay here. I'm afraid of letting everything go and be raw in programing just to have it ripped away from me and me to be left trying to deal with the pieces all alone.

butterfli, can you go on disability leave?

I haven't been with the company long enough. Only 6 months. No FMLA or disability leave.

I'm sorry butterfli.

Ugh. Have been feeling gross recently. The end of the semester (college) was very stressful and I ate poorly and put on weight. I am home now which can be difficult because I am not always in control. Very nervous about summer because it is always so triggering. I work at a pool so to watch people walk around in bikinis all day and to have to wear a bathing suit myself is awful. I feel so self conscious all the time. Even shorts and short sleeves are hard for me. Any suggestions for dealing with the warm weather and skimpier clothing? Or body comparing?

Sometimes I wish we could wear blinders, like horses.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful/serious. I have issues with this, too. I think everyone body compares though, ED or not. It's so engrained in our culture, you know?

Haven't been eating as much as I should and have been "saving" my calories for having a beer or two at the end of the day. My weekendweekends are the hardest because I don't have the guaranteed free dinner from the chef at my job. That's at least one solid meal. I worry about how little protein I get on my weekends and how that might be affecting my school performance. So i ate a giant protein bar this morning to hopefully help think during my statistics exam in a few hours.

I do the same thing when I drink alcohol . . . I restrict more but then by the time I want to drink I feel kinda like crap from not eating! STUPID ED. Ugh I hate it so much.
Also, protein bars are awesome, I usually have one for a snack every night. I swear that's how I manage to stay so healthy.

Yeah protein bars are great. They have a lot of nutrition. And calories. I get the super high protein ones with 20 or more grams of protein. Sometimes I can't finish one in one day but I usually can in two days.

This weekend (tuesday Wednesday Thursday) I basically ate salad and drank a couple beers just like I thought I would. But I have work today so I will get a solid meal today as long as my chef doesn't flake out like he has been lately. Sometimes he'll save me a salad but it has massive chunks of cold salmon and soggy asparagus and hardly any lettuce and no dressing. To me that is NOT a good salad. The fish is just eww.

Going out for a meal in a few weeks...for the entire month I've been basically living off liquids and rice cakes. I'm still as fat as ever, that's for sure. And this is just gonna make me fatter :/ I'm not sure if I wanna do it now...even though I've checked the menu and already decided what I'm gonna have lol.

Also next week I think my sister's gonna have this mars bar fondue with me or something. Again, terrifying. But I really wanna try it too. Sigh the conflict is overwhelming.

My boss offered me a cookie at work today... I felt so rude turning it down.

I ate the hugest salad in the world last night at a bar after work with my work friends. It had eggs bacon two giant cups of blue cheese dressing and I can't even remember what else bit it looked like more than I eat in a week. I didn't finish all of it but I did pretty well all things considered. I'm just worried I gained 5 lbs last night. I wad too scared to get on the scale this morning. I'm not going to weigh myself until I can work this off.

Anorexia is not my only problem and im tired of it being focused on.

It might not be your only problem, but it could be the problem that kills you the quickest if it is not addressed.

I ate enough yesterday but feeling bad about it and don't like what the scale told me today. That's two days in a row of eating "enough". And I've about had enough of it.

Memorial Day BBQ tomorrow means food and family. Two stressful things I wish I could avoid, but I can't let myself be the party pooper.

I'm so very very sick and tired of the medically dangerous (in Dr's eyes, not mine) of the things I feel I am forced to do to maintain my lowish weight. These things don't even make me loose any weight, mearly stay the same and I do these things alongside severe restriction. Doing these things cause me painful agony for some hours of the evening, yet I can't and wont stop. Told my GP as my psych Dr refuses to see me stating I'm discharged from her books, end of. GP is lovely but diddnt re~refer me back to psych Dr again, said come back in two weeks. I'm also depressed due to my Dad passing away two weeks ago, I'm about to be homeless and my ED of 30 plus years is adding to my depression. I'm about to throw the towel in on everything, staying thin is literally killing me, however, I'm NOT about to die fat!!!!! Xxxx