[the1forgotten]

*sigh*

My first real therapy appointment is coming up ever so quickly and I'm scared. I don't want to go. I'm not ready.

[Amazonmom]

I said that for a long time. I don't want to go, I'm not ready, it won't help anything.

I had no idea what to expect. What I would say.

I am so glad I started therapy. It's incredibly hard. But I enjoy it at the same time. My T says I am capable of getting to a healthy place that I never thought possible. That means dealing with some seriously bad garbage from my past that likes to hang around and haunt me. But what if this therapy stuff really works? I have to know the answer to that question, and that is why I go to therapy.

Originally Posted by the1forgotten

*sigh*

My first real therapy appointment is coming up ever so quickly and I'm scared. I don't want to go. I'm not ready.

[the1forgotten]

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

I said that for a long time. I don't want to go, I'm not ready, it won't help anything.

I had no idea what to expect. What I would say.

I am so glad I started therapy. It's incredibly hard. But I enjoy it at the same time. My T says I am capable of getting to a healthy place that I never thought possible. That means dealing with some seriously bad garbage from my past that likes to hang around and haunt me. But what if this therapy stuff really works? I have to know the answer to that question, and that is why I go to therapy.

Thank you for the response. I wish I could just do it in my own time, when I'm ready but I'm being forced into it. I'm so scared to deal with the garbage. I don't want to show emotions and I'm not ready to learn to show and feel emotions, to let the garbage surface. I would be willing to leave the question of weather therapy works for me or not unanswered at this point.

[fallenangel337]

I completely understand where you're coming from...and it totally sucks to be forced into therapy. Believe me, I was in the exact same position as you are. I wasn't ready to open up to anyone, show emotion, or anything like that.

Now, I've been in therapy for two years, and honestly, it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Although I wish the circumstances were different to get me to go, I'm glad I did go.

Just go in with an open mind. Don't expect anything amazing to happen, but don't expect anything detrimental, either.

[Lifsuks]

Originally Posted by the1forgotten

*sigh*

My first real therapy appointment is coming up ever so quickly and I'm scared. I don't want to go. I'm not ready.

Hi the1forgotten,
Take comfort in the fact that I think most of us went thro' those same feelings of fear and doubt too. However, in my case, I elected to go to T. pretty much voluntarily. It took me approximately 3-1/2 months of agonizing to accept the fact that I may be Depressed. My chiropractor was the one who suspected it and referred me to my T. after giving me a depression test. I wasn't convinced. I never in my life would have thought I was D. But, after doing a lot of research on my own, well, it seems I fit the symptoms. I still agonized over going because of the stigma attached and the fact that I couldn't tell a complete stranger my horrible secrets that I couldn't even tell my family or friends (whom I still haven't told that I'm seeing a T!). Well, all that agonizing made me more depressed and I finally mustered up the guts to ask my chiro for the phone number. It took another week to get myself to call the number and today, I'm glad I did. Unfortunately, you are being forced to go, but I'm sure, with the right T., you will not regret it. I feel so much better now with someone objective to talk to and knowing why I was feeling the way I do. I still have a long way to go (been just a couple of months), it hasn't been easy, but at least I know there is someone to listen to me and not make me feel bad for feeling bad. I hope this works out for the best for you and you have a very positive and emotionally beneficial experience. Take care...

[KUREHA]

How did it go?
Why are you being forced to go?

See how it goes though - maybe it will help

[the1forgotten]

Tomorrow is the day. I'm still fearing it. I really am trying to go into it with an open mind. I can see me driving to the office tomorrow and not going in, totally backing out. *sigh* we shall see tomorrow. I will let you all know how it goes. Thanks for the encouraging words.

(((((((((((((((the1forgotten))))))))))))))))))

As my therapist often tells me when I am dreading something..."just show up". That's all you have to do. I bet most people going to therapy for the first time are scared - I know I was. But it really has turned out to be one of the best things I've done for myself. I hope it's a positive experience for you too.

Will you come back and let us know how it goes??

[the1forgotten]

Originally Posted by treehouse

(((((((((((((((the1forgotten))))))))))))))))))

As my therapist often tells me when I am dreading something..."just show up". That's all you have to do. I bet most people going to therapy for the first time are scared - I know I was. But it really has turned out to be one of the best things I've done for myself. I hope it's a positive experience for you too.

Will you come back and let us know how it goes??

Thank you very much for the reply, it's good to know that showing up is all I really have to do first. I hope that I am brave enough to do at least that. I sure hope it's positive to cause if it isn't, I more then likely won't go back I will definitely come back and let you all know how it went. Thanks again.

[Lifsuks]

Originally Posted by the1forgotten

Thank you very much for the reply, it's good to know that showing up is all I really have to do first. I hope that I am brave enough to do at least that. I sure hope it's positive to cause if it isn't, I more then likely won't go back I will definitely come back and let you all know how it went. Thanks again.

Hey there,
Good luck on your first session! Yeah it's scary. I too wanted to "run away". Too much thinking about it almost made me jump into my car and leave. Somehow, I ended up in the elevator instead and into my T.'s office (must have been my guardian angel holding my hand!). Try not thinking too much about it and don't go too early or you may end up running away too. That first session may be uncomfortable because you may not have much to say but I'm pretty sure you will feel a lot better later; you're taking that first BIG step, but not all on your own; we all will be right there with you!

[sittingatwatersedge]

(((((((((((((( the 1 )))))))))))))

I can't call you the 1 forgotten, as we have not forgotten you. how you doing today? hope all is well.

[the1forgotten]

Today was a very long day. I was worried all day for the appointment and went to go get my cast removed just to find out i need it on for 4 more weeks. I was not happy about that. Then when i got out of there I realized that I had time to kill before therapy. I tried to get my mind off of it by going to the book store. By the time I made it to the therapists office I had to take double my dose of xanax. I was so scared. I started the appointment okay, talking a little here and there. answering yes or no questions for the most part. Then she got to one question that made me shut down. I told her that I didn't want to come back. She scheduled me for 3 more appointments and the next one is two weeks away so that I can 'think' about going back. I told her I was going to just cancel them but she tried to convince me that she really really wanted me to come back. It was horrible and now I'm in a really bad place, it's making me scared.

[cantstopcrying]

I'm so proud of you for going. What a hard day you had. I know you feel like you are, but you aren't alone.

[fallenangel337]

I am also proud of you for sticking it out and going!

I know it's NEVER easy, but I would like to encourage you to stick it out, and don't give up just yet. I would talk to your T and tell her that you're not comfortable discussing whatever topic her unwanted question was about yet. I think in time, you will find it easier to make progress, and maybe even in time, easier to discuss that particular issue. Perhaps in 2 weeks you two could discuss what you wrote here, and the reason you don't want to go back.

You've already made a huge leap...the first session is always the hardest. It's not a landslide from here, but the hardest part is over.

Again, I'm really proud of you, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.

[Lifsuks]

Hi the1..,
Yes, you are the1-who DID IT! You made it through the first session and you deserve a big hug and a pat on the back! I'm sorry it didn't go as well as you may have wanted it to, but please don't give up yet. 2 weeks is a long time to think about your next appt., but I am hopeful that you will still go. We're all behind you 100%, just pretend we're right there with you holding your hand evey step of the way!

(((((((((((((((((((((((the1)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You did it!!!!!!!!

YOU are in charge of your therapy. You don't have to talk about anything that you don't want to talk about, until YOU are ready. Know that and hang on to it.

In two weeks, you just need to do what you did yesterday...show up. I know it's hard to imagine how therapy will help -it was for me - but by showing up and trusting the process, my life has changed in ways I couldn't have imagined.

Sorry about your cast...that stinks!!!

You did a hard thing yesterday. Be extra gentle with you.

[purplebutterfly]

I know you feel like you are unable to go to the next appointment..give it another try, maybe next time things will be a little easier and if she wanted you to come back and she gave you time to think about going the next time then she seems like she does really care about you and wants to help you. Maybe the next time you go to therapy you can celebrate that you went and you made it through all the scary things..and get yourself a sundae or buy yourself something special. As far as the cast being on for four more weeks...how about you paint each of your toe nails a different color- it could be fun-just my thoughts

YOU WILL MAKE IT!!! as a very wise person told me .....YOU ARE STRONG & WONDERFUL!!!

I am sending you hugs

[the1forgotten]

Thank you all so much for your supportive replies. I'm going to try and go to the appointment in two weeks but I may talk myself out of it between now and then. Mainly cause if I go to the one she will expect me to start coming at least once or twice every week. I don't know if I'm ready for that. So more then likely I won't be able to be brave enough to go in two weeks.

[cantstopcrying]

Not brave enough? You are so very brave sweety! You just don't see it....but we all do. Just remember you are not alone and you are not forgotten.

[iheartferrets]

Originally Posted by the1forgotten

I started the appointment okay, talking a little here and there. answering yes or no questions for the most part. Then she got to one question that made me shut down. I told her that I didn't want to come back.

My T started off the same way on my first therapy appointment. She asked a lot of generalized questions, but then after she got through all of that, she was very blunt. It definitely took me by surprise, and I didn't feel comfortable talking about the stuff she wanted to. But, I went back the next week (mostly because of my mom's prodding) and my T took it a lot slower. First appointments are tough because the therapist feels like they need to know exactly what has happened to you, so that they can figure out a treatment plan. I think that your next one will be more laid back. Still important, but maybe more comfortable for you than the last one. Anyways, good luck! I'll be thinking about you!!

[the1forgotten]

Tomorrow is the day for therapy again and I don't know that I'm going, I've had a horrible couple weeks. =-(

[iheartferrets]

Originally Posted by the1forgotten

Tomorrow is the day for therapy again and I don't know that I'm going, I've had a horrible couple weeks. =-(

I'm sorry buddy!! You are so much stronger than you even realize. I know things have been so sh**ty for you lately, but the fact that you are still hanging in there is amazing. Just try and give this therapist another chance tomorrow. The last appointment was really hard, but you made it through it!! Going tomorrow to the appointment would be a good time to talk about all the stuff that has been going on lately so that you can get it off of your chest. Anyways, I hope you hang in there buddy boo... I'll be thinking about you!!

[Lifsuks]

Hi the1...,
How did therapy go? I hope you did get yourself there. Even if you just sat there and said nothing, just getting there is an accomplishment. Let us know how it went, or even if you didn't go, how you are feeling. We are here for you regardless!

[iheartferrets]

yay for going to therapy!! I am very proud of you! I know it isn't very fun, but I think you've found a good fit buddy :-) besides, it's not everyday that you meet somebody who can match your stubbornness I am so very proud of you. you are a very strong girl!!

[the1forgotten]

Quit therapy and meds about 3 months ago...
I tried.... I failed...