Afraid of Crying in Therapy

Crying is one of my problems, not that I can't stop crying, but I don't want to cry/ I am afraid to cry in front of my T.

Today a very emotional subject came up, and I knew I was going to cry. I have this strange problem where I smile when I am feeling an emotion other than happiness. So I started tearing up and then I smiled, laughed at myself and said Im not going to cry.

My T says I need to cry and need not to be afraid. She put a box of tissues beside of me, but I didn't use them. I noticed when I got teary eyed my Ts personality changed like she was going through what I was going through, her voice changed to a soft comforting voice, and she just watched me with a face full of empathy.

I didn't really cry, but I just started to and that was the end of it. I don't know why I am afraid of crying in front of her, or people for that matter. Just another unsolved problem of mine we have not really addressed.

Sorry, GC...I can offer no good advice. I've never cried to T. I rarely cry, unless over a good story or movie (and, then, I just get tears). I never sob. I did get misty-eyed in therapy once, but that is as close as I've come. I've always been tough--didn't cry when I broke my arm or when I had to have stitches as a child, for instance. I certainly feel very emotional on the inside, at times, but I don't express it externally. I laugh and smile often, though. If you figure out the secret to crying in therapy, then let me know.

I have never cried hard in therapy - just a few moments of teary eyes. It bothers me sometimes too - like why can't I cry in front of my T? I cry by myself though...I think, for me, it's because I've been shamed and ignored when crying in the past so my guard is always up. I would be sooooo happy if I could let that guard down with my T because I believe he is a safe person, but so far it seems to be locked shut /:

I don't cry at therapy appointments either. The woman has said she thinks I need to do so, but the thought of it sent me into panic. It is even highly improbable that I would cry there, and still the thought of it is extremely unsettling.

You're not alone. I've never cried once in all of my years of therapy, and that's many years! I have told her that I feel like crying, and the tears are there, but they're unshed. I even wrote her a poem about my unshed tears. I don't cry with other people either. I think it has to do with being shy and inhibited my whole life, and not being able to let people see what I'm feeling. It may have to do with shame about my body. Does any of that ring true for you too?

Did you cry when you were a child, or were you told not to cry, or punished for crying? That could be a factor too. Sometimes my T will ask me what the tears would be saying if they did come out. I like when she asks that. It sounds like your T is compassionate and will be nice to you whether you cry or not. You can't force yourself to cry. One of my former Ts told me that I don't have to cry for therapy to be effective. If you find out the secret to being able to cry, let me know!

One more question. Do you cry after therapy when you're alone? Sometimes I can barely make it out the door and I'm crying, but the tears wait until I'm safely out of the office.

My problem with crying is, yes when I was a child I was told to not cry. I also feel like crying makes me weak and makes me vulnerable to anyone watching. My mother is the same way, maybe I learned it from her. But if I got hurt physically I would cry, didn't matter where or who was watching, the pain hurt. There are days where I cry all day over anything, pretty sure its my depression, but then I will go weeks and weeks without crying anywhere. Today I felt uncomfortable when I started to tear up. I think I was just really afraid and maybe still not 100% comfortable with my T.

I have cried a few times right after therapy, in my car, just depends on how deep we got in therapy. But a lot of it waits until I go to bed at night, and then my flood gates start pouring.

I think a lot of us can identify with this. I used to never cry anywhere, now I very occasionally cry at home abet briefly and even noticed I had tears in my eyes in session yesterday. I also smile when I feel anything but happy and she always calls me on this.

same. tears welling up in the eyes only, and I fight them... because

(A) I detest the way I feel, after crying... the dehydration and suggestion of a headache
(B) I think I must look awful and ridiculous after crying
(C) Its what I've always done. Held everything in check

I should note that it really does feel like a challenge to just have those bubbling tears, because sometimes it feels like there is a lot there being held back.

I have this problem too. :/ I laugh about it and I change the subject but when I get home I end up crying about whatever I held back. I cry a lot, though. Just not in front of people, and when I do I hide my face entirely. I tend to talk better when I'm not able to see the other person or when they're not able to see me. Some of my best problem solving ideas come from when I'm in the middle of a meltdown on the bed, blanket over my eyes and crying my eyes out. It's...weird.

I try and hold back from crying but then it gets too much and I feel pathetic for crying, My T always has the tissue box ready.

I find that crying is the best way to deal with grief.
I cry quite a lot in therapy.

I´m not very emotional person so most times I don´t even feel like crying. We are trying to get in touch with my emotions and feelings in therapy so I think the crying is inevitable at some point but I SO hate the idea of it. I´m afraid that once I start I would not be able to stop. I think when the moment comes I will just run out the door.

I didn´t cry when my father died and week later my mum find out she has agressive brain tumor and possibly only 6 more months to live (she got well after 1year and half of treatment). When my two most loved dogs died in my arms or when I was digging their grave....nothing seems to move me enough. Sometimes I feel like a psychopath.

I had something like a break down few months ago (that is why I seeked T) and I had one day when I just could not stop crying while I didn´t feel a thing (other when wtf is going on??). I would hate this day to be repeated or if my T saw me like this.

Sorry that is bit too informative then it had to be but oh well......

I just cannot let myself go enough and cry in therapy either.
I've come close a few times, but then just shut off from my emotions and went blank, so as not to feel

A long time ago when I was a student I had some counselling. I could never cry with my counsellor then. The odd this is I really wanted to. It was a time in my life when I hardly cried at all. Now I am one huge blubbering mess! I almost always end up crying in T. She is always kind and supplies tissues. For me it seems a bit all or nothing. I am glad I feel safe enough to cry in T, but sometimes at other times I just wish I could get a bit of control back! To those who can't cry in T and want to, I would just say, remember you are in a safe place and you won't be judged. Also you are there to do whatever is good for you, and if it includes tears, so be it.

I actually find that crying in therapy makes the walk to the car much more relaxing, it's a form of release to me. I don't actually have any control over it and sometimes I feel utterly incoherent when I'm crying. However, I don't think people who don't cry necessarily means they're detached from their emotions. We all have different ways to express ourselves, right?

Crying is a tricky thing for me because I have parents who just do not care if I'm upset but get annoyed, or tell me not feel like that, or ignore me, or talk over me. Being ignored when I cry just makes me feel rejected.

And the thing with Ts is they sit with your feelings, so they won't necessarily DO anything but will just sit there and be there and listen - but for some of us that makes it worse. Mine knows that if I'm really crying he needs to pass the tissues, that's really important for me.

I do actually cry quite a lot in therapy, but I always think my T must think badly of me for it...

I got so it was not worth it to me to work so hard to keep from crying versus just doing so and continuing on, as if it were no big deal :-) I got good at that and it pleased my husband as his ex-wife would cry and not be able to talk or do anything else and he felt so helpless and frustrated/shut out. I use to picture myself as a walled town with multiple interior rings of walls? So, when I cried the first time, I just pictured myself retreating behind the next layer of walls, "giving up" that first one. It turned out okay in the end.