[SophiaG]

I dated a guy who had Aspergers for a while.

During the time I dated him (which wasnt too terribly long) I learned several things:

1) He had been sexually abused
2.) He was suicidal
3.) he claimed to be a sex addict
4.) He completely and utterly disregarded ALL my feelings
5.)He had Aspergers

During the Course of this relationship he:

1.) Overdosed twice
2.) cut himself several times even when I was RIGHT there with him
3.) made fun of my physical disablity (which was why I broke up with him)
4.)Cheated on me
5.) Didnt want me to talk to anyone but him

Another person who I've met recently claims to have Aspergers and they:

1.) are a compulsive liar
2.) disregard my feelings

Needless to say I didnt stick around to find out more.

is this normal behavior for an Aspie? Right now I dont particularly like them much.

And I cant believe I put up with that much from that one guy xD

[silentandscared]

Originally Posted by SophiaG

I dated a guy who had Aspergers for a while.

During the time I dated him (which wasnt too terribly long) I learned several things:

1) He had been sexually abused
2.) He was suicidal
3.) he claimed to be a sex addict
4.) He completely and utterly disregarded ALL my feelings
5.)He had Aspergers

During the Course of this relationship he:

1.) Overdosed twice
2.) cut himself several times even when I was RIGHT there with him
3.) made fun of my physical disablity (which was why I broke up with him)
4.)Cheated on me
5.) Didnt want me to talk to anyone but him

Another person who I've met recently claims to have Aspergers and they:

1.) are a compulsive liar
2.) disregard my feelings

Needless to say I didnt stick around to find out more.

is this normal behavior for an Aspie? Right now I dont particularly like them much.

And I cant believe I put up with that much from that one guy xD

Its seems that you have had a terrible experience with someone who just happens to have Aspergers. I am sorry for your experience but what l am not sorry for is to say out loud that l know many many people who suffer from Aspergers with varying degrees but what l do know is that everyone is very different and each individual is unique. I have not encoutered them as compulsive liars................in fact the total opposite of that very very honest. As for feelings a complete disregard for all feelings sorry no l cant agree with that either may troubles expressing what they feel.
What saddens me most about this post is that you were obviously very hurt and mistreated by this man and because of that you have judged all who suffer with Aspergers as the same.................. are we not more than a diagnosis .................... do we not fight to remove that people only see a diagnosis and not the person who is there inside hurting, confused and in pain. Because your experience was bad l am sorry for you as no one deserves that but we all of us have personalities that also play a big big role in the way we think, behave and act. but that doesnt make all people with Aspergers as you have desrcibed them in the above post.

Mandy

[tink30]

I'm sorry that you've had a terrible experience, but please don't blame it on the asperger's and maybe research a little on the disorder and then you'll understand why your relationship was the way it was. I have a son who is 11 years with Aspergers and I know socialization and communication are very difficult for them and can be very frustrating for them and I'm sure it's not easy for any with Aspergers to ben in relationships. I wish you well and that you will recover from this difficult relationship. Good luck!

[ariesmars]

i dont think that is normal. i dont act like that to anyone, but i never had anyone in my life. (depressed)

ps...I dont like the term aspies. It is aspergers or AS. Dont use that term around me please.

[SophiaG]

a lot of people seem angry at me for posting this.

Honestly, if I actually was 100% confident with what i believed to be true of people with aspergers I would never have posted this.

And in fact I only posted this to find the truth and to see if my predjudices were valid or not. Obviously some of my predjudices are wrong.

And I didnt mean Aspies in a derogatory way. Its just a word i've heard to describe someone with aspergers. o_o. If i thought it was like the N word for people with Aspergers, i wouldnt have used it.

[VanillaBean]

Sophia - I'm sorry you had such a bad experience.

Your question "is this normal behavior?" was valid. (No, it isn't... not for someone with AS and not for "neurotypical", or non-autistic, people either.) I think your statement about "not liking them very much" might have been what caused some responses to be a little bit testy.

We are all different, and like silentandscared said, we all have our own personalities - AS aside - that play a role in our behavior.

Take care,

VB

[silentandscared]

Originally Posted by SophiaG

a lot of people seem angry at me for posting this.

Honestly, if I actually was 100% confident with what i believed to be true of people with aspergers I would never have posted this.

And in fact I only posted this to find the truth and to see if my predjudices were valid or not. Obviously some of my predjudices are wrong.

And I didnt mean Aspies in a derogatory way. Its just a word i've heard to describe someone with aspergers. o_o. If i thought it was like the N word for people with Aspergers, i wouldnt have used it.

I dont think that its wrong to ask any questions especially if we have had a bad experience but what l do feel is that there is a way to ask questions you yes could still have said about all the experiences that YOU have suffered but when we group everyone into one band and then we judge others to be the same the reality it hurts people. People are indiviuals and you can take 100 people all with the same diagnosis and what you would see is hundreds of different manifestations of an ilness/condition.
I truely am sorry for the things that you experienced but the fault of that lies with this man and not the others who may share a diagnosis.....you can take any examle of grouping all into one group and what you find is they are not all the same.................but unique, different and possessing qualities 'normal' for each of these people depending on experience, and personality too. I hope you find the answers that you are seeking and in sorry that you think we are angry with our replies..................not angry just being human and seeing it from another perspective

silentandscared

"Persons with Asperger's are more different amongst themselves than persons not having Asperger's" said by my special therapist - who quoted a known statement.
This is actually why it is so hard to diagnose someone with AS - we are all so different from one another. But still there are of course things we do have in common but they can manifest in many different ways.

To diagnose an adult who has been formed by life more than a child has been, is even harder.

These are a few things I know about myself concerning the first post in this thread:

*I'm "too" honest. I can't lie because it would devastate me.

*When it comes to showing empathy... I tend to take the worries of the whole world upon my shoulder.

*I would NEVER make fun of someone physically disabled

*When it comes to sexual intimacy... Physical touching is a challenge of its own... not easy at all. Takes a lot of trust... the right moment... the right type of touch... the surrounding environment has to be right...

*It's one of the things I live for - listening to others and trying to support them the best I can.

------------------

When it comes to my son... we have a lot in common but we're also a lot different...

*He has a hard time showing empathy if he's in a bad frame of mind himself. He has the "emotional eyes" to see and support his close friends but maybe not always in the same way like others would do it. It's much easier to understand if he really sees someone hurting... like maybe having a wound... He's still learning from seeing others and the way they act. He's only 11 years old.

*He can't lie. He tells you something and then he looks at you saying: "I'm only kidding." or "Did you believe in that?"

My son's got a lot of issues that causes grief for us living with him and for others in his life. But one has to remember that like so many others - he has other diagnosis’s as well - ADHD and possibly Tourettes.

There are 3 "types" of AS... roughly speaking:

1. The social - who wants to be in contact with other people and are doing well when interacting with others.

2. The withdrawn - wants to spend time alone rather than amongst other people.

3. The more noticeable AS - acting in a less common way. Developing his/her own "lifestyle".

But like the members writing before me have said: we all have our own individual personalities.

I hope this piece of writing together with the other replies spread some light upon the subject Asperger's and behaviour.

Please let this thread be an informative one to give knowledge about a disorder still pretty "unknown" to most folks.

I've chosen not to talk about the parts making it so hard - for us having AS - to lead our lives. That belongs in another type of thread - I believe.

Peace and harmony to you all

/daynnight

[SophiaG]

Originally Posted by daynnight

"Persons with Asperger's are more different amongst themselves than persons not having Asperger's" said by my special therapist - who quoted a known statement.
This is actually why it is so hard to diagnose someone with AS - we are all so different from one another. But still there are of course things we do have in common but they can manifest in many different ways.

To diagnose an adult who has been formed by life more than a child has been, is even harder.

These are a few things I know about myself concerning the first post in this thread:

*I'm "too" honest. I can't lie because it would devastate me.

*When it comes to showing empathy... I tend to take the worries of the whole world upon my shoulder.

*I would NEVER make fun of someone physically disabled

*When it comes to sexual intimacy... Physical touching is a challenge of its own... not easy at all. Takes a lot of trust... the right moment... the right type of touch... the surrounding environment has to be right...

*It's one of the things I live for - listening to others and trying to support them the best I can.

------------------

When it comes to my son... we have a lot in common but we're also a lot different...

*He has a hard time showing empathy if he's in a bad frame of mind himself. He has the "emotional eyes" to see and support his close friends but maybe not always in the same way like others would do it. It's much easier to understand if he really sees someone hurting... like maybe having a wound... He's still learning from seeing others and the way they act. He's only 11 years old.

*He can't lie. He tells you something and then he looks at you saying: "I'm only kidding." or "Did you believe in that?"

My son's got a lot of issues that causes grief for us living with him and for others in his life. But one has to remember that like so many others - he's has other diagnosis’s as well - ADHD and possibly Tourettes.

There are 3 "types" of AS... roughly speaking:

1. The social - who wants to be in contact with other people and are doing well when interacting with others.

2. The withdrawn - wants to spend time alone rather than amongst other people.

3. The more noticeable AS - acting in a less common way. Developing his/her own "lifestyle".

But like the members writing before me have said: we all have our own individual personality.

I hope this piece of writing together with the other replies spread some light upon the subject Asperger's and behaviour.

Please let this thread be an informative one to give knowledge about a disorder still pretty "unknown" to most folks.

Peace and harmony to you all

/daynnight

Wow I didnt know that there were different kinds. I think i've met a social one before on another site n_n. He's nice.

And I am thinking that my ex probably had more than one dx to act as he did. And his personality probably played a factor in what i experienced, Which clears things up somewhat and makes me less confused.

I think part of what I was trying to ask was..." how much of how he behaved was due to his aspergers and how much of it was personality?"

I think I'm beginning to see the difference

thanks daynnight!

[Michah]

Hi sweetie, nasty traumatic experience for you......especially if you cared for them. I do not have an official diagnosis but my T and i have discussed it and there is severe autism in the family so being part of a similar spectrum(I think! Haven't researched it much) it is more than probable with my "behavioral and mental leanings" that I have a mild but noticeable case of Aspergers.

My point is that I was dx with borderline personality disorder 15 years ago at 21. Now I was violent, a self-harmer and could be VERY difficult. The dx is beside the point. Its what I did with it that is important.......I had to learn to behave within the confines of society, respect peoples right to safety, learn to control my anger and work on my human connection skills.

Every person, including your exes, need to take responsibility for their actions. Without responsibility, there is chaos. No matter what you might be dx with, we are all part of a bigger picture. Dx is not an excuse. It can be a point of discussion, but never an excuse. That is the most valuable lesson I learnt. I still struggle sometimes, but i don't beat myself up anymore that I cannot read expressions, or I get confused by peoples endless emotions and i have learnt to respect people on merit and as much as i find peoples behaviour disturbing, I also find it beautiful. Watching people in a group is like watching a dance, fluid, graceful and mesmirising(that is until they all get drunk!!)

I may not feel "human" most of the time and sometimes i feel sad that I feel that I lack that wonderful human propensity for spontaneity(I crave order and love algebra!!) but i am peaceful with it and know that it is an interesting and rewarding part of my "humanity". Other people accept me just the way I am........because I do.

Good luck with future relationships........maybe you should look more at avoiding certain behaviours, which can be experienced by anybody, not so much dx........you never know who your soulmate is!!!

[embarassed]

Originally Posted by SophiaG

I dated a guy who had Aspergers for a while.

During the time I dated him (which wasnt too terribly long) I learned several things:

1) He had been sexually abused
2.) He was suicidal
3.) he claimed to be a sex addict
4.) He completely and utterly disregarded ALL my feelings
5.)He had Aspergers

During the Course of this relationship he:

1.) Overdosed twice
2.) cut himself several times even when I was RIGHT there with him
3.) made fun of my physical disablity (which was why I broke up with him)
4.)Cheated on me
5.) Didnt want me to talk to anyone but him

Another person who I've met recently claims to have Aspergers and they:

1.) are a compulsive liar
2.) disregard my feelings

Needless to say I didnt stick around to find out more.

is this normal behavior for an Aspie? Right now I dont particularly like them much.

And I cant believe I put up with that much from that one guy xD

Was he officially diagnosed with Asperger's? He sounds like one of those "self diagnosed" ones. You know the people who just happen to be eccentric or nerdy or whatever and then they read a list of Asperger symptoms and they think, "Oooh I must have Asperger's!" And then they use it as an excuse for everything and talk about how proud they are to have Asperger's.

[SophiaG]

Originally Posted by embarassed

Was he officially diagnosed with Asperger's? He sounds like one of those "self diagnosed" ones. You know the people who just happen to be eccentric or nerdy or whatever and then they read a list of Asperger symptoms and they think, "Oooh I must have Asperger's!" And then they use it as an excuse for everything and talk about how proud they are to have Asperger's.

well the first one i am pretty sure he had it, because he would tell me about things he had created and quite frankly they were pretty amazing. he told me once how he was creating a sci fi story with 35 different dimensions and how he knew all these tiny details about the dimensions. it blew me away. i told him he was intelligent and that he should have more confidence in himself, but of course he didnt listen.

the second guy i left because i really didnt care to find out more, he i doubt. in the short time i knew him he threw so many stories at me about who he was that it made my head spin. they were all feeble attempts to try to explain mistakes he had made. And his explanation for why he was such a jerk to me was that he had Aspergers and BPD and not as I suspected Anti-social Personality Disorder.

The Guy: I have BPD and Aspergers, Yes, that's right (*****) i'm disabled.
SG: Why didnt you tell me this before? If you had told me this before I mightve given you some slack.
The guy: I dont need your pity and its none of your buisness.
SG: ok. fine.
-end conversation-

he also tells everyone he has terminal cancer and think that justifies any jerk-wad behavior he may fling at people. This is just another one of his explanations so he doesnt have to take responsibility for the not nice things he says to people.

I dont buy his story about him having Aspergers tbh.

-SG

[TrespassersWill]

I tend to think the second guy doesn't have Aspergers. Actually the fact that either of them was in a relationship with you makes me question whether either of them has AS only because its so rare for people with AS to date or to actually have friends. (especially the guys) Though its not impossible. A lot of us spend excessive amounts of energy trying to avoid others after all. But after you told about the first guy's story of the 35 dimension thing sure sounds like something a AS person would come up with.

AS is getting to be the end all excuse for bad behavior so I suspect that is why the second guy said he had it. Some people are misdiagnosed especially in recent years with AS being so popular that anyone who is weird or nerdy either gets misdiagnosed with it or self diagnoses themselves.

[Vaarsuvius]

I have to admit that I found it rather amusing that someone was offended by the use of the word "aspie". I've been on various AS forums and I don't think I've ever come across anyone who was offended by that term before.

Sophia, it sounds like you've had a bad experience with a specific person. Not all people with Asperger's are like that. We're all very different. I'm a little like daynight, as far as at least a few issues go.

[Callista]

I've seen it a couple of times. Some people think it makes AS sound trivial. The majority are fine with it, though.

Actually, there are a lot of people who are annoyed that Asperger's sounds so much like "AssBurgers". A lot of people will use that to make fun of you, once they wrap their tiny little minds around the pun.

Re. self-diagnosed: Just remember this is not an automatic "they're just eccentric and a bit hypochondriac"... they might be right. AS and autism are new, as far as psychology is concerned. If the person you're talking to is mid-twenties or older, it is likely enough that if their case isn't very obvious, it was missed when they were kids.

I'm 26 now. As a kid, I had uncontrollable tantrums, couldn't tolerate the feel of certain types of cloth, went nuts when I had to take a shower, spoke in canned phrases or as though reading out loud, couldn't learn to clean a room or brush my teeth or do the dishes, took until my teen years to learn to ride a bike and could never run gracefully, spent ages making patterns with dried beans, got fascinated with cats to the point of obsession, and didn't have any friends at all. Know when I was finally diagnosed? I was 19. My mom had been in denial for years. (Didn't help that she was also undiagnosed autistic, and figured I was normal because I was like her.) Point being, it is very possible for some cases to be missed, especially if the person in question is in their twenties or older. Asperger's became a recognized diagnosis in the mid-1990s, and anyone older than about twelve at the time easily could have slipped through the cracks. If you are "self-diagnosed", it means you have a very strong suspicion this has happened. Many such people have learned enough over the years not to need any extra help; but some are seeking out an expert in adult autism who might give them some insight into exactly how their minds work.

[ariesmars]

Been in therapy for months (1 yr now) talking and then my t told me she thinks I have AS and asked me to read about it and when I did I found out I had a lot of the symptoms. It took my T and months of talking and learning and watching my behavior to figure out that I have AS. I was 30yrs when I was diagnosed. My T is very good, I never new about AS until she told me about it and when I learned about it, I felt so much relief about how I acted all my life and why I did what I did. It was great to learn about it and I feel VERY special that I have AS. However, it does have its problems, for me socially it is a killer. I’m so lonely, would almost kill to have someone in my life...

[Tonys Baby]

Originally Posted by SophiaG

I dated a guy who had Aspergers for a while.

During the time I dated him (which wasnt too terribly long) I learned several things:

1) He had been sexually abused
2.) He was suicidal
3.) he claimed to be a sex addict
4.) He completely and utterly disregarded ALL my feelings
5.)He had Aspergers

During the Course of this relationship he:

1.) Overdosed twice
2.) cut himself several times even when I was RIGHT there with him
3.) made fun of my physical disablity (which was why I broke up with him)
4.)Cheated on me
5.) Didnt want me to talk to anyone but him

Another person who I've met recently claims to have Aspergers and they:

1.) are a compulsive liar
2.) disregard my feelings

Needless to say I didnt stick around to find out more.

is this normal behavior for an Aspie? Right now I dont particularly like them much.

And I cant believe I put up with that much from that one guy xD

First, I wouldn't use the term "Aspies." I don't know if that's a common term used here on this forum, but I'd imagine that would be offensive to some people.

Second, I'm an ABA teacher for individuals with Autism, and have experience working with not only those with Autism but those with other ASDs as well (such as Asperger's), aged 3-22. To be honest, I have never first-handedly worked with anyone who had so many issues going on at once. I'm sure his sexual abuse has affected him in a big (negative) way. Being sexually abused could make anyone cut or be suicidal or overdose on whatever, etc.

I wouldn't necessarily blame his behavior on his disability. Sure, maybe the fact that he has Asperger's makes it more difficult for him to deal with certain issues, but I wouldn't be surprised if an individual without Asperger's exhibited the same behaviors as did your ex.

I'm sorry you were so hurt by him. But anyone can hurt you like that, Asperger's or not. Good luck in your future relationship endeavors!

[roadracer]

wow, I am hf autistic, dxed when I was around 6, I am 25 now, and have been around and posted on many aspergers and autism message boards, for many years, know many people with aspergers and autism, and never seen a person offended by using "aspie" or "autie". This is sort of shocking to me because I use aspie and autie all the time and never gave it much thought, and never knew it could be offensive to people. I will try not to use it around here if it offends people, and sorry if I already have used it

[Callista]

I have seen only a few--as in, one or two out of thousands--being offended by the "Aspie" or "Autie" terms. That's about the same number of people who hate the pronunciation of "Asperger's".

I have taken to using "autistic" to describe myself, simply because there is so little real distinction between Asperger's, PDD-NOS, and regular autism in cases where you have a verbal teen or adult who has outgrown, or never had, developmental delay (that's most adults on the spectrum). In my case, there's no way to tell simply because I probably had some delays as a child; had I been evaluated then, they might have said anything from classic autism to Asperger's... so now I am simply "autistic" (as in "pervasive developmental disorder) and moderately disabled, with the most correct category probably being PDD-NOS.

You might be able to say that some case or other is "definitely" one or the other; but there are as many that are on the blurred lines between the categories. You can't even use functioning level; there are people with classic autism who are doing a lot better than most people with Asperger's, for example. I really think the distinctions are mostly artificial, and hope they will fix that problem when they re-write the definition in the next DSM. It's gotten so bad that over half of autism diagnoses are PDD-NOS ("NOS"=not otherwise specified, a catch-all that is supposed to include only a small fraction of cases that don't fit into specific categories). The autism spectrum itself is so very diverse, and if that weren't bad enough, it blends seamlessly into the typical. It's not a distinct group of disorders--it's the edge of a bell curve.

[roadracer]

I just use hf autistic, I could probably just use autistic, but I like to use high functioning in front of it so people know even with the problems I might describe, that I am pretty able person

[Jmall]

Originally Posted by SophiaG

I dated a guy who had Aspergers for a while.

During the time I dated him (which wasnt too terribly long) I learned several things:

1) He had been sexually abused
2.) He was suicidal
3.) he claimed to be a sex addict
4.) He completely and utterly disregarded ALL my feelings
5.)He had Aspergers

During the Course of this relationship he:

1.) Overdosed twice
2.) cut himself several times even when I was RIGHT there with him
3.) made fun of my physical disablity (which was why I broke up with him)
4.)Cheated on me
5.) Didnt want me to talk to anyone but him

Another person who I've met recently claims to have Aspergers and they:

1.) are a compulsive liar
2.) disregard my feelings

Needless to say I didnt stick around to find out more.

is this normal behavior for an Aspie? Right now I dont particularly like them much.

And I cant believe I put up with that much from that one guy xD

Let me provide you with a different point of view. I am somebody with Asperger's. Many of my friends and family believe I do the things you have checked off.

1) Pathological liar: I probably am a pathological liar. But I don't mean to be, it's hard to explain... It's like. I have to pretend to be somebody else just to get by. Especially in relationships. Most people HAVE social skills, while... I (and I think others with AS probably as well) have to learn them scientifically. I can fit in with any group of people. But not as myself. So while at parties, and social gatherings people tend to think I am awesome, and the life of the party... The people closer to me tend to see the inconsistencies, and they take it as a personal lie AGAINST them. However, it's just me trying to fit in.

2) Sex abuse: My opinion, is that him cheating on you being a sex addict is more related to him being abused. Not Aspergers.

3) Feelings: I can't say for them, but I can speak for myself when I say that I do not intentionally disregard people's feelings. I interpret things differently. A lot of times, to me, it seems as if my friends are disregarding my feelings as well. So naturally, the things I do, that I think are considerate, and thoughtful, aren't seen as such. Over time people have learned that this is my way of caring for them.

4) Possesion: This is something that I have a really hard time with. I know it's not right, but I do sometimes get offended when my girlfriends, or friends go do things with other people. My gut tells me that they are going to abandon me. That they like this other person better than myself. This usually ends up causing more issues than anything else... the problem is. People with AS tend to not have many TRUE friends. So when they get somebody that they can be themselves around... it's rare, and I for one, tend to latch on a little more than I should.

very good words! I'm with you... Welcome to PC, Jmall!!!

I have to pretend to be somebody else just to get by. Especially in relationships. Most people HAVE social skills, while... I (and I think others with AS probably as well) have to learn them scientifically. I can fit in with any group of people. But not as myself. So while at parties, and social gatherings people tend to think I am awesome, and the life of the party...

yes... this goes for me too.
Growing up... year by year... you learn the "right way" to act, but... it doesn't come as a natural thing... I worry a lot when I'm with a group of people or with a friend... sort of wanting to have it confirmed that; I'm laughing in the "right way"... not too loud... sitting down with my body positioned in the "right way"... do I look the others in their eyes enough?... etc. I know how to do it... but still it feels sort of "faked"... uncomfortable.

When I find a really really good friend... I'd do anything for that person...

You can often read about how - 'people with Asperger’s are lacking empathy’.
When you have Asperger’s you might have a difficult time when it comes to how much empathy you should show... or in what way to do it. We're not lacking empathy - but we might not show it in the same way as most people do. I personally tend to
feel and show "too much" empathy. I care too much and I end up drained after trying to help everyone around me... forgetting about taking care of myself.



/daynnight

[Jmall]

Originally Posted by daynnight

very good words! I'm with you... Welcome to PC, Jmall!!!

yes... this goes for me too.
Growing up... year by year... you learn the "right way" to act, but... it doesn't come as a natural thing... I worry a lot when I'm with a group of people or with a friend... sort of wanting to have it confirmed that; I'm laughing in the "right way"... not too loud... sitting down with my body positioned in the "right way"... do I look the others in their eyes enough?... etc. I know how to do it... but still it feels sort of "faked"... uncomfortable.

When I find a really really good friend... I'd do anything for that person...

You can often read about how - 'people with Asperger’s are lacking empathy’.
When you have Asperger’s you might have a difficult time when it comes to how much empathy you should show... or in what way to do it. We're not lacking empathy - but we might not show it in the same way as most people do. I personally tend to
feel and show "too much" empathy. I care too much and I end up drained after trying to help everyone around me... forgetting about taking care of myself.



/daynnight

Yeah same. I tend to be one of the people that is overcaring. But then I try to not let my caring show... my closest friend thinks I "beat around bushes" a lot. When in reality this is just me feeling around for the general mood of the situation.

[honeypot61]

She is not completely incorrect about people with aspergers. They lack EMPATHY which makes them come off as selfish and mean. Google aspergers and it will give you behaviors/symptoms. They lack emotion and simply cannot understand how another is feeling. Their brain is not wired the same as people who have empathy.