I let him back in and now I am kicking myself

Thank you @MuseumGhost! It helps SO much to hear positives!!!!!! Like, what I am doing well and right.. And, I think I am doing pretty well, for the most part, except for a stumble here and there.

And, today, I closed the chapter to that part of my life. He is now a mere chapter in my whole life's span. I mentally closed it for myself, and am opening a brand new chapter. He is of old. Now I am in the present, and he is no longer a part of my present OR my future. This concept I more fully embraced today for the 1st time - progress!!! I know I will fine, in the end, and far better off.

It's best to completely ignore everything he says and have zero contact, Have Hope

I know. There are certain things we still have to be in touch about, namely, divorce details.

So, I ran into my old college friend last night - the one who blew me off last week when I texted him? He tried initially to just walk by me and completely ignore me so I made him talk to me. He said he didn't reply to my texts last week because I didn't text him for a whole week. WTF. So I told him that he took our friendship to a whole 'nother level, where it wasn't even at. So, he made HIS misunderstanding and misinterpretation my own fault, and I get punished for not texting him for a week. That's twisted and f'ed up. I do not want or need this kind of a friend.

He's more what you'd call a frenemy.

I would remain civil to him, but that's all.

You deserve better, Have Hope

He is a frenemy! Lol. And I do deserve better. He had no right behaving the way he did. He acted like he’s a boyfriend or soon to be boyfriend. Crazy!

Yup, I also would call that dude a frenemy. Please, be civil and nothing more.

I did walk away from him, which is hardly being civil. I couldn't listen to another second of him telling me I had done him wrong, when we had only been back in touch for a matter of weeks.

I just received the updated divorce agreement from the lawyer. Reality is sinking in.

we're all here for our Have Hope

Thanks sooo much.

It's Friday, and that was pretty much like getting a very sobering reality check just before the weekend starts. It made my heart sink, despite this being my decision and my choice.

Ya know, with him you were getting nowhere fast. Now there is no time limit. My mother once said to me, "why did you get divorced? You havent done anything special with your life. You could have stayed married." Well i got away from people like that, thats pretty special to me.

The reality is that you have chosen to find your happier life. It takes time to find because the world is a big place and you are no longer limited by something and someone who treated you badly.
Your happiness is out there.
Paperwork can feel intense. It's an official checkpoint in this. If it didn't cause you to pause for a moment, it would be concerning. I think the key is to feel what you feel in the moment and keep finding your happier life. Moments to reflect remind us that the past is done and the future is where we are going.

His girlfriend was never married, so I am guessing she will put up with anything. I met someone on the facebook dating.....we had a great time, and clicked on most every subject. Then he "ghosted" me. I waited a week and told him that my perception of him was that he was someone of integrity, and that he had no honor. He is a former marine, so I bet that stung, LOL......he texted me back that he thought I was gorgeous and looked forward to seeing me again. I know he will never contact me. But you know what? There was nothing negative about me, and it was HIS stuff. Eventually you won't feel the need to contact your soon to be ex, but lonliness makes you do things you know aren't good for you. Try not to let yourself beat yourself up, you are going through so much and so many emotions. Sending love and hugs....and know how courageous you are.

Loneliness does make you do things that aren't good for you.

And thanks so much for the love, hugs & encouragement!

I am realizing how unhappy I am in my life without my husband - I am not saying I am unhappy without HIM, I am saying, now that he's gone, I am seeing how unhappy I truly am in my life. I don't know where my career and job are heading, I am in no man's land in my current job, I am alone, lonely and I have very few local friends. I am not happy about any of this.

My girlfriend and I though may take a cruise together sometime next year. So that's one thing to hopefully look forward to.

But also the holidays are coming, and I've never enjoyed the holidays when I've been single. It's a very lonely time.... I am having a really hard time.

To top it off, I got a "I miss you so much" text from my husband this morning.

Perhaps dealing with your husband distracted you from the issues you are now starting to address?

Yes, I think so - and that's a sound observation!

Today is the first day where I feel sorta OK without my husband, meaning, I feel less lonely and more solid within myself. Maybe it also helps a lot that I went out and socialized both Friday and Sat nights. I am sure that this plays into how I am feeling today.

I also have to admit and be super honest with myself. It helps me to know my husband is missing me, regardless of everything. Perhaps it was more manipulation to try and rope me back in, but it felt good to know he is struggling without me. I know he will find someone else to replace me at some point and perhaps already has new supply. But whatever. His text yesterday helped me to feel a bit better.

Have Hope is loved lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots andlots and lots here

Aww, thanks, @willowtigger is the sweetest!!!!!

Text “I miss you” so much was a manipulation. I am not saying he’s not missing you but sending such texts is wrong on every level. Just confirms how sneaky and selfish he is

You can focus on other things now. Improving job prospects, finding new friends etc Being single for holidays could be a blessing. He either didn’t want to join you or needed to leave early or wasn’t feeling well. It doesn’t need to be lonely.

Go see your mom. How about your sister? Look for new friendships.

Two of my single girlfriends going to Thanksgiving dinner together joined by another single lady. Much more pleasant than dealing with difficult husbands. You don’t need to be lonely on holidays. You’d be surprised how many single never married, widowed, divorced women are out there. Or married with husbands working on holidays and no other family.. There are ways to enjoy your holidays without men. You can do it

You're likely correct about the text.

And thanks, @divine1966.

I will see my sister on Sat - we're having a family gathering then. My mom and I are spending Thanksgiving together - we're going out to eat. Christmas we'll all be together.

And you're right - my husband typically made the holidays more difficult. I don't know why that is.

I will meet new people in time... I am not up yet for joining social groups.