I let him back in and now I am kicking myself #2

I hear you have hope about the resume. Good for you for standing your ground.

Let try to be friendly with Have Hope who is going through a difficult time right now.

I was talking about Have Hope's ex husband. Not Have Hope herself

Now I have a debt collector after me for an $1,000+ ER visit cost. Great. Everything is just spectacular.

Would it be allowed if anyone who could here, helped get the money together for you?

can't remember whether thats allowed or not, wish i didnt have a screwy memory

whats £20 in $ ? i could maybe give that ?

Very sweet of you, but I can’t do that. It’s a pride thing. I will figure it out. I may go to one of those debt consolidation companies. I may have to.

when do you have to pay it?

will they hurt our favouritest Hope if she isnt able to pay?

I have to call them and tell them I can’t pay now.

*comes over and sits with Have Hope while she makes the phone call*

The way it works with medical bills you could always negotiate with hospitals or clinics to pay whatever you can. Send 10 bucks every month. As long as you keep paying they can’t do anything. But I am not sure what happens if it went to collectors.

Could you borrow from your mom? Sister? That’s where I would go first. But it’s a good idea to call and say you will pay but not the whole amount right away. Or use your bank loan?

i must miss understand the system over there, i thought it was a "you owe us this money you have to pay it NOW!!!!" thing ?

I can pay a little at a time. I will not borrow the money or take it out of my loan. I will call them first and see what they say.

No. When you get a bill, you call and talk to the hospital. You can do a payment plan. Or you can send what you can when they bill you, when the remaining balance comes, you again pay what you can. There is no system “over here” or over there or anywhere that demands immediate payments of a full amount without even considering payment plans. Now if you don’t pay your bills and it goes on collection, then I don’t know how it works. It’s a different situation. Typically it takes a long time of not paying for it to end up with debt collectors.

Our health care is crazy as we don’t have national health care. People have health insurance typically through their employer. It’s not affordable without insurance

Good plan. You’d want to take of it so it doesn’t effect your credit. They will likely give you some options

I wonder if ANY debt consolidation company has an offer or program that doesn't effect your credit. I'm going to research it.

Debt consolidation will absolutely affect your credit. It doesn’t mean it will ruin it but it will certainly drop it. It alerts credit bureau that you aren’t able to pay in a normal fashion and your debt is being sold to a different financial institution. Also every time anyone runs your credit to check it, it drops. It goes back up eventually.

Everything to do with debt or loans affect your credit. When you lease a car, even if you use the same bank and return a car in your dealership and get exact same car, your score drops. It’s because you started a new financing. Etc

Some debt consolidation companies will tell you it won’t affect your credit, it will. It’s not the end of the world. It goes back up. Mine goes down every three years when I lease a car. Or in the past whenever I bought a new car and financed it. It goes down by A LOT. In few months it goes back up to the previous level though.

It also depends how big is your debt. If it’s 100k or it’s 10k. I’d talk to a financial advisor. They could run your numbers for you. Consolidating loans sounds like a good plan to get out of debt but in a long run it might not be. Be careful. I’d not go to all this trouble over 1k of medical bills. It could be paid off gradually

Yeah, I don't know. I will research it, but likely won't pursue that route. I have over 10K in debt.

I am remaining strong with my husband. I told him yesterday on no uncertain terms that I can't get back together with him, that I don't want to lead him on and that I will not jerk him around. He did save me from the cold the other day and brought me two space heaters to warm my apt (I think I mentioned this already). I needed help and he was there to help. But I still had to nip it because he then was asking me to come over to his place for lunch, and offered to come over to my place at night to give me a head rub since I had a bad headache.

I think I feel more confident in my stance now. I was wavering and was considering it again.... I was weakened, but now I feel stronger again. I am listening to my inner voice AND my gut vs my emotional pull towards him. And I think I may even be over the emotional pull - I see his attempts as manipulations again. All smoke and mirrors, with very little to back it up.

I know he won't change - why would he? He hasn't so far, so why would he now? His behaviors are so engrained in him at this stage. And with him, if it's not one thing, it's another.

To boot, I've lost 10 pounds so far, of the 17 pounds that I gained while with him. I am feeling better about myself, my weight and how I feel about how I look. I joined the local YMCA and went swimming last week - just once, but I plan on going this week again. I am eating healthier foods, and I am generally sticking to my diet - all things I never would have accomplished if I were with him again.

I also met a man online who friended me on Facebook. He lives in another state, but we are chatting - just friendly chats, no flirtations. He is a hiker & a skier, and reminds me of all that I used to be and still am. This side of me has been buried for YEARS, so it's a great reminder for me of all that I was missing while with my husband. I stopped hiking, I stopped skiing, I stopped kayaking, sailing, and roller blading - all things I love to do. What grand adventures did my husband take me on? None. Our biggest adventures were to get a hotel for some band out of town, or go out for a fine dining experience, or take a very short walk around the block, or drive to our favorite energy crystal store to buy crystals. Boring!!!!

I want to ski, hike and camp, roller blade and kayak again. I want to venture across the country again to California to go to the vineyards in Sonoma County. I want to drive highway 101 again down the coast of California - I want to visit San Francisco again, and I want to ski in Canada. I want to travel to Italy and maybe Costa Rica. I have dreams - big dreams that were never going to be fulfilled living with my husband - never.

And this guy online is reminding me of all my biggest dreams and desires in life - it's so refreshing!!!!!! I need this. I don't plan or intend on dating him at all. Just talking and friendly chats. But having this side of me come back to life again - is amazing..... and in feeling this alive within me makes me even stronger in my stance with my husband.

Debt consolidation is just as bad as bankruptcy, so if you're looking at the former, might as well file the latter.

Definitely not doing bankruptcy! No way. And I can earn over 100K, so that would be insane to do.

Just realized something - due to a "memory" that popped up on my Facebook today. Today marks the day that my husband reached out to me on Facebook messenger and when we first started talking 5 years ago. So, today is the anniversary of when we really first met. Valentines Day marks another anniversary - it was our 1st real date.

Whoa.

I not sure what he weighs, Have Hope, but you lost weight when you lost him - you lost whatever weight he is

I am approved for unemployment benefits and will get back pay for the last 3 weeks I've been unemployed.

I've calculated that I won't have to dip into my bank loan until March 1st. Then, I am screwed from there on out and will need the bank loan to help support myself, in addition to unemployment benefits. That gives me 3 weeks to get a job.

I've applied to 7 jobs since Sunday.

Only 1 interview this week, but I think this one could be a great fit for my skill set. I am meeting with the company CEO - which I love to do because they're the ones in charge. Hopefully, he will give me some time to ask questions, but I don't anticipate that happening since the call is only a half hour. I've learned that when it's a first interview and only a half an hour, that they get to run the show and take up the full half hour with their questions. The last CEO I met with only gave me the last 2 minutes to ask any questions I had.

I have a good feeling about this company - I like what they have to offer and it's a bit different than most digital marketing agencies. They also offer web design in Wordpress and CRO services - conversion rate optimization - which is something I know a bit about and would love to learn more about. CRO means getting website visitors to convert to buying customers through various optimization tactics on the website. It's different than SEO, what I do, which is about driving the right traffic to a website.

Anyways, I have to prep well for this interview, beginning this morning. I took yesterday off - I was entirely burnt out, and mainly from listening to a friend all about his own abusive relationship. I realize that I really don't have the bandwidth right now to listen much to other people's problems. I am tapped out with all my own problems.

For those who don't understand why I need to spend hours prepping for each interview.... depending on the company's clientele and specific services, I have to be knowledgeable in ALL areas of SEO, which includes Local SEO, international SEO, eCommerce SEO, enterprise SEO, on-page SEO, off-page SEO, and technical SEO. Each of these areas is highly complex AND different, and I have to know and understand all of it.

Here's just one example of Local SEO ranking factors that I have to understand for my upcoming interview today: