Roll Call 60

Metformin can help with AP Induced weight gain.....I'm sure you don't want one more med but your mom sounds serious, the last thing you want is AOT. They treat you like a criminal.....

5 hours to get him done i mean. sorry.
wrong wording. what i mean is its 5 hours waiting to get him taken care of. so i dropped him off at 1:30 and i picked him up at 5:30. but factor in the drive time and wait time to get hime thats 30 min to and from the place. that took 5 hours or so to get him done.

my topamax supposed to help me lose weight. its for headaches.

I have to come off my meds, the people at the clinic don't take me seriously. They look at my chart and see I've gained almost 100 lbs and are like "oh that's okay you look fine" like it's some big joke and I'm sick of it. I can't have any of my issues addressed because I have too much damn anxiety to say anything. I quit, I quit tonight. Chances are my mom will forget about getting it court ordered and time will go by and things will be back to normal/ I'm at a weight where I completely despise myself and the clinic thinks it's funny

i know how you feel.
i was like that when i gained 80 pounds.
i quit my meds too. i became severely psychotic. i had a lot of stressors in my life too and was isolating too and was pushing myself to not sleep and the like. if you plan to get off meds i would highly recommend you have a plan and a backup plan. have a plan to not isolate yourself and have a support system and a routine.

Thanks, I took a Klonopin and have calmed down a lot

i urge you not to do that... you went IP last time. there is a safe and healthy way to lose weight on APs. or, like sometimesP said try metformin. if u cant get ur clinic to prescribe it try a general practitioner. topamax does make you lose weight in the right dosage, but there are weird common side effects. have you talked to your T about your body image? does he have anything to offer? maybe look into your insurance and see if it will cover a nutritionist

what are the weird common side effects of topamax?

First day being vegetarian, people are already bugging me saying I need to eat red meat. Ugh....

tingling in face and hands/feet. it also does weird things to your frontal lobe, and can cause problems like not knowing words, not putting a sentence together easily, etc

some ppl call it stupamax or dopamax

I gained weight from medication (******* Zyprexa). I went from a size three in jeans to a 10. Oh my gosh wish I never took that devil medicine. Now, I'm tempting to go vegetarian to help lose weight. I thought about starving myself and quitting my meds, but both are unhealthy. People say being vegetarian is unhealthy, too, but I'm doing it anyways. People tell me "Oh you look fine". No. No. No. You don't understand the big change here. I can't get used to it. I weigh myself every day like once or twice. I admit I'm obsessed, but I want to be back my old size.

I want to stop the Abilify. Anhedonia like feeling. Completely killing my mind. I think I'm on too much. Like back to 4 weeks instead of 3 would be better. I will ask to stop the 10mg as well.

I feel nothing pretty much.

My mom says that she has a bottle of Concerta. I don't think she'll find it.

Withdrawal is really bad from Concerta. And I'm out until next week because my mom wanted me to enjoy my trip to BC and to take 2 in the morning and 1 at noon and it was perfect. No crash. The suffering and caffiene abuse will happen again unfortunately.

A few days ago around injection time, I was planning on writing around 100 pages and how to prove that I don't have schizophrenia. That's quite a bit of motivation.. It's a fixed belief. Maybe the Abilify is a schizomanergic like Risperdal where taking it too long will cause permanent psychosis as a withdrawal idk.

The motivation with Concerta and caffeine..

My ex told me I should sue my doctor for giving me only 2 months notice that she's closing her practice for many reasons. But I couldn't do that. I would feel so bad. I counted my pills and I have exactly 40 days to find a doctor willing to refill my meds before I start going into withdrawals that can literally kill me or cause brain damage. I'm on such a high dosage that no doctor will even prescribe half of what I take. I'm so mad at her for putting me on something that is physically dependent without telling me. I've never been scared for my life until this last week.

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. I think if you run out you should be able to go to an ER or inpatient....I'm not 100% but I think they will often give you another months refill....if you're lucky one of them also does outpatient and can pick up your case. Basically your doctor is being negligent by not moving you to another doc before leaving its called abandonment. It's stress you shouldn't have to be dealing with....hugs.....

guess im gonna go to Ts group he kinda talked me into it. im really tired didnt get much sleep

I'm really excited about my two new classes coming up, I feel like I have a purpose again

hm. i never had that but i think i had the problems with putting words together sometimes. but not too much luckily. thanks for that info. im on 200mg.

im pulling out my eyelashes and its drawing blood but it doesnt hurt. it feels good. i have anxiety and stress over my chickens dying yesterday and getting my hair done and worrying about my hair falling out and having to sit there for and two hours in the salon.

I woke up today, made a healthy breakfast and then took a half mile walk While I was walking, instead of telling myself "omg this is too much, I'm gonna die" I told myself "good job, every step gets closer toward your goal" It's amazing how much a positive attitude made the walk a lot less difficult

Self harm trigger, goes into detail. Might be TMI for some people.

It sounds to me like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand if you go into A&E they might tell others including your Sister but on the other hand it really sounds like your wound needs attending to. There's no easy answer but if you are really worried about infection you should really get it seen to regardless.

you can try covering the wound in superglue. thats what it was invented for. might not work given that its on a bendy part but its an option to try.

I'm going to be up in the city during the week, I'm thinking if it's still bad I'll go to the A&E there, then no one will find out. I don't even mind if my parents found out it's just these nurses call my sister for gossip as she knows them all up there. My sister won't tell me who's telling her this stuff so I can't even report them.

Really neil? Are you trying to kill me or is that an actual option. I'm sure you might be trying to kill me