[otaku1992]

Hey, I'm new. I've been a daughter for 21 years and a girlfriend for 2. I've had bipolar symptoms pretty much since before I can remember. My memory is pretty bad, though, and I don't remember a whole lot of my childhood very clearly, so. Yeah.

I'm not diagnosed, but I've been told by multiple people through out my life I seem very bipolar. I have extreme mood swings. I consider myself functional, despite going from happy to angry to sad and back again in the course of a few hours, almost every day. The reason I'm here is because I want to control my irritability and extreme mood swings for the sake of my boyfriend and our relationship.

[lostincornflakes]

Hi. I'm new here. I suffer from bi-polar 1 w psychosis, anxiety, and ptsd. I was dx 10 years ago. It's defiantly been a rough rode w some major bumps. Some my fault, and some due to Med reactions. I've had lithium toxicity which required a two week hospital stay. I scared my family, I was so sick and rambling on and on that I couldn't trust them. I thought the TV was talking to me. During this time I had actually had surgery on my foot. Which never should've been done because o the toxicity and my thyroid wasnt functioning. After the two week stay I was then transferred to a psychiatric urgent care for four days. I stop taking lithium and continued my other psych meds. Seroquel 800 mg Prozac 40 mg. & Klonipin .5 twice daily. That whole incident freaked me out. I made sure I kept my monthly Dr visit and I was stable for quite a while. I gained 60 pounds on seroquel but it works. I noticed after a couple years I was dropping the weight and the inches. Years went by with out any major problems. But that all changed last February. I was hospitalized with pneumonia. It was really bad and took two strong antibiotics and high doses of steroids to get better. I was released w more antibiotics and steroids. Within three days I was back at the psychiatric urgent care. My mom and her friends called the police because I was doing crazy things and wouldn't stop. I was in a full blown psychosis and in my head thought they were the crazy ones. This time I was put in a psychiatric hospital for three weeks. They stopped the prozac and the steroids and left me on 600 mg of Seroquel, put me back on klonopin and added 1000 mg of depaoke er. I agreed to try the new combo of drugs. I had lost 70 pounds at that point and 17 inches. I hadn't been at weight since my 20's. I was proud of myself. I was still a big girl but I was losing. First visit w psych Dr she up the depaoke to 1250 mg. That's when the hair loss started. The weight gain was immediate. I went back to 1000 mg and the hair loss stopped. The depaoke or the lack of the prozac has helped. The paranoid thinking stopped. I'm sleeping again. But I've gained 40 pounds. And that really upsets me. I want to quit the depaoke. My Dr suggested lowering my seroquel from 600 mg to 400 mg. I'm not so sure of that. I need it to sleep, even if its only 4 hrs. So here I am looking for others like myself, for support and to gain more knowledge of my mental illness. Sorry for how long this is and hope I posted it in the right place.

[PAYNE2]

I was diagnosed with bipolar I in the spring of 2003. However, as I look back over my life I can see where I've been bipolar all along with manic highs and depressive episodes. Right now I'm in a depressive episode. My psych is trying an off label use of Ritalin to help my depression and increased my Abilify, but my Lamictal and Wellbutrin remain the same. I can tell that the Ritalin is helping.

I've gained a lot of weight and depression works against weight loss. I'm way overweight for someone 5ft 7in @ 250 pounds. My doctor has told me to eat half of what I normally eat for each meal and to walk 30 minutes twice a day rain or shine. My depression also works against me taking good care of my pre-diabetes which is the main reason that my doctor wants me to loose weight. I've been trying to follow this plan since August 1st and while I've not been consistent, I have managed to loose 6 lbs so far.

[purpleseptember29]

New member, hoping to be supportive and possibly get support should I feel out of touch, looking forward to being here. Was diagnosed a year ago in a very unpleasant experience, but trying to put it behind me is proving difficult lately, and tonight was a moment of weakness that I felt needed more than my own self-assurance. I want to stop being a shut-in. Glad to be here.

[choocha]

Good luck with your pro-activity and search for advice and help. That you are seeking it is a big step. Kudos to you. I hope you find all that you are looking for.

[choocha]

My replies aren't matching up with the right person grrr bummer. Hi, I think I'm new to this group or forum. I was initially diagnosed with mixed state rapid cycling bp2 approx 7 years ago, but it has now apparently morphed into more conventional bp1 over the last few years. I preferred the bp2 because i had more up's than downs. I hate the downs and don't cope well. At least on the up's I'd get lots of housework and stuff done. I have been on the medication merry-go-round for years, finding the right ones, right combo, right doses. Seem to find good one, then 2 years into it they stop working then back to the drawing board. I've just come through a recent depression and subsequent med change, which I'm feeling positive about. I can already notice a difference. I do believ there is a right medication and therapist for evryone out there. I don't belive you can treat bp without medication, therapy and a strong support network. These 3 things are simply vital. I have tried all, none and combo's; and the most success I have is with all 3. I find it hard accepting my diagnosis because of the stigma attached, for exaple when there is a murderer on tv and it turns out they have bp, I wonder what the person sitting next to me is thinking etc. I try to not let my bp be an excuse for being a normal functioning productive member of society, but it is hard at times when I can fluctuate so dramatically and I put so much pressure on myself. I'm a bit exhilirated at the moment becasue I put on a bunch of weight with my meds ( for years) but have recently started to lose weight without even trying, so maybe it's the combo I'm on now; maybe my body is finally returning to it's former glory. Let me be a dreamer OK? I'm looking for other similar people to me on here to share lifes up's and downs with. While I can talk I'm also a good listener. As well as bp I also have bpd, mdd, gad, and bdd (if that helps anyone). Anyone new to being diagnosed or suspecting they may have it, feel free to ask me questions. I'll be only to happy to answer them if i can. I believe I'm a good role model because I haven't rolled over and given into my condition. I do believe you can live a good quality of life with the illness and I'm a very posoitive advocate for trying everything there is out there to get help. Look forward to hearing from you soon xo

I have been lurking and starting to post over the last few weeks. I have been on a few psyc forums before but none as big as this. Im finding myself nodding along to a lot of the threads, I feel like I have found people that understand.

Im diagonosed Bi-polar, it was 2 but I had mixed episodes along with GAD and OCD. I was stable on my meds for the last 2 and a half years, but now the anxiety is starting to get bad and I am hugely lacking motivation. I will probably make a thread later with some of my concerns but I need to get my brain in order first.

This seems like a great forum, I cant wait to be a part of the community.

[JaeMae]

Hello to all. As with everyone else, I am glad I have found this site. I am 36, married, and have one child. I have suffered with major depression since I was 12. I was only diagnosed with Bipolar I at age of 31. I have always had an intuition that it could possibly be Bipolar but was adamant in telling myself, "your not crazy.... this is normal". But in the back of my mind my conscience was telling me "no, this is not normal". Over the years my temper, personality, and attitude was changing consistently and only growing worse. I have had 4 major conflicts that disturbed my life. These impacts worsened with each incident. The last incident knocked me for a final loop. I almost lost my newborn son an hour after his birth. After that I found myself in the worst state of mind I have ever been in physically and emotionally. No prescribed antidepressants, or anxiety meds worked in helping, they only made the mood swings worse and more violent. Finally my family doctor sent me to a psychiatrist whom diagnosed me as being Bipolar I.

I am so glad I have found all of you. The words, "I understand", " I know how you fee", etc; could never mean as much to me as they do now. I really feel at home here and am glad I can be comfortable with the people that surround me. I look forward to meeting everyone and making new friends. This is such a relief from the chains of feeling that (other than my husband, and God bless him for what he does do to help me) no one else in my life such as other family and friends, are willing to understand, have a desire to be informed, or can take seriously what this condition does to me.

Warmest wishes and hugs to all that have found this site!

[MillionaireWaltz]

Hello.

I just introduced myself in the general forum, but this seems like the place I really ought to do it.
Last month, I was diagnosed with both bipolar disorder and PTSD. As I look on it now, I've struggled with this for most of my life, beginning in my childhood. I have a family history of both depression and bipolar disorder; my Dad's sister has bipolar disorder, as does my brother. I have cousins who are on antidepressants for severe depression, and though I am no mental health professional, I am most certain there are family members who have mental illness and haven't been diagnosed.
However, the hardest part isn't coming to terms with a possible genetic predisposition, it's having to cope with the sexual abuse which happened to me almost frequently between the ages of 7 and 11. I feel strange for sharing this information, because in "real life", I keep this tucked away until another episode (frequent ones at that) spills it out of me and I'm back to a heap of rubble. But I have to get over this fear of telling people, because this is a mental health forum where, as I've seen thus far, no one is judgmental.

Each day is a struggle. My episodes were often long, though sometimes they were so rapid and short I couldn't even comprehend who I was or how I was feeling. I've made many mistakes in my life, but the biggest one is the amount of sexual partners I've had. Again, I look back in reflection NOW and think, 'how could I have done that?', yet I have no answers. I once withdrew from all my college classes, took the refund and, instead of telling my parents, I went shopping for clothes. I don't have these clothes anymore, and now I don't have that education, either. I have a different one, but had I just been helped earlier, my life would be very different.

Anyway, I've blabbed on long enough here. I look forward to meeting people here. Best wishes to all of you.

-G

[ambitious_lemon]

Originally Posted by MillionaireWaltz

Each day is a struggle. My episodes were often long, though sometimes they were so rapid and short I couldn't even comprehend who I was or how I was feeling. I've made many mistakes in my life, but the biggest one is the amount of sexual partners I've had. Again, I look back in reflection NOW and think, 'how could I have done that?', yet I have no answers
-G

You sound like me. I have no answer for the amount of partners and flings (even though they didn't result in sex) in my life. It's tough not knowing the reason why you do things.
_____

[anc1990]

Hello all.
I'm a 23 year old student with a full time job in retail. I was only recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, though I'd been diagnosed years ago with depression from a different doctor. I was put on antidepressants and they seemed to help for a few months, but then the mood swings got progressively worse and I stopped taking them. For about four years I went on and off until I recently got a second opinion.

My manic episodes are slowly getting worse. I binge-shop and have managed to rack up thousands upon thousands of dollars in debt in the last five years. On top of that, my libido went crazy. On medication, I had absolutely no sex drive. Off, I was extremely promiscuous. During manic episodes, my self-esteem is through the roof, but during my depressive episodes, I hate myself. I've dabbled with thoughts of suicide and tend to get really sick really easily. My relationships suffer as well. During manic episodes, I'm paranoid and overachieving towards my partner(s). If I become too paranoid, I'm unfaithful. During depressive episodes, I don't even want to see anyone.

It is nice having this forum with like-minded people in similar situations. Feels a lot less lonely.

Sent from my iPhone

[LionLion]

Hello everyone, I'm LionLion. I'm 28 y/o female from Emerald City.

I've a Dx of bipolar II that was one of the reasons I was medically discharged from the military (along with right leg nerve damage). It wasn't until I read through my own mental health records (that I requested and conveniently forgot to give to the VA, since those guys lose more paperwork than you can shake a stick at) that I realized the first pdoc (a COL) had also Dx'd me with antisocial personality disorder, which he kept on the super down low as an attempt to save my military career. I have non-combat related PTSD that was crazy exacerbated by the military (more of what those people DID to me when in, the training was tops) and to this day hasn't really been treated as a "real" problem, even though it's an official Dx.

I've been on a ton of different meds, with limited success. Now I'm on Lithium, which terrifies me since it has a not-all-together good rep and I've heard horror stories about people trying to come off of it. I'm also on 450mg of buproprion, which for some reason my pdoc was giving me, straight, for a year, until I had the mother of all anxiety attacks.

I'm hoping to find some community, and a place to vent where I won't hear "get over it" or "why can't you just be better already?" I try really hard to keep myself "normal" around my friends and family, since I feel guilty as all hell if they catch me in a manic or depressed stage. I have mixed episodes most often and those can get pretty ugly.

I have a boyfriend who is understanding, as he grew up with a mother with unDx'd DID and raging alcoholism. I think sometimes he sees my mental instability as endearing compared to what he had to deal with.

Sorry for the novel Hi hi!

[jamox01]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Welcome to our forum! Come in and introduce yourself to other members!! This thread is place for new members to get the attention and feedback of the older members, or older members to give more information about themselves. They can discuss diagnosis, treatment or another other topic of their disorder and older members will respond.

I created this introduction thread due to the number of introductions posted on the "Bipolar Chat" sticky. The Bipolar Chat that I lead is now scheduled on Fridays at 9 PM EST. It will cover a variety of topics which will be posted in the chat announcement and outlines will also be posted for those unable to make the chats. The first Friday of the month Wingin'it will lead an open Bipolar Chat. Those will Bipolar are also invited to the Depression Chat on Wednesday at 9 PM EST, but there will be significant overlap in topic.

Hello,

I'm jamox01 and have been a member of these forums since 2008 when I was diagnosed with Cyclothymic disorder. I didn't follow through with my treatment plan and stopped taking may meds and going to therapy after a about a year. In the last three years I've had a manic episode that lasted over a year, a couple of depressive episodes, and most recently a mixed episode.

I finally got sick of all the ups and downs and got help and was just recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1, OCD, and Bulimia Nervosa.

It's good to be back in treatment and this community as well. I look forward to getting to know everyone!

[SBs_tahira]

Hello,
I am tahira, just found this website and am excited to learn about this new development in my mental health. I was diagnosed with bipolar six weeks ago after being diagnosed with post partum blues for nine years. A change in dr got me reassesed so its time to gather more info and learn about myself and put a support network in place that understands me and wont judge me... and yes i am shy and can be very quite. They are still working on the assesments to figure out whats all been missed over the years and whats been misdiagnosed and whats right.

[KAnne1989]

Hello, all. I'm Kathy and I'm 23 years of age. At 14 I was diagnosed with GAD, BDD, OCD and moderate depression. Last year, I was officially diagnosed with PtSD due to some traumatic events in the last two years but in the past 6 months I've noticed a dramatic, noticeable change in my symptoms, behavior and patterns that make me believe I may be "developing" or have always had some form of Bipolar disorder. I'm looking to try to find answers through therapists and psychiatrists now, but I'm here to find support and insight from those who may have experienced similar problems...

Thank you all. <3

[taylor85]

Renee you are not on the right meds. Please go back to your doctor or maybe you need someone else to help you. There is help for you. Please do not stop trying to find it.

Hi newly diagnosed. But have had it since early teens. Have my first appointment to become a client of a psychiatrist Sept 12th. My family doctor has me started on meds so itz helping. How often is having the swings considered ok. Cause mine are nearly daily.

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF700T using Tapatalk 2

Hi, I'm Amy, I'm a retired stay at home mom/military wife of 50. I went back to school at age 40 to become a teacher and did extremely well in my classes only to have my depressive crash two weeks into student teaching. I was able to finish the next semester and I am still currently licensed but I have never gotten my own classroom, only subbed. Now it is almost exactly 7 years since my breakdown, I sit at home with my geriatric dog playing on facebook or pinterest or go to water aerobics 3 times a week. I am mostly stable, I found out the hard way this spring not to use caffeinated diet supplements so now I try to do things to keep me healthy. I facilitated a support group from Nov 08 til this spring but had to give it up because of my anxiety issues that were fueling my bp. I'm a returning member of the forum and hope to give and receive support.

Originally Posted by Quavein

Hi newly diagnosed. But have had it since early teens. Have my first appointment to become a client of a psychiatrist Sept 12th. My family doctor has me started on meds so itz helping. How often is having the swings considered ok. Cause mine are nearly daily.

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF700T using Tapatalk 2

Originally Posted by emomom

Hi, I'm Amy, I'm a retired stay at home mom/military wife of 50. I went back to school at age 40 to become a teacher and did extremely well in my classes only to have my depressive crash two weeks into student teaching. I was able to finish the next semester and I am still currently licensed but I have never gotten my own classroom, only subbed. Now it is almost exactly 7 years since my breakdown, I sit at home with my geriatric dog playing on facebook or pinterest or go to water aerobics 3 times a week. I am mostly stable, I found out the hard way this spring not to use caffeinated diet supplements so now I try to do things to keep me healthy. I facilitated a support group from Nov 08 til this spring but had to give it up because of my anxiety issues that were fueling my bp. I'm a returning member of the forum and hope to give and receive support.

Nice to meet you Amy. I worked in Retail for 16 years and @home customer service calls for nearly 2 years. Had the anxiety and depression since I was 5 or 6. Got very "moody" in my preteen years. Currently I'm on a medical leave from work. My anxiety attacks were so bad I couldn't handle calls anymore. I was always anxious, took time between calls that I wasn't allowed to decompress. But when the Zoloft stopped working I went down bad. Doctor put me on Effexor. We thought we were treating anxiety and depression. Can't take calls even on 1.5 mg of Klonopin. Doctor and I could not figure out why stuff wasn't working. So I wrote up 6 pages of thoughts and stuff after I read it to him, I asked what he thought. Told me bipolar on top of the rest. And asked me if I wanted to see a Psychiatrist. I felt so bad for him. He looked so out of his depth, so I agreed. The meds aren't working very well. So I'm in maintenance mode until I can get a specialist to look at me. I am keeping a journal and paying attention so I don't have a mind blank at with the Therapist. I seem to cycle nearly daily. Haven't missed one so far. Which is scaring me. No one in my family will admit if anyone was manic depressant in the family "dirty little secrets" and all. But my Father was moody like I am. So I'm deciding if I should tell the Therapist or not. Also had a great aunt that my grandma told me was manic once. My mother denies everything. So I don't know what to do anymore. I can't prove that it runs in the family my mom denies it. But she's the one who first brought up about me possibly being Bipolar. Anyway, I'm getting very wordy. It is very nice to meet you.

[Blue_Bird]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this part of the forum. I was just recently diagnosed as being bipolar after a few years of being treated for depression and anxiety I ended up having two manic episodes. I hope to learn more about this disorder and be able to talk to people here about it

[LooseThread]

Hello...............I too have BP too. In a bit of a rollercoaster ride at the moment.

[monalisaclaire]

I want to introduce myself. I really do. But I was anxious/manic all last night and I am having trouble finding the strength to tell my story. Its a stupidly long one. I am hoping that if i can get myself started writing, that the strength will come.

I am a 30 yr old singe mother of a 5 year old boy and 11 year old girl. I am a full time teacher at an online high school and a full time graduate student in a neuroscience program. I am going to be a clinical neuropsychologist one day. I decided yesterday that i don't care how long this illness makes it take, I will make it there someday. I am an artist, poet, singer and i find my stillness when I am in the woods and mountains. I have had anxiety (separation/general) and panic disorder my whole life. By age 7 I had PTSD and the traumatic events didn't stop until I was about 25. My mom has Obsessive compulsive personality Disorder. My dad has BP2 and GAD. My grandmother who pretty much raised me half of the time has BPD. My older brother has DID, BPD, and almost everyone in my family has an IQ over 150...

I was injured (abuse) as a child on my lower spine and a car accident in 2010 finished the job and i was ALMOST paralyzed. I underwent 9 surgeries in 15 months and i am functional, but I have severe neuropathy and partial paralysis. When I was 8 I had my first break. It was kind of a psychosis. I just couldn't engage reality (PTSD). My step dad didnt want to put up with my tears, outbursts, or absentmindedness and so they decided to medicate me. I was on all kinds of meds but they just made everything worse. At age 9 I attempted suicide for the first time. My brother started hearing voices when i was six. He started blacking out and trying to kill me when I was 10. When I was 12 I was hospitalized. The pDoc, who was not my doctor, decided that I was ADD and despite the fact that my doc had found ritalin made me worse, put me on 120 mg/day (based on blood levels). I went crazy manic. Clawing my skin off of my arms, breaking people limbs, etc. They dosed me on 1500 mg of lithium a day and things just got worse and more confusing. I was set to transfer to the Texas state mental hospital, but After 6 months, they took me off those meds and just a low dose of prozac and i went home to the same old ****. In high school I was pretty successful top 2% of one of the highest ranked classes in the state, Art Choir, theater, latin etc... but it was hard and I have always had a hard time keeping friends. I'd withdraw for long periods of time but when i wasn't withdrawn i was so co-dependent that healthy people would pull away. I was on effexor from age 15-19 and when i was 19 I was a junior in college and double majoring in art and political science, in the honors program and working 50 hours a week. The stress broke me. I got pneumonia, passed kidney stones, had partial liver failure, i tried to kill myself and then I got pregnant to a squatter, all in about 6 weeks. My daughter was born the same semester I was supposed to be going to the UN for a peace studies internship. I had already canceled it, when i found out i was pregnant. My liver failed during my pregnancy and she was born 11 1/2 weeks early. I managed to finish school on time, but my mental state was verging on a break from reality. The condition was being worsened by a church that encouraged me to believe in the supernatural. I started having night terrors again and feelings that I was meant for something monumentally great. When i was 21, I graduated from college with a degree in cognitive psychology and a 3.4 GPA. My mom and step dad tricked me into giving them joint custody of my daughter (health insurance was their excuse) and things got really bad from there. I was exhausted, depressed, rapid cycling, pacing, sleeping in my closet, and i wanted psych help but after the trauma of ages 8-19 I had a panic attack every time i even discussed it with a doctor and eventually I couldn't even discuss that topic with docs.

It wasn't until after my car accident left me in so much pain that i COULD NOT keep my explosivity at bay and one day after lashing out at my kids they were cowering in a corner afraid of me that i decided the I had to suck it up and get help. I have been seeking help since april 2011 and was finally diagnosed with BP2 mixed episodes rapid cycling, PTSD, Panic Disorder, and a few borderline tendencies.... I am on 75 mg Lamictal pm, 15 mg buspar pm, 7.5 mg buspar am, 50-100 mg trazadone pm and I am currently switching from cymbalta to lexapro (the switch is terrible, im and faint, pail, ears ringing etc).

[pastafarianza]

Wow. You've had a tough life!
I hope you can find support here and that the meds help you.
I'm at a loss for words, hate this feeling
I'm BP2, Depressed and have OCD. But the drugs I'm on seem to be helping me.

[deepestwaters40]

Hey all, my name is Abigail, I'm 19 and I have bipolar 2. I've been posting a bit already but I thought I would formally say hi

Thanks for some of your help already and many thanks in advanced for more to come!

[nice nessa]

hello im nice Nessa im glad to be here to meet new friends n to express my feelings