[Lifeischallenging]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Yes, the highs can feel good. I didn't understand though, are you currently manic or depressed? I hope you are being supported.

I am in therapy currently. Its very challenging, but I've been also trying to find another psychiatrist for a second opinion as well. But that is hard as there is no one close by for me.

Originally Posted by TheHPEnthusiast1987

I am in therapy currently. Its very challenging, but I've been also trying to find another psychiatrist for a second opinion as well. But that is hard as there is no one close by for me.

I'm looking for a new psychiatrist but won't be able to find one until I can switch insurance providers in a few months. Good luck finding one.

Sorry for my post earlier guys. I'm doing better than I was and am focusing on steps I can take to fix my situation. I think my husband is right and my period is really contributing hard core. I'm a sobbing mess over everything and I'm so drained and tired but I can't sleep yet. Hopefully soon.

[Sunflower123]

I got up this morning and washed my clothes in preparation to go out. I feel hopeful this morning that despite the depression and anxiety I can move forward in some way. I have a busy day planned. Fingers crossed.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I'm looking for a new psychiatrist but won't be able to find one until I can switch insurance providers in a few months. Good luck finding one.

Sorry for my post earlier guys. I'm doing better than I was and am focusing on steps I can take to fix my situation. I think my husband is right and my period is really contributing hard core. I'm a sobbing mess over everything and I'm so drained and tired but I can't sleep yet. Hopefully soon.

Please don't be sorry for your earlier post. I appreciated your honesty and courage. It broke my heart and I just wanted to give you a big hug.

[bipolar angel]

Im doing ok today. Showered,did dishes,laundry..still have lots of clutter,mail,bills to sort,ugh..nut worked all day yesterday-going to work hrs today.
To all who are having bad days-hang in there. I know i cant say anything to make it better/go away. But just know that we support you and understand. Most of us have had that awful depression-where i just want to sleep%ferl my life stinks/will never change/wonder why friends&relatives have seemingly great luves and i cant get out of tge pits...then my depression will lift a little-I can shower/dress-just get up and do 1 or 2 things..so know that we get it. Hope iy is a lttle better each day.

[hopeless2015]

Got up at 5:30,went to the gym, showered, came to work. The gym does help get me going for the day, hopefully my down mood will pass quickly now. I did buy more cigarettes though, but husband is on board to quit now to, we are shooting for Thursday that gives me a couple days to cut back and mentally prepare. Will see how it goes.

Two appts today -- one with therapist and the other with pdoc. Not looking forward to ether. My mood is just crap right now

I know my therapist wants to talk with me about painful things in the past, but honestly, I don't know if I can handle that right now. I'm too depressed and it's very possible that I will completely break down

But I guess pdoc appt might go okay. We are going to make a medication adjustment. I'm just too unmotivated to go anywehere

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Two appts today -- one with therapist and the other with pdoc. Not looking forward to ether. My mood is just crap right now


I know my therapist wants to talk with me about painful things in the past, but honestly, I don't know if I can handle that right now. I'm too depressed and it's very possible that I will completely break down


But I guess pdoc appt might go okay. We are going to make a medication adjustment. I'm just too unmotivated to go anywehere

Good luck with your therapist. My suggestion would be to tell them that you don't want to talk about certain things today. I'd think they would be able to steer clear of those topics, at least for this session.

Are you planning to get a stimulant from your psychiatrist? If so, which one? Please don't say Adderall.

[scatterbrained04]

Today has been slightly better. My eyes feel dilated. I often wonder if anyone else gets this sensation? Anyways. Maybe it's just all the coffee I drink though it doesn't do it every day. My concentration still sucks, but I'm less irritable today. Depression is so so. Anxiety is still too much to phone pdoc about my gapapentin running out before I see him. If I don't I'll be in trouble soon. Part of me doesn't care.

[Daonnachd]

Still fighting the cold, but I got myself to work today.

[Naynay99]

Just got home from work. Struggling with both depression and physical illnesss stuff, so I am pretty wiped out. I Plan on taking a nap. I want to go to a support groups later but I might not make it back out of the house tonite.

I feel sort of like I'm not really here. Going thru the motions but I don't feel anything. Maybe this is where my mind self destructs itself. I'm so tired. The only good thing left that I can see is 4 legged and covered in fur.

[pirilin]

Another day to say I will do it tomorrow.

[jacky8807]

Doing well and being productive. World can t stop me now I'm on fire! Lol

[Moose72]

Kids and I are cleaning the apartment tomorrow. For sure!

[Naynay99]

Struggling. I think i have used all of my coping resources up.
This depression feels like it's going to last forever.

I'm f_cked. Totally f_cked.

I did something today at work that could get me FIRED. (Well, it's not really something I did... it was more like something I DIDN'T do despite all the reminders.)

I'm panicking right now and I can't sleep. I hope to f_cking god that I do NOT get fired

Lefty's brother, regarding a deepening schism with a California tax attorney:

There is time to go apesh_t later.
Let's enjoy not doing it now, because
Apesh_t costs money, every time.

[bipolar angel]

Having weird days..beginning to think I get mixed episodes now...even though pdoc has never said so. I can feel depressed/no motivation for part if day-then go to work/run around%be amped up but not teuly feel lije i di when im hypimanuc..while driving to work-can think about all the people and situations im angry at-and,as I'm driving be saying out loud what I want to say to them, but never do! This helps me release my angee. Then after work,at home,if thinking too much about bills,clutter,cleaning,etc...will have the anxiety and ps the anxiety will pribably wake me uo twice per night,ugh...none of the feelings is awful. Yay,meds-which I think keeps me from goung to far in any direction. I'm just tired of feeling the roller xoastwr of so many emotions back/forth in 12-24hrs.

[Theresa1991]

I am feeling awful. Anxious,loaded with aimless energy, unable to sleep or be calm and concentrate, panic attacks every second day, not feeling like myself.

shortest conversations are just so hard. wondering when they will realize i am not normal.

[Sunflower123]

Every morning I wake up hopeful that today is the day that I will actually get up and out of the house. As I realize that's not going to happen I get more and more depressed. I was able to get out yesterday and go to a meeting at school and run some errands. Why can't I just be proud of that and get off my own back?

[Wander]

Last night was a disaster. I was highly suicidal and the nurses didn't take me seriously, or take the time to talk to me. Finally, I lost it and began screaming about how I was going to run away and kill myself. I begged them to call my doctor but after half an hour they hadn't. I was beyond ropable by then. They gave me the meds I explained gave me akesthesia despite my protests. My parents came up to be with me and keep me safe. They shouldn't have too but needed support. I slept a fit full sleep and woke depressed.

Tonight I saw my doctor who had no idea what had happened. He was furious he was not informed about my state of mind. He changed a few meds and hopefully things will get better from here.He is going to check on me tomorrow. I am still suicidal tonight but comforted by the chat with my doctor. At least someone listened to me. Just have to get through tonight and hopefully wake feeling ok so I can go to university and give a presentation. If i can't i can put if off for medical reasons.

[Wild Coyote]

Reading here daily.

Still wrestling with deep depression.
Latuda, citalopram, Wellbutrin not helping enough. Doing a trial of Adderall.
I hope it helps. (BP II )

Love to all,

WC

[jacky8807]

Having a productive day so far. Kinda irritable though. Could be from the large ice coffee I drank
The guy ahead of me paid for my coffee and I got pulled over for speeding but only got a warning
So I guess a lucky day so far!

[hopeless2015]

Feeling down again today. I drank last night and that was obviously not a good idea for me. I'm home in bed feeling so bad about myself...i hate this

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I'm not doing well. I'm sorry if my tone is difficult, I'm deeply sorry if my mood is effecting others on here...I'm so hurt and angry and confused and......I have this need inside me that is too big, and I don't know what I need and I don't feel anyone could fill the need for me....it's a deep all encompassing feeling and my emotions are all over the place. My husband thinks it's the situation with my son and my period....I don't know what it is but my head is full of snot, I can't stop crying for days and even though I'm sleeping alright I'm so tired and cloudy there are no words for it. I'm so deeply angry, hurt, rejected, dismissed, Lonely, aching, throbbing. I want to drink so bad...I went out to get a beer but decided to go to the park in my pajamas instead. I talked to the ducks and birds and they listened to me cry and it was so overwhelming....so much tension all around me and inside me....I feel I might snap any moment but there is nobody to call or help me. It feels like the nightmares I have where I screaming for help but can't make a sound and nobody hears me or chooses to ignore my struggles.

Dearest Elsa,
Oh how I wish I could help somehow.
My heart breaks wide open.

(((((( ElsaMars ))))))
May you feel surrounded by Love.


WC