[MsSunflower]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

Feeling pretty lonely and irritated. This upcoming week is anxiety filling and I just want to lay down and feel alright for once.

Sorry you're feeling so lonely lately. Happens to me a lot too. I hope your week goes easy. Remember to take time for yourself.

[bornunderabadsign]

Today was okay. I'm disappointed that camping plans didn't fall through on account of the weather. I'm winding down now. When I'm up and moving I tend to be in better spirits but at the end of the day I just feel a little blue.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

Feeling pretty lonely and irritated. This upcoming week is anxiety filling and I just want to lay down and feel alright for once.

@sadveiledbride
Am sorry you are feeling lonely.

Do you know about the chat rooms here.

There are many people who spend time in the evenings there.
It helps with the loneliness. Why are you irritated?
Have you ever tried meditation?

That might help you get to sleep.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[~Christina]

It’s weeks like this that I’m glad that I cook huge amounts of food so I can easily grab a bag of X out of the freezer and bam dinner is done. I also put one chicken breast in freezer bag, my husband and I split one, take one out and it’s quick to turn it into anything I want. I must have 35 in my freezer. Pork chops too.

Couple months ago I made meat balls and sauce. I wound up with 16 bags worth lol One bag feeds both my husband and myself. Just had to cook the pasta.

This pain has me really worn down so I’m forcing myself to find things I’m grateful for daily.

~Christina, that sounds like a great set up. I have plenty of things frozen in 2 person packs, but mostly raw meats. I'd like to have some precooked stuff, too, like soups. I had precooked meatballs a while back, and like you wrote, they worked out great.

I'm not sure why, but I woke up at 4:00 am. I was thirsty and hungry so I ate a clementine and have a glass of water. My hamstrings are sore from planting the last of the flowers. Hubby and I repaired a few scrapes on our deck chairs. Everything is wonderful! At this moment (4:38 am) I hear the early birds singing, and am cozy under my blankets with hubby snoring next to me. When I briefly got up, my parrot said "Nighty night" from under his covered cage. I quietly responded with the same.

I think I'm doing very well on my diet. It's the only major step forward I'm succeeded with other than the physical activity increase relating to home and garden improvements.

[Wander]

Trigger Warning-Abuse

Crazy day. Long story but something inside me led me to drive through the neighbourhood I grew up in. An area filled with landmarks, and the very person, linked to my childhood abuse. I was full of rage going in and nearly threw up after. Having avoided that area (which is really only several suburbs away) for years I needed to make it real again. It is real, just changed as suburbs do.

My decision to do this happened in an instant and there was no turning back. Why I put myself through that I’m not entirely sure but I do think it needed to happen. My T said I needed to take control over my life. I’m not sure he had this in mind. Rage is tearing at me for reasons I cannot bear or dear to describe. I feel alone in this, with no hope of justice.

My mind is cracking but so far I am looking for healthy ways to put it back together. Still, my cracking mind is flowing with idea after idea, and I’m not even manic. Just angry. How can I become free? Can I simply shake off my past and move on? Questions for myself. Just pondering.

[sadveiledbride]

I still haven't slept yet, it's 5 am. I am feeling very sad and low. I hope with sleep things will be better, and that maybe I can sleep soon. I hope my day goes okay.

[Wild Coyote]

A Warm Hello to All!
Just checking in. Enjoying reading the many posts, trying to catch up here!

this marital separation has become a serious nightmare in just 4 weeks. It is one thing after another! Over the past few days, there have been multiple "attacks" on the computer I have been using. Somehow, the network and the security program were accessed/disabled. Only my H and I had those passwords. Approx 800 pictures of family, events, trips , pets, etc., all gone. 3 Backup sets for computer restoration are also gone. Nobody else would be interested in all of the pics, etc. He denies knowing anything about the "stolen" pics/files. It is all so weird. I have asked him if he would like to use the computer and his answer has been "no."

So, what is going on? It is all disturbing, to say the least. He is showing a very dark side which I know nothing about, yet am learning about EVERY day! He must have hired an IT person to have pulled this off.? Why the need to eradicate backup sets? What is so very important/secretive that anyone would go to such extremes?

I am beyond exhausted. cannot fathom anyone acting the way he does. I have never know this side of him... at all. People are shocked by the things he has been doing in the past 4 weeks. I could say more, yet figure this is more than enough, considering this is an open forum. What a nightmare!

I have kept reminding him that we need to be able to work together to sell property, to sort out storage units, to work out the details of our divorce, etc. It is all so very strange. I am not the one who was violating our vows. He has done so...for many more years than I had ever suspected. He is, for some reason,trying very hard to "swipe" the computer remotely, even though he has been repeatedly offered the computer, intact with all files, pics, documents, etc. Very strange and very disturbing. As far as I knew, we were one another's best friend for 27 years. He was/is living some kind of a secretive, dark life. He is caught in one lie right after another with blatantly clear
'proof" that he is lying. I do not know how I can work with him on all that needs our attention/cooperation Go ahead and read between the lines if you care to do so! I cannot disclose much more at this time.

He is also very angry that he has to settle @ 50:50, as this is state law.

Thanks for reading! I am feeling very confused about what is going on... it all seems so very bizarre to me.
He has a straight face, adamantly denying everything he has done even recently and when shown hard evidence. Crazy-making!

Much Love to All!

[bizi]

@Wild Coyote

I am so sorry that you are going thru this mess with your soon to be exhusband. How cruel to steal/destroy your photos.
You have always been so good to us....
I wish there was something that I could do to help you.
(((((HUGS))))
I hope you can separate soon.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

@Wild Coyote, I'm sorry this is happening to you. I assume you have taken some measures to separate your personal belongings/communications (various sorts) from your husband?

I can't help but wonder if your husband may be ill to some degree. Maybe I'm totally off base.

[Unrigged64072835]

So, so sorry you’re going through this WC. I don’t know what else to say. It sounds like he’s doing everything he can to stress you out. He’s not going to be reasonable now. Best to get some legal assistance if you can. Domestic violence assistance as well since he’s doing everything except physical abuse.

[tecomsin]

I finally had to draw the line in the sand and am taking a break from going out on any more lunches with this lady I have written about before. We go out about once a week and in the good weather will go to the park and walk and sit and watch the canoes and ducks and geese go by for hours if it is nice. I like sitting in the shade and she likes more in the sun but we can usually find a compromise.

Well last Saturday was the only day without rain for several days proceeding and predicted for many days after so it was a good day to get out. We ate on a patio and then had planned to spend the afternoon outside at the park we like to go to. As I was paying the bill she got a phone call from another friend and accepted an invitation, without any discussion with me, to be at her house at 4pm that same day.

Since it was already 2:30 I suggested would not leave much time for the park and hoped to open up a conversation and maybe she would call back and change her plans with her friend. She suggested instead of the park on the nice sunny day we go to the mall instead.

Because it suits her schedule now.

We ended up going to the park for an aborted trip. It was very nice there. When I got home I remembered that I could have spent the day with my son instead of her and still be at the park.

Then i texted her that she had treated me unfairly and I was taking a break from going to lunch. She apologized but then immediately turned the focus into what she wanted to discuss with her friend rather than what happened and my hurt feelings.

I saw myself as purely instrumental in her life. I pay for her lunches and am company to sit out in the sun when she has time for me. We would have been out till 6 or 7 if our day hadn't been interrupted by her friends phone call.

[Blueberrybook]

WC What a nightmare

[Blueberrybook]

I feel very on edge and tense today. Not sure why. I couldn't exercise 2 days in a row, but today, I did take around a 20 minute slow-paced walk (had already showered this AM) to try to settle myself, but it was no good. It had been raining this morning, so walking then was out. My daughter is at a robot making camp this Monday-Thursday that goes from 8 AM to 4:30 PM. She was pretty livid when she found out I had signed her up for something with a start time of 8 AM (i.e., major drama this morning when I woke her), but I told her she needs to be doing something besides sleeping until noon and playing on the computer or iPad all summer long.

I'm making some herbal tea right now, claiming to be a tension helping blend. Well, it's got chamomile and lemongrass grass in it along with B6 and B12. I hope it helps some. I am just right there to having a panic attack...sigh. I can't stay on task to do anything.

Oh, WC!!!!! My heart goes out to you SO much!!!!! The situation he's created is so outrageous I'm speechless... just speechless. Good grief. Mega mega hugs to you.

[tecomsin]

I am so sorry to read about your marital crisis, WC. What he is doing is illegal and you need to report it to the police. They can make a forensic investigation of what was done to your computer system.

Take care of yourself. Do you have some people to help and support you? You have to protect yourself against the possibility of it even getting worse too. If he gets away with this then it is possible for him to escalate. Please be careful. We are all thinking of you and hoping for a safe and swift resolution.

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry this is happening to you Wild Coyote. I wish you strength through this difficult transition. Sending big hugs and supportive vibes.

[Wild Coyote]

My H is diagnosed with Bipolar 2.
I do not think his behavior is due to BP 2 though. Surely could becomemore agitated due to BP2.

After I had told him to leave, I had realized he had been living a secret life for a very long time. I am SHOCKED! I honestly think he has character issues. It's frightening, scary!
It is also very sad.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

So, so sorry you’re going through this WC. I don’t know what else to say. It sounds like he’s doing everything he can to stress you out. He’s not going to be reasonable now. Best to get some legal assistance if you can. Domestic violence assistance as well since he’s doing everything except physical abuse.

Yes, I agree. I also find his behavior, his tactics Very abusive. I gave him a couple of short articles on abuse, especially emotional abuse. I'd also told him that he is frightening people with his behavior. It does notmatter to him; he does even more.

I do not understand why he is targeting me, abusing me, etc. Why does he want to hurt me even more?

I feel strongly that he feels like he can bully this household simply because there is no male figure here. I think he feels free to abuse women.. Again, the man is now a stranger to me.

[MsSunflower]

I went to volunteer today to get training for a new volunteer program that starts sometime in July. Everyone was really nice and helpful in showing me the ropes. It only took about three hours but I haven't really worked since October and I'm a bit sore. Probably sleep good tonight though. Going to my day hospital groups tomorrow and then free for the rest of the week.

[tecomsin]

So I texted my friend over the course of several days 3 short messages about 3 things I got upset about. First she made last minute plans to see her friend, while we already were out together and had plans for same time in the afternoon she decided to see her friend (and dump me).

Second she suggested we go to the mall instead of the park, when she also loves to be outdoors on the days it is nice to do so. She did this to save time so she could go see her friend when she agreed to.

and 3rd when i texted her the that I felt she had treated me unfairly she quickly apologized in one sentence and then immediately moved on to explaining what she had discussed with her friend she dumped me to see. It's like she doesn't even realize how insulting that is.

Then she texts me back that she doesn't know how to respond to 'all this' and she apologizes again without acknowledging, that she hurt my feelings or trying to reassure me she actually cares about my feelings.

The truth of the matter is I don't think she cares about my feelings at all. Not a bit. She never did. She is a fake friend.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Yes, I agree. I also find his behavior, his tactics Very abusive. I gave him a couple of short articles on abuse, especially emotional abuse. I'd also told him that he is frightening people with his behavior. It does notmatter to him; he does even more.

I do not understand why he is targeting me, abusing me, etc. Why does he want to hurt me even more?

I feel strongly that he feels like he can bully this household simply because there is no male figure here. I think he feels free to abuse women.. Again, the man is now a stranger to me.

With my second husband, since I knew his secrets and I was leaving him, he made me into the bad person to protect himself from feeling like a failure or a bad person. I didn’t come back so things went really bad after that. I think that may be what your husband is doing, but don’t know him personally. I do feel you’re being treated unfairly. It isn’t your fault.

[MsSunflower]

That really sucks tecomsin. I hate people like that, you deserve better. I'd rather have no friends than fake ones. Good for you for standing up for yourself and not letting her treat you like that.

[sadveiledbride]

I feel like absolute ****. What better thing to do than complain on the internet, right? I feel so alone.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

I feel like absolute ****. What better thing to do than complain on the internet, right? I feel so alone.

Complain away! You are never alone here.