Bipolar Check-in #86

Speaking of art I have art group tomorrow at my mental health clinic. I also have an appointment with my psychiatrist there in the morning. So I’m gonna have to go there and back twice. Hopefully it’s not too bad as I’m walking there. We’re supposed to get a snowstorm tomorrow or Thursday.

Our maintenance man is really nice. He just let me know he was here, looked at the shelf, and gave me a thumbs up. I’m already for the March inspection of all the apartments.

It’s trying to snow, dang Punxsutawney Phil and his 6 weeks of winter! Well I got ten minutes before I head out. May everyone get what they want for this one day! Purple yes you can vibes every where!

Happy Birthday @Mountaindewed

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird I think art is a great outlet as well Blueberrybook! I’m gonna work on some art later today after my appointment gonna try a drawing from one of those guidebooks

And remember the best and most important rule about art is: HAVE FUN!!! It's supposed to be fun. If you get frustrated, try something else or give it a rest for the day. Sometimes, I will just go back and do simple shading for cylinders, cubes, spheres, etc. if I need a reset and evidence that yes, I CAN still draw. In truth the pictures don't even have to be good as long as I am enjoying myself drawing (though I can be perfectionistic, so that can be a bit of a balancing act there). The best thing I find about drawing is that when I am drawing, it clears my mind of absolutely every other thought except drawing. It works better than reading or exercising in that sense. Sometimes reading, I will get earworms from my morning walking playlist or start thinking about what I'm going to cook for dinner, lose the train of thought for the story. But it doesn't seem to happen to me when I'm drawing.

@raspberrytorte - Yep, that is exactly what I told my husband too. Don't tell me anything about the news unless I really need to know it like a hurricane is bearing down on our area or something of similar note.

Happy birthday!

Thank you!

That's true for sure. I tend to be perfectionistic too and overly judgemental of my art, but I'm working on not being so harsh on myself. It is very meditative, it's a good mindfulness activity. Requires a lot of focus so there's not room for anything else really going on in your mind

Man do I feel awful. Achy and barfy. I was so tired I couldn't get out of bed after 9AM for the 3rd day. I don't know if I'm overdoing the work outs at 5AM or if its the metformin. Caffeine withdrawel is also possible since I can't handle coffee anymore.

I'm just going to give in and see my primary for my annual.

I just looked at the symptoms of caffeine withdrawel and it could actually just be that. I haven't had coffee in awhile and I can't drink much soda either without having problems.

Happy birthday @Mountaindewed!

My day has gone pretty much the same as most: pilates, shower, breakfast, read with the SAD lamp. I saw the pdoc, and he was happy with how I'm doing. My appt. was so quick, it felt like it could be done over the phone, but I know it's important for the pdoc to see you in person to gauge weight trends, signs for EP side effects (or in my case, if the EP side effects I have have worsened, which they have not). Just got med refills, told to come back in a month.

It took awhile at the pdoc's, he was backed up by my appt. time, had to wait 45 min which is why I prefer appts as close to 8 AM as possible. Drew some when I got home, made lunch for my daughter & myself, drew a little more. I'm pretty proud of my outline of a kingfisher bird. I may color it tomorrow with colored pencils and draw a 2nd one to color with oil pastels (plus I got some better paper for drawing with pastels on order from Amazon). I have found that in the animal kingdom I seem to have a knack for drawing birds and elephants (strangely enough!).
Here is my kingfisher outline:

I hear you. It;s a challenge enough to keep the mind in a place where the feel-good chemicals usurp those that drag us down into the darkness. The way you feel is valid and it's great to express it. Especially in a place such as this. Thank you for sharing, likewise everyone here.

I don't have answers, I do have a suggestion which works for me - turn the news off. I don''t watch live stream tv at all, nor do I watch the news. I find there is more than enough pops up via my phone every now and then to know enough. Using Facebook, YouTube and other social media tools, as tools with purpose, again, very little exposure. I can tell you it's made a world of difference. If I really need to know something, the emergency apps, or emails inform me. Plus, sadly, in the world that we live, people often tend to bond over negative news or gossip rather than positive as the chemicals used are quick hit and therefore proven addictive. So I find out again whats going on through engagement. One of the reasons I endeavour to spin by having a joke to share

The world is messed up, and recent developments, yep, from the bits and pieces I have heard, it's a dicey place with knife edge dynamics. I don't keep my head in the sand, I do endeavour to take in more positive news than negative each day. And, when you think about exposure levels available, it's something that takes deliberate action rather than being spoon fed constant cortisole inducing, sensationalised news.

Time for a drink and piece of toast here, just gone 8.30am and returned from our early morning walk. The sun rising is blood red as the smoke from the fires continue to dazzle the sky with colour. We are fortunate in that very little residential property has been lost, so keeping this in mind makes it easier. Unlike the fires in other areas of recent times.

YAY for Wednesday! And YAY for you all.

@Blitter2014 - Yes, yes, yes! No news for me either. I didn't even realize how much a lot of my anxiety and panic had to deal with the news until I've gone without it now for nearly 2 months. And, wow, what a difference! It may make me a bad citizen, but on the other hand, the effect it was having on my mental health was NOT worth it! And it's not like I have any power to change all the crap going on in this country and in the world in general. I can't change that, but I CAN change the effect on my mental health by just unplugging myself from news and politics in all its forms.

And I unplugged from social media too because of politics in that and also because of people posting images of their "picture perfect" lives that made me constantly feel as if I were falling short and added to my feelings of depression and inadequacy as a wife and mother. I have been off social media, gosh, must be 4, 5 years now. Best decision ever.

Happy birthday MD

Happy Birthday @Mountaindewed !

I'm really down but I don't even know why... like I was feeling great a few days ago. I have no clue whats up.

My mom can't figure out what I want. Shes asking what I want to eat and I just want to sleep. She says she is concerned with how dramamine I'm taking.

Thank you for the birthday wishes everyone. I really needed them.

Happy birthday @Mountaindewed !! I hope you get to feeling better soon.

I love all your drawings @Blueberrybook - very talented.

I love your drawings too @Blue_Bird and am excited that you got your new books yay!

I would have been mortified too @Nammu - if my maintenance man came in with me pantsless! Glad you got through that visit okay!

I am doing better even though I am sleeping and missing out on things. I have to get myself together and get working or at least attempt to. I have that job interview coming up, but I am so worked up about references and my criminal record that I am psyching myself out of hopeful thoughts. I really hate why job interviews have to be so grueling, and they want so much information. Plus, I am probably competing with 1000 other people. I am going to try and remain positive though and put my best foot forward.

Here's me from Sunday sporting the grey hairs! I refuse to dye it! LOL.

Thank you @LadyShadow ! I hope your job interview goes well, very pretty picture

I’m hoping to get some sleep tonight. 4 nights in a row of 4-5 hours is getting to me. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow at 8:30am. It’s a 2 week follow up from when he increased my Thorazine and added the PRN doses 2 weeks ago. I will say my paranoia has gotten better. I’m not having delusions of being poisoned now.

I also noticed I’ve been dissociating less lately. Like it hasn’t happened in over a week now. I’m not sure why. Normally it happens and average of 3 sometimes 4 times a week every week. It’s weird cause I started dissociating last week and I took one of the PRN Thorazine doses and within an hour after taking it I felt perfectly fine and was no longer dissociated. I can’t pull myself out of dissociation most of the time on my own so it had some effect to have done that. Maybe at least by alleviating the anxiety triggering the dissociation in the first place. So that’s cool.

i love risperdal. no more hallucinations. glad my pdoc was able to address this quickly and effectively

I just took an extra dose of my new beta blocker with my evening meds, and my tiredness heart beating seems to have improved. This cleanup has been exhausting and it is nowhere near done. Is procrastination one of the seven deadly sins? I keep seeing shyte and recall me saying to myself, i will deal with that later. It should be the only sin - it keeps you from doing anything good in your life.

Happy Birthday @Mountaindewed

Felt kind of blah/bored for a lot of today. This morning, I had a catch up phone call with a friend who lives in another state so that was nice. I also got a walk in after school. This evening has really flown by-it will be bed time before I know it. I'm practically falling asleep at my computer so this is a good thing. I had a kid run with scissors today. Sometimes, you'd think I teach elementary school by the way the kids act. That's actually part of what I love about teaching junior high though, especially early junior high-they're just silly.

Had a great day at work today. Pinch me. I must be dreaming 🛌

Happy birthday @Mountaindewed!!!!

I do feel better this morning. I slept a long time and I drank 2 cans of soda to help with this caffeine issue. I skipped my workout since I have been pushing myself too much lately. My stomach is thanking me and I haven't needed any OTC pain or nausea stuff. I had a couple frozen Greek yogurt bars for breakfast. So things are going well so far.

MD - If you are throwing up during workouts, you are working yourself too hard. I'm sure you know you are not supposed to throw up during a workout. Also, working out on too empty a stomach can cause nausea problems, at least it does for me. I usually have a banana beforehand to have something not too filling in my stomach and also to give me a bit of an energy push. And throwing up so much isn't good for you at all, you know. Bad for your stomach, your esphogaus, your teeth. And it causes electrolyte imbalances. Plus, it skews what you can view as weight loss as a lot of the number loss on the scale is often water weight. If you're throwing up the day or night before, it's a good idea to skip working out until you get your GI issues under control. And you do take an awful lot of OTC meds (at least it seems like to me). That just can't be good for your stomach either, and I'm pretty sure soda is not on your diet plan. You often have issues with it, so why keep drinking it?

Not to be too harsh or anything, just my take on it. Why keep repeating and repeating the same cycle when there are things to do about it? And it did seem you were doing better mentally when you were feeling better physically, that makes sense. We'd all like to see you get back there again.