Bipolar Check-In #92

Would I get in trouble if I took a Tylenol PM after taking 2 Bayer joint and back meds 1.5 hours ago? The Bayer didnt do much and the icy hot is... hot. This smell I'm smelling is driving me crazy. Its like a combination of icy hot, old food, and a horses ***. I need to relax

@Mountaindewed

"Generally, aspirin and Tylenol (acetaminophen) can be taken together, especially for pain relief, as they work through different mechanisms and don't have significant interactions. However, it's crucial to be aware of potential risks and consult a healthcare professional before combining them, especially if you have pre-existing conditions or are taking other medications. "

The Bayer stuff does contain extra caffeine to make it work better and the tylenol PM might cancel that out.

I have no idea how any of this interacts with your other meds and that's obviously hugely important.

I did a little lesson planning and was just scrolling on my phone when all of a sudden my brain decided it wants to spiral: anxiety, shame, irritability, and SI. I think I know what emotions are triggering this, I just don't know how to fix the situation connected to these emotions. It's only a little after 7 pm here-I wish it was later so I could try to just sleep through this.

Trigger: SI talk (I'm safe)

So I talked to H and we will be getting a dog soon.

@BeyondtheRainbow, yeah, they did. Except they just heard "I think my insides are falling out," (before I knew it was specifically my uterus and rectum that had prolapsed) and jumped to conclusions and didn't listen to "I mean my literal insides, not the stuff that goes through my insides." I was transferred from medical to psych (it took me 4 days of saying this shyt sucks to take me off Rexulti that was causing compulsive chewing myself, akathisia, insomnia, and decreased appetite) to medical hospital for a quick fix and a have a follow up Monday.

I called the emergency line like 50 minutes ago saying I'm ready to end it and still no call back

@MuddyBoots Maybe call again? And complain to your therapist when you see them. That's awful.

I'm glad your internal organs are internal. What a horrible mess.

I called four times in the past 8 hours and they called back once acting like I was being a huge problem so no, not going to. They clearly don't want to deal with me anymore and I definitely don't want to deal with them.

I ended up talking with 988 and it devolved into "do I have a potential lawsuit against my clinic?" (essentially)

by the way 988 isn't allowed to tell you anything about laws

Well I slept from 9-4 which is great! Alarm goes off at 7. I think I’ll still go to my appointment as it’s been six days of little sleep with the exception of tonight.

@MuddyBoots

That's why I don't call crisis lines. They always fail me. The first time I ended up just hanging up on them because the lady just kept on making saying okay okay, and I could hear her clacking away on her keyboard, and the second time they rudely told me they didnt know and that I needed to call the hospital and hung up on me. Both times were ODs and I ended up in the hospital.

So crisis lines can kiss my ***. 💋

The 988 chat was kinda helpful. I’m scared I’m going to get triggered by med management today and wind up regretting some awful fking shyt though. Maybe if my fking treatment team wasn’t all “call you in 15 minutes, call us if we don’t “ and i had to call FOUR FKJNG TIMES JUST TO FIND OUT IF THEY HAD MY MEDS.

I’m thinking of ending it today.

Please don't @MuddyBoots - call back 988 if you have to.

I am in a weird head space - after being in a dramatic state the past four days - I am finally out doing something productive. It feels so different getting up and going somewhere. I know when I go home it will be just be me catastrophizing everything again - I wish my home was my safe space - it's become my torture chamber.

I am out discussing things with my bestie - I have a life most dream of having, and yet I am throwing it away with both hands. What would it take for me to stop doing this?

Good morning. Was gonna go to the grocery store today but decided not to and to do a grocery order instead so I don’t have to deal with the crowded store on a weekend.

Some idiot kept ringing my intercom at around 4am. It’s really really loud. So like people coming into the building (it’s a secure building) can punch in an apartment number and it’ll ring on my intercom and show me camera footage of who’s out there and I can choose whether or not to remotely unlock the buildings doors from my apartment to let them in or not or alert security. and sometimes people come and punch in the wrong apartment number accidentally. That happens pretty frequently. But anyway someone did it at 4am and I was so pissed because I was having trouble sleeping last night and I had finally started getting some good sleep. I didn’t even get up to check it cause I know it’s just someone ringing the wrong apartment. I certainly don’t have company coming over at 4am. Other apartments have people coming and going all hours of the day but I don’t.

I slept weirdly last night. I fell asleep at 9 and I woke up at 2. Then I got back to sleep until 4 and I made some Muscle Mac. I got back to sleep until about 7.
I don't know how to explain how I feel. But my neighbor hasnt been around so thats good

I high key love and hate living in a city it’s obvious I’m not the only one suffering insanity from sleep deprivation.

I had disorientation and psychosis. Are you experiencing those too? I’m so tired right now but my dr was emphatic- no naps! I slept 10 hours last night finally but I still feel like it’s bedtime!

If seeing itty bitty lightning bolts everywhere, hearing people talk about me and to me all the time even when I'm alone in my studio with the windows shut at 2am, and randomly blacking out and finding myself in the middle of the street about to collapse means yes, then yes.


If I were you I'd be like "f you doc, I'm napping. Day time sleep is possible, night time sleep isn't with all the screaming and hollering and explosions and sirens and fast heartbeats and anxiety and dread and panic" Over half my sleep in the hospital was during the day and I guarantee you I'd be dead without those 3 hours those two days.

I understand. My mom thinks I should get off the couch and clean my apartment. Or go to the mall! **** the mall! That’s too much driving, walking, stupid **** to look at- I’m not going to buy anything anyway. I get the nighttime sirens all the time too cuz I literally live down the street from a hospital.

Same!!! Also probably closer than the hospital is the 2/3 neighborhoods that they warn you about in the city including a huge parking lot filled with homeless people that know how to make illegal explosions.

Ready for my shift to end so I can go home. Tomorrow is mom's birthday so I got to pick up her cake and a card. Hopefully she has a good one.

Holy crap! Well my own neighborhood had a shooting, and a lady screaming bloody murder forever outside my window in the middle of the night and when I called 911 the dispatcher said “we know”! Guess lots of people must’ve called!

I tried going back on my topamax yesterday, and today I was all anxious and moody and sleepy unlike I was when I was off it. So I flushed it down the toilet, I think you can do that with meds. And then I took a 45 minute nap and an extra valium. I feel ok now.
My mom gave me some of her arhrtisis tylenol and at first it didnt work but now its ok. Its my knee again.
I have to pickup a few things from Walmart in an hour. Not sure on dinner. I ate a can of butter beans for lunch and they were filling.

@Mountaindewed your soda flavor collection got me curious about what’s available now in terms of flavors. I don’t typically drink soda, just on the rare occasion for a treat. But I saw orange cream coca colas on Amazon today and got two cases. I’m curious what they’ll be like. They sound really really good.

Probably gonna get some vanilla ice cream and make orange crème coke floats out of them